'Jarvis,' Pepper pinches the bridge of her nose once the doors to Steve's floor have closed, 'can you check if Rhodey would be available to speak to me?'
'Of course, Ms Potts,' there's a small pause. 'Colonel Rhodes is currently playing a game on his phone; I suspect he is not too busy to talk.'
'Tower defence games again?' she asks as Jarvis puts her through.
'Jarvis, stop ratting me out,' Rhodey laughs. 'Hey, Pepper. How's the mad house?'
'That's what I need to speak to you about,' Pepper smiles at him so he doesn't worry. 'I need you to come home.'
'What's he done?' Rhodey sighs but Pepper can see he's worried.
'He's...' she pauses and gets off the lift at the penthouse as she considers her wording. 'I think there's a situation arising that could be quite... catastrophic.'
'Catastrophic,' Rhodey repeats dryly. 'For us, Tony, the public or SI?'
'Mainly Tony,' she settles onto the sofa.
'What's he done?'
Pepper sighs,
'Ok, you know he has a little boy and another on the way?' she waits for him to nod. 'The first, Peter, is a clone of Tony himself but the second, who he's going to call Jim, is biologically Tony and Steve's.'
'Steve?' Rhodey stares at her, 'Steve from the forties, Captain America Steve?'
'Yes. And Tony hasn't told him because he doesn't want Steve to feel like he's trapped into looking after a child with Tony that neither of them planned for.'
'And you want me to smack him over the back of the head,' Rhodey rolls his eyes and nods.
'Well, yes,' Pepper smiles. 'But I'm sure one of his main reasons, which he hasn't actually admitted to, is that he thinks Steve will want to take the baby.'
'Valid concern,' Rhodey wrinkles his nose, 'but doesn't he have a pack of lawyers that probably need some exercise?'
'It's not a valid concern,' Pepper shakes her head. 'This is where things get messy. I can't be certain, because he always acts a little strangely around me, but I think Steve is crushing on Tony.'
'You're kidding.'
'I might be wrong,' Pepper allows. 'People hero worship Tony all the time and Steve doesn't have that many friends.'
'But if you're right...'
'If I'm right this entire situation could...'
'So you want me to tell Tony to ask out Captain America?' Rhodey sounds a little hysterical.
'No!' Pepper can't stop herself rolling her eyes.
Men...
'What then?'
'I need you to come home and monopolise Tony's time,' Pepper sighs.
'Why?'
'Because if this is a passing crush for Steve then this is a terrible time for it to manifest.'
'Because given half a chance Tony will fall for him, and fall hard, but probably still not tell him the truth,' Rhodey groans.
'If he sleeps with Steve without telling him about Jim then their personal and professional relationships will be irretrievable,' Pepper concludes.
'How does this bullshit always happen to Tony?'
Pepper can't help but laugh,
'It will be good to see you again; Tony's missed you.'
'Yeah, well, I am awesome,' he smiles back. 'It'll be good to be back. I'll tell the brass that I have a Stark situation to deal with; they'll give me three weeks, no questions asked.'
'Great, thank you.'
'Hey, he's my stupid genius friend too! I'll see you tomorrow.'
Pepper signs off,
'Jarvis, is Tony ready for his meeting?'
'Very nearly,' the AI hedges.
How anyone can ever meet Jarvis and think for a second he is anything but as stubbornly loyal as his creator is beyond her.
'How is he, Jarvis?' she asks quietly.
'Sir is well, Ms Potts,' she knows from his tone that Jarvis hasn't pretended to misunderstand the question. 'His main concern at this time is Master Peter as the child fully reflects how sir, himself, was at that age.'
'Of course,' Pepper almost wishes it were a socially acceptable time to drink.
'He seems oblivious to Captain Rogers' attentions,' the AI adds.
'Jarvis, you monitor everything in the tower,' Pepper bites her lip. 'Does that fully include the floors that aren't Tony's?'
'Yes,' Jarvis replies simply. 'Several of the inhabitants of the tower... may believe they have disabled monitoring functionality within their spaces; they are incorrect.'
'Do you know if Steve actually wants to be with Tony?'
'I am not certain. Captain Rogers displays love struck behaviours, such as spending much time with sir, drawing his features from memory and acting protective towards him against SHIELD. However he has not been vocal whilst masturbating so I...'
'Jarvis,' Pepper laughs, 'please don't ever let Steve know you told me that.'
'No,' Jarvis agrees. 'I believe only you and sir are comfortable knowing everything I am capable of.'
'You won't tell me how Tony feels will you?' Pepper asks already knowing the answer.
'Sir is my primary concern,' Jarvis reverts to sounding like a computer when he doesn't want to talk.
'I appreciate how you protect him, Jarvis,' she nods understandingly.
'Sir has reached the conference room,' Jarvis adds.
'Jarvis,' Pepper considers her words so she doesn't offend the AI, 'you're keeping an eye on Peter?'
'The only being on this planet with more active surveillance is sir,' Jarvis confirms. 'I will keep him safe.'
'Good,' she smiles. 'Keep me updated on Rhodey's eta?'
'Of course, Ms Potts.'
Steve can see the reluctance Tony's feeling as he fixes his tie,
'The meeting shouldn't be more than a few hours,' Tony looks to where his son is painting again. 'I'll be back soon after. He'll need food before then...'
'Tony,' Steve interrupts with a smile, 'we'll be fine. I'll make lunch and make sure he has a nap. If we need anything I'll ask Jarvis to alert you.'
'Right,' Tony nods, looking more uncertain than Steve has ever seen him. 'He never told me, you know? Howard never told me if he...'
'You're CEO,' Steve adds gently when Tony trails off, 'you're the one that told me that means you can skip meetings.'
Tony nods,
'No, I need to know how their experiment worked. Our entire roll out plan for arc reactor power depends on it.'
Steve watches him silently for a moment,
'I don't know what Howard became while I was in the ice...' he hesitates when Tony's gaze snaps to him. 'I don't know how he could have... You aren't Howard. Your sons will know their Dada loves them.'
'Right,' Tony gazes at him and then gives a quick nod. 'Thanks, I'll see you later.'
One final glance to his son and Tony gets onto the lift.
Steve moves to sit with Pete at the table and watches him painting what looks like it must be him and Tony working on his car.
'Dada is working now?' Pete looks up at him.
'Yes,' Steve smiles. 'He has a meeting; he'll be back later.'
'I made a picture for Dada,' Pete puts down his brush.
'I'll put it over here so it can dry,' Steve lifts the wet paper carefully.
'Ok,' Pete watches him before turning to a fresh sheet of paper. 'I like painting.'
'Yeah?' Steve sits back down beside him. 'Me too.'
Pete pushes some paper towards him and looks up shyly,
'You should paint too.'
'Ok,' Steve agrees, 'what should I paint?'
'You like Dada too,' Pete tells him. 'You should paint a picture for Dada.'
Well there's some logic for you.
'Alright,' Steve agrees and tries to imagine Tony's face if Steve presented him with a painting.
Actually, knowing Tony, he'd probably pin it up in the foyer of the building and point it out to everyone he could.
Steve starts painting an Iron Man suit with a child's proportions; Tony should get a kick out of it.
'I'm painting Captain America,' Pete tells him.
'It's good,' Steve smiles as he looks at the blue figure holding a shield. 'He needs a head though.'
'I need yellow for the head,' Pete tells him.
'Captain America's cowl is blue,' Steve replies.
Pete looks up at him, looking confused,
'Your hair is yellow.'
Steve feels himself breaking into a bright grin,
'Right, of course you're right.'
Pete seems happy with that answer.
