Outside, night was rapidly falling. The sun had set, leaving behind only an orange glow in the west. The Bay Area wasn't L.A. by a long shot, so stars were already coming out, but not as many as in Lawrence.

Though the heat of the day was bleeding off, it still wasn't anywhere near cool enough to be running in a jacket. Sam kept it on anyway as he sprinted through the parking lot, not wanting to slow down for even the few seconds it'd take him to shrug out of it. He didn't want to explain himself to Dean, or to the restaurant. He had no idea how much damage Lucifer had managed to do to their lighting and electrical systems. He passed a car that he recognized as Dean's near the edge of the lot. Sounding like she was on autopilot, Ruby suggested he steal it, and Sam clenched both hands into fists to keep from grabbing and throwing her.

He was a runner, had been since middle school. He'd probably be cross-country if he ever tried out for his school's track team, which Charlie kept urging him to, but he'd learned his lesson about that way before he'd ever hit college (high-school teams weren't too friendly towards the bearers of notorious angels and demons...especially in Kansas). Sam took back roads and alleys, darted into parks, putting as much distance between himself and the restaurant as he could. Lucifer's red glow kept him from tripping over anything, and he ignored his burning legs and lungs (not to mention the gallons of sweat inside his shirt) until it felt like he was about to collapse.

Sam brought himself to a stop with a few long, hard steps, then doubled over, hands squeezing his bent knees as he sucked wind. His hair hung in his face, wet and stringy as sweat dripped off it onto the asphalt. He closed his eyes and willed himself not to throw up. It was hot, Lucifer had showed up before he could take even one bite of his food, he'd had a few beers...he wasn't surprised.

The nausea was slowly starting to ebb when Lucifer, who'd climbed onto the back of Sam's neck, spoke up.

"Okay, so, honestly." His tone was conversational. "What'd you think you were gonna gain from this? Leaving me trapped in your bedroom and telling Cocksucker Lips back there you didn't have an angel." Sam focused on breathing, but Lucifer's voice made its way in anyway. "Not like you could've kept the charade up for more than one night even if I hadn't been able to bust out because of the whole, y'know. Archangel thing." Sam moved over to a tree by the side of the road, putting a hand on it as he straightened up. "Guess you could've gotten some casual sex. But I can't really see you being into that. Be too hard on all your poor widdle feelings."

"I don't know," Sam mumbled. Lucifer moved back onto his shoulder. Just ignore him echoed through his head, the advice practically everyone had given him for most of his life. He really didn't know what he'd thought he was doing. Or what he'd thought the outcome would be. Still gasping for breath, he realized, "I'm so stupid."

"You definitely are," Ruby confirmed happily. "You're a huge, raging moron. This whole plan of yours might've actually been the dumbest thing you've ever done, which is just...wow, Sam. Really saying something." To Lucifer, she added, "I am so, so sorry, sir. I never said anything to him about doing that to you. You know I wouldn't. It's such an honor to work with you."

"Relax." Sam finally peeled his sport coat off himself. Ruby and Lucifer stepped from it onto his shirt. "I know it wasn't you. Also, ick. Maybe tone down the ass-kissing, all right?"

Sam slipped a hand into his pocket, planning on calling Charlie to come get him. It'd be humiliating, but at least she'd be more sympathetic than Ruby and Lucifer. That pocket was empty, though. With mounting dread, Sam searched the rest of them, including the ones in his jacket. When he was finished, he was forced to admit that not only had he left his phone all the way back at the restaurant, but his wallet, too. Either that or they'd fallen out while he was running.

Served him right, honestly. He hoped his wallet was at the restaurant, in the booth. So Dean could use his cards to pay before he cancelled them. It was probably the least he owed him after this disaster of a date.

"Uh oh," Ruby said in a sing-song voice, having noticed his predicament. She was sure in a great mood now. "Looks like somebody's gonna be walking home."

"Jeez." When Sam looked at Lucifer, he was shaking his head. "Are you on top of things tonight or what?"

Sam looked around, at the buildings, the trees, the street signs. He knew where he was...vaguely. A long way from his apartment, thanks in part to his mad dash away from Dean. When he checked his watch, he saw that he'd spent the better part of an hour running, which explained why he felt so awful. Good thing he was wearing tennis shoes.

Even walking as fast as he could, he probably wasn't going to get home until very, very early in the morning. He couldn't remember the last time he'd stayed out that late; maybe he never had. Better get moving.

Sam's legs hurt. He knew he'd pulled muscles, pushing himself too hard with no stretching or warmup beforehand. His thighs were stinging with chafe from the denim. He had a persistent, throbbing stitch behind his left ribs, he was having a tough time catching his breath, and he still felt a little sick. His hair was a total mess and his button down, which he'd completely sweated through, stuck to him. Both Ruby and Lucifer commented on it, making noises of disgust. Unfortunately, his shirt didn't hold their focus for long.

"It's okay," Ruby comforted. She was sitting on his shoulder, gently stroking his damp, greasy hair. "If you think about it, this is actually a good thing. You know you don't really deserve to be happy. Not with another person, at least. That Dean guy seemed really nice; you don't wanna inflict yourself on somebody like that."

"Oh my Dad," Lucifer complained. "Lay off him." He put a hand on Sam's scalp and leaned his full weight (not even half a pound) on him. "Look. Kiddo. Don't listen to her. You totally do deserve to be happy, and it's not like it's your fault it'll take different things for you than it does other people. You might feel like what you want is 'sick' or 'wrong' or 'illegal,' but it's my job as your angel to tell you there's nothing bad about following your natural urges." Desiccated feathers brushed the side of Sam's face. "You're gonna find someone. But no way in hell are you gonna attract them just by being yourself." He laughed. "No way. But there are plenty of other ways to get them, y'know. Guns, drugs, knives, heavy blows to the head...then you can do whatever you want with them. Whatever feels right. And when you're all done, I'll go ahead and walk you through ditching the body."

"I don't want any of that!" Sam burst out. He didn't have a whole lot of energy to spare. He knew arguing with Lucifer was never a good idea. The words poured out of him anyway, though, like the vomit he'd been holding back a few minutes ago. "I never have! I'm not a serial killer, I'm not a psychopath, I'm not a rapist - I'm not a - a - I'm normal! I wanna be normal! I wanna be a lawyer, and get married, and have a house and kids and dogs. That's all I've ever wanted, my whole life." He grabbed Lucifer from his shoulder, glaring down at him in his hand. "The only thing about me that's not normal is you. It's all your fault, you ruin everything. No wonder your father and all the other angels hate you. No wonder they won't let you back into Heaven for downtime between your bearers."

Red light flickered in Lucifer's eyes, accompanied by rage. Sam usually knew better than to mention God to him, or Heaven, but tonight hadn't been usual. Lucifer grinned, fangs on full display again. They came and went.

"Oh, you think you're normal, huh?" he asked. "I've got news for you, Sammy: according to everyone I've ever asked, dear old Dad doesn't make mistakes. He only ever gives me to the worst of the worst. Murderers, dictators, sadists. Cain's blood. So, like it or not, that includes you." He pointed. "You can try to run away from it. You can try and burrow down inside an apple-pie life. You can even follow Ruby's advice and try to drink it away. But I think you and me both know one simple fact: deep down inside you, there's something wrong. It's been there since day one. And it's got nothing to do with me."

Sam swallowed. The hand he had Lucifer in was trembling. His entire body was.

"You know it." Lucifer's voice had dropped to a whisper. "I'm a symptom. Not the disease. Your soul's rotten, Sam. Your dad knew it, your mom, even the fucking FBI knows it. Even if you'd somehow managed to keep me hidden away from Dean forever, he would've smelled the corruption coming off you eventually, and he would've left. Everyone's gonna leave. Either that, or they'll die."

Sam closed his hand around Lucifer, started to slowly tighten it into a fist. Just like when he'd held him out of the shot for his Fluttr picture, tiny bones shifted, and the shafts of feathers stabbed him. Lucifer started to laugh as he squeezed.

"Are you gonna try and crush me again?" he taunted. "Drown me? Freeze me? Burn me alive? Thought you grew outta that ages ago, Sammy."

Sam's trembling worsened, to the point where he probably wouldn't have been able to hold onto Lucifer even if he'd wanted to. He let out a long, slow sight, opening his fingers and dropping his hand. He lowered his head as Lucifer flew back up onto his shoulder and patted his ear consolingly.

"There you go," he praised. "Trying to kill an archangel's a waste of energy. Energy that'd be better spent on other things."

Like walking home, even though that probably wasn't what Lucifer had meant. With his sport coat tucked under one arm and his head raised just enough to see the road ahead through his hair, Sam started moving again. It was cooling off and, with sweat still clinging to his body, he was getting cold. He didn't move to put his jacket back on, though.

"You know whose fault this is?" Ruby spoke up after a while.

"Uh, mine?" Hadn't they played this game already?

"No." Ruby shook her head. "Well, partly, but mostly it's Charlie's." She knelt next to his ear and practically put her whole head inside it, her horns scratching the outer part. "She bullied you into making a Fluttr account. She made you use it. She took your phone, impersonated you, and set up a date with a guy you never wanted to meet in the first place. You're walking five miles back to your apartment with an empty stomach and pulled muscles because of her."

"Hey - yeah." When Sam looked at him, Lucifer was pointing at Ruby with both hands. "She's completely right. You never would've thought about trapping me if that ginger bitch hadn't made you do this. You didn't want to. You didn't even wanna get the stupid app, remember? You shouldn't be out here. She totally ignored what you wanted." He poked Sam with a wing. "She needs to be punished. She deserves to die. You know it, and you know it'd make you feel better."

Tempting as it was to blame how he felt right now on somebody else, and convenient a target as Charlie was, Sam just didn't have the energy to get mad again right now. Things might be different on Monday. When she asked him how the date had gone. For now, all he wanted to do was get home, crawl into bed, and stay there for the rest of the weekend.

"Just shut up," he said tiredly. "Both of you."

It was a quiet area Sam was in right now. Big houses set far back from the road, lots of trees. No sidewalks and few cars. So when one came up behind him, he heard it coming from something like a mile away. The engine was loud, a low growl. The headlights threw his shadow out twenty feet in front of him, Ruby and Lucifer stretched to the height of normal humans. He was walking with traffic, even though he knew he shouldn't, and didn't turn to look at it. At his size, he usually didn't have to worry about being mugged or anything even if they didn't see Lucifer.

Sam kind of had to turn around, though, when the car slowed to a stop behind him rather than passing. As the headlights and engine abruptly cut off, he briefly noted the glossy black paint job and hard angles. Then Dean got out.

"Run again," Ruby advised as Lucifer fluffed his wings in a threat display.

"Finally." Dean shut the door, then put his hands in his pockets. "Been looking for you all night. What are you, an Olympic sprinter or something?" He started walking towards Sam, who took a couple of automatic steps back. Dean stopped. "Whoa. Hey. You think I'm gonna hit you?"

"Sorry," Sam mumbled, ducking his head. "I'll pay you back, but I don't have any money on me right now. I left my wallet back at the restaurant."

"Yeah, I know," Dean replied. "And your phone. Don't know who Charlie is, but he's real worried about you. He, uh, 'knows you wouldn't go home with me on your own.'" Sam couldn't see Dean's face, but he watched him pull a hand out of his pocket and jab a thumb at his car. "I've got both. You want 'em back?"

Sam swallowed, looking down at his shoes and ignoring suggestions from Ruby and Lucifer. "What've I gotta do?"

"Nothing. Jesus. What the hell's wrong with you?" Sam flinched, and Dean paused. Sam heard Castiel talking to him but couldn't make out what he was saying. He sounded stern, and Dean sighed after a second. "Sorry. I'm really not mad at you. It's just...I know we maybe don't know each other super well yet, but dude. You've been talking to me for a week and we just spent an hour together. D'you honestly think I'm the kinda guy who'd make you suck dick to get your wallet back?"

"No," Sam admitted, even though Ruby and Lucifer wanted him to say yes. "Sorry."

"I know. You've only said so about a hundred times," Dean said dryly. They stood in silence for a moment, then he said, "C'mon, lemme give you a ride home. Get in the car."

"Oh...no." Sam shook his head. "You don't have to do that. Honest. I'm fine walking, it's not far."

"Yeah, it is," Dean stated. "I've got your license, remember? I know where you live." A pause. "That came out sounding way creepier than I wanted it to."

"I'm worse," Sam replied. "Trust me." He worried at his lower lip, looking up at Dean. "You don't wanna listen to Lucifer the whole way back to Palo Alto. And I'm sure your car's really nice, and I'm super gross right now, so - "

"Think about it like this," Dean interrupted. Blue and red light overlapped on the gravel between them. "You owe me an explanation, at least. Right? So just give it to me while I'm taking you back to your place."

Sam hesitated, but not for long. It wasn't like he had all that much to lose. And Dean was right. "All right." He went ahead and got in the car.