Title: - A New Memory

Rating: "T" for swearing, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts, implications of sex

World State: Normal

Word Count: 5,123

Summary: As one tragedy in a string of tragedies, Ino loses her parents and falls into a self-destructive depression, pushing away the one person who can save her.

Author Notes: This story comes from my old profile, but is now updated and fixed for grammar and spelling and the like. Hopefully this updated version is far superior to the original, but personally I'm really not that fond of it.


The Rinne Festival.

A time of cheer, love, peace...

...and Ino couldn't stand it.

Ino pulled her coat tighter around her slim body and turned the collar up against the wind. It was a good coat. Long and black with a wool lining that turned away all but the most bitter of winter gales. Ino didn' t like this coat. Too many bad memories clung to it like a chainsmokers haze.

It had been a gift from Shikamaru last year. She tried it on as her teammate hesitantly delivered a gut punch alongside it. He was leaving Konoha. Temari had been called back to Suna to serve in an administrative position, being the sister of the Kazekage, and Shikamaru intended to accompany her

Ino had felt her world tremble. Her teammate, one of her greatest friends, who she had known for years, was gone. And when it rains, it pours. That year, on the night of the Rinne Festival, her parents had returned to their home, only to fall asleep in each others arms in front of their fire place before snuffing the flames. Stray embers had leapt from the fire and set the house ablaze, smoke smothering them in their sleep, fire consuming them and the Yamanaka house.

In the days preceeding and the weeks following the funeral, Ino lived in a haze. Her performance on missions began slipping. When a trap she could have avoided nearly claimed Choji's life, she retired from the ninja profession entirely.

Now, living in a small apartment on her own, managing the Yamanaka flower shop into the ground, Ino felt a like a pit had opened in her. The memories bubbling out of it left a shroud of sorrow and rage hanging over her at all times. She became a recluse, avoiding contact with anyone and everyone, her only friends left being the bottles she crawled into every night.

Dark thoughts and voices whispered to her on the nights she didn't cry herself to sleep. A bottle of sleeping pills. A warm bath with a sharp edge. To slip off into impersonal, unfeeling sleep and never wake.

Only one thing kept her from ending it all.

In the days following the funeral, she had scrounged up enough money to buy her little apartment only to fall into her bed with enough energy to only weep. Though a number people sent condolences and a few even turned up in person, only one stayed. Sakura was there every day, trying to help turn the apartment into something livable. When she wasn't cleaning, she would cook even though most of the meals would go untouched.

Even then, in her spare time, she was almost always sitting on the edge of the bed; attempting to comfort her grieving friend, going so far as to lay down and hold her when Ino's misery would crescendo. Ino would cling to her like a drowning man would cling to driftwood in the ocean, soaking her shirt with tears and burying sobs in her shoulder.

The icing on the cake had been the teddy bear. Sakura had set the little thing on the bedside table on her first visit. It wore a little red shirt that said I HEART YOU in big white letters, its fuzzy little arms outstretched and waiting to dole out fuzzy little hugs. Looking at it only made her cry harder, knowing that someone cared about her so deeply. That, in the throes of grief when it felt like the universe was fucking with her, someone was still there for her.

In the final days, as her grief faded into an empty, numb void; a revelation struck her like an arrow from a bow. Sakura, tending to her apartment. Sakura, caring for her beneath her pall-like cloud. Sakura, opening her heart and crying with her. Sakura, from the fateful day they had met in the park to now, had always been there. Through war, and terror, and tribulation; Sakura had been there.

She felt stupid for how long it had taken for her to realize it. It was one of the few memories that Ino held dear and close to her heart. The moment she realized that she truly loved Sakura more than she had anyone else.


"Ino," Sakura called out to her friend quietly, stoking Ino's mane of long platinum. "Inooo." Ino was face-down in her pillow, blankets strewn and contorted around her.

She could tell Ino wasn't sleeping, the trembling and squeaks of suppressed sobs gave it away. Sakura watched her friend sadly. She head never seen Ino so torn up before, even in the war when they had both been knee deep in the wounded, dead and dying.

"Ino, c'mon, talk to me," Sakura whispered, seizing one of Ino's hands, giving it a squeeze. To her surprise, Ino squeezed back and turned to look at her. Watery, red-rimmed eyes surrounded by black circles met her own.

"Do I have to?" Ino croaked, voice unused to actual speech.

"I'd like it if you did," Sakura said sadly, stroking the backs of Ino's fingers with her thumb. To her further surprise, Ino sat up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Ino hunched over, hiding her face in her hands, groaning with stiffness and lingering misery. Sakura carefully put an arm around her, rubbing at her shoulders.

"Did I do something wrong?" Ino asked eventually, after a silence had pressed upon them. Sakura tilted her head.

"What do you mean?" asked Sakura. Ino choked out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

"I must have done something wrong. Why else would life start bending me over the barrel, huh?"

"You have done nothing wrong," Sakura said firmly, squeezing her friends shoulder, "Bad things happen to good people that don't deserve it all the time. You just have to be strong and-"

"'Be strong,'" Ino sneered, launching up from the edge of the bed and out of Sakura's grip. "Go ahead and bury your family and tell me how easy it is to be strong." She paced frustratedly from one wall to the other, tears welling in her eyes once more. "Yeah, bad shit happens. But saying it doesn't make it any fucking easier."

"I'm just trying to help you," Sakura said, hurt creeping into her voice, her own eyes beginning to glisten. She stood and went to Ino, pulling her into a tight hug. Ino put up a token resistance before all but slumping into Sakura's arms. She nuzzled into Sakura's shoulder, ready to begin sobbing all over again.

"Why?" she asked in a sob, "Why, why, why?" she asked, not meaning to receive an answer for her parents death.

"Because you're my friend," Sakura breathed, stiffling a sob of her own. "Because you're my friend, Ino. Because I love you too much to leave you alone in this." The hug tightened and Ino's breath hitched as the words and a kiss to the side of her head cut through.

"W-what?" Ino asked in a voice that was barely a whisper. She pulled back and saw only caring and love in those teary green eyes.

"I love you like you're a part of myself," Sakura replied with a weak attempt at a smile. She pulled her sleeve over her fingers and gently patted at Ino's tear-streaked face. "I hate seeing you like this."

The thought had been rolling around in her head for years. But now, this close and this intimate, Ino wanted to tell her. She wanted to bare her raw soul and pour it all out, but the thought that Sakura wouldn't feel the same stayed her tongue. The fear that she might drive her friend away with a declaration of love made her want to sink into the floor right then and there. She settled for returning her face to the crook of Sakura's neck, finding comfort in her warmth and scent.

"I love you too, more than you could possibly imagine," Ino breathed, quietly at peace for the first time in days, if only for the moment. Sakura tightened her grip on Ino, swaying gently on the spot as silence fell over them once more.

"Ino..."

"Hm?"

"You need a shower."


Ino fumbled with the keys to her apartment door, a paper bag tucked under one arm, the bottle inside already broken into on her walk home. Months had passed since she had gave up her rank of chunin. Many had tried to talk her out of it, insisting that she simply needed a break, but Ino was resolute. Choji's near-death was enough to spell it out to her. If she was incapable of helping a life-long teammate, regardless of her own situation, then she did not need to be in the field with anyone.

It also served as a decent excuse to not talk to anyone. She stopped answering her phone and bought an answering machine, returning calls only sporadically, just enough to let people know she was still alive, at least. Even Sakura was subjected to her rejection. Her own irrational fear of her secret getting out made sure of that. Whenever she would catch a flash of pink or the sparkle of green eyes in the crowd, Ino would quickly duck around the nearest corner and hide, looking back to see a hurt and dejected girl turning and wandering away. Ino made the mistake of making eye contact with her after running away. The pain in Sakuras eyes was unbearable for Ino and she slumped down onto the ground and cried.

In one of her drunken nights, Ino realized the irony of it all. She was terrified of Sakura learning that she was in love with her and pushing her away, only for her to push Sakura away to keep the secret.

It tore Ino's heart out to sit and listen to Sakura's voice messages. Usually they were calm and questioning. But at other times, they were tearful and pleading. Eventually, the calls stopped coming all together. Ino still caught glimpses of Sakura around the village, but she seemed...different, like all the life had drained out of her. There was no more bright smile on her face, no longer any gleam of cheerfulness in her eyes. She didn't even look around anymore in the hopes of spotting her friend.

Ino tumbled into her apartment, shucking off her coat and shoes, falling onto her couch with her bottle in hand, not even bothering to get a glass. She was only a few swigs away from numbness when the phone rang. She let it go, as usual, and listened to the machine switch on.

"Hey, it's Ino. Obviously I'm not here or else I'd be talking to ya. Leave me a song."

Ino snorted with disgust at how chipper she sounded in the message. She choked on a pull from the bottle, spilling some down her front when the caller began speaking.

"Hi, Ino. It's Sakura." came the soft voice from across the wires. "Um, listen, I know it's been a while and we haven't talked in so long...but I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come over for dinner some night before the Rinne Festival." Ino, coughing on her drink, staggered to her feet to stand over the answering machine, staring at it like it was a lifeline out of hell itself. "You know, it'd be just the us two. We can chat over dinner and catch up or whatever."

Ino was torn: her heart leapt at the chance to be able to see Sakura again, maybe even that smile that could light up a room, but her head said no with a firmly planted foot out of fear. Sakura let out a deep sigh that came as a rush of static through the speaker, her voice softer now. Ino felt like a thousand pounds had fallen on her shoulders.

"And I'll completely understand if you don't want to." Tears crept to Ino's eyes at Sakura's whimpering. "I...I m-miss you, I-Ino. It feels like when we were fighting over Sasuke. Only then, there was a reason for us not talking, as stupid as it was, but I don't see one now." Sakura voice hitched and Ino sobbed for her, covering mouth as her bottle fell from limp fingers. Ino sank to her knees, vodka pooling and sinking into the carpet next to her. Management was going to raise hell about it, but Ino couldn't have cared less in that moment. She just wanted Sakura to stop...

"Stop what?" Her brain asked her heart. "Stop talking? Stop breathing?"

"Please, don't cry, Sakura," Ino sobbed from the floor, sunken into a fetal position. "Please," she whispered.

"I-I-I don't know what I did to make you hate me, Ino, but I w-want you to know...this is the last time I'll try to call you." Ino felt sick, her arms banding tightly around her stomach.

"If I don't get your call by Rinne...I'll accept that I've done something t-truly horrible and it has cost me your friendship."

"Don't say that, Sakura. Don't say that." Ino moaned over and over again into her knees.

"I-If I don't get the chance to say this face to face to you, I'll say it now." Sakura took a deep, shuddering breath. "I wish you the best, Ino, I'll always miss you. Good bye."

Ino didn't know how long she laid there after Sakura hung up. This was it; now or never. She had already shoved away everyone that had ever meant anything to her and was now in danger of losing the most important one of all out of her own fucking cowardice.

Hours later, she shakily picked up her phone and made the call. She chewed her thumbnail nervously as the phone rang...

and rang...

and...

"Hello?" The voice that answered sounded like it belonged to someone who either had a very bad head-cold or had recently been crying.

"Sakura..."


The next day, Ino stood nervously on Sakuras front step, the phone call from last night played for the umpteenth in her head.


"Sakura..." There was a gasp from the other end of the line.

"Ino? I-I-Is it really you?" Ino let go of a breath she didn't know she had been holding, she expected Sakura to be full of anger, not hopeful happiness.

"Yeah...yeah, it's me forehead," Ino replied, playfully using Sakuras old nickname. Sakura made a small strangled noise that could have been a giggle.

"Oh w-well...I, um, h-how've you been?"

"Oh fine," Ino lied. "Other than feeling ashamed of myself and feeling like an idiot, fine."

Sakura remained silent. She didn't have to ask why.

"Sakura, I don't hate you, I never did."

"Then why...were you avoiding me?" Sakura sniffed.

"For a really stupid reason." Ino said. "It's something we would have to talk about face to face. Do you think you're free on, say, this weekend?"

"W-what? Does...that mean-"

"Yeah, forehead, it does, I'm coming over."


Ino reached forward and knocked on Sakura's front door. After her talk with Sakura, Ino got directions to Sakura's new home and was surprised to find that it wasn't that far from her apartment. The walk there left her stomach roiling, part from excitement, part from fear as butterflies fought with her nerves.

The door was pulled open and there stood Sakura, clad in a dark red sweater and a tiny black skirt, thick warm-looking socks pulled up over her knees. Ino felt quite unworthy in her own faded blue long-sleeves and jeans that had seen better days.

"Ino!" Sakura exclaimed brightly." Come in, come in." Sakura ushered her inside to a warm and cozy entrance way and closed the door behind her. Ino noted the lovely, dark, cherry wood flooring and walls.

"Wow. Nice pad, Sakura," Ino whistled. She felt a pair of soft, warm hands rest on her shoulders from behind, pulling gently at her coat, offering to take it. Ino allowed it and took her shoes off at the door.

"Thanks," Ino heard Sakura say. Ino turned to take a look at Sakura, and was seized around the waist by a pair of arms Ino was sure could snap her like a twig. "Now, I'm never letting go." Sakura said, resting her chin on Ino's shoulder. Ino smiled and returned the hug, wrapping her arms tightly around Sakura's shoulders. They stood there a moment, simply enjoying the reach from across the chasm Ino had seperated them with.

"You got here right on time," Sakura said breaking the hug, "Dinner's ready." She beckoned for Ino to follow her down the hall.

"Thought I smelled s-something good," Ino stammered out, momentarily struck by Sakura's form in front of her. The curve of neck to shoulder, the sway of her hips as she walked. "What are we having?" she recovered.

Dinner ended up being a side of roast beef dressed with a number of steamed vegetables including, to Ino's delight, cherry tomatos. The dining room was a spacious thing, decked with the same dark cherry wood. The table had already been set, two plates loaded with food already waiting. A small candelabra sat to one side, pale pink candles burning merrily.

"Whoa, tryin' to romance me or something, forehead?" Ino joked with a quirked brow at the candles, ignoring the fresh wave of butterflies in her guts. Sakura laughed, a noise that made Ino's heart soar to hear.

"Psha, you wish, Pig. I'm not that desperate," she said with a playful punch at Ino's shoulder. Ino feigned a breaking heart, throwing the back of one hand to her forehead dramatically.

"Curses, my only chance, gone!"

"Oh, stop!" Sakura said with a playful swat this time. "Let's eat."

Ino had been worried ever since the phone call that any conversation would be difficult and stilted, but as they tucked into their food the words fell into place like it had only been days rather than months since they had lost spoken.

Ino kept the conversation flowing toward Sakura as much as she could, not completely proud that her only notable achievement was how high her alcohol tolerance was now. Sakura spoke easily, not completely able to keep the beginnings of a smile from the corners of her mouth. She told Ino how she had made Jonin, but ultimately tapered off the number of missions she accepted so she could be of more use at the hospital.

Sakura was halfway through a story involving Tsunade, a genin missing an ear, and a particularly angry renegade goose when Ino froze mid-laugh. Something warm and fuzzy was rubbing against the inside of her calf, her immediate thought being...

"There's no way. No way she's trying to play footsie with me!" But then her stomach fluttered as the warm something rubbed higher, closer to her knee. Sakura paused, realizing Ino's sudden living statue act.

"You okay?" she asked as Ino suddenly leaned down to look under the table, expecting to see a hastily retreating sock. Instead a bolt of gray lightning shot out from under the table, streaking straight for her face. Ino gave a squeal and shoved away from the table, nearly toppling her chair over backwards.

"What the hell was that?" Ino asked, staring down the darkened hallway where the gray streak had vanished as Sakura laughed merrily.

"It was just Kaori." Sakura stood and padded down the hall returning a moment later with a little gray kitten cradled in her arms.

"Kaori?"

"Yeah, Kaori," Sakura said nuzzling the little kitten. "She's my baby." Ino rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway.

"Oh please, you're gonna make me barf." Ino wiggled a finger at Kaori. The kitten batted at said finger and nipped lightly at the tip causing Ino to smile again.

"Here," Sakura said, gently pressing Kaori into Ino's arms, "There's a lounge that way on the left. Get comfy while I tidy up a bit, unless you weren't done."

"No, no. I'm finished. I think I'd explode if I ate another bite," Ino joked. Sakura loosed another bubbly giggle that caused Ino's stomach to turn cartwheels. Ino had always loved her smile and her laugh. She wondered how she could have ever thought she could live without both in her life.

Sakura scooped up the plates and headed for the kitchen while Ino explored the hallway, peeking in through different doorways. Eventually, she came across a room that had to have been the lounge. There was a black, stone, fireplace complete with a crackling fire. A Rinne altar stood in one corner, glittering in red and gold, a small stack of gifts sitting atop it. Squishy looking armchairs dotted the room and parked right in front of the fire was a gorgeous, white, leather couch.

Ino looked down at Kaori and found herself being stared at with stunning green eyes that were frighteningly similar to her masters, Ino found an immediate affection for the little animal.

"I don't know if your mommy lets you on the couch, so you can sit on my lap." Ino said to Kaori while plopping down on the middle cushion of the couch. Kaori sat, very well-behaved, on Ino's lap though she continued looking around and mewling pitifully, obviously wondering where her "mommy" had gone. Ino reached out a finger, that again Kaori tried to attack first, and gently scratched under her chin, her mewls were immediately replaced with a contented pur.

A nerve twinged in Ino's shoulder and she winced, rubbing at the offending site. She wasn't quite sure what she had done to it, but being the type of person that passed out wherever she happened to be in her apartment probably had something to do with it. Ino jumped when Sakura whispered in her ear and as fingertips already glowing with chakra gently prodded at the nerve.

"Right here?" Sakura needed no further direction when Ino groaned, her head lolling to the side to grant better access. With all of the expertise she had, Sakura molded muscle and nerve, undoing knots Ino didn't even know she had. She sank into the couch, ready to melt into a puddle, not even reacting when Sakura carefully slipped her fingers into the neck of Ino's shirt to directly massage the smooth bare skin of her shoulder. Ino let her head fall back, almost ready to doze and looked up at a smiling Sakura.

"Better?" Sakura asked. Ino gave a small exhalation through her nose and smiled.

"You've nearly de-boned me," she replied, "I don't think I've ever felt this loose in my life."

"Oh? Wanna feel looser?" Sakura asked walking around the couch to sit next to Ino and bringing with her a long-necked magnum. "Can I tempt you?" She asked with a near vampiric smile.

"You act like I'm hard to tempt," Ino laughed. Sakura took a small gulp and passed Ino the bottle. Kaori had given a small meow and moved from Ino's lap to Sakura's, rubbing up against Sakura's flat tummy. Ino went to take her swig and nearly choked in surprise.

"Whiskey?" Ino asked as the potent liquor registered on her tongue. "Never pictured you as a whiskey kinda gal, Sakura." Sakura looked up from her snuggle session with Kaori, who was situated in a very desireable part of Sakura's anatomy.

"Yeah, every now and then." They slipped into silence, quietly passing the bottle back and forth. Kaori gave a displeased "Mia", hopped off Sakura's lap, and wandered off in search of something more interesting to do than sit quietly with a pair of drunkards. They could feel it hanging in the air, the proverb in the room. Ino had been dreading this moment from the second she had hung up the phone the previous night. But there was no getting around, especially if she wanted to keep Sakura in her life, even if only as a friend.

"Ino?" Sakura asked finally.

"Mmm?" Ino's stomach knotted, heart fluttering.

"Why?" Was all Sakura had to ask, her voice just above a whisper. Ino opened and closed her mouth several times with nothing to say. She turned to face Sakura, curling one leg up beneath her, Sakura did like-wise.

"Well, it's...difficult to say," Ino began slowly, trying desperately to keep eye contact with her friend and failing miserably. Few knew how to pull off the kicked puppy look as well as Sakura could. The pinket sat with her hands in her lap, picking nervously at a worn down nail, emerald eyes a maelstrom with the emotions swirling through them.

More than willing to blame the whiskey, Ino reached out and gently took one of Sakura's hands in her own. The butterflies shot into overdrive when Sakura twined their fingers together. "I can only say that I was an idiot; a total fucking idiot," Ino muttered, her eyes down as she traced small shapes on the back of Sakura's hand.

"Ino?" Sakura asked quietly.

Ino had hardly enough time to look up before Sakura leaned forward and pressed her lips to Ino's. Ino froze, heart thudding behind her ribs.

"Kiss her back! Kiss her, damn it!" Ino shrieked at herself.

As quickly as Sakura had leaned in, she flinched away like Ino had slapped her when she realized that she was the only participant in the kiss. Sakura covered her mouth and turned away, tears blossoming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Ino barely heard Sakura whisper. Ino reached and gripped Sakura's shoulder.

"Sakura, I-"

"I'm so sorry," Sakura leapt to her feet and moved to leave the room. Ino followed her, catching her at the wrist.

"Sakura, wait!" Ino cried. Sakura stood there before her friend, head down, quivering. Ino shifted her grasp down from Sakuras wrist to her fingers, squeezing gently. Ino placed a few fingers under Sakura's chin and turned her face up. Slowly, green eyes met blue and Ino could see steady streams of tears leaving shiny trails down soft skin. Ino gently cupped Sakura's cheek, brushing tears away with her thumb. Sakura put up no resistance to keep Ino from touching her, instead nuzzling gently against Ino's palm.

"What do you mean by it? Are you drunk?" Ino asked quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer. Sakura shook her head. "Then what does it mean?" Sakura gazed deeply into Ino's eyes, a mixture of sadness and shame upon her beautiful features.

"I...I think I..." Sakura took a shuddering breath "...I love you."

"F-for how long?"

"I don't know, a long time." Sakura began, her voice utterly miserable. "But then you started ignoring me and avoiding me and I thought you had found out and hated me for it. And then...- What's so funny?"

Ino couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard. Sakura stepped out of the embrace, folding her arms stiffly across her chest. She could hardly believe that her best friend was laughing at her most closely guarded secret. She glared as Ino's laughs subsided into hiccups.

"Nothing's funny forehead," Ino coughed out, the first flare of genuine happiness lifting her heart, "Nothing about you. It's me."

"Well then, Pig, care to enlighten me?" Sakura asked, reverting to the old childhood taunt. Ino smiled wide and placed an arm around Sakura's shoulders.

"I would love to, forehead." She drew Sakura in close and pressed her lips to Sakura's cheek and left a trail of soft kisses along her jawline.

"Ino, what are you-" Sakura breathed before Ino placed a finger vertically across her lips, silencing her.

"Shush, forehead," Ino whispered replacing her finger with her lips. Sakura did not freeze like Ino had before, but it took her a second to realize exactly what was happening. She leaned into the kiss and the several feather-soft ones that followed. Ino pulled back and was rewarded by the charming pink Sakura's face had turned.

"You, Ino, you...you're-" Sakura stammered. Ino smiled and brushed a few stray locks of hair away from Sakura's face.

"Yeah, forehead, I love you too." Ino leaned again and was rewarded with a fiery and passionate kiss, a gentle tilt of her head allowed their tongues to dance as their teeth clashed. Without fully realizing how or when, Ino found herself on the couch with Sakura hovering above her.

"This is why I was avoiding - you." Ino explained in between kisses. "It's because I was afraid you'd find - out and that you'd - hate me for it." The separated with a small wet pop, both flush and panting.

"I guess life likes to throw curveballs sometimes, huh?" Sakura asked. Ino huffed out a small laugh, considering every other pitch life had hit her with.

"I guess it does, forehead," Ino murmurred, pulling her new love down for another long and slow kiss.


Ino woke before Sakura the next morning. The bed sheets were tangled around them both and Ino had a hell of a time freeing herself without waking Sakura. Ino almost gave up on the hunt for her panties before finding them hanging from a lampshade. Ino wrote Sakura a quick note after dressing, apologizing to her for allowing her to wake up alone, but she did still have the flower shop to look after. Quietly stealing downstairs, Ino slipped on her coat and let herself out, she was still unable to believe the amount of work her tongue went through last night.

As she pounded down the street, Ino decided that her coat wasn't so bad after all, now that she had a happy memory in it.