Chapter 8 – Explanations
Edward just stared at me, "What do you mean?" I folded my arms, "Please, my dad told me that you left me. Obviously, the public story was that your family moved to L.A. because Carlisle got a better job offer, but the truth was you got bored with a little human, so you left. My dad said the day you left, he had a search party looking for me and a family friend found me in the forest, practically unconscious on the ground. And now, all of a sudden, you see I'm a vampire and bonus, I have amnesia, so I don't remember what you did to me." Edward tried to take my hand, but I pulled away. "Bella, please….." I scowled, "My name is Isabella." Before Edward could speak, there was a knock on my door. I closed my eyes and sighed, "Come in," I answered from behind clinched teeth. "Bella, please, let me explain everything." Alice entered the room, ready to take up for her brother. I half-smiled in sarcasm, "Fine. I want to hear this." She looked up at him, "Leave us alone, Edward." Edward left the room without protest. Alice looked back at me, "Ok, first, what else did Charlie tell you?" "He told me that you and I were really close. I think he still misses you. Also, that you threw me an 18th birthday party and for some unknown reason, I didn't want to celebrate my birthday." Alice smiled a bit, "Ok, sit down." I stood rigidly and she pushed me onto my bed.
She perched herself next to me on the bed, "Ok, it was my fault. I should have listened to you when you said you didn't want any attention for your birthday. But our family hasn't celebrated a birthday since the 30's and that was for Emmett. Emmett and Rosalie even came home early to come to your party. That night, while you were opening your presents…." She looked away and there was another knock on my door. Alice looked at the door, "Come in, Jasper." I looked at him as he came to stand by the bed, "Bella, this whole thing is my fault. If I weren't so weak." I looked between them, "What happened?" Jasper took my hand, "I've wanted to apologize to you since that night. But Edward wouldn't let me near you. Bella, I should have been stronger." My eyes grew wider, "Jasper, what are you talking about? It doesn't matter now, but please just tell me." "When you were opening one of your gifts, you got a paper cut and a drop of your blood was exposed. When you were human, your blood had an amazing scent and I was still adjusting to drinking animal blood. But smelling your exposed blood, I lost it completely and I tried to attack you." Jasper leaned his head on my hand, "Bella, I am so sorry." I tried to comfort him, but Alice continued the explanation, "In trying to protect you from Jasper, Edward pushed you with too much force, knocking you into the fall on you fell on broken glass, cutting your arm. It took Rosalie and Emmett to get Jasper outside and Carlisle treated your arm. After Edward took you home, I had a vision of him leaving you. I protested it, but Edward said that we were putting your life in too much danger. He also made me promise that I would not search for your future. That cut me even deeper. Besides myself and Emmett, everyone voted that it would be better for you if we left your life. Carlisle saw how much it pained Edward to leave you, but he also saw that Edward was making a tremendous sacrifice on his part. It pained Esme, because to her, it was like she losing one of her children, but she did not vote against Carlisle. Jasper voted," she caressed his face, "voted that we leave because he did not want to put you in more danger. It took him so long to forgive himself. As for Rosalie, at the time, she didn't care much for you."
I nodded, "Yea, my dad did mention that. He made it seem like she was just a protective big sister." Alice nodded, "Yea, she thought Edward was putting us all in danger by letting a human in on our family's secret. So, she voted that we leave because she wanted our lives to return to normal. Emmett didn't want to leave because he really liked. Emmett saw you as a younger sister. You two had a very playful relationship. And I didn't want to leave because you were my best friend. I saw it when you first came to Forks. After Edward saved you from being killed in a car accident, I saw it. I saw you as a vampire, being Edward's mate. I had two more visions of you and me as best friends. In one, you were still human and in the other, I saw you as a vampire, but in both, we were like sisters." I shook my head, "Ok. First thing," I turned to Jasper, "stop beating yourself up. I was a temptation, but you didn't hurt me." He closed his eyes, "Bella, if there is anything I can do for you……" "I will let you know and that will be the end of it." Jasper smiled and kissed my forehead, "Of course. I'll leave you two alone now." I looked back at Alice, "So, what happened after you left." "We came here. You know, we always come here when we are planning our next move. But it was awful. Edward stayed in his room for days turning into weeks, not speaking to anyone. The family fought about what we could do to help him. After a few days, I went into his room and found him on the floor and he was like a ghost. His face was worn and his eyes were black. When he looked at me, his face was grief-stricken. He barely spoke above a whispered and practically fell on me, when I sat next to him. The way he looked, I couldn't let the family see him like that. So, Jasper and I took him hunting. He barely moved, so I put him over my shoulder and leapt out the window."
"Jasper took down an animal for him, but Edward's arrogance returned minutely and he hunted for himself. Soon, he left on his own for years. He just returned a few weeks ago, thanks to mine and Emmett's persuasion. But Bella, please, do not think that you being a vampire is more "convenient" for him. Seeing you here after all these years, he didn't care what you were, as long as you were here. I saw it. When we saw your picture on the mantle, my excitement was second to his. When we heard the car coming, I want to run out to see you, but I knew he would beat me. Bella, please do not be mad at him. No, we shouldn't have left you, but Edward's main concern was your protection. After what happened with James, he couldn't put your life in danger." I held up my hands, "Whose James?" She sighed, "A tracker who tried to kill." My eyes widened, "What?" Alice explained about what happened when James and his coven encountered me with the Cullens. I was his most fun prize, to try and kill a human that was important to a coven as large as the Cullens. Jasper and Alice went with me to Phoenix and Edward got me away from the tracker, but he had bit me. Edward drew the venom out of my system, keeping me human.
Alice told me everything from what happened after we got back, up until my birthday party. She and I laughed at the memories and some of mine returned on their own. I remembered being upset as Alice dressed me for the prom and the times she wanted to take me shopping for new school clothes. "Bella, please, Edward was trying to do the right thing. And you were right, if we were there, you would not have gotten into your accident. Please, don't be mad at him. Believe it or not, Edward loves you very much and it was difficult for him to go through these years without you. Seeing you here now, Edward is as alive as he was when he was with you." I closed my eyes, "I believe you. I mean, part of e is still upset that he was able to leave me so easily, but I understand why he did it." "Bella, it wasn't easy for him. He told me it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do." "Ok, I believe you…. again." I got up off the bed and went to my dresser and took up my box, "I wanted to open this with Edward, but will you………" Alice shook her head, "No, that's for you and Edward." I leaned my head back and groaned, "Fine."
She bounded off the bed, "Trust me, Bella, once you get past this, you and Edward will be so happy again." Alice danced out of my room. I laid down on my bed and hummed to myself. The box sat on the bed, next to my head. Knock, knock, knock. "Come in." I inhaled deeply, "Why am I not surprised?" Opening my eyes, Edward leaning against my door. "Where did you get that song?" I sat up, "Umm, it just came to me one day. I was sitting by my window and this song came to me. My sisters can tell you, I always hum it. Whenever I need to think or upset, it just comforts me." He flashed to the bed and opened the box, "Hang on." He took something out and went to my stereo, "I made you this for your birthday." A song began to play and it was the one I hummed. My eyes widened, "You made this?" I looked back at me, "I wrote you this song. When I first realized I was in love with you, I used to sneak into your bedroom window at night and watched you sleep." "Stalker," I muttered under my breath. "Emmett said that too, but while I watched you sleep, a song formed in my mind and I composed it for you. I called it "Bella's Lullaby." Whenever I would stay with you and you knew I was there, I would hum the song to you so that you could sleep."
I stood up, "What else is in there?" He sat on the edge of the bed, "Pictures of us and the other gifts from your birthday." I took up a picture and it was of me and Edward. Once again, I saw myself with brown eyes. "When was this taken?" "During the summer. You and I went to Port Angeles." Edward told me about that day. For the rest of the night, he told me everything about our relationship. From the swimming in the river behind his house, to going to Seattle, I saw how much Edward did love me. We spoke until dawn in my bedroom. "Alright, I need more time to think about things, but I will say I'm not mad for why you left. I know it wasn't easy for you, but what did you do?" Edward placed his hand on mine, "Nothing. All I did was think about you." I leaned my face into his neck, "I'm more than sure that was all I did." Edward brushed my hair back, "I am so sorry that I failed you. I'm so sorry. Bella, I only left because I wanted you to have a long happy life." I looked up at him, "Well, my life is now much longer than either of us thought." He smiled, "That's true." I leaned away from him, "I need to hunt." I went to my door and looked back, "Are you coming?" He looked up at me, "Of course." Edward and I ran out into the night and hunted together, for I was sure, not the last time.
