Chapter 2 – Newborn

My first meal was quite unorthodox. I refused to drain the human that was brought for me. It was a boy about my age. His heart race and I heard every lush thump of the blood through his veins. The fear around him made it irresistible. He smelled like the most delicious food, but I held back. The human wrangler, Heidi was surprised the boy was still alive. "For a newborn, you're very tamed."

She took him and bit him herself. Taking a knife, she slit his wrist and let his blood pour out into a wine glass. "It's the Cullens' way of life. You want to live that way?" She handed me the glass. "Yes, I don't want to hurt people." She stared for a moment, "Bella, we don't simply hurt people. This is what we are. Survival of the fittest, cara mia." (my dear) She made a face, looking at the bottle of blood, "Come with me tonight. I will show you how I hunt."

Since I became a vampire, I hadn't left the tower. Heidi assured me that she could keep me under control. My thirst was getting to me and I consumed the blood in the glass. It wasn't enough. She and I walked out into the night and the air was so clean. Here was a slight scent of flowers in the air. The wind was coming in from the north, from the Riserva Naturale Montenero. There, thousands of flowers grew, bloomed and thrived. Heidi and I left the city, running south to the Riserva Naturale Foresta di Berignone. Getting closer, a scent hit me and I wanted to get away from it.

Heidi slowed to a stop, "Well, this is a nature preserve. Plenty of animals to choose from. Try your hunting skills." Doing what she said, I ran through the trees looking for prey. There, near the water, was a large black bear. Its scent made me wrinkle my nose, but the sound of its heart pumping its lush blood drew me closer. Lunging at the animal, my teeth sunk into its hide. The blood was warm, but it wasn't good. My eyes closed as I tried to endure the taste, but I couldn't.

The blood ran down my throat and I groaned from the taste. The bear laid on the ground dead. I took in more blood than I thought. At least it was dead. Didn't need a vampire bear tearing up the countryside. Heidi found me, "Well?" She was smug; must have seen the spectacle. I couldn't hide my chagrin, "Well, I tried it their way."

My hand reached to her, "Now, let me try it your way." She handed me a bottle of blood. The scent of it was right and warm. The bloodlust took over and I couldn't fight it. The blood was delicious. It washed away the taste of the bear's blood. Heidi smiled, "Well, no one can say you didn't try, but the blood, human blood wins out in the end."

How right she was. I thought about Jasper and how he wanted my blood on my birthday. The hole in my chest rang with pain and my arm wrapped around me. Heidi thought it was from the bear's blood, "Come, let's get you more. You're still young." Heidi and I ran further south to a more active city. There were some people in the streets as Heidi and I walked. The mixture of scents was almost overwhelming.

Some were repulsive smelling human food. Others were sweet, as the people sat to enjoy their meals. My eyes whirled taking in all the scents. The humans themselves smelled irresistible. Heidi cleared her throat, "Calm yourself, Bella. Soon." She guided me to a dark alley. It reminded me of that night in Port Angeles, when I was almost attacked. Only this time, I was the attacker, not the victim. Heidi leaned against the alley wall, "I can understand your hesitation of killing a human. You still have most of your humanity within you. So," she looked down the alley to the darkness, "You will hunt those who mean harm to others."

Her blood red eyes looked into the dark and inhaled deeply, "One's close." She moved quickly, taking my jacket. She revealed my sleeveless blouse, showing the skin of my arms. She smiled at me, "I want you to look very innocent, almost like you're lost." Very much like in Port Angeles. I realized what I was hunting men who attack innocent women. I walked out of the alley, hearing the boisterous laughter of three men. Heidi pushed against my back, "Go, they will follow you."

Listening to Heidi, I walked out of the alley, towards the men. I let my eyes soften as I looked up at them as I passed. "Ciao signorina," (Hello miss) one of the men said. Like I did in Port Angeles, I answered with one word, "Hello." My human pace quickened, walking away from them. Just like Heidi said, they followed me. The three men wheeled to follow after me; an easy target. From above, Heidi followed along the rooftops. "Go around the next corner. I'll meet you there." She sped ahead and I saw the corner she meant.

The men whispered as they pursued me. One called out to me, and still pretending to be unaware of them, I looked back and walked faster towards the corner. Their pace quickened into a run. Heidi leapt to the ground, catching herself on the balls of her feet. She was smiling, "You were very convincing." The three men found us. "Oh, ha una amica." (Oh, she has a friend.) Heidi played her part, "Per favore, non ci duole." (Please, don't hurt us.) The other two men blocked off the mouth of an alley, as the leader stalked toward us. He spoke in perfect Italian, but he was cut off as Heidi pushed into the wall. My vivid red eyes turned toward them.

The other two tried to run, but I leapt in front of them. Taking down the blond man, the other was frozen in fear. The sweet sustenance flowed down my throat, warming my body. The other was being held against the wall by Heidi. He was pleading for his life. She spoke to him in a soothing voice. She turned to look at me, then back to him.

She shrugged and gestured for me to come closer. Cutting his wrist, she stretched his arm out to me. The scent of his blood made the venom in my mouth overflow. I didn't want to kill him, but my instincts were in control. My teeth tore into his skin and warmth flowed into me. His racing heart pumped the blood even faster, finishing him off sooner.

My breathing became gasping as I took in what I just did. I just murdered two people. My teeth chattered quietly and my eyes pricked in a strange way. It was the reaction of wanting to cry, but I had no tears. Heidi looked at me, "It's difficult in the beginning. It will get better." I looked at her, "How?" She looked down to the corpses at our feet, "It's been so long for me, that I couldn't tell you. It's different for everyone." Taking out a small bottle, she flicked it open and poured the contents on the ground. "Get out of here," she ordered.

I walked out of the alley, ashamed of what I did. I walked back the way he came, refusing to even breathe. Heidi was at my side in a moment, with the faint scent of smoke on her. Looking back, billows of smoke came from the alley we were just in. She had set the bodies on fire.

Back in Volterra, Aro tried to console me, but it didn't work. Being a vampire wasn't a concern for me. The concern was the preferred diet among the Guard. "Turn it off." Felix stood with me as I stood on the roof. "Turn off what?" He looked down at me, "Your emotions." We were standing at the edge of the building looking over the city below. "How do I do that?" He smirked at me, "Close your eyes." I looked at him scathingly.

I was part of the Volturi for a few weeks now and I've heard plenty of stories about Felix and other members. He preferred to use his prey before killing them. Aro asked Felix to watch me during my newborn months. He was asked to train me on how to control myself.

He smiled wider, showing his snowy white teeth, "Just close your eyes." I closed my eyes and my mind surged. Without my sight, all my senses were much stronger, even more than they already were. The wind blew and brought with it many appealing scents. I could smell the scent coming off Felix; it was reminiscent of fresh cut wood. He stood behind me, "Now, look through your mind when you think about the humans you kill." I found it instantly. The images of the fear in their eyes, the last screams of protest before my teeth sliced into their skin.

"Now," Felix's voice was hypnotic, just by my ear, "build a wall around it." Making the wall into a literal image, the bricks formed around those images, making my eyes shot open, "Wow!" My conscious was clear, "It worked." The terrified expression of the men I killed was gone. The fear in their eyes didn't haunt me anymore.

He smiled down at me. While I built my wall, Felix had moved to stand right behind me. His chest was against my back as he breathed. "That's what you do until it doesn't bother you anymore." I looked up at him. Felix towered over me. Before, he was intimidating, but now, it was appealing. Thinking of Felix's physical build reminded me of Emmett. Thinking of Emmett brought on the thoughts of his brother.

This wasn't the life as a vampire I wanted. But, then again, my change didn't happen the way I wanted. I looked away from Felix and leaned against the wall, looking over the edge. "Something wrong?" My head shook involuntarily, "This just wasn't how I wanted it to be."

Felix folded his arms, "Well, what did you want? To be a part of the Cullens when you were changed." I breathed out a long breath, "Yes. Can you blame me? I had my best friend, wonderful secondary parents. Brothers that made me laugh." "A someone who ripped your heart out," Felix added harshly. I looked at him, "Do you like reminding me of that?"

I walked past Felix to stand on the other side of the roof. His closeness was making me nervous. The sun was coming up in the distance, painting the sky a pale pink-gray. "You still think about him, don't you?" I nodded. I thought about him too much. He left for me to get away from this world and I was thrown back into it. "Then go find him." I looked at Felix, wondering if her was serious. He watched me, "Go, you have all the time in the world to find him." My eyes pricked, "He doesn't want me anymore."

Felix crossed the roof to stand next to me again, "Yes, when you were human. You're a vampire now. A member of the Guard. You're stronger than you were. Go get him." Was he right? Should I go find Edward? Show him what I've become.

My head shook, pushing away those thoughts, "No. It won't change anything. When he sees me again, he'll see that I'm no longer the girl I was when he left, but it doesn't mean that it'll change anything." Felix smirked, "Only time can tell." I folded my arms, "Isn't it time for my fight training?" He shrugged out of his jacket, "If you want. I could use a workout." Underneath his jacket, Felix wore a light colored shirt. The material clung to his arms and chest. It took me a moment to tear my eyes away from the definition.

Felix was a great teacher. He was patient, but he would push me to do better. "Come on, Bella. You can do better than that." He had me pinned to the ground. I was trying to kick him behind his legs, but his hand caught me and slammed into the floor. The stone chipped away from our fight. "You'll just win again." He smiled at me, "I may let you win, if you try hard enough." A coy smile came across his lips and I pushed him away.

Felix and I practiced for hours as the morning went into the afternoon. Felix had me against the wall with one arm, "You did well today." My feet fell onto the floor as he let me down. Demetri and Afton came onto the roof, "How is your newborn, Felix?" Afton's voice was cold and hard as he came towards us. I turned my head to the side, trying to loosen the stiffness. Felix picked up his jacket, "Bella is doing well." Demetri looked at me. He wasn't thrilled that I was made into a vampire, but he was coming around. The three of them stood together. I tried to ignore their stares as I pulled my hair into a ponytail.

I slipped away as they began their discussion. I found myself giving Felix a long look before I disappeared downstairs. In my bed chamber, I ran the water in my shower. Fighting with Felix was messy work, but I liked it. I needed to be trained and channel my extra energy. The fighting didn't tire me out, physically. It just made me want to slow down for a while. My human habits hadn't faded yet, but they would soon.

The water ran down my skin, washing away the dust and rubble. Looking through the water, everything wasn't as distorted as they would have been through my human eyes. It was still clear, just in ripples. I could still make out the details of the tiles and water fixtures. My head buzzed with several thoughts all at the same time. Should I go find the Cullens? Should I let them see what I had become? Another part of my vast mind thought about the fighting techniques Felix taught me. They are necessary for me to become a good fighter. Being around the Guard, the members competed with others constantly.

It reminded me of high school. They were cliques, the good and the bad. I didn't know which one I was part of. Heidi and Felix were the kindest ones toward me, but Jane hated me. Alec was cordial and he would sometimes help Felix in my fight training. Next, I would have to learn to develop my ability. Aro claims that I am a shield, a very powerful one. He left it to Alec and Chelsea to train me on how to use it. For the next few weeks, all I was going to be doing was training.