Chapter 5 – Moving On
Felix and I took our time going back to Volterra. We traveled back on foot, seeing the parts of the world that humans practically forgot about. In these parts, the weather was too severe for humans to survive. He and I ran through the hazardous land. Felix was getting frustrated from thirst. His eyes were fading to black. I sighed, "Next town, you can terrorize everyone." He laughed for a moment, then his voice changed, "Bella, you know you shouldn't have intervened when Jane attacked me." I looked at him, "How could I not?" His fingers intertwined with mine, then I was in his arms. He didn't break his stride as he held me, "I appreciate you helping me but that is how Jane is. I don't want her mad at you."
"So, I'm supposed to let Jane hurt you, when she's not even the leader. If it were Aro, Caius or Marcus, then I won't interfere but I'm not letting that girl hurt you because she heard something she didn't like." Felix stopped and the hazardous winds blew furiously around us, "Bella, that is how it is in the Guard." I bit my lip, "You purposely harm each other and compete with one another, for what? If you turn on each other, how can you enforce the laws effectively?" We stared at each other. "It's just how we are." My head shook, letting some of the wind into my hood, "Well, as long as I'm here, no one is going to hurt you." I tightened my hold around his neck, "Now, let's go terrorize some townsfolk."
Felix kissed my cheek, "Finally, some fun." In the next town, he picked off a man out hunting and he graciously shared his prey with me. "You're so sweet to share with me." Felix laughed, "You're the only one I've done that with. But don't tell anyone." In the distance, the sun was coming up and we had to find a place to hide. I broke into someone's house. Mercifully, no one was home, so no one had to die.
The sun broke over the horizon and its rays glinted off the snow and my skin. The settled snow reminded me of home. Thoughts of Forks brought back my worries of Charlie, Renee and Phil. What were they doing now? Felix was silent as I watched the sun through the window. He stood with me, looking at the window himself. Was he going to say the sunrise was boring? With my stronger eyes, I could see the individual rainbows that dance in each of the rays.
Felix then closed the curtains and kissed my hair. "You look so sexy in the sun," his lips were just at my ear. I smiled and he turned my body, to press his lips to mine. I knew there was another reason he wanted to travel alone with me. He didn't want to go back to sharing me just yet. Felix was a virile lover. His body moved with mine, always keeping me close. His strong hands held my waist, moving back and forth.
My fingers dug into the furniture, out of passion. The material felt like nothing as my nails tore through it. Felix was very powerful and I wanted more. I knew I didn't love Felix, but I cared about him. He pulled back to look at me. The both of us were gasping for air. He leaned down and rested his head on my chest and his arms were tight around me. Could I come to love him? Was he able to love me? Did I want him to love me?
We laid together, until the sun was down. "Time to go," he stated pulling me up into a standing position. I made a face, "Do we have to go?" He pursed his lips, "Well, I could just kill the owners of the house and we could…." "Ok, let's go," I spoke quickly, cutting him off. He and I ran to the nearest airport and flew back to Volterra. Aro was happy to see us and was curious about our detour. Aro took Felix's hand and bowed his head as he took in Felix's memories.
After a moment, Aro looked at me. Aro's fingers brushed my face, "I'm sorry you had to endure that. But Alec was right; your human family must believe that you're gone." I nodded and walked away silently. In my chamber, my mind drifted back to my father.
I thought about something, but part of me didn't want to know, but another part had to know. Checking the internet, I began to search. I found what I needed to know. That, with heavy hearts, my parents had me declared dead. That tore through me, but I had to go on. There were pictures from my funeral. My eyes pricked and my breath hitched in my throat from a tearless sob. My sob build as the pictures showed my friends saddened by my disappearance. One article stated my mother had to be taken to the local hospital, because she fainted at the service. Looking at one picture, my eyes widened and I instinctively moved closer to the monitor.
In the picture there were the familiar, beautiful faces of the Cullen family. Alice was holding Edward's hand, while the other one was covering his eyes. Esme was leaning her head on Carlisle's shoulder, with her face crumpled with despair. Rosalie's face was sad with her eyes closed. Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper stood still, their faces solemn. Alice was wearing dark sunglasses, but her features showed her sadness.
It made me wonder why she hadn't seen me yet. She told me that she saw vampires the best because she is one. But I couldn't think about that now. There was a picture of Charlie, with Billy. He was sitting, staring at the memorial that was made for me. Jacob stood behind Billy with red eyes. I couldn't see anymore, so I flipped the switch for the monitor. These pictures were unbearable. My mother in the hospital sickened with grief. Charlie was in shock from all of this. Angela, Jessica, Mike, Tyler…. Alice.
My sob increased until I was crying without tears. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them, crying. The pain of this was much stronger than I thought. From seeing my parents distraught to seeing Alice and Edward in pain, this was the worst thing I've ever endured. Even though he didn't love me anymore, he must still care enough to at least attend my funeral. Seeing Esme in pain was much worse than the others. Despite Edward's feelings, I knew Esme still cared. This must be horrible for her.
Heidi came in finding me, "What is it?" Her voice was frantic. I couldn't answer her, not yet. Without looking, I turned on the monitor to show her. She patted my head while reading quietly. This motion wasn't patronizing, it was comforting. It reminded me of my mom when she did the same whenever I was upset. "Bella, I'm so sorry." Felix came into the room and saw me. "What happened to her?" He knelt down beside me, holding my face. "This is why she's upset." Heidi turned the monitor for Felix. He read quickly as he held my face, "Bella…" I shook my head, "Don't ask me to build one, because I can't." My voice was strained with grief, "Not around this. My mom had to go to a hospital."
My voice was trembling, as another sob threatened to burst out. He pulled me into him, "It's all right." Heidi turned off the computer and left us alone. Felix stayed where he was, crouched down with me in his arms. He held me until I was able to control myself. "Are you going to be all right?" I nodded silently, still unable to speak. Seeing my mom and Esme is such pain because of me was excruciating.
It was hard to believe, but I was always stronger than my mom. When Gran died, she cried hysterically and I did the best I could to comfort her and I was 10 years old. Felix stayed with me until it was time to feed. In the antechamber, humans were brought in and I fed silently. Aro asked about my somber demeanor and Felix explained everything. They didn't speak. Aro saw Felix's memories. Aro was kinder than most people thought. Knowing it was painful for me, Aro allowed me time away from Volterra. "You need this time for yourself to heal, young one."
Refusing to look at my computer, I lounged on my bed, trying not to think about Charlie. He must be alone in the house again. What was he doing know? It would be so easy to find out, but I couldn't. It would be so easy to pick up my phone and call him. To call Renee and let them know I'm alive and well. The urge to call my parents was all I could think about. I just wanted them to know I was fine. But I couldn't. Aro would kill me, literally, if I contacted my parents and there would be nothing Felix could do to stop them.
If I contacted them, it would put Felix in jeopardy too. In their eyes, I was still his responsibility. A pillow plopped own over my face as I tried to dispel the urges. My mom had Phil to comfort her and she was still young enough to have another child, but Charlie. Charlie was alone again. He spent the last eighteen years missing my mom and seeing me several times a year. He was genuinely was happy that I came to live with him.
But with all the hell I put him through; maybe it would have been better if I never went to Forks. Right now, I would be getting ready to go to college in a warm environment, not suffering from a broken heart. I would be talking to Charlie about my college plans on our yearly vacations in California. But then, Charlie and I wouldn't be as close as we got when I went to live with him.
My body turned over and took the copy of 'Frankenstein' and turned to where I left off. The monster rose from its slab, taking its first steps. Since I was a monster now, it seemed practically to learn about the other monsters that haunted the world. I wondered if there was a grave robber that thought they could reanimate a corpse. My ankles twisted in the air as I read. It was a bit difficult hearing the sounds of the others in the tower.
The numerous conversations, the sounds of shoes resonating off the walls and so many other things; it was a lot of block out. How did they learn to focus on one thing? It didn't feel right to just focus on one thing. My instincts told me to keep my ears open, in case of danger. The book did hold some of my interest, being that I never read it before.
I tried to ignore the sounds of familiar footsteps coming down the hall. My shoulder rotated as I returned my focus to the book. My door opened smoothly and the footsteps were even louder as they came into my bedroom. I didn't let my eyes lift from the same sentence I re-read for the tenth time. My ankles locked around each other, trying to keep myself still. Cool lips pressed into the back of my shoulder, "Are you trying to ignore me?" I shook my head, "No, I just wanted to read."
"Why don't I believe you?" His finger was under my chin before he finished his sentence, to press his lips to mine. The book was thrown into the chair in the corner of the bedroom. Felix's arms were around me, "I was thinking we should get out of here for a while." My skin creased between my eyebrows, "To where?" Felix kissed me again, "A surprise. I have something I want to talk to you about." "Couldn't you ask me here?"
He groaned and held my ankle, pulling me across the bed into his body. He leaned over me, extending his arm onto the mattress, "Will you come with me?" His scarlet eyes pleaded with me. How does he do that? When he wanted to be, Felix was very persuasive. "All right, I'll go. Isn't there anyone else who could go with you?" He rolled his eyes, "Excuse me, but last time I checked, you were mine and I want to have you alone." I rolled my eyes, "So, I'm your girlfriend?" He rolled his eyes at the modern day term. I never thought of Felix as merely a 'boyfriend.' The term 'boy' did not apply to Felix. He's been a man for centuries.
The term 'girlfriend' did apply to me though. I was a girl compared to the years Felix lived. "Look, little one." I scoffed, "Little one?" He laughed, "Compared to me, you are little." I laughed at the term, as true as it was. Felix's 6'7" towered my 5'4" height. His arm was thicker than my waist. When Felix held me, I was buried into the indentation of his chest. He had to lean down just to kiss the top of my head. Maybe 'little one' wouldn't be so bad of a nickname. My feet often left the floor when he kissed me.
Felix pulled me off the bed, into his embrace. "When are we leaving?" He looked down, "When you pack." I glowered at him, "So you already planned this? What if I said I didn't want to go?" Felix leaned over me, "I would have gotten my way. You know that." He looked into my eyes; his stare melted away my suspicions. "All right," my voice was flat under his stare and he chuckled, "See?" I nudged him as I went to pack my bag.
