Chapter 8 – Games
My feet guided me to my bedchamber without having to seeing where I was going. The hornets were relentless with their buzzing. Nothing made sense. Grasping to reality, my mind went over the last few months. Demetri, Felix, Jane and Alec came to my house looking for the Cullens, but they left months before their arrival. I was living in Volterra and married to Felix. I saw Alice and she and Esme hugged me when they saw I was alive.
Emmett's back-breaking hug was real. Edward was real. Rosalie, Carlisle and Jasper were real. But not what they told me, that wasn't real. I knew in my mind, this was all denial and it was the best protection I had. Someone passed me; Jane and Alec. I didn't see them, more so, I sensed them. Being in Volterra for this long, I was getting more adaptive. I felt stronger in so many ways; physically, emotionally and mentally. But hearing this, knowing the truth about Edward, it set me right back to the zombie I once was. I couldn't go back to that. I couldn't let Felix see me this way.
Quick, quiet footsteps were coming behind me and they were slowing. Two hands held my shoulders and guided me into my chamber. A dull taste was on my tongue from this person, Chelsea. She closed the door and sat me on the couch. My eyes didn't register anything that passed. My brain buzzed with the jumbled mess of images, words and feelings. Chelsea waited for me to speak. My mind could only come up with one thing, "He lied." The words echoed in the emptiness of my mind. My eyes began to work again; Chelsea and Alice were sitting on the couch opposite me. When did Alice get in here?
"He lied to me. He's lied before and I understand why he did, but not this time. There's no excuse." I was starting to ramble, "How can I forgive him?" An emotion between pain and rage was starting to grow within me. Chelsea leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, "You don't have to face him, you know?" Alice leaned forward too, "Bella, he thought he was doing the right thing. You know how Edward can get when he has an idea in his head." I wasn't angry with Alice for taking up for her brother, but I was still mad.
"Alice, do you know what it was like? It was hell." Her face crumpled, making Chelsea turn toward her, "I know. I saw you. That's when he asked me to not look for your future. According to him, we meddled in your life enough." Alice's voice hitched, "I was losing my best friend." Chelsea rubbed Alice's shoulder, "So it wasn't just him losing someone?" The two of them continued their conversation for another moment.
Alice claimed that I was the first friend she had in decades. She had Rosalie, but as a sister. To have someone as a friend was something hadn't had in a long time. Alice was most anxious for Edward and me to have a relationship, because she was looking forward to the friendship she and I would share. I realize that it wasn't just losing Edward that almost killed me. It was losing a whole family. My best friend, the big brother I always wanted and the nurturing mother I missed; it was all so painful. The hornets stung at every fiber of my being. My body was fine, but my mind was shattered.
"Can I be alone, please?" Two sets of eyes looked at me. Chelsea got up, but Alice didn't budge. Chelsea held the door open, "I'll be around if you want to talk." I nodded and feigned a smile, "Thanks." My eyes met honey colored eyes, "Alice, please? I want to be alone." She just stared, "Bella, don't be mad. He thought…." My rage was setting its sights on Alice and I didn't want that. She had to go, "Alice, please!" I begged through gritted teeth. She shook her head, "All right." She stood up and left me alone.
My arms folded, trying to slow my trembling. My head rested on my knees, trying to keep my body together. The truth still echoed in my mind and the hollowness in my chest was making me fall apart. I needed something to make me feel better; someone. I needed my husband. Where was Felix? Just as I thought of him, the door opened and Felix entered. His stance took up the entire doorframe. He looked at me, taking in my face. I half-ran into his arms and he held me, "What happened? Did he hurt you?" My eyes closed, leaning against his chest. Felix's arms felt like the safest place in the world. His embrace drove away all the pain.
No one had any idea how deeply Edward hurt me. "No," I answered blankly. Fingers combed through my hair, "If he hurt you…." I shook my head, "He didn't. I just needed you." He leaned down to kiss the top of my head, "Then I'm right here." His kiss burned through me in a soothing way. I know I don't love Felix, but he knew how to make me feel better. I loved being held by him and listening to his breathing come and go.
His arms loosened their hold, but he didn't release me. He took my hand and had me sit down on the couch with him. "What did he say?" My mouth mashed into a hard line, "Don't ask. It'll just make you mad." That was the last thing anyone needed; Felix enraged and his target would be Edward. I might be hurt, but Edward didn't deserve to be stalked by Felix. He drew in a long breath, "All right. But you must let me know if he or anyone hurt you. I can't stand to see you in pain."
I smiled and leaned into kiss him. He held me there, keeping our lips together. I giggled under the kiss, "Let go." The words were muffled. "No," he responded. I pushed at his shoulders, "Stop." I tried to stand up, but he pulled me into his lap, his lips still on mine. I moaned, "Felix." I tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he mistook the motion. He moaned quietly, his fingers moving down. I broke the kiss, "Oh no. Not now." Sometimes, it seemed that he had a one track mind. Well, he was a man and I was his wife.
He chuckled darkly, "You escaped before. I said I was going to get you." I laughed quietly as his hand grazed up the skin of my back. "Nope," I said firmly, but my voice broke, "Later." His scarlet eyes rolled, "Fine." He stood up with me in his arms. He kissed me again as he put me down. I don't know how he did it, but I felt a lot better. The hole was gone, taking its aching away. My own happiness grew, thinking of my haphazard wedding day. The way he smiled at me was unforgettable.
I was going to regret this, "I think we should have the party." He looked at me, taken aback to what I just said, "Are you sure?" My fingers trailed up his arm, feeling the smoothness of his skin, "Yes. We're married. That is cause for celebrating. Besides, you'll look so handsome in a tuxedo." He laughed, "And you in a white dress would be the loveliest sight." That would be a shock, seeing myself in a white wedding dress. "Then, we can have a wedding night again." His arms pulled me up, leaving the floor below, "My little mind reader."
Seeing that I agreed to the party, Alice was already taking over on getting things ready. The rooftop was a quiet refuge from the tower. "No, no, no," Alice's trilling voice came from the hall below, "I want it over there." She ordered around the lower level Guard members in decorating. My hand rested on my chest, feeling sorry for those working with her. Alice was a tornado all in herself, as she decorated everything. She had an exact vision on what she wanted.
I sat outside, away from the frantic voice of my best friend. Emmett lowered himself next to me, draping his arm over my shoulders. "So, you're staying? All of you?" "Yea, we're staying. Can't miss a family wedding." Emmett and I turned to look at each other in perfect synchronization. There was no tension, no anger between us; the two of us only smiled. "So," he dragged out the word, "you and Felix, huh?"
My smile broke, "Yes, me and Felix." Emmett was silent, trying not to ask the questions that were buzzing in his head. The silence was getting uncomfortable. "Emmett, just ask. It's not like you to avoid things." He laughed and it rippled through him. "Well, it's just that Felix doesn't seem the type of guy for you." A small smile curved my lips, "I know. You're not the only one to question our relationship. We're complete opposites, but we work. He really…"
I couldn't complete the sentence. I don't know how to. "Anyway, what have you been up to?" Emmett's amber eyes narrowed into slits, "Don't try to change the subject, B." I glowered in return, "Well, what else is there? I married Felix and your brother lied to me. I am sorry that you thought I was dead. What else do you want me to say?" My tone was harsh.
We stared at each other for a long time. He broke first, laughing out loud. I laughed too. "So, the kitty finally got some claws," Emmett said through his laughter. My elbow nudged him as he hugged me. "I missed you, Isabella." I rolled my eyes and kissed his cheek, "I missed you too, Emmy." He scoffed a throaty sound, "I hate it when you call me that."
Alice fell back into her old habits of trying to dress me. She was practically bouncing when wedding gowns were sent to my chamber to try on. She was closing the zipper of the dress I was trying on. "Don't worry about it, Bella," she said quickly. I wanted to apologize to Alice for snapping at her. "Alice, I really…." She cut me off, not letting me finish, "I understand, Bella. It was a lot to absorb." She tugged at the neckline of the gown, "And you know me, I just don't listen." She walked around to appraise the gown, tapping her chin with her index finger, "I'm not wild about this one. It does nothing for you."
The gown had long lace sleeves, with a high open neck. I selected this gown because it was the most modest. Before I could see myself in the mirror, the zipper was done and she selected another gown. Alice went through the endless selections of white dresses, "No, these are boring." Fabrics of white flew through the air as she flung the gowns she didn't like. Some were ball gowns, mermaid cuts, form-fitting, short to long hems gowns.
My room looked like a bridal shop had exploded. I wondered idly how many shops they came from. Gowns hung from anything that was still in the room. Seeing all the gossamer, fluffy dresses was enough to make my head spin, even with all this extra room to process things. Alice had me try on every single dress she liked and made me model in it. She was holding up a gown against my body, comparing it to the form fitting one I was wearing. She and I spoke as we did before. She found out about her past. She was readying to visit her hometown, when she learned of my fake death.
"Bella?" Felix's voice came through the door. Alice quickly pushed me into the closet and locked me in. "Felix, you can't see her in her dress!" The door opened, "Well, where is she?" "In the closet," I responded, thoroughly annoyed, "She's locked me in because I'm wearing a dress." Quick air passed and something rattled the doorknob. He could rip the door off its hinges, taking the woodwork with it. Alice moved to stand between him and the door, "At least let her change out of her dress." There was a brief silence, "Fair enough."
I was already out of the gown and in a pair of jeans and sweater while they were speaking. A big fluff of white rested on the floor, "Ok, Alice. Can I get out now?" The lock clicked and light shined on my face as the door was widened enough for me to step out. Felix held my waist and I laughed lightly, "It's fine. It's just when it comes to parties and weddings, Alice is very…." I had to think about the word, "She's a perfectionist." He nodded once. Alice was already inside, placing the dress on a hanger. "Heidi's coming."
Alice poked her head out of the closet door, "Hurry back. We still have to make a decision." Felix looked at me, "A perfectionist, you say?" Laughter bubbled out of me from seeing his expression, "That is putting it lightly." He guided me to the antechamber as the crowd was being immobilized by Alec. Their hearts were thrumming frantically from fear.
Fear's scent permeated the room, making my mouth water. The fresh blood seemed to sharpen my senses every time I fed. Feeding on human adults wasn't bad, but I refused to feed on innocent children. I wasn't going to be the one to end their young lives. The fear on their faces was enough to deter me from even touching them. Some part of me wanted to protect them and keep them away from this mayhem. Like the Cullens, I was questioned on why I made that choice.
Once it was dark, Demetri and I were patrolling the city. He was asking me about my choice of feeding. I knew my argument very well. "Why don't you? The blood of children is quite sweet." I suppressed a shudder, thinking of the light leaving a child's eyes, "Maybe, but to me, blood is like wine." Demetri glanced at me for a moment. "When it's that young, there's hardly a flavor. With a child, there is hardly enough there to satisfy your thirst. But, if you let them age and grow, the flavor of their blood is stronger and there's more than enough to be satisfied."
Demetri nodded, "You have a strong point. I do rather enjoy drinking from those in their twenties. There's still that taste of freshness and the taste is quite good." My eyes looked up at him, "I prefer 30s. Robust flavor, not matter what." A deep chuckle came from behind us, making the both of us turn back. A tall, hooded shadow approached us, "If you ever question why I married her, remember this moment." Felix stood close to me, not taking my hand. Demetri bowed his head and walked towards the courtyard. The night was very quiet and there weren't any vampires in the city besides members of the Guard.
As part of my patrol, I went to stand at the gated entrance of the city. The dark shadows of the stone archway hid me perfectly from weak human eyes. The ancient portcullis hung above my head, almost forebodingly. It could slam down at any moment, locking the humans in the city. Only the Guard could get over the walls easily. The foreboding sensation I felt was for the humans within these walls. How long would it take them to get out? To be trapped within these walls with blood thirsty vampires.
The sounds of an engine grew in the distance. A dark car was coming up the hill. The headlights shined across my still figure. The car began to slow as it pulled into the archway, until it stopped in front of me. The window rolled down to Emmett behind the wheel, "Bella, what are you doing out here?" I smiled at him, "Patrol." He made a face, "And they're trusting you?" A growl grew in my chest and he shook his head, "Kidding, B."
I wasn't that angry. Emmett didn't mean any harm. "Coming back from hunting?" He nodded, "When do you get off from work?" I laughed, "Dawn," it was so easily to fall back into my old pattern with the Cullens. "Would Felix let you come out to play? We're going to play football." Other scents came from the car window. Edward, Rosalie and Jasper were inside. Their scents were very distinctive from the other. "I'll ask permission."
The back window rolled down, "Bella?" It was Jasper. Demetri always reminded me of Jasper, never letting emotions show. The car door opened and Jasper stepped out, "Go ahead. I'll meet you inside." Emmett looked at us and shrugged, "Sure. See ya later." The car drove off and I turned to Jasper, "What's going on?"
The dark didn't diminish my eyesight. Jasper's features were just as clear as in the day. He moved and his arms were around me. My impulse was to throw him off, but all I did was hug him back. This was the closest Jasper and I ever was. "What's this for?" He breathed deeply, "This…. What I did to you." My brow furrowed. Of all things, I would have thought Edward would have, at least, conveyed my message to him.
My 18th birthday was the catalyst to my life changing. An innocent paper cut became a life changing event. "Jasper, this wasn't your fault. It's your nature, our nature." He shook his head, not believing me. "I'll admit," I said, hoping to soothe him, "I caught a bit of my human scent and it was pretty irresistible. I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did." His pulled back, "But we never meant for you to end up here." "Jas, if you were there when the Guard members came, your whole family would have been in trouble." "But, we weren't there and now your family thinks you're dead," he countered. My hands held his shoulders, "Jasper, remember one thing."
He waited. I smiled and pointed to myself, "Danger magnet. The Guard was going to your house to deliver a message to Carlisle and they saw the house was empty. They didn't say how they got inside, but they searched for clues on where you were. Demetri hasn't been around Carlisle in centuries, so he lost the tenor of his mind to find him. They were questioning who the human was in the framed picture on Carlisle's desk with Edward. The same girl that was in strewn pictures in Alice's room. And several of in Edward's room and Esme's study." Jasper looked at me, "What happened?" "They searched the town to find me. Small towns aren't known for keeping secrets," I chuckled, "They learned that all of you moved to L.A, which they knew was a lie. They found my house, thankfully, when I was home alone. And Aro instructed them to bring me to Volterra." Jasper's expression became calculating, "He couldn't see your mind, so he changed you."
I nodded once, "Exactly." Jasper sighed and took several steps away from me, "Bella, still I should apologize to you. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be a member of the Guard and m…" I held up one finger, "I joined them because I wanted to. They gave me the life I wanted, but I shouldn't have been alone. I didn't want to go out into the world knowing how dangerous I was." "Why didn't you come find us?" I looked at him and rolled my eyes, "Where would I have started? Alaska? To fly there and be locked in a cabin with almost 100 humans? Bad idea."
Jasper's frown deepened, "I should have had better control." I sighed in exasperation, "Well, maybe it was Alice's fault for having the damn party. Or Edward's for not letting me stay home on my birthday. Maybe it was Esme and Carlisle for not stopping the whole thing. Hell, it could be my fault for not being careful. We can play the 'blame game' for the rest of eternity and it wouldn't make a difference. We're here now. I'm alive, standing right here and immortal. Can't you see the bright side in those facts?" This argument was getting arduous and trying.
Jasper was quiet for a long moment. He was so still, blending into the darkness. He finally smiled, "You're right. Besides Edward, it hurt me the most when we went to your funeral. I kept thinking 'If it weren't for me, she would be alive.' The emotional atmosphere was unbearable." I sighed, trying not to remember the pictures, "Well, I don't blame you. I never did. It's just the things you deal with when you know vampires exist." He chuckled, "Yea, things can always be much worse. If only…?" He stopped mid-sentence. His postured jolted, taking in the emotions of something, "I think I better go." My head jerked a bit, "Why?"
Jasper half-smiled and glanced over his shoulder, "Because your husband's coming and I'm getting the feeling, literally, that he's jealous." I couldn't fight my laugh. My hand covered my mouth, trying to silence the peals of giggles, "Seriously?" My nerves jumped from Felix approaching us, only to make me smile wider. Jasper nodded, "Felix." Felix took my waist almost roughly, "Jasper." My cheek was pressed hard against his chest. Felix's fingers held me close, proving Jasper right.
"Felix, I just want to say one thing." Felix's face was hard as stone; "Yes?" his voice was cold. A cloud of calm came over us, making his fingers relaxed. My face was able to move away from his frame. "Take care of my little sister." Felix's features melted into a smile, "Of course I will." He extended his hand to shake Jasper's. "Also," Jasper took advantage of his influence, "Emmett invited Bella to play football. Would you mind is we burrowed her?" Felix's light laughed surprised me, "Of course not." Jasper nodded and dashed into the city, leaving us alone in the dark. The calming sensation faded as Jasper left. He didn't play fair. None of them did.
Felix didn't speak; he just stared ahead into the night. It was strange to see Felix jealous. He held me close, not letting me away from him. My body was pressed against his, locked in the unmovable hold of his arm. I counted to a thousand in my head before I spoke, "Are you all right?" He nodded, "Yes. I was just coming to check on you." My lips pursed, "Ok, but you knew I was fine." He looked down at me, "Did I? You were away from me and out of my sight."
My hand caressed his chest, drifting it back and forth, "You don't have to worry about me. I'm the most dangerous thing out here." He chuckled, "Yes, you are." He held in his arms and we watched as the sun began to color the dark sky in pink and orange. The prisms in each sunray came, growing brighter as the sun began to climb. "You don't mind if spend time with the Cullens, do you?" He held me closer, "No, I know he used his influence over me. But you missed them and they you. It's up to you, principessa." My head brushed his chest, nuzzling into his hold, "Thank you."
Felix and I ran back into the tower. We went passed Edward, Carlisle and Aro. "Bella?" I looked back to Carlisle calling me, "Yes?" He glanced up at Felix, "I wanted to speak to you, please." Felix looked down at me, "I'll be right there." He kissed my hand and departed. Before leaving, Felix took my cloak. "What was it?" Aro sighed. His pale skin crinkled on his brow, "It seems young Edward wanted to speak to you in private." I looked at him, a little miffed that they lied to Felix, "About what?"
He looked at me, "Could we go for a walk?" I nodded and he guided me upstairs to the hidden courtyard. The sun was still low in the sky. The prisms danced over the rooftops. It was enough to distract me for why I came up here. "What is it?" He sighed, "I just want to apologize for lying to you." I shrugged, looking at the buildings, "It's not necessary. You wanted to keep me safe." I walked pass him to watch once prism move on its path. Edward's hand held my waist, "Please just hear me out." We were close together, staring into each other's eyes.
"Bella, say you'll forgive me. You don't know what it did to me to leave you." My eyes narrowed slightly, "You don't know what it did to me. The nights I woke myself from screaming." Edward pulled me closer into his chest, making my wedding ring pressed into his chest, "I didn't know. Bella, I'm so sorry. I promise, I will never fail you again." My face was close to his, our lips so close I could taste his breath. Shivers ran under my skin, feeling my body against his.
I pushed away from him, hearing the others and feeling myself getting weaker, "I forgive you, Edward." Alice was lightly tossing a football to Emmett as they came up the stairs. Rosalie strode past me, "I hope can play. Emmett doesn't hold back." The sun was covered by a sudden storm cloud. Alice must have foreseen the storm. "We only have two hours," she stated, "the party is in a few hours." The teams were myself, Alice and Jasper against, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward.
During the game, Emmett's focus was on me. Underestimating me, my arm hooked Emmett's and he flew into a wall. He pushed away from the wall. Several bricks fell out of there place. He twisted his neck to the side, "Oh, that's it." He brushed off his shoulders and began to charge me. Jasper kept Emmett off me as the game progressed. Not even the sheeting rain halted the game. All we needed was a surrounding mountain range and thick trees and we could have been home.
"No, she's mine." Emmett tried to tackle me, but was suddenly stopped by Edward. Edward's teeth were near Emmett's throat, ready to hurt him. The two of them landed at the edge of the courtyard. The game halted, seeing Edward holding Emmett down, with his teeth bared at his brother. Emmett blinked, "Edward, what are you doing?" He paused and looked around, almost ashamed. No one moved watching the two brothers move away from each other. Rosalie stood by Emmett, ready to defend him, "What is with you? Emmett's on your team."
Edward backed away from everyone. I laughed out loud, breaking the tension, "Old habits die hard." The others looked at me, as I looked at Edward. I turned away from him, but I felt his eyes still on me.
Rosalie forced a hard laugh, "Yea and it cost us the game." Edward didn't look at anyone. He hung his head, "Bella's right. I saw Emmett's strategy and she was his target." He still couldn't take seeing me being hurt. Alice walked over to him, "We know." No one spoke as Alice and Edward disappeared inside. "Bella, come downstairs. You need to start getting ready," Esme called. I sighed deeply; this party was going to be rough.
I rushed down the stairs to Felix's bedchamber, which he now shared with me. "Bella?" I began undressing in the closet, "I'm coming. I'm just changing my clothes." He walked into the room as I pulled away my rain soaked jeans. My shirt clung to me like a second skin. I looked back and Felix was smiling. He found me standing undressed, with beads of water dripping down my skin, "Come here." He held out his hand and I walked into his arms. He kissed my forehead, "I missed you." His mouth descended on mine.
