Chapter 13: God Only Knows

"Tell me everything," Sigrid beseeched, her aqua colored eyes sparkling with excitement. The calm, normally reserved and prim side of her best friend had clearly been tossed to the wayside in light of this exciting development. Dressed in a stylish white top and bright, floral skirt, Sigrid was the epitome of preppy class that Tauriel knew her father wished she'd copy, right down to her perfectly coiled blonde hair and array of shiny silver jewelry.

She isn't perfect, Tauriel reminded herself. If her night with Kili's brother was anything like mine, she's not the proper princess HER father thinks she is either.

Tauriel held her breath, her hand flying up to her messy hair and exhaled sharply.

"I forgot you said your dad was coming to this…brunch thing," she waved her hand, "Where do I even start?"

Sigrid's hand clasped hers, playfully yanking her over to sit on the bed. Tauriel glanced around in annoyance at the sight of her room, which was in pristine order after a cleaning lady had clearly been at it. While her room was generally her own (she'd been allowed to paint it a pretty shade of green and decorate it with her own eclectic mix of things) every few weeks she was certain her father sent someone in to snoop through her belongings under the guise of cleaning. She twisted her long hair into a rope in front of her and sat, nervously twirling the end. Sigrid perched across from her, daintily tucking her legs beneath her.

"Well, I certainly hope you'd start at the part where you jumped on the back of his bike last night and never came back…"

Tauriel shot her a pleading look. "I'm sorry I just ran off like that. I just….something went off inside me when I met him. I can't explain it, I just had this need to get up and leave with him. Do something unexpected. Stray from the path, if you will."

"Tell me about it. I didn't think I'd just jump on the back of Fili's bike when my car broke down last week, but…I did, and I still don't regret it."

"Neither do I, which is strange," Tauriel lamented, still twisting the ends of her long hair. "We went for a ride, just up to the lookout point over town. We started talking, and…I kissed him. And then I asked him to take me home like I was some wanton harlot who behaved that way all the time."

"I'm sure he didn't think that!"

"If he did, he didn't care. He took me to his house and…."

"And?"

Tauriel looked up at her, heat rising in her cheeks. "And it was amazing. Once I…relaxed," she winced, dropping her head into her hand. "I never do anything like that, Sig, you know me. I've never…just had a fling."

"Which is precisely why you needed to do it, in my opinion."

"Oh please. I never do anything like that so I was terribly stiff and awkward at nervous-"

"I bet he helped you relax," Sigrid interjected, waggling her eyebrows.

Tauriel playfully slapped her knee, heat rising into her cheeks. "I've never been with anyone like him. He was so wild and uninhibited and just….just…what, uh…what was his brother like? Out of curiosity, if you don't mind my asking?"

Now it was Sigrid's turn to blush. She fumbled for a moment before her embarrassment melted away and she could barely contain her grin.

"He was…charming. Sweet. When we got to his house he was endearingly kind about the whole thing, but never told me no. I sort of jumped him, to be completely honest," she laughed, her eyes growing hazy. "He was incredibly open with himself and sure of what he was doing, but not in a way that made him cocky or seem like he…did that a lot. But he knew how to please me and wasn't the least bit shy about that bit."

"Kili was the same way, and I guess that's what threw me. But once I could uh…relax and get into it he…well, it was very good. Erm, satisfying?" she laughed, her words stilted. Sigrid was her closest friend and they'd talked about men before, but never in such detail. She found it more than challenging to talk to even her closest friend with such frankness.

"Tell me about it. Half the time I didn't know what he was doing or why he was bending me a certain way or over this chair or that, but after a while I just thought it best to stop asking questions and let things…happen," Sigrid sighed dreamily. "And boy am I glad I did."

Tauriel laughed, dropping her head at her friend's sultry candor.

"Shall I get you a cigarette? You look like you need it after talking about it."

"I can't help it. My bones feel like jelly just thinking about how many times he made me-"

"Sig!"

Both women laughed together before Tauriel sobered. The memories of all of this were undoubtedly pleasant, but she had to pull her mind back to the present if she was ever going to get a game plan together for facing her father.

"I thought I'd feel different. A little ashamed, maybe used. But I don't. Kili isn't at all what I thought he'd be like when I first met him at the bar. We just started talking and he listened to me and it just…I felt drawn to him."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Sigrid assured her, gently stilling the hand that was toying with her hair. "If you wanted him an ounce as much as I wanted his brother, then there's nothing to be sorry about. No matter what your silly father said to you, which I can only guess."

Sigrid had really hit the nail on the head if Tauriel was really being honest with herself. But then, that was Sigrid. Quiet, but not afraid to speak her mind when it came down to it, and her observations were usually blunt and full of honesty. Sigrid loved deeply, but only gave her trust to a very few. She observed the world around her to the point where most people saw her as an aloof outsider, but her friend was simply just protective of her younger siblings and had the same sensible head as her mother. That was another reason Tauriel was such close friends with the wispy blonde – Sigrid's mother had died giving birth to her youngest sister, Tilda. When they'd been introduced by their fathers at a political party when they were just girls, the bond had been immediate. They'd understood each other's lives and struggled with many of the same things: being who their father's expected them to be, living without mothers, and the most painful of all – dealing with a lonely life that put professions and politics before family.

"I should have made it more difficult for him," Tauriel lamented, propping her chin on her hand. "But no regrets, right?"

Sigrid nodded primly, straightening her skirt and nodding. Her friend gazed at her with unjudging eyes and Tauriel felt a little silly for worrying what she would think. She cared what few people in the world thought of her, but Sigrid was one whose opinion she took seriously.

"I think you did what your heart told you to do and you are a grown woman, so you have nothing to be ashamed of."

A warmth that only a good, solid talk with a friend could provide closed over the emotional wound Tauriel carried from her father's harsh scolding just minutes ago.

"So when are you going to see him next?"

It only took a split second for her eyes to widen as she realized she had no way to get in touch with Kili again. He hadn't given her his number and she hadn't volunteered hers. If she'd been better at this, she would have found a coy way to write it somewhere in his house for him to find. Now she had nothing.

"I don't know. I don't have any way to call him. I….I didn't get his phone number," she said slowly, shaking her head at her own stupidity. After all of that, she'd been so careless to not even bother asking for his number! Or should she have waited for him to offer it? Was that a sign that he didn't want to see her again and she was just too much of a simpleton to realize it?

Sigrid's hand closed over her own before she had a chance to panic any further. "If only you had a friend with his number…"

"No! I mean…no, I can't. You have his number?"

Sigrid's normally calm face was lit up in a smile that rivaled the sun. "I have his brother's number! That's just as good! I'll text Fili and tell him to have Kili-"

"No!" Tauriel jumped, her hand flying out to grab Sigrid's. "I can't…"

Frowning, Sigrid leaned back on the bed and cocked her head to the side. "What's wrong now?"

"I don't want to call him. After everything this morning I just…I just…I need him to make the next move. I can't explain it, Sigrid, but it's important. God only knows I did enough of that last night. I need him to…make the effort this time around. If he finds a way, then…then I'll know it was more than just one night."


Thank you for reading!