Chapter 15 – Jealousy
The car entered the French countryside. I couldn't face myself, not even look at my own reflection. I wanted to rip my heart out of my chest. I was cheating on my husband. I shouldn't have either of them. I should be left alone for the rest of eternity. Felix didn't deserve an unfaithful wife. He was the most faithful member of the Guard and his wife was doing this to him. For Edward to want to be with me after he let me go, we're both to blame for giving into our impulses. Did he take advantage of me when I was worried about Felix fighting the Romanians? Maybe he did. Maybe I just wanted to be held. To be told that things were going to be alright. How was I going to handle this?
The sun broke through the clouds and with it came new insight. The darker part of my mind was waking up. Use this to your advantage. My eyes met with the sunlight. If Edward was willing to make me happy, I should make him suffer. Make him feel all the pain I felt since the day he left me. I turned the car and drove back to Volterra.
Being this way wasn't me. This wasn't Bella, this was Felix's wife. That thought made me smile. I was Felix's wife and it's time I acted like it. The car screeched to a stop in front of the tower. Before anyone saw me, I dashed into the tower. My heels echoed off the tiled floor as I walked to the elevator. The doors opened. Felix stepped out with Jane. She walked passed me, "Bella." I smiled, "Jane." Before he could speak, I pushed Felix back into the elevator. He was shocked by my force as I pressed my lips to his. His arms circled my waist, "Where'd you go?" My head leaned against his chest, "I was bored, so I went for a drive." He leaned down towards me as the elevator reached the top floor.
I playfully pushed his face away, "Where were you going?" He exhaled a long breath, "Quick assignment. Jane and I were going to go handle it." I smiled at him and lightly pressed a kiss to his lips, "Dismember one for me." He chuckled, "Always. I love you." I kissed him again, "I love you." He stepped back into the elevator and my body was motionless until the sound of his footsteps faded away on the floors below. I smirked and headed for the back. Was it bad of me to do this? I knew the answer; it was but I didn't care. It was time I took control of things.
While walking, my feet took me down another hall, leading to another bedchamber. I opened the door to find Edward sitting at the desk reading. He looked at me, "Bella," he set the book down and smiled his crooked smile, "What can I do for you?" I crossed the room and pressed my lips to his. He leaned into the kiss, locking me in his embrace. The shirt he wore ripped in my hands. His fingers undid the buttons of my blouse and he pulled me into him. Once again, I joined with him, forgetting everything else.
Edward was lying on his couch when I stood up, "I have to get going. I know he's on his way back." My clothes were scattered across the room. My jeans were strewn on the desk. He dashed in front of me, stopping me from pulling on my shirt, "How much longer do we have to do this? Tell him the truth." My hands were pulling my hair into a ponytail, "The truth?" My voice was muted, but harsh, "Edward, the truth is I love him. I still love you, but I'm not leaving him. And, whatever this is, he's not going to know about it. I would never hurt him like that." Edward held my face, "Bella, I love you. We belong together." I blinked once, "I know. But, when I took my vows, I meant them. It's bad enough I'm doing this. So, try to understand."
He stepped away from me frustrated and defeated. My clothes were back on and my arms folded, "Maybe we should stop this then." I knew that would snap him out of this depressing state. He whirled and looked at me, "No! No, I can't live without you." He came over to me, "Don't ever say that." I sighed, "But, soon this won't be enough for you." He shook his head determined, "I'm with you. That's enough." His lips then held mine. His breath was so sweet and warm on my cheek. Edward's hand crept along my back. I chuckled from the touch, "No, I have to go." I stepped away from him, but he pulled me back into his body, "Not yet."
My hands went to his chest and pushed him away, "I'll see you later." His hand held my face, "I love you." I left the room, not returning the sentiment. Back in my room, I took a quick shower and waited for Felix. My back was to the door when it opened. He was already here. Warm lips pressed into my hair. Arms wound around me, but they weren't the ones I was expecting. I looked back, "Edward, what are you doing here?" He smiled his crooked smile, "It's later." Footsteps were coming from the hall, "You have to go!" His lips mashed into a hard line, "When the time is right, I'm going to tell him." My hand gripped his forearm, forcing him to stand still, "You will not!" This was dangerous, but kinda fun. Edward wanted me back badly, but he wasn't going to get me.
I pushed him out of the window, "Edward, go." He held my face, "Just say it. One time." My eyes saddened, almost feeling pity for him, "I love you." He kissed me and leapt to the ground. Before the door opened, I dashed back and forth across the chamber, masking Edward's scent with mine. I stood back at the window, watching the clouds thicken and cover the stars. Wind blew into the room and droplets of rain hit my face.
Arms wound around me again and I was pulled backwards into a stone chest. He rocked us slow, side to side and kissed my hair, "Let's go away for a while." I smiled from the sound of Felix's voice, "Where do you want to go this time?" His fingers undid the sash at my waist, removing the silk robe from my shoulders, "I was thinking Spain."
The robe fell to my feet, as I turned to face him, "That sounds lovely." Felix took a step back to look at me. His eyes appraised me as he took in the red corset with matching mini skirt I was wearing. A wide smile grew on his face, "And bring this outfit with you." He pulled me into his chest and pressed his mouth to my neck. The tip of his tongue drifted across my shoulder as he smiled seductively and he undid the ties on my back. The corset fell away. His knees bent as he pulled the skirt off my legs. Before straightening up, Felix kissed my leg, up my stomach, along my chest to my neck.
Felix wanted nothing more than he wanted me. I wanted him too. There was a part of me that hated what I was doing. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve an unfaithful wife. I should tell Edward to leave. But the part of me that wanted him to stay, also wanted to hurt him.
I wanted Edward to suffer as I have suffered. One thing I learned from Felix, from the Guard, is that you have to be hard. You have to be hard and uncompromising. Edward was going to find that I was a different woman. Felix claimed my lips with his. He whispered that he loved me again and again. It was still hard to believe that I loved him too.
Spain was beautiful. When Felix and I arrived, it was the time of the year known as "Running of the Bulls." Felix and I watched the whole spectacle from the private house he purchased. The house was another birthday gift, along with the house in Venice. "I wanted us to have places to live when we travel." It was surprising that almost every vampire I met was financially well-endowed.
In the streets below, people were running away from the bulls, while the crowds laughed and cheered. The ground rumbled from the running herd. The sound was like thunder as it shook the very earth. I leaned against the windowsill, "What is the point of this?" Felix rested his hand on my back, rubbing back and forth as he explained the history of it and it still made no sense. I shrugged, "So, they purposely put themselves in harm's way. Humans." Thinking about it, humans did this sort of thing all the time. Swimming with sharks, jumping out of planes, playing with fire, climbing cliffs and so much more. All for the sake of adrenaline. He smiled, "I know. After centuries of watching them, it does seem ridiculous."
I found my favorite city in the world; Barcelona. This was the most beautiful city I'd ever seen. The buildings were beautifully designed. The carved artwork overhead was so lovely, that I walked at a human pace admiring them. Felix never got frustrated when I broke away from him and drifted into the local shops. He let me wonder like a child, taking all the city had to offer. Felix took me on his version of a private tour through the Spanish Village. Long after the crowds were gone for the night, we leapt over the walls into the courtyard. The buildings were similar to those in Volterra.
"Principessa, we have to get going," Felix held my suitcase as I lingered at the window. I didn't want to leave. "Felix, can we live here?" Volterra seemed far less interesting now and I didn't want to go back. To have to deal with Edward and his wanting stares was a little annoying. Felix crossed the room, "Not this century." I whimpered a little, "Can we come back soon?" The lights of the city kept me glued to the spot that I stood. Felix trailed his hand down my arm, "Soon."
In Volterra, Edward and Felix almost came to blows. Felix and I were sitting in the courtyard and he was reading sonnets to me. They were written by authors I never heard of and older than Shakespeare. There was a romantic side to Felix that he kept hidden. He spoke the words so fluently, it felt like I was melting away.
Edward found us in our close embrace and rolled his eyes. It wasn't something he wanted to see. I ignored him, not wanting to deal with him. Felix lowered the book, "Edward, if seeing us like this bothers you so much, you can just… leave." Edward looked at him, "It's not for you to ask me to leave. Your master invited my family and me to stay." Felix stood up, leaving me on the marble bench. He towered over Edward, "I'm not asking you to leave. I'm recommending it." The words were a hiss.. Edward's arms tightened, "Thank you for the recommendation, Felix," Edward sneered his name, "but I think I'll stay."
Felix's fists tightened, making his knuckles crack, "Fine, but you will keep yourself composed when you see me with my wife. Understand?" I knew Edward's temper and he wouldn't take kindly to being spoken to like that. Edward glared up at Felix, "Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?" My eyes widened as they stood close to each other, one staring the other down. I moved to stand between, but Felix's arm shot out, holding me back, "No, but you keep disrespecting us and it will be."
Edward's eyes narrowed into slits. He's fought Emmett so many times; Felix wouldn't be considered much of a task. Felix's fingers alone were strong enough to hold me, "Stop!" Neither of them moved. The tension between them was there, almost choking the air. It was like the Greek gods ready to fight and the earth would suffer their wrath. "Felix, please. Don't do this!" He exhaled and looked at me.
My eyes pled with him to not fight. He gritted his teeth, "Because she asked and only because she asked, I'll let this go." He turned back to look at Edward, "But next time, you won't be so fortunate." It took a great deal of strength for Felix to walk away from a fight. Especially a fight he was more than sure that he would triumph. Felix clasped my hand roughly and turned us away. We were on the stairs when I stopped, planting my feet, "Let me talk to him." Felix looked back at me, "No, now let's go." I sighed, "Please, please, let me do this." It didn't bother me that he used a harsh tone; he was mad, with every right to be. "I can talk to him and make him see reason."
Felix's features were getting angrier. He was a few steps lower than me, so we were face to face. My hand held his cheek. "Please, my love. A few minutes and I'll be right there. I promise." His arms wrapped around me, as he leaned his forehead to mine, "Only because you asked." Our lips leaned to each other as we kissed. He walked downstairs and I turned back.
Edward was still, watching the doorway. I looked at him, "You must have a serious death wish." He scoffed and motioned with one hand, dismissively, "Don't blame me. He's the one that jumped to conclusions." My hands flew up into the air, thoroughly annoyed at all of this. "Well, he didn't have to jump that far. Edward, your actions are louder than words." He was silent as he looked at me. "Edward, I don't want you two fighting. Please, if you know we're together, don't come near us. It only hurts you and it makes him mad. It just causes unnecessary stress." Edward rolled his eyes and groaned in frustration, "Well, when I see him with the woman I love, I'm not going to pretend for his sake."
I sighed and let my head drop, "Then what about mine?" There was no answer. Clearly, I wasn't getting through to him. My body turned away from him, but stopped when Edward moved to stand in front of me. His hands held my face as he lowered his lips to mine. His arms pulled me into his chest. I didn't respond to him. There was no emotion in my kiss. He pulled away from me, "There's something you need to know about Felix." I groaned, "Edward, stop," my hands rested on his chest. He held my shoulders, "No, this is important." My head shook, "Please just don't." I stepped away from him, heading for the stairs. "Felix married you because you look like Helena." He blurted out the words in a rush.
My foot stopped in mid-stride as my body froze, "What?" I turned to look back at him. His face was stone, "You look like Helena. That's why he married you." My eyes pricked with invisible tears, "You're lying." My voice dropped to a lower tone, "Why would you say that to me?" He was clutching to the edge of the cliff and I was ready to push him off. Edward's fingers held my chin, but my hand slapped his away. "I may have lied to you before, but on this, I'm serious. He has pictures of her. Portraits he's made himself." My lower lip trembled, "It's not true. You're lying. Is this what you've resorted to?" I turned and dashed down the stairs towards the main antechamber.
I leaned against a wall, trying to control my breathing. Why would he say something like that? Well, I didn't know much about Felix or his past. My fist knocked my forehead, feeling completely foolish for even listening to him. Edward was trying to plant the seed of doubt in my mind. He wasn't going to stop at nothing to have me leave Felix.
A crowd of humans filled the room being let in by Felix. He was stuck on the other side of the room. His eyes fell on me and I feigned a smile. He looked at me, seeing if I was upset. Alec moved through the crowd, immobilizing them so that we could feed.
