Oh, gosh, how long has it been? are you guys still sticking by my side? I think it has literally been over a year since I last logged on here. I want to take a moment to give you guys the reason I was gone for so long because my friend made it sound like I had cancer...which I don't.
So, here it goes. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I was very young. As I got older my anxiety and depression became worse. I've had times where I'd go into a very dark place and feel like just giving up...but it was never something that I wasn't able to pull myself out of. However, a year, or so, ago my depression became worse than ever before and my anxiety went through the ceiling. I couldn't find that light to bring myself to a well enough state and ask for help. It was like there was absolutely no hope for me. I didn't even enjoy the things that helped me get through my issues . . . writing was no longer enjoyable. I would sit at my computer and jut stare at it because my ideas were drained as was my energy. I isolated myself from the world and just got worse. Finally, I snapped and decided that life wasn't worth it because nothing helped me get better. I gave up.
I was sent to the hospital and my therapy was increased tenfold. It took awhile for me to even want to try to get better. The year was rough...but I had my friends and my family there for me. Eventually, I was able to get back on my feet and find the positive rather than the negative. I'm better now and glad to be typing at my computer again. I will never say that I have fully recovered from depression and anxiety...because I believe that those are things that a person will never fully recover from. We learn to cope through depression and anxiety and everything else. We become stronger. We can recover from self harm and some thoughts, but other things don't just have it all end like that.
I still struggle sometimes. I still get sad. I still have anxiety attacks over simple things. I still have my issues, but I am getting stronger. There was a point where I felt like I would ever be happy again...like things would never get better...but that was because of my issues. Things do get better, but you have to want them to and you have to work at it.
Depression, anxiety, and all the others are serious issues. And to all of my readers...if you ever...EVER feel any type of pain or anxiety...know that I am here. I will always be here for you guys. I know what it's like to want everything to end. I know what it's like to find relief, comfort, feelings, etc..through self harm. I know what it's like to feel worthless and broken, empty and alone. But you will never be alone...I promise. If I am not updating I will try to let you guys know. But if you ever need me you can always message me through my twitter ( TheHorcruxHeart). I love you guys so much.
P.S. the reason my friend didn't upload the last chapters was because when I gave up I deleted everything. So, it looks like I'll have to start over, but don't worry...this story isn't done yet.
~LovelyUnderland
