Chapter 27 – Not Goodbye

After putting all the clothes away, my side of the closet looked like it would explode with everything stuffed into every available space. There was a knock on the door, "Come in." Light footsteps came into the room and stopped outside the closet door. "Bella," my body stiffed at the sound of the visitor's voice.

"Helena?" My body was rigid as I turned to face her. She went to sit on the couch, "I wanted to say something." I waited, leaning against the doorframe of the closet. She gestured for me to sit next to her, but I didn't move. I didn't trust her. Helena's eyes saddened and nodded, "Do you love him?" My eyebrow arched at her question. She clarified, "Do you love Felix?" I half-smiled; mostly in irritation. How many times are people going to ask me that? "Yes, very much."

"And he loves you," she breathed. Her head drooped, "I know he does. I saw it, when he held you while you were in pain. In the way he fought off that she-wolf to protect you. And the way he looks at you. I never got that." Her hand rubbed the back of her neck, before she looked up. Was this confession or something? She exhaled deeply and stood, "Please don't be mad with me. I was wrong for trying to take him from you. Bella, I'm sorry."

My eyes scrutinized her. Her body language was all wrong. It didn't match what she was saying. I held up one finger, "You know, something tells me that this is an act, like when you pretended to be me. I mean, you were pretty cocky in believing you would take Felix from me and now, you're just backing down. I don't buy it. This could just be you trying to lower my defenses." Helena's head dropped, cutting off the sight of her eyes. "Is this real?" I asked through my teeth. My arms folded, with my fingers drumming on my sleeve, waiting.

Her head rose slowly, with a wicked smiled, "Smart girl," she said in a devious voice, "Intelligence does run in the family, but I wasn't lying. He does love you and I do see it. Maybe this was my way to see if I can gain your trust, being that we were family," she said the last part in a sympathic voice. She turned to the window and scoffed, "Family's nothing but an accident of birth and I have no use for them." I was right. This was another one of her tricks.

Helena shifted her weight to cross her legs, "We were once nobility, but all that changed when your great, great grandparents moved to America. Our family fortune lost." She snorted, "Look how far we've fallen." Her head, twisting her body slowly back to me, "And you, you simply won the genetic wheel of fortune to end up looking like me." She sighed, "But you're not me. You're too nice, too sweet. He'll become so bored with you."

Anger built up in me, "Bored? Now, I don't know about that. I've kept him really entertained for a year and he can't get enough." I sighed, "And, being nice and sweet, it appeals to him. He finds it very alluring. Face it, he just wants a younger woman."

Helena's eyes narrowed as she looked at me; her body rising from the couch, "Watch it, little girl." I could feel the outside of my shield being attacked. Before it could grow, I pushed my shield to wrap around Helena and she fell back onto the couch. She gripped both sides of her head, not letting sounds of pain escape from her. When she stopped her power, I pulled my shield back. Its elasticity snapped back almost painfully, bringing the sting of her attack, "Don't try that with me. My shield is very adaptive."

Her breath trembled. She didn't move to get up, she just glared at me. I walked over to her, "Now, get this straight," I warned, "Felix doesn't love you. He's told you this and now, I am too. Leave Volterra because you're just embarrassing yourself." She bared her teeth at me, "I can stay as long as I like." She smirked at me, "I think I may just take up Aro's offer and join the Guard." My teeth ground together. Every instinct in my body wanted to lunge at her.

"You're joining the Guard?" Felix asked when he came into the room. He stood in front of me, blocking my view of Helena. His footsteps echoed in the hall while I watched Helena writhe in pain. She didn't even hear him coming. She smiled sweetly, "I'm considering it. It's time I used my immortality for a purpose." Aro entered the room, right behind Felix, "Are you sure, my dear?" Helena's eyes widened, "I…. may be." Her voice trembled as she answered. She didn't want to join that Guard; that was obvious. Felix and I looked at each other. My lips trembled as I tried not to smile.

Aro smiled, "Well, I hope you do. All we ask is that you stay for at least 50 years. We could use a new member, being that two are leaving." Felix came to stand beside me and held my waist, "Thank you for understanding." Aro smiled and patted Felix's huge shoulder, "You have served us well for centuries. Enjoy your time." Aro left, taking a last look at me.

Felix then turned to Helena and took one step toward her, taking me with him, "Helena, I'm going to say this one final time. I do care about you, but I love Bella. There is nothing between us anymore. I asked Bella to marry me, not because she looks like you. I married her in spite of that. She's nothing like you." Helena's eyes narrowed with her teeth clinched together, "I would give you everything,"

Felix held me tightly to his side, letting his thumb draw circles on my cheek, "I already have it, in her." He looked down and kissed my hair. His breath wove through my hair, "Instead of clinging to the past, look for the one you're supposed to be with, because it's not me."

Her teeth chattered behind her quivering lip, "Felix, it was supposed to be me, not her." She jabbed a finger at me and I rolled my eyes. Helena was desperately clinging to their past, when clearly, Felix has moved on. He shook his head and his fingers pressed into my skin, "No, it's not." Stubbornness must run in the family too.

"Helena, do whatever you want. Stay, leave, I don't care. I'm through discussing this with you. My wife and I are leaving for some time." Helena's mouth formed a hard line and I looked up at him, "But I thought new members had to stay for 50 years." Felix looked at me, "I've discussed it with Aro. Being one of the highest regarded members, I was able to negotiate it with him." Helena snorted, "Enjoy your time." She fled from the room, clearly defeated.

Felix closed the door and leaned against it. His eyes looked up at the ceiling, not saying a word. Silently, I went over to him to lean against his chest. His hands moved to hold me, playing with my hair. My ear was pressed against his chest and I could hear his breathing slow to a steady pace. "We're really leaving?" The sounds of his breathing resonated in his chest, "Yes, for a while. We could do back to India or Venice."

I smiled, "Or China. They're very overpopulated." Felix tilted my head back to kiss me, "We can go to all of those places." I smiled under his kiss, before deepening it. My arm wound around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He turned our bodies so that my back was against the wall. Playfully, I bit his lip ending the kiss. Remembering Alice's request; now would be a good time to ask, being that he was in a giving mood.

"From time to time, could we visit the Cullens? Alice and Esme requested it and I would like to." Coaxing to the answer I wanted, my legs wrapped around his waist. I locked myself around him, looking into his eyes. He smiled, brushing my hair back to hold the side of my face, "Only because you asked." He walked us over to the couch, with his arms tightly around me and Felix told me about why he requested the time for us.

Since he's joined the Volturi, Felix has served them well. Always giving, never taking anything for himself. When it came to protecting and upholding the law, Felix never hesitated to honor Aro's request. But now that he has me, things are different. He wants to see the world. Before me, the world held no interest for him.

As Edward has told me before, I was bringing out Felix's human side. A side of him he thought was lost centuries ago. Rather, it was buried underneath his vampire nature and instincts. He wanted me to show him how much the world has changed. His arms held me close as he asked me to show him what the world has to offer.

I smiled, "Is that part of the reason why you purchased the houses?" He let out a devious chuckle, "Partly." My head leaned on his shoulder, letting my hand moved back and forth across his chest. My fingers trailed over the definition of his body as we spoke. My head tilted upward to look at him.

Felix pressed his lips to mine, breathing his warm breath against my cheek. My breathing stopped when he held me closer and his lips parted mine. Right now, my heart should be crashing in my chest, but there was only silence. There was a phantom pounding that I liked. Kissing Felix actually made me feel human again.

There was a knock on the door, but we ignored it. The knocker sighed and tapped the door again. "Go away," Felix said, then captured my lips again. "Felix," it was Chelsea, "there's a problem." His lips hardened, "You can handle it without me." Chelsea sighed and walked away, "Newlyweds." Felix stopped the kiss, "Don't be jealous."

There was a quick huff, then the sound of something shattered outside of the room. Felix looked up, "Another mirror destroyed." My head turned to look at the door, "Go see what they need." Felix's arms tightened as he leered at me and I pushed against his chest, "Go." His eyes softened, "No." Moving quickly, I was pinned on the couch again. My face turned away from him, "No, Felix." His arms wrapped around my body, keeping me in place, "You're not going anywhere, principessa."

I looked at him, "Let me go." Felix bit his lip, then pressed them to the skin of my neck. "I don't think I will let you go, ever," Felix said, then kissed my neck again. "Felix," I whined, "Can I at least say goodbye to Carlisle?" He deliberated for a moment, "Of course, but later." I was locked in the hold of his arms and leapt out of the window. He ran around the building, down into the garage and lowered me into one of the cars.

Before I could ask, he was driving out into the evening. "Felix, where are we going?" His arm pulled me closer to his side, "I just want some time alone with you." This was nice, the two of us alone. There was no one else. I intended to convince Felix that we should stay in Volterra, but alone time was too tempting. The car drove, chasing in the sun into the west. Soon, we were at the beach I once escape to.

There was no moon, yet it didn't take away from the natural beauty of the water. The water brushed the sand, darkening it. My eyes were fixed on the water, when something turned my face. Felix's fingers brushed my hair back as he kissed me. He pulled me across his lap, "I love you." "I love you too." His thumb brushed the corner of my mouth, "Let's leave, right now. It could just be you and me." I smiled, it was an enticing offer. "What's the rush? We have time. Nothing but time and each other."

He kissed me again, trying to convince me in his argument, "Isabella, I just want you." I touched his face, "You have me." Felix and I stared into each other's eyes, his hand grazing along my hip, "Then what do you want?" There was something we could do, "Well, there is an ocean right outside. And no one's around." He moved with inhuman speed to the beach.

The beach was the perfect escape for the night. It was fun, but regretted that I lost time with Alice. She delayed her family leaving as much as she could. Eventually, they began to leave at different intervals. Apart from Alice, the hardest goodbye was with Edward. Like Helena, he saw that I loved Felix.

"What finally made you realize it?" He sighed, gripping the stone mantle in his room, "When you ran to stop the wolf from attacking him. I tried to protect you, but you ignored me to help him." My half smiled lasted for a moment. Seeing Felix in danger, my first instinct was to help him. There was no one else. "I still wish," he whispered, "I could take back what I said, but I finally see. This is something I have to live with."

I sighed deeply, "You're acting as if I died. Can't we still speak to each other? You know, be friends. I don't think I could ever see you as a brother, like Em and Jas, but I do consider you my best friend." He smiled his crooked smile, "That's true. You know me better than anyone."

Edward wrapped his arms around me, his chin resting on my head, "I'm sorry, but I am happy for that you found someone to care for you." I looked up, "You forget so quickly. I can take care of myself." He chuckled, "Barely." My hands pushed him away, "Get off me." He jumped back, laughing. The two of us looked at each other, until Edward looked away.

Edward closed his last truck, not before he took out one item. He handed me a flat square display case. It was my birthday CD. Holding the CD triggered conflicting emotions; happiness to have my composition back and pain from the day it was taken from me, "Thank you." My voice quivered, making him turn, purely on instinct.

He was seeing if I was in pain; physical or emotional. Trying to compose my face and failing, Edward brushed my cheek with the back of his hand, "It belongs to you. No matter what, that is still my gift to you." My breath shook as I exhaled. My lullaby was still the most beautiful gift anyone had ever given me.

"Thank you." He smiled, taking one step closer to me. I looked up, leaning into his palm that was still on my face. We moved closer to each other. I tip-toed up to press my lips to his. Our arms wrapped around each other, our lips molded to one another. I didn't regret this, instead, I would miss it; our last kiss.

Esme's voice broke as she said goodbye. She hated having me away, considering I lost my family, but she understood. Felix and Bree were my family now. "Don't worry. I'll be visiting soon." She sighed, "I would love that." her voice shook with her emotions. She hated leaving me behind again. Our hug lasted for a long moment. She was hugging her daughter goodbye and I was hugging my mother. This hug was the one I wish I could have given Renee before I left.

Emmett punched my shoulder before he pulled me in for a tight, almost back breaking hug. Trying to be a tough guy, he hid his face from me as he turned away. Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Alice were the last to leave. Rosalie and Jasper left a week ago and Edward left four days ago. Carlisle, Emmett and Esme went on to the antechamber to say their goodbyes to Aro. Carlisle simply kissed my forehead and said I could call them for anything. Alice however, she lingered behind, with me.

She was trying not to cry, but she couldn't hide it from me. Going back to my old self, my lips trembled as my own cry was building up. It became funny, when she and I started laughing. Both of us laughing to hide our pain. Neither of us wanted her to leave. "Call me when you arrive." Alice smiled, "Ok. I'm really going to miss you."

I choked on the words, "I'm going to miss you too. But we'll see each other soon." Alice hugged me and I squeezed her back, "Next month, shopping in Paris?" she suggested. "It's a date." Alice and I walked hand in hand; pass Tara, down to the main entrance of the tower. I watched as they drove off, a part of me leaving with them.

Without the Cullens here, the tower suddenly felt a little colder and I felt a bit lonely. Back in my quarters, I leaned against the wall, slipping slowly to the floor. My family was gone and, for the first time in a long time, I felt scared. The Cullens took a part of me with them. Was it the last of my humanity or part of my heart?

It was my heart. All of them were in it, as parents, brothers, sisters and a once great love. I loved them all and they were gone. Chills ran through me as I thought of this. Part of me wanted to be part of their family. As Carlisle and Esme's daughter or as their daughter in law. But I made my choices and I didn't regret them. The Cullens were in my heart, but Felix was my heart.

Felix was who I wanted and needed. Getting off the floor, breathing away my sorrow, my eyes fell on a silver package on the small table next to the couch. It was wrapped just like my birthday presents. Alice. I took up the flat rectangular box and tore away the paper.

It was a silver frame holding two pictures. The top one was of me and Alice from the celebration Aro held for us. I never said it, but in a way, she was my maid of honor. The bottom one was of me and Felix from the party. His arms were around my waist, with our chests pressed together.

I exhaled, smiling, "Thanks, Alice." The picture now stood on the dresser in the bedroom of my husband and sister.