Issue 25: Lord and Goddess of the Underworld
Skyworld
The Great Totem, Ero stands on top a balcony at the highest floor of Palutena's Temple, which is almost rebuilt after its destruction during the Chaos Kin ordeal. He stares silently at the skies with his arms crossed, minding his own business until he heard footsteps approaching from behind.
"You are unusually troubled…" Palutena's voice gets his attention as she walks up beside him. "What seems to be bothering you?" She asked him.
"Loki has conquered three more of the Nine Realms." Ero answered, worrying her.
"That leaves Midgard and Asgard…What's the plan? You DO have a plan?" Palutena asked him.
"We'll handle Hades before we go after Loki, assuming the Asgardians can hold him off." Ero said, assuming Loki will be going after Asgard next.
"Where is Hades at the moment? I can't sense him anywhere in the Underworld." Palutena asked.
"He's in Niffleheim." Ero replied, causing Palutena to flinch from the name, aware of what goes on over there, and more importantly, who rules over that land.
"That is not good. How'll we get there?" Palutena asked as they're still having trouble making contact with the other worlds, and because Palutena doesn't have the ability for inter-dimensional transportation.
"I know a way." Ero smirked.
"You always do." Palutena smiled as they stare at the heavens together for a bit. "Remember the first time we met?" She asked him so they can have a friendly conversation.
"I chose to forget."
"Typical. Remember how a young, beautiful woman like me almost got killed by a giant ogre while I was wandering a forest, then you swooped in and saved me?" Palutena asked him.
""Saving you" is an overstatement. You were in the way during my hunt." Ero replied.
"But you were nice enough to accompany me back home." Palutena smiled.
"Because Bride insisted." Ero replied, talking about the other great Spider-Totem, The Bride, who's like Ero's younger sister and can be quite annoying to him.
"Riiiiight." Palutena slyly smirked, making him groan. "I am glad to have met you. You taught me a lot during this endeavor. How to be a better goddess for the people. You're a good friend. And from what I can tell, you need friends. Friends to keep you happy."
"Yet you kept pestering me." Ero retorted.
"Just to help lighten you up, grumpy pants." Palutena giggled as she repeatedly pokes him.
"Quit that!" He slaps her finger away.
"Y'know. If I didn't know any better, I think you're afraid of me." Palutena teased him.
"What?!" Ero snarled.
"Admit it. Out of all the frightening creatures you've fought over the centuries, the only one you're truly afraid of is me. You were always so afraid to kiss me during our century-long date." Palutena taunted him, really boiling his raging blood.
"Stop making stupid accusations!" Ero shouted.
"Oh? Then prove I'm wrong." Palutena smirked at him.
Ero growled. "I really despise you. Tch." He grunted as he knows he's being baited, but with his pride on the line, he'll have to suck it up. He walks over to Palutena, and with little hesitation, kisses her in the lips, with Palutena gently embracing for a bit before they stopped. "There! You happy?" He annoyingly asked her.
"You seemed to have enjoyed that." Palutena quipped.
"Grr! Dealing with you is exhausting." Ero groaned, annoyed.
"Maybe you need another kiss?" Palutena joked.
Ero groaned again. "After this, I hope we never meet again." Ero replied as he walks back into the temple.
"You'll miss me."
"I missed when you were the Chaos Kin's puppet, so I can beat you up for an eternity." Ero replied, receiving a loud smack to the head by an angry Palutena.
"Enough of your wisecracks!" Palutena retorted.
"Whatever…" Ero said as he walks pass her. "Child…" He muttered loud enough for Palutena to get annoyed.
"Why do I bother with him?" Palutena asked herself before she rejoins him.
Later after prepping up…
Spider-Man presses the button on his Webware as his nanites start to overtake him. He stylishly jumps into the air as they continue putting on his armor. And once they're done, he does his classic crouch landing, all armored up and ready for action. "Arachna-Prime Armor online!" He said as his eyes glow.
Nearby, Pit rushes to the case containing the Three Sacred Treasures and kicks them open, immediately equipping himself with his sacred armor. "Equipped again!" He exclaimed.
Weiss and Lucina power themselves up with the ISO-Norn Stone, leaving Sonic in the dust of their rainbow glory. "Heeey." Sonic whined for not getting a power up.
"You have your special perk. This one's ours." Weiss smirked since Sonic can transform using the Dream Stone.
"That's cold." Sonic punned, making Lucina chuckle.
They all rush towards them as the door opens, but this one looks to be stitched together by webbing. "That's new." Weiss quipped before they leap through the web door and immediately teleported above a mysterious icy region filled with fogs and mists.
Niffleheim
BGM-Kid Icarus Uprising OST-Lord of the Underworld
'It's finally time for you to square off against Hades. Are you ready?' Palutena asked as they deal with Underworld monsters and Chitauri.
"We are SO ready! I carbo-loaded and everything!" Pit said.
"I'm looking forward to dance with Hades!" Sonic grinned.
'Great!' Palutena smiled as they swerve away from some Frost Giants. 'Hades and Loki has overstepped their boundaries by exploiting and desecrating souls. They've disrupted the balance between the earth, the heavens, the Underworld, the whole universe. They must be stopped. All of YOU must stop him. It's a tall order, but if anyone can do it, I have faith that you all can do it!'
"We won't disappoint you, milady!" Lucina said.
"Leave it to us! In the name of the heavens, the earth, the humans, and the souls bound for the afterlife... We WILL defeat Hades!" Pit declared before he asked something else. "And another question: Where are we? 'Cause this doesn't look like the Underworld. It's too cold."
"I was just going to ask the same thing." Spidey said.
'We're in Niffleheim, one of the Nine Worlds Loki has conquered.' Palutena replied.
"Seriously?! But I thought you couldn't make contact with the other worlds." Weiss said, remembering how Loki's using his magic to block inter-dimensional travel for them.
'Ero's allowing me to use the Web of Life and Destiny to boost my range to where I can teleport you to.' Palutena replied.
"The Web of Life and Destiny?" Pit questioned.
'It's the great web that holds up the entire multiverse. Each strand is affiliated with its own Spider-Man.' Palutena briefly explained.
"Wow. I had no idea you were so important, Spidey." Pit said, smiling at Peter.
"I'm still having a hard time believing it." Spidey replied as they fly down a ravine, destroying more Underworld monsters as they suddenly find themselves in a crimson, hellish land where they pass billions of floating green crystals holding deceased souls.
'Everyone. Welcome to Hel, with one "L" I should stress.' Palutena announced.
"This place is scarier than the Underworld." Pit said, a little frightened as a hollowing ghost flies through him, causing him to shiver in fear.
"Well, it IS the land of the dead." Lucina remarked.
"I always thought Sonic would come here first." Weiss joked.
"Real funny, ice queen. I'm surprised you haven't melted yet." Sonic glared at the heiress.
'Be careful. This land is ruled by Loki's daughter, Hela, the Goddess of Death.' Palutena warned them.
"Loki has a daughter?! Who's basically a female Hades, but possibly stronger?!" Pit replied as already mentioned before, Asgardian Gods of the Earth-616 universe are much stronger than the gods he's used to.
"Wouldn't Thanatos make more sense?" Lucina asked since Thanatos is the God of Death of Pit's world.
"Loki has hundreds of daughters. It's a norse god thing I heard. I've actually met one once." Spidey said, referencing an encounter where he helped Loki save one of his daughters from a powerful sorcereress called Morwen.
'I should follow his example. Me and Ero could use children.' Palutena joked.
'STOP DRAGGING ME INTO YOUR JOKES!' Ero shouted.
"So where's Hades and this Hela person?" Pit asked.
'This is an ENTIRELY new realm for me, Pit. They could be anywhere in the darkness. Or everywhere.' Palutena said.
"Do we have a plan?" Sonic asked.
'Stay alert. I can sense Hades's presence surrounding us.' Ero informed them.
BGM End
"Uh, that's great intel…But do you think you could be a bit more specific? Just a little bit?" Pit asked as they flew deeper and deeper in Hel, until…
"HELLO THERE!" Hades popped out of nowhere in front of them.
"MOVE!" Spidey ordered as they flew away from the lord of the dead's punch.
BGM-Kid Icarus Uprising OST-Hades's Infernal Theme
"I'VE BEEN "SO" LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR ARRIVAL, PITTY AVENGIES. I NEEDED YOUR HELP TO IMPRESS MY NEW LOVE INTEREST." Hades said.
"Love interest?" Spidey asked.
"Hades, darling…" Everyone turns to their right to see a beautiful woman dressed in green and wearing a crown made of black spikes sitting on her tall throne, petting her demonic dog. "I hope you provide me with much needed entertainment for letting you stay here." She said in a calm, seductive-like voice.
"ANYTHING FOR YOU, HELA." Hades bowed to her, even though he knows Hela could care less about him.
"So you're the Asgardian Goddess of Death, Hela." Pit said to her.
Hela chuckles, "Don't even think about fighting me, boy. I'm not interested fighting you." She said, having no interest in battling them, much to their internal relief as they don't want to deal with two powerful gods of the dead.
"You're not? But aren't you Loki's daughter?" Weiss asked her.
"I don't really care what my father does. I just play along because he amuses me. So bitter. So much hate for Odin, it's delicious, just as much as your souls will be once Hades crushes you." Hela said.
"AND CRUSH I SHALL." Hades smiled at his small adversaries. "READY TO GO?"
"Hades!" Pit exclaimed.
"PIT!"
"Hades!"
"PIT!"
"Hadeeees!"
"PIIIIITTT!"
"Was that really necessary, gentlemen?" Hela asked them.
"Uhhhhh…" Both Pit and Hades has no comment.
"No matter. Continue." Hela waved her hand to get them started.
Both the D-Avengers and Hades turn back at each other, ready for their epic showdown that Hela will certainly enjoy. "It's ON!" Pit and Hades exclaimed as they proceed to battle.
"OOH! DO I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE THE THREE SACRED TREASURES?" Hades asked as the heroes fight him and his minions.
"Even your darkness can't hide from the light!" Pit exclaimed as he shoots his light arrows at him, much to their ineffectiveness.
"I doubt those toys could hurt me." Hela commented, completely confident their power is entirely obsolete against her.
Spidey morphs into his ISO Change: Libra-Spider Mode and unleashes his Meteor Light Barrage, all directed on Hades, but they cause nothing but tickle him. "That didn't faze him…" Spidey muttered. "No matter! I'm still got more notes to play!" He quickly switches to all of his various ISO Changes and uses their special attacks on Hades, but neither of them could barely scratch him. "Something's wrong. These energy readings I'm getting from him are much higher than normal." He noticed after scanning Hades's power level.
"NOW ISN'T THAT JUST…PRECIOUS!" Hades yelled as he shoots a massive blast at Pit and Spider-Man that destroys their respective armors entirely. While Peter falls to his death, Weiss saves him using her glyphs.
"Thanks." Peter thanked her.
'NOT THE THREE SACRED TREASURES!' Palutena exclaimed when they noticed Pit's armor is completely destroyed.
"And my armor! I built that thing to withstand the HULK, and this guy shattered it like glass!" Spidey said.
"NOT QUITE SO TOUGH NOW, ARE YA?" Hades taunted them. "I'M SO GLAD I INGESTED THOSE ISO-NORN STONES. REMEMBER THOSE? AND IT'S A GOOD THING LOKI GAVE ME A NETHER STONE HEALTH INSURANCE. I MIGHT'VE BEEN IN A PICKLE." He sassily reveals he's been powered up by the Norn Stones and the Nether Stone.
"No wonder he's much stronger than usual!" Sonic remarked.
"Seems you all lost your advantage." Hela said.
"Shut it, witch!" Pit exclaimed.
"What did you call me?" Hela threatened him with a simple glare.
"I'm sorry!" Pit quickly apologized.
BGM End
"No problem. I still have the Dream Stone." Sonic reminded everyone he can power up to his ultimate form, but Hades has other ideas.
"I WONDER HOW THAT TASTE? YOU KNOW WHAT, PITTY AVENGIES? YOU "ALL" ARE LOOKING MIGHTY TASTY! DOWN THE HAAAAAAATCH!" Hades yelled, opening a large vortex in his mouth and starts to pull everyone in.
"NO NO NO NO NO!" Pit yelled.
"THIS ISN'T HOW I WANTED MY DAY TO GOOOOO!" Spidey shouted as he starts to get pulled in.
'GET OUT OF THERE, GUYS' Palutena shouted.
"TOO LATE!" Lucina shouted as they all scream while getting completely swallowed by Hades.
Hela laughs after such a wondrous display. "Not bad, not bad. But I can sense they're still alive." She told him.
"I GOT THAT COVERED, SWEETIM'S." Hades lifts his hand in mid-air, and in a quick second, summons Dark Weiss and Dark Lucina to the scene. "YOU TWO. GO INSIDE MY BELLY AND DESTROY THE AVENGERS. MAKE IT SNAPPY FOR THE LOVELY HELA." He ordered them.
"As you wish, my master." The dark commanders bowed before they are teleported into his stomach.
Somewhere disgusting…
"Uh-oh…Where are we?" Pit and Spidey find themselves lying on a squishy floor, slowly rising on their feet and take a glance of their surroundings.
"Ugh. This smell…" Spidey said in disgust, waving the disgusting odor away.
"Lady Palutena? Can you hear me? Hello?" Pit shouted but receives no reply. "I guess she can't hear me."
Peter touches his earpiece to connect with the rest of his team only to receive static. "I can't get in touch with the others. Ero, you still there?" Spidey asked.
'I never left.' Ero responded.
"Good. Any idea where we are?" Peter asked as they are quickly confronted by Handoras, who look a little more…cellular than usual. "Handoras?"
"These guys are like grosser versions of Underworld monsters. Blugh!" Pit said as they fight them.
BGM-Kid Icarus Uprising OST-Hades's Belly
'See, Hades. I told you they were still alive.' Hela's voice echoes through their minds.
"Hela!" Peter responded while kicking a cellular Handora.
'Oh my, you're right. I can't believe Pitty Pat and Silky are still alive.' Hades said.
"Hades! Where are we?" Pit asked after finishing off the last enemy blocking their path.
'Why, in the belly of the beast, of course!'
Peter's eyes widen, all paled up, "Oh god no…"
'Oh god yes!'
Pit starts to look green in the face as he holds onto his stomach, "I'm going to be sick."
'Me, too. Well, there's more than one way to get rid of a bad chicken nugget. Maybe I should just expel you the old-fashioned way.'
"NO! PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!" Pit exclaimed.
"Can't stop now!" Hades said as the whole ground starts to rumble.
"NOOOOO!" Spidey screamed.
'Whew…This is more difficult than I expected.' Hades muttered.
'That's disappointing.' Hela remarked.
"Oh man! We are NOT going out this way! That would be the opposite of a hero's death!" Pit said.
"You said it. Let's find the others and find a cleaner exit." Spidey said as he shoots a webline to swing.
"There's nothing clean in here!" Pit retorted.
"Clean-ISH exit!" Peter retorted as Pit follows him to large, squishy blocks obstructing their path.
"What are these?" Pit asked the hero nerd.
"They look to be cells, though I'm not 100% sure. I've never studied in godly anatomy." Spidey replied.
"Whatever. Let's just bust through them." Pit replied as they do just that, fighting more cellular Underworld monsters that takes them to a squishy green block.
"Wanna go up or go down?" Spidey asked his winged apprentice.
"At this point, heading up has gotta be better than heading down…" Pit replied as they carefully step on the green block, eerily feeling it's disgusting squishiness. "Ugh. Sooo…Gross…"
"And yet, this is nowhere near as bad as the time I helped Hank Pym travel through Hulk's body." Spidey said.
"Why? What for?" Pit asked.
"The details are too horrific for a young mind." Spidey said as they come across a familiar blue-haired swordsman, lying unconscious on the floor while surrounded by Hades's cell minions.
"Lucina!" Spidey exclaimed, then turns around when a purple barrier blocks their exit.
"We're trapped!" Pit exclaimed.
"Don't panic! Let's focus on saving Lucina and defeating these gelatin creeps." Spidey advised Pit.
"Okay." Pit said, taking a deep breath. "Cells of Hades, hear my words! And, um...see our actions!" He started to sweatdrop. "Uh...something something...I'm going to rain death on you! I can't remember all the words, but that's the general gist."
'Is that REALLY the best you have, little angel?' Hela taunted him as they fight off the cells surrounding Lucina.
'My innards have so longed to hear your battle cry. How could you forget the words?' Hades asked as Spidey smacks some cells with a hammer made of webbing.
"I didn't have time to rehearse. I've been busy fighting evil, OK?!" Pit remarked, grunting as he round kicks a cell Komayto off of Lucina. "Lucina, are you alright?" He asked as he helps her to her feet.
Lucina groans as she tends to her aching head. "I'm fine…Can you explain where we are?" She asked them.
"You REALLY want to know?" Spidey asked, folding his arms.
Lucina takes a second to glance at her repulsive surroundings, sniffing the air to the point of almost feeling sick. "I feel terrible…" She said with her palm over her mouth.
"Let's get you out of here, princess. We still have to find the others." Peter told her.
"Okay…" Lucina replied, still feeling a little sick to the stomach.
"Feeling a little queasy, Lukina?"
The three incredible teen heroes turn ahead to see Dark Lucina leaning on the side of a wall smiling evilishly at them. "Dark Lucina!" Pit exclaimed.
"You are a weird girl if you can handle this stench." Spidey quipped.
"Thank you, Spidey," Dark Lucina smiled as she leans off the wall and walks towards the heroes. "If you don't want to smell the "wondrous" odor here, I can fix that." She quipped as she twirls her blade in the air, catching it casually.
Lucina draws out her blade, intending on finish her fight with her dark clone. "You two go on ahead. I'll end this now." She ordered her friends.
"Try to make it quick. We don't want you to get lost." Spidey replied, turning to Pit. "Let's go." He said as they run past Dark Lucina.
"Shall we dance?" Lucina asked her counterpart.
"I'll lead. And make sure this is your last dance!" Dark Lucina smirked.
BGM End
BGM-Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep OST-Rage Awakened (The Origin)
Dark Lucina immediately jumps into the air, using her dark aura to promote herself into a Dark Great Lord, coming down with a mad slam from her blade that cracks the floor, prompting Lucina to leap away.
'Hey! Be careful in there, or you'll give me a stomach ache!' Hades said.
As Lucina lands back on the floor, she quickly style changes her suit into ElecCustom Style, brimming her blade with electricity and clashes with her clone's own dark blade. "Can't you comprehend what you're doing?!" She started talking to her clone during the clashes. "You're a puppet! Being used by villains who want to conquer other realms! Don't you have any free will at all?" She asked before they leaped away from each other.
"Couldn't care, as is my fate." Dark Lucina replied.
"Fate can be changed!" Lucina retorted.
"Really?" DL sassily replied.
"Yes, really!" Lucina retorted. "Maybe a small part of my heart stopped believing in fate and that gave rise to you. But it would seem you've never inherited my bonds with my friends, and how we used that bond to repeatedly change our fate!"
'Ugh. So cliché.' Hades commentated.
"Shut it, demon!"
"Are you done babbling yet?" Dark Lucina asked, caring less what her goody counterpart says.
"Give me another minute." Lucina muttered.
Dark Lucina lunges at Lucina, barely cutting off a bit of her hair as she rolled away. The shadow swordswoman slashes the air repeatedly, flinging dark slash beams her counterpart managed to maneuver through until she ran towards her. When she slashed, Lucina jumps over her attack and lands on the wall behind her, immediately bouncing off it when she tried to stab her, accidently stabbing the wall instead, leaving her blade stuck as she tries to rip it out. While she's distracted, Lucina charges up the electricity in her blade. With a mighty roar, she stabs the ground, releasing her electricity all around the chamber and through Dark Lucina's immobilized blade, using it as a conduit to shock the owner herself with excoriating pain. Through the pain, Dark Lucina freed her sword. But as she turned around, angry at her counterpart for shocking her, she quickly grew pale as Lucina stabbed her through the chest, critically wounding her.
BGM End
"Guess…it is possible…to change one's fate…" Dark Lucina weakly said as she slowly fades into nothingness.
Lucina silently sheathes her sword, "…Never forget." She says before rushing off to find her friends.
With Spidey and Pit…
BGM-Kid Icarus Uprising OST-Hades's Belly
"Ugh! This place's like a maze!" Spidey said as he and Pit continue exploring the insides of Hades while they continue fighting cells in search of their missing friends. "Why is the body of a god so complicated?" He asked as he web strikes a cellular Shildeen.
"If only Lady Palutena were here to help us. She'd be so grossed out." Pit said.
'Unfortunately for you, I have a stomach of steel.' Hades said.
"So that's why we can't communicate with Lady Palutena, or our friends." Pit replied.
'And you're just lost without her to do all the thinking for you, aren't you, Pitty?' Hades asked.
"She doesn't do ALL the thinking. I have ideas too. Occasionally." Pit replied.
'Then tell us, little angel. Why exactly are you trying to defeat Hades and my father?' Hela asked.
"We're all responsible for maintaining a certain order in the universe. As the Goddess of Death, you should know this better than anyone. But Hades and Loki's greed has thrown everything out of order. They've overstepped their bounds by exploiting and desecrating souls. And they've disrupted the balance between the earth, the heavens, the Underworld, and our universes." Pit answered, sort of repeating what Palutena said earlier.
'Was the big speech needed to hide your plagiarized nonsense to me?' Hela replied.
"Like I said, I have ideas too. Sometimes." Pit muttered.
'Now let's ask the same question to Silky: Why exactly are you trying to stop us?' Hades asked Spider-Man.
"Easy. Because it's my responsibility." Spidey replied.
'Responsibility? But you're just a simple mortal? You have no reason tangling with gods.' Hades said.
"No, but I can't walk away when you've put so many lives in danger. It's my job to protect the innocent. Even if my opponent is a god, I won't turn away. That's who I am." Spidey said, simple and sweet.
'You're a brave little spider. And no big speech to boot. After Pitty Pat, you're now my most second favorite person I want to kill.' Hades said, developing some respect for the Web-Slinger's heroics and never give up attitude.
"Uh…that's nice of you to say. I think?" Spidey said as they proceed through Hades's belly, fighting some more monsters as they head upward. "Where do you think we should go, Pit?" Spidey asked his angel pal.
"It looks like there's a way forward, guys." Pit said, trying to mimic Palutena's voice.
"Thanks, Lady Palutena!" He said with his normal voice.
"But you have to be careful, Pit. You're too handsome to lose." Pit said in Palutena's voice again, while Peter simply shakes his head of his antics.
"Now that's something we can both agree on!"
"You're really starting to lose it here, aren't ya?" Spidey asked him.
"No! …Maybe." Pit shamelessly replied.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. I do it all the time. I talk to a stone gargoyle when I'm in need of company." Spidey replied, referencing Bruce, the non-talking stone gargoyle he tends to talk to when he's down.
"…You live a miserable life." Pit responded to Peter's weirdness.
"Don't remind me." He said casually. "C'mon. I think I saw a grind rail up ahead." Spidey said as they approach a series of grind rails in a large chamber.
"How is there a grind rail in here?!" Pit asked.
"Maybe they're his veins." Spidey guessed as they ride them.
"Weird. I thought grind rails were, like, a gift from the gods." Pit said.
"Or construction workers." Spidey quipped.
'I'm hurt. Have you forgotten that your dear friend Hades is a god too?' Hades asked as they land on a platform with more monsters to kill.
"But why would you help us to get to our destination? What's in it for you?" Spidey asked after finishing the small fry.
'Always the optimist, Silky. Who's to say this grind rail goes anywhere at all?'
"Uh-oh." Pit muttered as he's riding already riding a rail that leads to his stomach acids.
'Just relax and enjoy the ride. Wherever you go, I'm sure you'll be dead.' Hades laughed as Pit starts to fall, only for Spidey to swing by to save him.
"I hate this place!" Pit exclaimed.
"You and me both!"
The boys turn their heads to see Weiss already fighting her crazy dark clone, Dark Weiss, on a medium-sized platform surrounded by stomach acids. "Weiss, you need help?" Spidey asked as he swings to her.
Weiss blocks a sword swing from her crazy counterpart using her rapier. "I got this! Move on ahead! I'll catch up!" She replied.
"Okay!" Peter said as he holds onto Pit tight and swings through a door, leaving Weiss to have her final battle against her dark clone.
BGM End
BGM-Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep OST-Rage Awakened (The Origin)
"This will be the last time, I'LL EVER SEE THAT DISGUSTING FACE!" Dark Weiss cackled as she changes into her Dark Maiden Style Change.
"Bring it, ugly!" Weiss taunted as she goes into her Maiden Style Change.
A dark glyph is placed in front of Dark Weiss, creating what appears to be an icy version of a Mindless One, the Dread Dormammu's one-eyed stone minions. She commands it to charge at Weiss, forcing her to leap away from the shoulder tackle. "What the heck is that?" Weiss asked herself before she's confronted by her dark self, who creates a clone of herself to double team their light half, forcing her on the defensive while they laugh crazily. 'Just what I needed. Another clone. I guess this is what Peter feels like.' She thought, breaking free from their combined assault with a windy vortex.
The heiress turns to see the Mindless One ramming for her, so she quickly hopped off its head over it as it trips on the floor. "You don't seem very bright." She quipped until she noticed her clones on her sides as they unleash devastating pillars of either water or fire that's aimed at her. Before they collided, Weiss summons the Seven Rings of Raggadorr to shield herself, but the stress quickly becomes apparent and can't keep this up for long. To even the odds, she managed to summon an Arma Gigas behind her, using the extra assistance to break free from the elemental struggle. Weiss quickly blasts one of her clones, destroying it as her Gigas clashes with the Mindless One. The one-eyed monster fires a beam from its eye, easily destroying the arm the Gigas was holding its sword, leaving it open to be lunged and pinned to the floor. The Mindless one goes for another blast, but the Gigas covers it eye before it could fire, destroying its remaining arm while the Mindless One destroys itself.
Meanwhile, the two Weiss continue to go at it, clashing their rapiers many times at incredible speeds. "Pathetic! Lame! Never knowing how to have fun!" Dark Weiss ridiculed her light self for always being a little too serious and at times bossy. She goes for another slash but Weiss jumps into the sky to avoid getting sliced.
"While I would love acting like a crazed maniac 24/7, someone has to keep my friends in line when they get in trouble, which is almost all the time." Weiss sassily replied, jumping down and dropkicks her clone to the edge of the platform that leads to the acid below. Weiss backflips to a glyph behind her and bounces off from it to kick her clone off the platform, causing her to scream while she falls to Hades's acids, finally ending her craziness.
BGM End
"Whew. Some peace and quiet." Weiss said until a bubble rises from the acids and pops to release a devastating odor, too unbearable for the heiress to handle. "Argh! I'm gonna be sick." She said, looking a little green.
Back with Spider-Man and Pit…
BGM-Kid Icarus Uprising OST-Hades's Belly
"This grind rail just keeps going…And going and going and going." Pit said while he and Peter ride a seemingly never-ending grind rail to a purple enclosed space with no exits, spotting a familiar speedy hedgehog having fun with the enemies in the area.
"Sonic!" Spidey exclaimed, getting his attention.
"Sup, guys. Glad I found ya." Sonic casually greeted while hopping off a Skuttler Cannoneer. "Was running all over this zone looking for you, then got trapped in here."
"You don't seem any worried." Pit said.
"When I ever?" Sonic grinned.
'You know, guys…I'll miss you when you're gone.' Hades said as he starts punching himself on the inside, hoping one of his punches will hit them.
"Whoa!" Sonic exclaimed, barely vaulting over a fist.
"Gah!" Spidey exclaimed as he swings over another fist.
"Augh!" Pit shouted as he ducks under one.
'Hahahaha! Surprised?'
"A little bit. How did you just punch yourself?" Spidey asked.
'Aww, now you're making me feel bad. And when I feel bad…I get hungry.' Hades starts to eat, swallowing down broken structures and more Underworld troops into the room with them.
"Waaaah!" Pit exclaimed as they rolled away from the falling debris. "What is all this?!"
"You really got eating things, man. You're already on the road to a stomachache with how many souls you've eaten." Sonic quipped.
'But souls are delicious. They're like bacon—they taste good on everything.'
"But if you eat them, you completely remove them from existence! They can't move on or...or be reincarnated!" Pit argued.
'Huh. I never really gave it much thought. Besides, what do you mean by reincarnation anyway?'
"You know, being reborn as someone or something else." Pit responded.
'Which means a different body, different memories, and different experiences, yes? So isn't being reborn as "something else" the same as being "removed from existence"?'
"No…uh…" Spidey replied as he rubs his confused head.
"I…I…Eating souls isn't right!" Pit said.
'That depends on your definition of "right." All living things survive by eating other living things.'
"So what? You're a god. You should be above all that!"
'Gods are above living things, which doesn't necessarily mean we care about them.'
"You gods need to be taught a lesson." Sonic said.
"I can't believe you just said that! That's it! In the name of the living, we WILL destroy you!" Pit declared.
'Ugh, you're so boring. I really wish you'd leave. Unfortunately for you, there's only one way out.' Hades said.
"No NO NO NO NO!"
'Cheer up. You've been PRIVY to a side of me that no one else has—my insides! And now you'll be privy to the inside of a privy too. TootleLOO!'
"OK, OK, fine. I give up. Please spare us. PLEASE!"
'Obeying the call of nature is part of the cycle of life. Tell me, Pit, why do you hate life?' Hades jokingly asked while Spidey finishes off the remaining monsters, opening a hole in the room.
"I'm getting sick of this. REALLY sick of this." Spidey said as he turns to Sonic. "Weiss and Lucina shouldn't be far away. Help them catch up." He ordered.
"On it. Back in a flash!" Sonic boosts to the other end while Spidey and Pit run towards the new hole in the stomach, running inside a white room that displays footage of Forces of Nature troops on the walls.
"What's all of this?" Spidey asked.
'It would seem the Goddess of Nature has somehow found herself in my realm. Hades. Be a dear and get rid of them for me.' Hela ordered.
'Anything for you, my love. After this, shall we go see a movie?' Hades replied.
'Now!' Hela said with a cold, threatening tone.
'Playing hard to get. Okay. Pardon me, if you will, boys. I must go entertain my guests.' Hades replied.
"Hello? If Viridi's army is attacking, they're doing it awfully quietly." Pit said.
"At least I'M doing something, Pit. You're such a slacker. Ugh!" Spidey said, mimicking Viridi's annoying voice.
Pit laughed, "You almost sound like her!"
"And just as annoying." Weiss's voice enters their ears as she, Lucina, and Sonic have finally caught up with them.
"Sweet. We're together again. Group hug?" Spidey asked.
"Maybe later, Spider-Man." Lucina smiled.
"Let's get out of here." Sonic said.
BGM End
The reunited team heads through a door, and then comes to a skidding halt when they notice a round, dark blue creature with legs, resembling something that of a heart. "Is that Hades's heart?" Lucina asked as it hops and runs away.
"Wait! Come back here!" Pit shouted.
"Are we going to attack it?" Weiss asked.
"You mean give it a "heart attack"?" Sonic grinned from his pun.
Weiss rolls her eyes, "Yeah, yeah."
"Guess we're all in agreement." Spidey said as they proceed to battle.
BGM-Kid Icarus Uprising OST-Boss Fight 1
Everyone scrambles around the arena to better fight the runaway heart. "Y'know. It's actually pretty cute. Especially when you compare it to his…bowels." Pit said as he shoots at it, forcing it to run away from him.
"Don't remind us." Weiss said with a deadpan tone, shooting enough ice pellets that forces the heart to produce a copy with a yellow aura. "Two hearts?!" She said, surprised.
Sonic boosts towards the yellow-aura heart for a powerful spin attack, causing the thing to explode and send him packing through the air before crashing down on the ground. "Now THAT was a heart attack..." He grunted while bouncing on his feet for more action.
The scared heart continues running wildly through this small maze, skidding to a halt when its path is suddenly covered by a wall of webbing. "Let me give ya a heart-felt KICK!" Spidey quipped, swinging from behind and kicks the heart to his web trap for Lucina to jump up for an air slash, damaging the heart but accidently freeing it from the webbing, allowing it to run away again.
"I thought using souls to create monsters was evil... But at least those souls are being used in some other life." Lucina pointed out, using her bow to try and get some good shots on the heart.
"But Hades and Loki have taken this too far. They've stolen so many souls from across dimensions, putting everything in chaos." Spidey said as he webs up the speedy heart.
"It's kinda like what Viridi says about humans disrupting the balance of nature." Weiss remarked as she fires on the heart with more ice attacks to slow down its rapid movement.
"But these guys are taking it too far! The whole universe is at risk because of them! They have to be stopped!" Sonic said with a quick elbow to the Heart, tripping it.
"And the only ones who can stop them are us and Lady Palutena! Now let's show them what we're made of!" Pit said.
"Right! Let's start it right now!" Spidey leaps into the air towards Hades's heart. He forms a large web hammer to smack it in the "face". Then while he's still high in the air, Spidey grabs Pit with his webbing and spins him around while the heroic angel repeatedly shoots at the heart, then quickly webs yanks Weiss up for some hardcore slashes, doing the same for Lucina so she can give it a roaring downward strike, and lastly webs Sonic higher to the air to boost down and stomp on the heart, allowing Spidey to slingshot himself for the finishing dropkick, speedily webbing it and slams it to its destruction.
BGM End
"Your heart wasn't even in it!" Spidey smirked.
"How did I know you were going to say that?" Pit asked as Hades's heart explodes, sending them all flying into the air screaming. Thankfully for them, Dark Pit zips by on the Lightning Chariot to pick them up, grabbing them out of the air as they burst out of Hades's chest.
"UGH…" Hades grunted in pain.
"If it weren't for that explosion, I never would've found you guys." Dark Pit told them.
"I'm sure glad you did!" Pit replied.
'It's good to see you guys!' Palutena smiled.
Hades growled as he stands back up. "THAT WAS VERY "NICE"!" He yelled as he reaches for them, but a bright light shines above them.
"Good-bye, Hades!" Spidey winked as they are whisked to safety before he could grab them.
Hades pulls back and looks at his empty hand, "THAT REALLY HURT." He then turns to Hela who still sits on her throne. "WELL? WAS THAT ENTERTAING ENOUGH FOR YOU, MY DEAR?"
"Oh, quite. But not enough for me to go out with you. Sorry." Hela smirked.
"NOW THAT HURT. BUT HEY…AT LEAST I'M NOT DEAD." Hades said with a pose.
Hela sighed, "Wonderful…"
BGM-Kid Icarus Uprising OST-Opening
Spider-Man: Hey, it's Spider-Man. Just our luck. Loki has almost conquered the Nine Realms and we're sitting here powerless against him.
Pit: Without your armor to finalize or the Three Sacred Treasures, what can we do? Leave Sonic all the glory?
Palutena: Cheer up, guys. I might know someone who'll give us the advantage we need.
Spider-Man: Really? Who?
Next time on D-Avengers: God Mission:
Web of Trials
Spider-Man: If it isn't my favorite old hag. Why are you here?
KFX Here: I'm gonna have some fun with this next chapter. Pit AND Spider-Man are gonna get some new equipment, while also meeting some familiar faces, among those faces is Madame Web, making a return since Flaming Web of Light and Shadow.
Question for my fans: Name ONE fancy ability you want Spidey's new "Divine Armor" to have and I MIGHT consider putting it in. MIGHT, I stress. Just wanna hear your thoughts. Fair warning: I won't put all your suggestions or else it'll be a mess.
