13
Tosh went into labour more than a week early, almost two weeks before Thanksgiving. Our daughter was born a healthy seven pounds, one ounce. We named her Aurora, which became Aury within a few hours.
I took things easy for the next couple of weeks, focusing my maternity leave time on bonding with Aury and on trying to get as much sleep as I could in between all the feedings and diaper changes. Owen fussed on Tosh as much as me too, nice to see things happening there with him finally coming out of the shadows to be at her little party to welcome her home. Before Tosh'd given birth, I'd told myself I would use my maternity leave to catch up with my painting, but by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I hadn't so much as picked up a brush. She consumed me… not that I minded.
Some of my friends who had kids, along with my sister, teased me mercilessly whenever I told them how tired I was and how my artistic plans had fallen completely out the window.
I did, however, manage to get one thing done before Thanksgiving. By the time JJ came over the Friday after Thanksgiving, things were already set up and ready to go. Though it was pretty easy, considering that everything was still in boxes waiting for JJ to start opening them.
When JJ's Mum dropped him off Friday morning, he came into the house carrying his backpack with his clothes for the weekend. He stopped in the middle of the dining room, looking around at the boxes I'd left stacked up all over the table.
"What's this?" he asked.
"It's a project I'm starting on," I told him. I set Aury down in her bassinet, then sat by the dining room table and waved JJ over. I pulled one of the boxes down and showed it to him.
"A train set? Cool!" He grinned wide, taking the box and turning it over so he could read the back and see everything that was contained in the set.
"Not just that," I said, gesturing to the other boxes. "I thought we could start a model of our own. Like the ones at the museum."
"Really?" He looked over the stacks of boxes, his eyes wide. "Can I help?"
"That's the plan." I smiled at him. "These things take a long time and a lot of work. I couldn't possibly do it on my own. I'm so busy with the baby. But if you help me, I'm sure we can get it done."
"Awesome," JJ said. He started prying open the box, struggling with it until his dad brought him a pair of scissors.
"We'll have to do everything from scratch," I said, showing JJ one of the boxes of model parts. Many of the pieces weren't assembled, and none of them were painted. I'd ordered a couple dozen boxes, getting a great deal on them thanks to my contacts through the museum. There was enough to make our own little model town, though I was sure that with us only working on it on the weekend, it would take months to complete. Maybe years, if we decided to expand the model even further.
We worked on the model for awhile, in between eating some turkey sandwiches. I had to take a break when Aury started to fuss, needing my attention.
When I got up to go check on her, I noticed JJ giving me an uncertain look. I knew this was the moment of truth. He'd already been worried about the place he'd hold in our family, now that the new baby was here. I didn't want him to feel like his needs were being pushed aside for the baby's. And having our new project to work on together was the first step towards making him understand that his contribution was valuable and helping him realize that he was still a member of the family.
I started feeding Aury, sitting back down at the table.
"Can you help with these sections of the track?" I asked JJ, nodding to the pile of train track pieces sitting on the table in front of me. "My hands are full, so I really need your help."
"Oh," JJ said. "Yeah. I got it."
He started gathering the track pieces up, sorting through them while checking the instructions. I offered some guidance where I could, but I let his hands do the work. He seemed to enjoy having control over the project, doing some hands-on work and offering some much-needed help. I made sure to tell him how grateful I was for all the hard work he was doing while I was so busy with the baby.
"I could really use your help with a lot of things, actually," I said.
"Like what?"
"Well, taking care of the baby is hard work. I'm exhausted all the time. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep. So I'm kind of falling behind on getting stuff done around the house. And I know your Mum already gives you an allowance…" I leaned in and whispered to him conspiratorially. "…but I could pay you one too, if you could lend me a hand?"
JJ grinned. I was sure the idea of some extra pocket money was the icing on the cake. Though for me, the more important part was making him feel needed and useful.
"Yeah, okay," he said. "I can help."
He looked down at Aury, a thoughtful look on his face. "Is taking care of her really that hard?"
I nodded. "Harder than you think. It's a full time job taking care of a baby. Which is why I really need all the help I can get. And she could use a big brother who can help make sure she gets taken care of."
He studied her adorable little face. I could tell he was seeing her in a new light. She wasn't just "the baby" anymore. It was starting to sink in that she was his little sister. And that put him in the very important role of big brother.
"Can I hold her?" he asked.
I smiled. It was the first time he'd asked to hold her.
When he'd come to visit us at the hospital after she was born, he'd just stood back and watched.
"I'm sure she'd like that," I said.
He sat down and I handed the baby to him, showing him how to support the head and make sure she was comfortable. JJ grinned, looking quite proud of himself.
"She's so tiny."
"She is," I said. "That's why she needs her family to help take care of her."
"I can help," he said. "I'm her family, too."
I felt tears starting to well in my eyes. I looked up and saw Jack standing across the room, watching us, a proud smile on his face.
"Yes, you are," I told JJ. "And no matter what happens, you always will be."
THE END
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Thanks for reading this, it is one I never really saw going forward and am glad it saw the light of day. Be well.
