...zzz. Bzzz.
Bzzzz. Bzzz.
Bzzzz. Bzzz-
Stretching into the warmth surrounding him, Taehyung whined pathetically, his toes curling as he was reluctantly dragged towards wakefulness. Clinging lethargy hindered the struggle, but eventually, he was blinking tiredly against the darkness, the room slowly coming into focus as his eyes adjusted.
Even if he hadn't been able to see the small digital alarm clock happily beaming its 2:19 am time stamp in bright neon orange, Taehyung would have instinctively known it was ridiculously early-
Bz. Bz.
To his right, precariously balanced on the edge of the small side table his phone lit up with the dull glow of notification.
A text?
He struggled briefly with the blanket and the concept of his arms being enfolded somewhere within, before giving up and rolling burrito style onto his side, propping himself up on one fabric swathed elbow to peer at the dim-lit screen of his phone.
A missed call notification scrolled across the top of the screen.
From Seojoon-hyung.
Taehyung chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully; he was supposed to be meeting with the actor at some point over the next few days, schedules permitting. Both Hyungsik and Seojoon were supposed to get in touch as soon as they knew what days suited but... 2am? Really?
Was this hyung drunk again?
As he contemplated turning over and going straight back to sleep, his phone buzzed again, announcing an incoming text.
Taehyung sighed and sat up slowly, the blanket pooling about his waist to free the one limb that had managed to find his pajama armhole, and he threaded the other through with a snort.
He picked up his phone and opened the message app-
Seojoon-hyung: 'Call me.'
Frowning, Taehyung thumbed the message open, but a second message came through before he could reply or call as requested.
Seojoon-hyung: 'TaeTae, You're worrying me-'
And almost immediately, a third.
Seojoon-Hyung: 'This is fake news, right?'
And there was a title below in hyperlink blue-
'Kpop's BTS in Gimhae Plane Crash?'
Taehyung blinked, his free hand coming up to rub at tired eyes as he stared at the link.
He had to be reading that wrong.
He blinked again.
Nope. Not reading that wrong.
"Because that's not half disturbing..." he muttered under his breath, before shaking his head with bemused confusion. Disturbing, but hardly worth thinking about at 2am.
He flicked a quick reply text to Seojoon, 'I'm fine, hyung. Go back to sleep.'
Dropping the phone onto the mattress, Taehyung flopped onto his back to stare at the ceiling, a strange unsettledness seeping into his bones, leaving him restless and jittery.
They were no stranger to the whole 'fake news' phenomena that surrounded the industry; amateur reporters or so-called 'fans' tempted into augmenting suggestions of truth, or simply all-out manufacturing sensationalist reports that could cause waves of panic and pandemonium as they spread and went viral-
For the 'views'. The 15 minutes of fame. Recognition.
'Gay rumors surround 'x''
'X' & 'X' are dating'
'X 'is mean and offensive off camera.'
'X is leaving their company'
'X has been kicked from their group'.
Usually baseless, or at least so far from the actual truth to be laughable. Except Taehyung had seen it derail not just the idol in questions career, but whole groups, indeed- entire companies.
This though-
'Kpop's BTS in Gimhae Plane Crash?'
He shivered as the words floated behind his closed lids; this was too far. This was- lives.
Their lives.
Why would someone post something like that?
Why so specific. And with undercurrents of such...
It wasn't a creation of wild fantasy; they had flown out of Gimhae.
To be so precise-
Suppose his parents saw it?
Or Jiminie's.
Or Koo-
Kookie, who hadn't come home with them.
Who'd also flow out of Gimhae-
Taehyung licked his lips, biting his lower as he clenched his fists-
This was exactly what he'd meant; how could anyone possibly think it was clever, funny even, to cause someone to feel this-
This sickening feeling of dread, because no matter how unlikely or even impossible; nothing could dissuade the ridiculously persistent tendril of ' But what if...'
Scooping the phone back into his grasp and thumbing through the lock screen, Taehyung opened the text again, and hit the link, opening the webpage.
At first glance it was obviously a fan run page, all seven of their faces splashed across the bright banner, and heart emoticons scattered through the list of navigation options dotted down the left side of the screen. Taehyung relaxed as his instinctual apprehension faded with the confirmation of what logic and reason had already been telling him.
And then he scrolled down-
The grainy video footage was so jarringly out of place on the youthful webpage that for an instant Taehyung stared without comprehending, and then a flicker of red caught his eye and drew his focus like a moth to flame-
Flame, coiling and twisting, glowing with sparking embers beneath billowing black smoke that poured out of the cockpit of the destroyed aircraft, the mangled wreck of the body of the plane spread across the field-
The caption beneath the video curled across the page in cotton-candy pink loops.
"An army thinks BTS was on this flight! Please tell me it's not true! I don't want to believe it! Does anyone know!?"
Taehyung found himself scrolling into the comments, desperate for the answer.
"I'm not parte of the fandom, but I hear the musics and I like this group. I hope it is a lie, but if not, my feelings to the Fandom. You must be strong, even it is very hard, but you need to stay strong e still giving your love to BTS and the rest of Fandom. I hope God will comfort you. Much love for all.
~ ArohaWho!
Well, we all gonna die, so people stop complaining about this and that, not like he's memeber of your family.
~WhoCares.
PLS BE A MISTAKE
~ WheresMyArmies?
OMG I am in utter shock and tears. Praying this isn't true! Why such a talented, hard-working, inspiring, respectable, kind, and creative group. I just can't believe it. BTS brought me much happiness in my down times whether it's the music or shows and I am heartbroken. My heart goes out to them, their families, close friends, and fans!
~KorinaMaiTai
no... please no... i can't accept this. this is too much for me :(( i love them so much. it's so hard to accept this, really. It's not real. It can't be true- ~BangTaeTannie
Hope this is just a fake news. I hope that when I wake up in the morning there will be a news saying that everything is fine.
~Anon
Im really really really really shock when hear this news. I hope this is a hoax . What Will happen with BTS then ? :(
~FredFalicy
can't stop crying. Honestly I can't believe this. Why? I feel so much pain right now and I can't imaging the amount from BTS families. I'm broken beyond belief. ~CryingDyingWhying
I can't believe this. I literally have no words. This is devastating.
~ JoonieJams
Pls tell me this is a joke... pls tell me this isnt real...i havent read it yet bc i dont want it to be real..this isnt real right? Right?!
~RockforPresident
"This isn't real, right? Right?" Taehyung whispered into the silence of the room.
There was no way this could be real.
No way.
They'd know. If this-
If something had happened, someone would have called them. They'd- they'd just know.
Surely.
Not at all caring that it was after 2am, Taehyung navigated through his phone with a series of disjointed flicks and slides, hitting Kookie's contact with an almost desperate fervor-
It didn't ring; Jungkook's voice spilling into the silence of the room, "Hi, This is Jeon Jungkooki- Kook. Jungkook. Hyung, you made me say it! You're so- The message Kook-ah? Oh- I'm not here, please leave a message! ... You're dead, hyung! Get back he- "
The message bank intro cut off on giggles and threats, and the 'leave a message' tone beeped-
Taehyung stared at the phone.
This was-
This was ridiculous.
Kookie was just asleep. Or he'd turned his phone off to save battery during the flight (never mind that Jin-hyung had reminded him to charge it like seven billion times the night before) and hadn't turned it back on. Or even more likely, it was actually flat because he'd ignored Jin-hyung the night before.
Jungkook hadn't been in a plane crash.
It was ridiculous. Impossible.
And yet, it didn't matter how many 'he'd just' scenarios Taehyung came up with, his mind kept dragging that horrific video footage to the fore, and his eyes wouldn't stop running through the comments-
"Lost-"
"Devastated!"
"Cant be True"
"Crying..."
"How am I supposed to-"
"Bodies in the wreckage..."
"Not my babies! Please-No!"
"Take their place if I could-"
"Just horrific- Why?"
He needed-
He needed someone who would take one look at him and drag him into a hug. Someone who would tell him he was being silly and wipe the tears that burned at his eyes. Someone who would reassure him and tell him it wasn't true.
He needed one of his hyungs.
Dragging himself upright, the tangled blankets trailing after him to come free and lie abandoned on the floor, Taehyung glanced at the empty beds on either side of the one he'd vacated.
It wasn't that unusual for rooms to be empty though, what with the seemingly continuous game of musical beds that they engaged in. It would not surprise him at all if Jiminie had managed to coax all four of their hyungs into a cuddle pile. Any other instance and Taehyung might have felt more than a little left out and envious. Right now, he didn't care though, so long as they were there to be found.
Two steps into the hallway and he heard the voice floating from downstairs, channeled upward by the staircase.
What was Namjoon-hyung doing up? Taehyung shook his head, suddenly unconcerned. Namjoon being up was exactly what he needed.
Taehyung heard it from the top step.
"It's - Sejin said- There were survivors." Namjoon's strangely empty voice choked out, louder than moments ago, as if no longer addressing whoever was on the phone, but someone in the room with him.
Tonight, after what Taehyung had just read online...there was only one logical explanation for that sentence
This was- this was real. This was happening.
The heavy weight dropped low in his stomach, setting his gut churning uncomfortably and Taehyung desperately tried to avoid thinking the words-
Jungkook had been in a plane crash.
Jungkook's plane had crashed.
A plane crash.
How was that even-
A Plane-
His brain swam with utter disbelief; a complete inability to process even the thought of the idea, let alone the actual reality of the situation.
How could this be happening? How could-
And survivors?
Survivors.
As in people who had not? Not survived?
As in, people who had - died.
Died in the plane crash. The plane crash that Kookie-
Lightheaded in a way that should have alarmed him, should have sent him scrambling for the nearest hyung and horizontal surface; Taehyung stumbled forward, lurching down the staircase that seemed poised to drop away beneath his feet with each step.
How could-
This wasn't the sort of thing that happened.
Plane crashes, and dongsaengs in plane crashes-
Just didn't happen.
Jungkook-
This didn't happen to Jungkook.
Just didn't.
He stepped off the bottom step, looking up to find-
Everyone.
Taehyung took two sidling steps to the left and stilled.
Now everyone.
Except-
Except Jungkook.
Because Jungkook was-
Maybe a survivor.
Maybe not a survivor.
Not a survivor. Dead.
Every last ounce of breath was punched from lungs that shriveled into the cavity of his stomach and his chest ached like his heart had engorged to ten times its regular size, pushing his ribs to arch against skin that thinned and stretched agonizingly-
Namjoon appeared in front of him, his eyes holding a desperate sort of reassurance, or perhaps just desperation to reassure-
"Don't touch me", it tumbled from his lips before Taehyung could consciously realize as paralyzing fear spread through his body like icy, liquid metal. He clenched his fists at his sides, nails digging little crescent moons into his palms. If Namjoon tried to touch him right now, tried to hug him, to comfort him, Taehyung thought he might just fall apart. He'd tear at the seams and rip into tattered pieces that couldn't ever be put back together the same.
"Don't touch me-" he all but begged and Namjoon backed off. Taehyung felt his legs go jelly-like beneath him, forcing him to the ground in a slump.
His bag was still where he'd dumped it at to the left of the foot of the stairs as he'd traipsed through the house earlier, his bright yellow headphones glaringly obvious where they were caught in the zipper, tangled through the shoulder strap. It was the effort of seconds to drag the bag into his lap and pull the tiny buds up and press them into his ears, closing his eyes on Namjoon's desperation to be needed.
The hollow plastic did nothing to block the weight of unacknowledged devastation that enshrouded the room, but Taehyung found he could nearly ignore that if he focused on the echoing thump of his own racing heartbeat.
Namjoon's phone rang.
Taehyung tried to not listen, tried to not hear-
He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to think about what it would mean-
Nothing stopped Namjoon's words from filtering through, slightly faded, a little muted, but still as clear as cut crystal. "How- I mean, we didn't even see anyone- never mind. It doesn't matter now. Just- …. What about Mr. and Mrs. Jeon? "
Mr. and Mrs. Jeon. Jungkook's parents. The sudden roar of blood in his ears drowned out anything else Namjoon said for the next several seconds. This was-This was raw agony. Like his insides were being bathed in acid. Jungkook was his- Kookie was his little brother, his friend. Best friend; one of them.
But he was their son. Their baby.
And Taehyung hadn't even considered them.
Taehyung thought the sudden broken wail was his own, so neatly did it parallel his heart-shattering anguish, only-
He'd recognize that voice anywhere; even shredded almost beyond recognition with agonizing grief.
Jimin; although not as Taehyung had ever hear him.
But Taehyung hadn't needed to hear Jimin, emotionally eviscerated and left for dead, to know. He hadn't needed to hear Jin-hyung begging for mercy to know. Hadn't needed to hear Yoongi-hyung so wrecked with refusal of the entire situation that he was physically, violently ill.
Something shattered.
Taehyung heard Hoseok scream and he knew.
It didn't matter that he didn't get to see the TV screen before it hit the floor and faded to black.
Hoseok-hyung wasn't wrathful, wasn't rage. He was heart and strength and love, now crippled by debilitating pain. Fear. Loss.
Anger just hurt less and didn't need to be acknowledge or controlled- just felt.
He could feel it rippling beneath his own skin, a desperate need to lash out; to randomly fling grenades in the futile hope of somehow delaying or destroying the true pain that shadowed on his peripheral.
Taehyung licked his lips; skin chapped and rough beneath his tongue-
The little tube sat in the center of his palm; white plastic wrapped with a brown sticker. Taehyung licked his dry, chapped lips and glanced up at Jungkook with a raised eyebrow.
"What? It was just on the counter. Jin-hyung's gonna blow his top if he has to tell you to stop licking your lips again...Besides, it's beeswax. It's even got a bee on it see. Get it? 'B'" Jungkook explained casually, deliberately mispronouncing 'V' moniker, as had been very common earlier in their career.
Jungkook was blowing it off as meaningless, merely a passing thought, but Tae knew better. He'd noticed Kookie checking every shop they'd walked past on their way through the airport lounge earlier but hadn't known what the younger had been looking for.
Thoughtful brat.
Taehyung needed that chapstick. If he could just find that chapstick-
If he could find it, he –
He dug into the bag in his grasp, rifling-
Phone. He discarded it as useless on the floor. His glasses followed. Wallet. House keys. Bag of lollies. Passport. Bracelet. Spoon. Phone Charger. Deodorant. Chopstick. Coins. Receipt. Notebook. Pen. Passport. Hat. Chapstick-
Chapstick that did absolutely nothing to change the situation. The pull of festering grief threatened to take over and destroy him entirely. It was almost as if part of his heart were eroding, leaving a gaping hole in a very specific shape.
Clutching the tiny tube to his chest, Taehyung dropped his head back, closing his eyes against the gathering sting, as the walls he'd desperately been building started cracking at their weak foundations.
This was not a situation he was going to be able to ignore. No amount of denial was going to-
He dropped the Chapstick back into the messy pile of useless objects that suddenly had no significance to him anymore. Things that might never matter again.
Because Jungkook wasn't ever coming home.
Jungkook was dea-
There was a passport under the chapstick.
Slightly to the left, half hidden under his wallet was another.
With shaky fingers Taehyung plucked the first passport from the floor, fumbling as he opened the id page-
Jungkook's babyface stared back.
The lightheaded rush of sudden and overwhelming relief had white spots hazing across his vision, and he blinked desperately to clear them. Taehyung tried to fight it. Tried to tell himself not to get his hopes up, that it might not mean what he thought it could mean. Should mean.
Namjoon-hyung would know.
Namjoon-hyung had to know.
Dragging himself to his feet, passports clutched in aching fists, Taehyung walked across-
Just a room, for all that it felt like the aftermath of a battlefield, when all that was left was spilled blood, agony and loss-
Namjoon's eyes were clenched closed and Taehyung had never known what despair looked like in a physical sense, until now.
If he was wrong, this would be worse than-
But if he was right? If he was right-
If he was right then Namjoon wouldn't need to look like he was already broken, and Jimin wouldn't need to cry like that. Jin wouldn't need to beg any more, and Yoongi wouldn't be swaying where he knelt. Hobi wouldn't hurt like that.
None of them would.
If he was right.
"Hyung-"
And then Namjoon was looking at him, the sheer unadulterated pain in his eyes so overwhelmingly visible that Taehyung's throat closed-up, as he choked on unnamed emotion. Because Namjoon was somehow bearing all that, and yet he was still looking at Taehyung. Thinking about Taehyung. Caring about Taehyung.
"H-hyung- Can- I. C-can Jungk- " Taehyung struggled against the crack of his voice, the tightening that signaled tears; and then he was being pulled against Namjoon's chest, cradled- and his words tried to desert him completely.
He had to be right.
"Passport! I have- " he somehow managed to force the fraught explanation out between trembling lips that tasted of salt and bitterness and hope-
Such hope.
Bzzzz. Bzzzz.
Bzzzz. Bzzzz.
Bzzzz. Bzzzz Taehyung finally the near silent background buzz as his cellphone.
Bzzzz. Bzzzz.
Bzzzz. Bzz….
