Seung Gil finally makes a decision about the party! But first, we're going to visit Phichit in his dreams. Sound odd? It may be, but it was also fun to write hahha


On more than one occasion with my last ex, I had the same type of dream when I'd sleep next to him. Actually, sometimes it'd happen when we weren't even in the same city. It also happened once when I accidentally fell asleep at Celestino's place when we drank too much. In these dreams, life is good; I walk around with a sense of calm, a sense of contentment. Various things have happened in these dreams, like walking along an unfamiliar sidewalk or running after someone, or something, I can't see. I sometimes have the feeling of being tired in the dream, and kind of annoyed that I can't seem to find what I'm looking for. At some point, I'd run into my ex, or Ciao Ciao in that once instance. He'd smile at me, and we'd share a laugh over some confusing dialogue that I'll never remember. The dream version of us will go on some adventure, maybe shopping or heading to an unknown destination, or whatever. I get this feeling of being ridiculously happy and decide right then and there to say I love him. The words never sound right, like if I'm saying them from a mile away or from behind a wall. Just as my dream ex would take a step closer, my body returns to consciousness to end the dream. Rather abruptly, I might add. I always hated getting those dreams. Like, why do I have to wander around so much, and why can't I get those three words said back to me? I always shook the feeling off, and I'd sometimes wake my ex up and get him to say the words my dreams never allowed me to hear; reality has more weight than a silly dream, after all.

Now, this current dream is mostly familiar but rather new at the same time. I'm walking around on a sidewalk. The buildings around me sort of look like downtown, but I don't actually recognize anything. I feel at ease, as usual; it's a nice day and there's no trace of irritation yet. The further I walk, the more expectant I feel. What am I looking for? I start to worry, just slightly, that I'll never find whatever it is I'm keeping my eyes open for; I'll just keep searching and searching for a phantom. Right when I turn a corner, I bump into a face I'd know anywhere: it's Seung Gil! He looks kind of nervous, but I can't imagine why. I also can't imagine why he has his hands behind his back like that, like he's hiding something. I point at him, asking what he's got back there.

Even in my dreams, Seung Gil Lee isn't one for words. He smiles, though, and shows me what he's holding: a fluffy little puppy! It's the cutest little thing, tail wagging and itty bitty paws scrambling for purchase in his hands.

With many thanks, I hold the dog to me, cradling her like a newborn. How do I know it's a female dog? I just do, I guess. I've never had a dog before, but excitedly tell my boyfriend that I'm happy and grateful for the gift. Then a thought occurs to me: he's gone through the trouble of selecting the most adorable dog on the planet for me, and I have no animals to give him in return. What am I supposed to do? I apologize, going so far as to ask for forgiveness, and explain that I don't have a dog for Seung Gil.

He shrugs and suggests we can share the dog: she'll be ours, not just mine.

This idea is brilliant to me, and I tell him he's so smart and considerate. It's apparently the best idea I've ever heard and he's apparently the best person I've ever met. That's when I tell him something I haven't actually said in real life: I tell him I love him.

Now, this is the part where I'm supposed to wait on bated breath for no response and jolt myself awake at his side and pester him to say it back. However, I'm still on the path to feeling this way about him in the waking world; we haven't exchanged such words in real life, and I'm sure it's not the right time or place to say them now. The me in my dream is very forward, though, and let the words loose on Seung Gil without hesitation. I should've woken up by now, but I'm still in my dream with a dog in my arms as my boyfriend tells me he loves me, too…wait, did I hear that right? Nobody has ever said that to my dream self before! I don't get to see what happens next because something hits me in the side, waking me from an entirely new dream experience, but I'm still smiling; I can't help it. It looks like an arm around me is what woke me. Seung Gil is still asleep, breathing against my shoulder. I gently rest my hand on his arm, processing the imaginary events I'm quickly forgetting.

One: I didn't get mad at not being able to find what I was searching for. Two: I found it, and it was Seung Gil. Three: he gave me a present instead of taking me on another fruitless journey. Four: I didn't wake up after my admission. Five: the words were said back to me. Oh, and six: I woke up smiling without the urge to wake him up, too. I've had eerily similar dreams several times before and they've never gone down this way.

"You awake?" Seung Gil's sleepy words break my focus, the remnants of my dream finally slipping away.

"Sort of." I yawn, still tired.

Last night, we watched a movie trilogy and didn't get to bed until an unreasonable hour; he didn't complain or nod off once. "Still early?"

It's still quite dark out, so I nod. "I think so."

We've seriously only gotten a few hours of sleep? No wonder I yawn again. Seung Gil tightens his hold on me, sigh caressing the back of my neck. "More sleep now." His mumbled words may or may not form a real sentence, but I take them as sound advice. Maybe I'll have the dream again and get to see what happens. At any rate, we both need our beauty rest and I'd like to take advantage of this solid gold snuggling. Without a word, I agree to this sleep plan and relax into his arms, still smiling.

The next thing I can discern in my drowsy state is something brushing against my cheek, then mouth. When I blink my eyes open, a blurry Seung Gil comes into view, too close for my half-asleep eyes to clearly make out. What's that sweet taste on his lips? I hold him in place, licking at the flavor until its source clicks: "Hot chocolate?" I chuckle.

Seung Gil really likes this game, sneaking his way past my lips instead of confirming my guess. I can't complain: the man is a talented kisser. "Want some?"

"I've got some here." I smirk, going in for more deep, chocolate kisses. I can't help but notice that he's dressed in addition to obviously having gotten out of bed at some point to obtain the drink in question; I wonder how long he's been up. Sloppy, sleepy kisses seem like a much better idea than putting on a shirt and getting out of bed to me, though. "How long have you been up?" I ask between gasps for breath. Seung Gil shrugs.

"Probably half an hour." He wipes the corner of his mouth with his thumb, sitting up. "I came back to check on you, and you were smiling in your sleep."

I don't like how far he is from me, so I sit up, too. My hands rest comfortably at his waist while his sit at my lower back. "I was? That happened earlier, too." All my mouth wants to do is find his; it feels like home and acceptance.

"What, smiling in your sleep?" Seung Gil looks incredulous. I nod, making him laugh lightly. "How do you know you were smiling if you were asleep?"

I laugh into our kiss, amused at the thought of being awake and asleep at the same time. "You're hilarious. I woke up smiling, so I assume I must've been doing the same while asleep." I explain between kisses to his cheeks, nose, forehead. "I had a good dream."

"What was it about?"

Honestly, I don't remember all of it. I remember a puppy, Seung Gil and an exchange of words, but I think the whole experience was what made me smile, not the dream's individual components. Instead of explaining all of this, I just smile and say: "You were in it." This earns me a gorgeous smile and a flood of color across his face. He doesn't say it, but I think hearing that I like being with him puts him in a good mood. I mean, it is a pleasant thing to hear from someone; I know I appreciate hearing that sort of thing.

"Do you want to watch the snow with me?" He asks, almost shyly. I adore that dimple in his cheek, the one that only appears when he smiles just so.

"I have to get dressed first, but yeah. I'll meet you in the living room."

After he leaves, I rummage through his overnight bag: the contents are spilling out, so I don't need to search far to find the shirt he wore last night or the knit cap he brought in case we go out. Does it seem overbearing to wear so much of Seung Gil's clothes? I don't want him getting the wrong idea that I'm, like, clingy or something, but his shirt feels and smells cozy and the hat looks cute on him and I want to look cute, too; I'll wear my own pants, then. I think it'd come across as more possessive if I wore his sweats, so I definitely won't. Ugh, now I'm thinking about this too much. Does he even want me to wear his stuff? He's never said no, but maybe I should've asked. When I find him on the sofa, he's staring out the window as tiny flakes whirl around in the breeze. He notices me standing nearby, gesturing with his steaming mug at a matching cup on the table. "Made you some. I don't think I added too much cinnamon, but I could be wrong." Seung Gil chuckles and resumes watching the weather, unaware of how erratic he's just made my heart beat. When did I tell him I add cinnamon to my hot chocolate? How did he even remember that? Shaking my head, I remind myself I'm supposed to ask him about borrowing shirts and not get distracted by his kindness. He turns to me when I sit, sampling my drink. "Is it okay?" More than okay; the only thing that could make it better is sesame shortbread cookies to go with it, but those are long gone. I nod, too busy drinking to properly respond. Seung Gil smirks, amused at my reaction. "That spice was given to Greek gods as a gift, you know. And to ancient Egyptian kings."

I lick my lips, savoring the warm taste to the fullest. "Mm, thank you. I did not know that. They had excellent taste." His eyes pause at the hat on my head, blinking once. My hand instinctively reaches to it. "Um, I know it's kind of late, but do you mind? Like, me wearing your stuff? I know I should've asked before, but I didn't think to, and…um, yeah." Real smooth.

"You always wear my stuff."

Not really an answer. "Is that okay with you?"

"Sure it is." He shrugs. "If it bothered me, I would've told you." Well, I suppose that might be true. There are some things that I know he wouldn't say, though. If I put on a shirt that he wanted to wear, he wouldn't say to take it off or that he'd rather have it; he'd just put on something else. This isn't an issue, but makes me wonder if it could be in other instances. When I asked him about the party, I felt so guilty, as if I was convincing him to do something he'd rather not do. He said that wasn't the case, but we haven't talked about the party since and it only adds to my guilt. "Phichit?" Seung Gil moves closer to me, abandoning his cup. "You okay?"

"Yeah. You know how I invited you to my friend's party, the one in a couple days?" I watch him nod, eyes wide with concern. "Was that…too pushy of me? Or too forward?"

Now he frowns, biting his bottom lip. "What do you mean?"

I sigh, hating how insecure I sound. I mean, I know I can be a lot to handle; there's a lot of personality in these bones. But it's hard to explain out loud. "I go out with my friends a lot, as you know. I like being around people and having places to go, but that's who I am; it's not necessarily who you are. Sometimes I can be pushy, and that's not on purpose." I hug my legs to my chest, resting my chin on my knees. "That, and we haven't been dating that long? You'll have other chances—I mean, I think we'll have other chances—for you to meet my friends in the future. I don't want to go too fast too soon. Am I doing that? Because I'm not trying to. You said you wanted to try being more social and I just want to help. I thought this would be a helpful experience." Why the hell do I keep rambling? The filter from brain to mouth is seriously lacking, and I just know the heat rushing to my face means embarrassing redness there.

"Is that why you think I haven't said yes?"

Okay, maybe I hadn't thought of it in those terms, but… "Maybe." I groan. "It's not like I'll be upset if you say no! I'd just hate to think that by trying to be closer to you, I'm pushing you away." I hate to admit it, but my clinginess has had a hand in ruining relationships before. "Being clingy isn't cute."

Seung Gil shakes his head, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Well that's excellent. With another groan, I hide my face and wait for the sofa to swallow me whole. "Uh, that sounded bad. I mean that…I don't think you're being clingy or pushy." He explains. I don't come out of my hiding place, shoulders sagging. "It's not too much too fast. It's not an unreasonable invitation. I already told you that I want to go. I want to do things you like and be a better me." He starts like there's more on his tongue, but decides to exhale instead, hands on either side of my face. "P, please look at me." I follow through with his request, but pout as well. "Is this really about the party?"

"Let's just say that I've been called overbearing and needy in the past when I asked why I was being dumped." I roll my eyes, annoyed at how miserable I sound. "I don't want any pity."

"Come here." Seung Gil tugs at my arms.

"Why?" I sigh.

"Come here." He repeats, and I relent, falling into a hug. "That hasn't been a problem yet." Yet? Is that supposed to make me feel better? "I like your personality. Do you want me to tell you if I think you're being a handful?"

If I say yes, I'll have to trust that he'll follow through. "If I stop being my best self, please say something."

Seung Gil chuckles; a weight falls away from me, air returning to my lungs. "Do the same for me."

I pull back to look him in his eyes; so deep, so captivating. "You're astonishingly easy to talk to. Do you know that?" I shake my head in disbelief. "No bullshitting at all." This makes him laugh, but I don't know why. "What's so funny? It's a rare trait for a person to have!"

"Nobody has ever considered me easy to talk to. Not in my entire life."

"They clearly never talked enough with you, then, Mr. Lee." I reply without much thought. However, it becomes quite clear that Seung Gil considers this comment as very thoughtful: my face gets peppered relentlessly with kisses until I'm laughing too much. "Babe! What're you doing?" Sometimes Seung Gil can be spontaneous in his own right; it's charming.

He pulls away at last, grinning. "Let's go make lunch."

Being in the kitchen usually improves my mood, especially when Seung Gil comes across a song in his head and decides to sing it out loud. He never sings very loudly and doesn't always know all the words, but his voice is melodic and calming and always cheers me up. After deciding we'll make stir fry noodles, he starts singing an unfamiliar little tune while slicing chicken. If that isn't stupidly adorable enough, the man starts to dance in place, swaying his hips and moving his shoulders. I laugh, shaking my head. "Please don't cut yourself."

He doesn't stop dancing, setting the knife aside and showcasing his work. "Already done." Seung Gil scoops up the meat and resumes his singing, filling the pan evenly.

I wish I knew this song so I could sing with him. At the same time, it's nice to stand back and watch him star in his own performance; it isn't often that he steps in the spotlight, and it probably isn't even on purpose that he's doing so now. "Can you grab the container of chopped carrots and peppers?" I ask since I've started the noodles.

Still dancing, he moves to the fridge. "Do I have to?" Seung Gil asks in the tune of his song. I laugh, nodding, and get a snippy eye roll in return.

"Yes, in fact, you do."

He tosses the container to the counter, sitting up beside it with a pout. "Are you adding all of them?" The music in his head has evidently stopped at the mere thought of ingesting vegetables. "Maybe you could just put some?" In all honesty, there's less than a whole carrot and maybe half a bell pepper; he'll live, I'm sure: in the pan they all go. Seung Gil sighs, leaning back. "Why do you hate me?"

I don't even get a chance to breathe before laughter spills out, honest and unyielding. "You're ridiculous!" My words don't come out right when my lungs are struggling. When I straighten up and get some proper air, I shake my head. "You are something else, my friend."

"Is it my fault those are gross?" Seung Gil scoffs with a smirk.

"At least it isn't spinach or broccoli." I tap my chin in thought. "Actually, I may have some in the fridge somewhere…"

"Phichit."

Such a serious tone! I laugh again, deciding he's had enough teasing for the moment. "Alright, alright." I nudge his leg, getting back to the stove. "What was that song you were singing, anyway? I don't think I've heard it before."

"I don't know." He shrugs, absently swinging one leg at the knee. "Heard it at work yesterday. Or the day before? I don't remember."

"You have to get up so early." Considering how little he actually sleeps, 7 AM is pretty brutal. "And with barely any sleep. It's a wonder you can even do your job. I'd be falling asleep at my computer if I were you." The other night, he didn't sleep until I was almost done with my shift; four hours later, he was getting ready for work.

He licks his lips in thought. "I don't need a lot of sleep."

"But four hours on a weeknight?"

"I'm serious. It's not that bad." He says more, but it's mumbled and the food is sizzling too loudly for me to hear.

"Wait, what'd you say?" I lower the heat to decrease the noise.

"I said I sleep better with you." Seung Gil practically shouts, instantly turning red at his volume. "Sorry. I…I said that really loud. I don't always sleep more, but I sleep better with you there. Even if it is for only a few hours." He explains. "You're warm and stuff."

Having my schedule means missing entire mornings and staying up all night; I sleep when most people work and work while everyone's asleep. It's made things complicated and unpleasant before, especially when people can't meet me in some sort of middle ground. Naturally, Seung Gil is different: there are days when I get out of bed and meet him for a meal, going back to my place to hang out before work while he listens to my show and sleeps in my bed until I get back; then we get to spend a few hours in bed before he leaves for work. I learned early on that his schedule virtually stayed the same after we started dating; no compromising, no unpleasantness, no problem. Having an insomniac boyfriend has its perks, I think. "You're the first person I've meet who hasn't complained about my schedule."

"I am?"

I nod, finishing up our meal. "Yeah, you sorta fit right in it." He hums in thought but stays quiet. "You really sleep better beside someone?"

"Beside you." Seung Gil smirks.

Flattered, I smile. "I'm glad." Shortly after the words leave my mouth, he hops down from the counter and stands next to me, silent. I turn, blinking at his shining eyes. "Seung Gil?"

"I'll go."

He wants to leave, now? I don't understand what's happening. "Wait, what do you mean?"

The confusion and, yes, disappointment must be pretty obvious because he grabs me by the shoulders with this weird look on his face. "That sounded shitty! Sorry, I meant the party." The rush of color from Seung Gil's complexion starts to fade. "I'll go with you to your friend's party." Oh, that's what he meant?! I cover my laugh.

"I thought you meant leave! You confused me." I shake my head and pat one of his hands. "You really want to go?"

Seung Gil nods, a small smile growing. "Yeah, I do."

"It'll be fun." Hopefully this sounds reassuring and not terrifying.

"Can I ask for a favor?" He slides his hands down my arms, lacing our fingers together. I nod for him to continue. "Don't…uh, don't leave me alone with strange people. I'm not saying you'll ditch me, but I won't know anyone else but you, so…"

That's not a favor: that's a given! "Absolutely. I'll be with you the whole time. If at any point you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, just say the word and we can go get some air, and if you don't feel like staying, we can go."

"I don't want you to leave your friends, though."

I shrug. "I'll see them again. If you honestly want to duck out early, I can walk you to the car and then go say bye to my friends? That way you can wind down and we don't seem rude." Plus, I would never make him hang around any longer than needed; that would be cruel. Seung Gil exhales, nodding an agreement. "Does that work for you? You tell me you're no longer having a good time, I'll walk you out and tell people we're going home?"

"Only if you're sure."

"Of course I am." I squeeze his hands, smiling when he squeezes back. "We'll have a good evening and my friends will adore you so much, I'll have to remind them that you're mine." As intended, this makes him laugh. When Seung Gil laughs, all is well. "Did you want to go with me when I get the couple a gift? You can help me pick something out."

"I don't know how helpful I'll be."

"What if I buy you a burger after?"

This offer is so tempting, Seung Gil's stomach answers for him in a lengthy growl. It's an impressive testament to his hunger, I'll say; good thing food is on the way! While I'm laughing, he replies: "I'll take you up on that, but I think it's time for lunch now." He doesn't wait for me to grab him a bowl; he straight up reaches into the pan, picking out a sizeable chunk of chicken and popping it in his mouth.

"Seung Gil!" I gasp. He must not have burned himself because he's laughing. "What the hell?" It's hard to stay frustrated with him when he offers me a piece, holding it up to my mouth. I mean, I can't not take it, right? An eye roll is required, just so he knows I'm not thrilled, but I can't say no when he makes that face.


IRL, there's a lot going on with me. I won't bore you with details but getting to sneak in fluff wherever I can helps me feel better, so it's going to happen, even when the plot seems like it's not going that direction. Keep in mind, this isn't an angst fic, but the next couple chapters have some struggles for the sake of character growth; be on the lookout for the fluffy stuff, eh? Have a good week~