BTW, did you notice the other YoI characters calling into Phichit's show? Mickey was the first to call, envious of his sister's new confidant; next was Leo, concerned about his boyfriend moving; Georgi called in, too, trying to get over his ex; JJ called to try and balance bro time with fiancé time; Chris was the last caller, but y'all knew that! So, yeah, the last regular chapter is a Seung Gil chapter. I'm gonna be 100% with y'all: it's fluff. Like, all fluff. I make no apologies for that because these characters and I have worked hard to get to this point XD For real, though, the fight in the last chapter was hard to write because I love these two so much; the fluff is my reward hahha Anyway, who's ready for sauciness?
Sleeping in used to mean forgoing an alarm and ignoring the sunlight streaming in through the blinds. It used to mean lingering in dreams, catching up on as many lost hours from the week as possible. There are times that it's simply staying in bed, not tending to adult responsibilities as long as body functions remain cooperative. Since meeting Phichit, I've found that it can also mean other things. This particular morning, it means teasing kisses all over my face until I open my eyes, greeted by a smiling, blushed face. Then it means deep kisses and roaming hands, rolling in the sheets in a tangle of bare limbs and wrinkled blankets. It's my back arching off the mattress, traveling lips leaving a rosy constellation across my neck, shoulders and chest. Sleeping in means fingers tugging at his hair and reveling in the music made with every moan he lets loose. Each touch is hot enough to burn my skin, every movement sending me further into incoherence. I forget how to breathe, how to think, how to speak; my body doesn't forget how to respond, though, wrapping my arms and legs around him, crashing my mouth to his lips, chin, neck, chest: any and everywhere. Hip bones dig into my skin, foreshadowing bruises on my thighs that feel good; every part of me feels good when I hear my name cried out between panting and broken curses. The view gets better when gravity pushes him down, flushed and glistening under the soft sunlight filtering through the blinds. My hands can't decide on a place to stay, searching for stability; he takes mercy on me, threading our fingers together on the bed. Sleeping in has never been so much fun.
Then again, it can also mean some actual hours of sleep, too. Sleep doesn't evade me so much when I'm under the covers with Phichit, arms around each other to keep any distance at bay. As consciousness slowly returns, I try to limit my stirring so I don't wake him up; I can't help but draw circles on his shoulder, though. His skin is soft after our unproductive shower, the warmth keeping me in a cozy state. I let my eyes stay shut, knowing every inch of him by heart with just the skim of my fingers. His collarbones dip into a soft curve below his neck, one side a whisper more prominent than the other; his shoulders, smooth and slightly narrow, carry stress I've tried to knead out, but it always comes back; down his shoulder blades to the soft dip in his back, the place I like to rest my hands when I give him goodbye kisses; his ribs shift with every inhale, relaxing again when he exhales near my ear; my hand finds his chest rising and falling softly, heart beating under my palm. When I open my eyes, I scan his face for any signs of waking up. His eyes are closed, thick lashes shadowing the top of his cheekbones, still lightly flushed. There's a hint of a smile on his lips, dark and slightly swollen from the moments preceding our nap. With a light touch, I brush some of his hair away from his forehead; the dark strands have yet to fully dry, some sticking to his face. I slowly pull my hand back as he sighs through his nose. He sleeps more than I do, but I still hope I haven't woken him; as an insomniac, I know how precious sleep is and I'd hate to deprive someone of their rest.
Carefully, I slip my arms from Phichit and reach over to the nightstand; my phone should be charged by now. I ignore the time and scan my notifications: a couple texts and emails, more social media tags and mentions and such than I'm used to. Before I met my boyfriend, I was rarely ever spoken of online, and seldom appeared in anyone else's pictures. Now, it's quite common to be tagged here or there in a post and be featured in selfies. I can't say I necessarily get why Phichit needs to photograph me before a date night or when I play with his hamsters; I don't always understand the tags he uses or what the hell 'potd' or 'loml' means; am I supposed to respond to the same post I'm in on every website it's on? And to make things even stranger, most of the pictures we take don't even end up being uploaded: they stay in Phichit's phone or get saved to his laptop. After clearing my phone's notifications, I unlock the device and smile like a fool at the image that greets me. One morning, the two of us were lounging in bed and Phichit got it in his mind to take pictures, including a few of me kissing his cheek in my sleepy state. Did I mention I had no idea he was doing this? It wasn't until he sent me the kiss photo, causing my phone to wake me, that I figured out what he did. He never posted any of the pictures, but did set that kiss one as my wallpaper later that day. Looking at it now, the smile I have in the image is sort of like the one he currently has: sweet, relaxed and stupidly adorable. Maybe he'd appreciate this moment later; what harm could one photo of him sleeping do? A few silent clicks later, I pick the best picture and send it to him, frowning when I don't hear his phone go off. Where did he leave it?
"Babe?" He rubs at his eyes, reaching out with his other hand. "Seung Gil?"
I abandon my phone near the lamp, clasping his hand and moving closer. "I'm here."
As soon as I'm within reach, Phichit ensnares me in something like a full body hug that almost chokes the air from me. "Were you thinking about getting up again?" His voice is muddled with sleepiness, bleary eyes at half-mast.
"Not really. I'm just awake."
He hums in response, eyes shutting again. "Good. I like being in bed with you."
I kiss the top of his head, eliciting a content sigh. My eyes drift up to the ceiling at the asymmetrical light fixture; I wonder if its shape was intentional. When I moved in here, I didn't even bother to look at such things. In all honesty, I just wanted a roof over my head within walking distance from the office that allowed pets. It didn't matter that the dark walls make the space seem smaller or that the peephole on the door is too high to comfortably use: it's affordable and a place to sleep. Most of the time, I appreciate how quiet it typically is and that I have my own space away from the world, but I still prefer staying at Phichit's place: his furnishings have more personality, his bed has a better mattress, he has two microwaves. Then again, those things can be in any place, can't they? Even in a building that's new to both of us. Maybe there's another reason why I like staying at Phichit's. "Phichit?" I use a quiet voice to avoid startling him. He nuzzles the skin near my chest and shoulder.
"Yeah?"
"Do you want a fireplace?"
His giggle is soft, tickling my neck. "What kind of question is that?"
I shrug, still curious. "They're nice."
"Hmm. Yeah, I'd like one." Phichit yawns after a beat, pulling the blankets up further. "I also want a tree that flowers, somewhere out on the lawn. I must have flowers." The seriousness of his tone is almost funny; this is evidently important to him.
"Like a garden?"
His arms tighten around me. "Well, maybe just at the windows, or by the door."
I nod, using the ceiling as a canvas to visualize this place. "What kind?"
"Nothing blue or purple or pink."
Oddly specific, but I can work with that. "And what about the inside?"
"A big tub. It's been too long since I had a good bubble bath. A walk-in closet would be amazing, too. You know how small my closet is."
"What do you like about your apartment?"
More alert now, Phichit shifts so he can sit up a bit like me, head propped on the pillows. "Rent is good. I have a nice view, I guess. The thermostat is easy to use." I'm not sure what that means but nod anyway. "I really like the color of my kitchen walls, and the cabinets are big. I wish I had more drawers, though, and storage space. Especially in the bathroom."
"Yeah, you only have one weird drawer at the sink." I laugh, remembering when I first discovered the useless, skinny storage space.
Phichit groans, pressing his forehead to my shoulder. "It's so stupid! And I hate that my front door is outside."
"Where should it be?"
This sends him into a laughing fit, rolling over to his back. "I didn't mean—! Okay, you know how a hotel has a lobby with the room doors inside and a motel doesn't? It just has doors visible to the outside world?" His explanation settles his laughter, but only a little. I agree that I know what he means and he steadies his breathing. "That's what I mean! I like how your place, this place, is only accessible from inside. It's safer, and more personal, I think." I've been told my building looks like a shopping mall only instead of stores, we have apartment doors. The view from my welcome mat took some getting used to: it's only a few feet from the railing that separates one from tumbling into the lobby fountain. "Sometimes it's nice to have all the quiet around, too."
"You like it here?"
"I think it's nicer than my place. Mine's pretty old and small." Phichit returns to my side, lacing his fingers with mine. "I also like being downtown, being in the city."
His apartment is more suburban than mine, but I didn't know it made a difference to him. "Would you rather live here?"
"In the city?"
"In this apartment." My clarification is met with silence. Is it shock or uncertainty, or what the hell is he thinking? His hand is still in mine, so I squeeze it for some sort of reassurance but it stays frozen in place. "Um, listen, P. I didn't mean to throw that at you like that. It's just…I mean, we basically live together already and with one rent, we could…I don't know, maybe save money for a house, or a bigger place?" This doesn't make things better: he takes his hand away, shielding his face behind it with a shaky sigh.
"Seung Gil!" He whines. I'm at a loss for words, confused as to what's going on. "I'm so dumb!"
Yeah, still confused. "What? No you're not."
Suddenly, he sits up to stare at me. The blankets pool in his lap as he scrubs at his face. "I didn't think you were up for moving in together yet! I thought if I asked, you'd think I was moving too fast, or being too needy, and I didn't want to push you away by bringing it up." The words tumble over each other, almost too fast to catch. I don't get a chance to sort them before he starts up again. "I've been thinking about it for a while, but you never mentioned it so I thought I should just keep it to myself? And then I thought you preferred having your own space, because I know you like alone time, and I didn't want to pressure you. And…ughh, dumb."
I wouldn't use that word. I would say he's been overanalytical, but that's nothing new. Phichit makes a face, arms limp at his sides. Is this one of those times when he needs a hug, or something? Maybe that'll show him that everything's fine; we're fine. "Come here." Immediately, he throws himself into an embrace, squeezing tight. "I get it."
"Really?"
I nod, resting my chin on his head. "Yeah, but you don't have to worry. I'm right here."
Somehow, Phichit holds me even tighter. "You're right." He mumbles on an exhale. "Don't laugh, but…I just didn't want to fuck anything up this time." I feel like there's something more he wants to say, but he sighs instead. When I notice a shiver run through him, I pull the blanket up around us. "With you, it's different." He doesn't need to elaborate for me to understand; understand and agree with a silent nod. "So you think I should move in here?" He lifts his head to meet my eyes, a bashful smile an unusual, but becoming, sight on his face.
"Well, we live together all the time, but in two different places." I shrug. "With one apartment, we can save on rent and never have to worry about packing overnight bags again."
"I'm on board, but I thought you preferred my place?"
"I think it's you that I prefer." I admit. "But if you want me to move in over there, I could do that. It's something to talk about."
Phichit's smile falters, replaced with an uncertain frown. He runs his hands down to mine, backing up to add space between us. "Uhh, speaking of talking about things…there's something I've been meaning to bring up with you." The way he plays with my fingers is a clear sign that he's nervous; he did this before when telling me how the pinkish stain got on my college sweatshirt. "I got an email from my old boss, and she said there's always room for me at the office." His hands still. "It would mean leaving the station, and my schedule would change a lot, but…but I think I'm ready to go back to counselling." I've yet to hear why this is making him nervous. "I'm not one hundred percent on my decision yet, but I think it's something I want." He walks his fingers up my palms to my elbows, eyes glued there. If he wants to go back, what's the problem?
"Isn't this good news?"
Phichit shrugs, eyes still downcast. "Sort of. I mean, I've had the show for so long, I don't know if I can leave it behind. How do I leave my friends and my callers?"
Realistically, his friendships aren't in any danger; he won't run into Yuuri, Mila or Yuri to and from the station anymore, but that doesn't mean they won't be in his life. "Your friends are your friends, P, even if you don't see them at work." I remind him. "You don't see Minami every day, but he's still your friend, right?"
"That's true."
"If it's an issue, maybe you could split your time between the station and the office, like when you first started." I shrug. "You can keep your listeners and get new clients."
At last, his eyes peer up at mine. "You think I could do it?"
Only if the sun rises every morning. Sometimes it's easy to forget that someone as sharp and vibrant as Phichit is susceptible to the human condition, complete with uncertainties and insecurities. I tilt his chin to level our views. "I know you can." With those words, his smile starts to return. I want to say something encouraging, taking a second to sort out my thoughts. "You're really smart and good at what you do. I know you love helping people, so there's no way you'll half-ass either job." This makes him laugh with eyes so lively, I forget where I was going with my carefully crafted words. Time to improvise: "I believe in you."
"Babe!" Phichit tackles me in a hug, our bodies hitting the mattress with a forceful bounce. "Who taught you how to pep talk?"
It's not easy to breathe, let alone respond. I wriggle slightly out of his grip to let some air return to my lungs. "Is this a hug, or impending death?"
He laughs, getting the message and backing off a bit. "A hug 'cause you're the best! What was I supposed to do, not pounce on you?" Phichit kisses whatever skin is available to him, eventually finding my mouth with more energy than one should have upon waking from a nap. "Wanna know something interesting?"
Soft lips make it difficult to respond, or even think. "Okay."
"I'll be closer to the office here."
"That is interesting." Not as interesting as basking in the flavor of Phichit kisses, but yeah: one more reason to ask him to stay. "So…" This man is so distracting. "Move in with me?"
Pulling away to gasp for air, Phichit nods emphatically and drags me on top of him. "Yes."
There are times when he is insatiable, craving more and demanding to be given exactly what he wants; today has been one of those days. I thought our nap meant he'd gotten his fill, but his greedy hands and hips have other plans. Honestly, though, I can't complain; witnessing the extent of his flexibility is fun, and his enthusiasm is infectious. However, a weird phenomenon is starting to register in my brain: the more exhausted I get, the more energized he gets. This becomes quite clear while I'm trying to catch my breath, limbs aching and the rest of me begging for rest again, as Phichit peppers my face with kisses and bounces out of bed for a quick shower and a bathroom serenade. How is he not on the brink of passing out? How can he still sing after wearing out his voice so much? How can he even walk without complaint? "Damn." I dump his pillow on my face, shutting my eyes and the rest of the world out. There's a chance I can get some rest before my stomach objects to not being fed in so long. Not a big chance, but a chance.
"Seung Gil?" Phichit's voice filters from the doorway through the pillow, chipper as ever. I grunt a response, too lazy to use words. "What're you doing?" His laugh becomes much clearer when he removes the pillow without warning. I groan, rolling over to my side.
"I'm tired."
"Sounds like someone needs breakfast." He kisses my cheek twice. "I'll be out there when you're ready, okay?" And with that, he drops the pillow back on my head not too gently. He may have forgotten, but I don't exactly have groceries at the moment; what he's going to do for food is a giant question mark, though I'm sure he'll figure something out. It's going to be strange having a full fridge and two microwaves after Phichit moves in. Strange, but welcome. His scent, faint on the pillowcase, will be present in every room now. His family photos will reside with mine. Maybe we can get rid of my stupid couch and use his instead. We can use my storage room for the hamsters, and maybe utilize the closet in there for his extensive wardrobe. I wonder if he'll be able to figure out the specific way the key needs to be jiggled to unlock the door. The mental image of Phichit singing some showtune while turning the key, then struggling with the key as his singing intensifies makes me laugh. Soon, my laugh won't echo off these walls alone anymore.
After a little while, more sleep isn't going to happen and I've accepted this. On a long sigh, I roll out of bed and scan the floor for any viable clothing options. When I come up empty, I pull the top pair of sweats and the nearest pullover from my dresser and toss them on with a yawn. Spring may be in effect, but the floors are still cold to the touch; gotta find some socks. I only get one on when my doorbell rings. I don't think I'm expecting anything, like a package, and I'm certainly not expecting anyone, like a visitor. Could it be maintenance to check on my temperamental heating unit? I slip on the other sock and pick one of Phichit's ball caps to wear before leaving the bedroom, spotting him at the counter with a plastic bag. The instant he sees me, his smile turns pouty and he narrows his eyes my way. "Mr. Lee, you've got some nerve."
"And you've got some food." I reach for one of the takeaway boxes, but he pulls it away, stepping between the counter and me.
"But you don't." He turns the bill of my hat to the side so he can kiss me, turning it back and leaning against the counter with his phone in hand. "Until you explain this!" Inches from my face, a sleeping Phichit on the screen gets a short laugh out of me. I'd forgotten all about that picture, and that I sent it earlier. He tosses his phone to the side, crossing his arms over his chest. "Seung Gil, really?" His voice may have a stern edge to it and his body language is supposed to ward off my laughter, but that gleam in his eyes is nothing short of amused.
I lift the phone up, smiling at the screen again. "You look cute."
Phichit rolls his eyes with a smirk, opening one of the cardboard containers. "Is that for the secret photo shoot when you were feeling snuggly?"
"Maybe." I chuckle. "But also because you're nonsensically adorable."
"You didn't post that anywhere, did you?"
It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Yeah right." Since when do I post pictures of anything? "So you got delivery?" I watch him dish up two plates of noodles; like, as in pasta noodles. "How did the delivery guy get in the building?"
He laughs with a shrug, handing one plate over. "I don't know. He must've followed someone into the lobby. This is from a new place, by the way." We settle at the coffee table, shoulder to shoulder on the floor. "It's Italian food, but in to-go boxes with chopsticks. They have so many different types of noodles and shit, but I thought we'd like these for sure." Phichit goes on about the menu, describing other items and commenting on our food. I'm too busy eating to respond, but man, does he have a nice voice. "I forgot to get water. Want something to drink?"
I nod at the offer, clearing my throat. "Thanks."
"No problem. Unless you want juice or soda; then that's a problem."
"Water's fine."
Something makes him scoff, but I can't see him from where I sit. "You have such weird taste in pictures, babe. Seriously." Phichit informs me when he gets back to the living room.
"What?"
"The ones you put on the fridge." He nudges me after I set my glass down. "You picked the ones I thought I deleted. Like where we're laughing at the movies, and one when we were outside waiting for an Uber." The pictures in question aren't weird, as he kindly phrased it; they're more on the candid side, and none ended up being uploaded or shared with anyone else. We both look happy, and that's what I like.
I shrug, setting my plate aside. "I like them. We look happy."
"Well, I guess I don't mind them on our fridge." He pauses to drain his glass. "Did you have an idea of when I should bring my things? I have a lot."
Before we move him in, I need to organize my crap and clean up. I think it'd be best for Phichit to be comfortable here before he goes back to work; that way, he won't have any additional stress to weigh him down. "I have to clean and stuff, but how about before you go back to work? One less thing to worry about." I suggest.
"That's a good idea." Phichit nods. "We'll have to get started, then."
"Are you excited?"
"For moving, or going back to my old job?"
"Hmm." I'd initially meant moving in, but I guess I'm curious about both. "Both, I guess."
Phichit smiles, resting his head in his hand, elbow on the sofa behind us. This smile is the one that makes me feel like my heart is in good hands; this smile can cure what ails me. "I am." Warmth colors my face, I'm sure, accompanying a grin of my own. "I've missed helping people on a personal level, and interacting with them in the same room. I know it can get heavy, but it's…it's so rewarding, Seung Gil, to see someone build themselves back up in front of your eyes." I nod, hearing his unspoken desire to continue thinking aloud. "And last time, I didn't have you, you know?" His cheeks are tinged with pink, smile only growing. "I couldn't come home to you, or talk to you, back then. There were no Seung Gil hugs or kisses, or random stories read to me, and I didn't have your hand to hold, or anything. I'll have that this time around, and, well, I don't know. I think that might make things easier, and better." He moves in closer after I drape an arm around his shoulders. "It'll be fun to live with you, too. Are you excited?"
Am I excited to live with my boyfriend? Having a roommate who pays rent on time, keeps things clean, can cook without setting off the smoke alarm and won't bring strangers over unannounced would be 'exciting', but having a roommate who also listens to and values what I have to say, makes me laugh and smile over esoteric things, cares about the state of my mental health, wakes me up with kisses and sex after holding me until I fall asleep and makes me feel like I'm worth something…what's the proper word for that? 'Excited' just doesn't seem like enough. I guide Phichit's face toward mine, pressing my mouth to his, hoping I can convey everything I'm feeling but don't know how to say. "Of course, beautiful. You mean so much to me."
"As much as you mean to me." Phichit says with a nod, turning my hat to the side again. He's the one who moves in for a kiss this time, slow and gentle. I start to get lost on his lips, falling into the soft touch with all of my senses joining me. I only snap back to the real world when he laughs suddenly, fingers to his mouth. "Sorry, it's just…your socks." My what? I look down, wiggling my toes in the mismatched pair, not grasping what's so funny. Generally, Phichit matches his socks three out of five times, so I must be missing something.
"What about them?"
"You seriously could never find their matches?"
I shake my head, no longer annoyed at the missing socks. "No, I couldn't. I made an exception, though. I know they're different, but they still work as a pair."
This is a good answer to Phichit: he gives me another kiss, cradling my face in his hands. I lean into the warmth, deciding it only makes the kiss better. All too soon, he rests his forehead on mine with a sigh. "You're something else, Mr. Lee." Another quick kiss, chased by a gorgeous grin. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
One update to go, wonderful peeps. It, too, is fluffy, but will be told from a new POV. As with my first fic, I find it fun to explore a relationship through the eyes of an outsider; shines a new light on things, you know? It'll be good, it'll be good: no worries XD Until then, thank you for reading, from the bottom of my little heart, and do take care~
