Chapter 7 –Confessions
Edward sat on the couch and Bella sat on the floor across the room from him. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. Bella raised her eyebrow and asked "Do you plan on starting soon? I don't have all night." Bella kept her tone serious and sharp, not allowing any weakness to be shown in front of him. Edward fought back a smile and said, "Still have a temper." Bella blinked once and scowled "Well….?" Edward sat on the edge of the couch and cupped his hands. "Ok, there is some things I need to tell you, and I would first like to ask for the opportunity to say what I have to say without interruptions. Is that alright with you?" Bella continued to stare coldly at him and nodded once. "Yes………..?" Edward stared at her and began. "First of all, I am happy to see you. More than you know, however I am sorry that this happened to you. This is not something I wanted for you. I wish I could have prevented it." Bella rolled her eyes and looked back at him, gesturing with her hand for him to continue. Edward exhaled heavily and continued. "Bella, I own you the biggest apologize I have ever made in my life. I lied to you. That day in the forest, when I told you I didn't want you, I was lying to you. When I saw how you were hurt by me, trying to protect you from an attack, I saw I was putting you in more danger than you needed to be. When I looked you in the eye and told you and I didn't love you, that was the worse thing I have ever done. Worse than the people I've hunted and killed and worse than the lies I've told. Bella, when I met you, you caused a change in me that was permanent. My love for you, it can never die. But it can change; it grows. From when I first saw you in Jasper's mind when they first saw you, I wanted nothing more than to hold you to me. To hold you to me and show you I loved you. How I missed you and how much my love for you has grown. Even now, I am restraining myself from crossing this room and holding you in my arms and smell the scent of your hair. Bella, I apologize for leaving you. You were right; I should have been there, when you needed me the most. If I were there, Victoria would have died by my hands; not that it wasn't entertaining watching her die by yours. You deserved your revenge more than any of us. I should have been there, with you, where I truly belonged. And truly, truly I wanted to be there. Not to just protect you, but to hold you in my arms, knowing that I was yours and you were mine, now and forever. Bella, I love you. I never stopped and I never will. I would say I couldn't stop even if I wanted to, but I could never not want to love you." Edward stared at the floor at the end of his confession, waiting for Bella to respond. After a few minutes, he looked up at her. She glared at him with angry and hurt eyes. She was not breathing and her teeth were ground together.
"Are you kidding me?" Bella finally whispered. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! You lied, because you thought I was in danger from being with you. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, are you out of your mind?!" Bella snarled, almost growling. "Edward, I love you more than my life. When Victoria was attacking me, that wasn't when I needed you. I was hoping she would kill me, so I couldn't feel pain. So, when I thought of you, I wouldn't hurt anymore. I needed you the night you left. To hold me, to tell me you were not serious. I needed you all those endless nights of when I was in my personal hell, to tell me you were there, just for me." Bella's voice broke on that last sentence. She broke into a tearless sob. "Edward, I needed you when Laurent almost killed me. I needed you that first night I was changed, to show me what to do and how to adapt. I needed you when I found out my parents declared me dead." Bella rose to her feet and faced the wall, covering her face with her hands, continuing her sob. Edward stared at her. Bella turned at him, her eyes sad. "It should have been you. You knew I wanted this," gesturing at her body. "But I never told you, I wanted you to change me. Victoria is dead but her venom is still in my body. Yes, I killed her with my hands, but she is still part of me. I wanted it to be you. I wanted your lips to be the last human feeling I've had. I wanted to belong to you." Edward crossed the room and put his arms around her. Bella looked at, slamming her fists in his chests repeating, "It should have been you, it should have been you, it should have been you." She sobbed in his chest and he hugged her to him. "Bella, please forgive me. Everything I did, I did for you. I thought I was doing what was best for you." Bella looked up at him "Couldn't I have a say in what was best for me? Edward, I wanted you, with me. I was willing to leave everything, everyone for you. Edward, you swore to me that you wouldn't leave me. But you left, how can I believe you now?" They stared at each other and Edward closed his eyes and leaned his forehead to hers. "Bella, come with us and I will show you. My words are meaningless to you and I understand that. So I will show you." Bella closed her eyes, "Let me think and I will have an answer tonight." Edward hugged Bella once more and turned to leave. "Edward….?" He turned back to her, as she walked to him. "I need one action from you, to begin proving yourself." She stood before him and closed her eyes. Edward placed his hands on her cheeks and kissed her. Long, hard and passionately. Her arms slowly crept around his waist, while his arm stayed at her back and the other around the back of her neck. Bella sighed and pulled back and stared him in the eye. For Edward, it was too soon, but for Bella, it was a start. Edward nodded and left Bella to her thoughts.
