Chapter Thirty-Five: Movie Night

"Come on, Lapis! It'll be fun!"

Pearl looked over her shoulder, turning her attention from the row of pillows she had carefully prepared to watch Steven's attempts to convince Lapis to stay.

The corners of Lapis's mouth tightened as she spoke, "I don't know, Steven. This doesn't really seem like it's... for me."

Steven's posture loosened a bit. "Well, if you don't want to stay, you don't have to," he said. "But I just think it'd be a lot of fun if we were all here together."

Lapis pursed her lips. Pearl quickly looked away, finishing laying out the pillows on top of the blanket as Lapis called to her.

"Are movies really that fun?" Lapis asked.

Pearl rose from where she had been kneeling and turned towards the two of them. "They are an experience," she answered honestly. "And, most tend not to be overly long."

In truth, most of the movies Pearl had seen never appealed much to her. They mainly dealt with human stories and she found it difficult to engage with those purely on their own (save for a handful of exceptions).

But Steven, on the other hand, loved movies, and he loved sharing them with both Pearl and Greg. So while Pearl often found films themselves uninteresting, the way Steven's face would light up as he'd recount to her his favorite parts of what they'd just watched always made the experience worthwhile.

Lapis folded her arms across her chest, looking past Pearl, past the bed of blankets and pillows that had been made on the grass, and instead out over the cliffside to the distant Beach City. She was silent for several moments, before dropping her arms to her sides and relenting. "Alright." She sighed. "I guess there's no reason not to give it a chance."

Steven cheered in excitement. "Yes! You won't regret this, Lapis. I promise!"

Lapis shot Pearl a sideways look before responding, "Yeah. Hopefully."

Pearl was going to speak, to offer assurance to Lapis, but she was cut off by the sound of the RV's door opening and Greg loudly scolding their newest guest.

"Hey! Easy there, kitty," he said, the kitten squirming in his grasp. "Steebo, can you take him?" Steven did as he was told, taking the infant cat in his arms and whispering soft meows into its ear. A moment later, the kitten calmed down and nestled its head in the crook of Steven's arms.

Greg, however, just shook his head. "We really need to find a home for that little scamp."

"I know, Dad," Steven said, still lightly petting the kitten. "I'm going to pick up the search again tomorrow."

Pearl was quietly thankful for that. While she didn't hold any great disdain for the animal, it was more of a nuisance than anything; often getting into things and places it shouldn't and just prone to making a mess with its unheeded exploration of the RV.

"Luckily, I was able to get her this time before she knocked over anymore plates," Greg said. "Oh! That reminds me." He turned towards Lapis. "Ya did good job getting us up here. Not a thing was displaced when you set us down." He smiled one of those genuine smiles Greg was so casual with. "Honestly, the kitten makes more of a mess."

Pearl agreed. She had been privileged to see many Lazulis work their trade over bodies of water, big and small. But Pearl wondered if any of them had the same kind of fine control over their powers that Lapis did.

Pearl made a mental note to say as much to Lapis later. No doubt she would enjoy the compliment, though only if the two of them were alone.

For now, Lapis simply regarded Greg with a general sense of surprise. "You're welcome."

"It was so cool!" Steven added gleefully, tugging on Lapis's arm. "The way you surrounded the RV with water and then just floated us up here…" He trailed off, slowly turning around. "Though, Dad… When you said 'family barn', I was kinda expecting something more, uh..."

Greg chuckled. "Yeah. Guess it'd been longer than I thought since I'd been up here."

Pearl spared a glance at the dilapidated mess behind them. Much human architecture seemed ill-constructed compared to Homeworld's elegance, but this wooden shack truly was on another level.

She recalled Greg having mentioned 'the barn' in the past as a sort of gathering point for his family, though it had been a long time since he had attended any such gatherings. This seemed an odd choice to Pearl, who understood barns to be a place for storing grain, animals, and farm equipment. But judging from the barn's state, Pearl was inclined to think it had been long since it had been used for its intended purpose in any form.

At least it seemed as though there might be some mechanical equipment inside which could be useful for the Drill.

"If we make coming up here a regular thing, we'll need to fix the place up," Greg said, eying the barn. "Shouldn't be too much-"

"Wait," Lapis interrupted. "You said this place... this 'barn' had been yours for years now?"

"Er, well in the sense that the barn belongs to my family, yeah," Greg answered.

"So, you own a building that overlooks the town that the Crystal Gems live next to, with a clear view of their base itself." She jabbed a thumb towards the view overlooking the town and, indeed, the Crystal Gem's Temple.

"Um, yeah. I guess I do," Greg said.

"Is something wrong, Lapis?" Steven asked.

Lapis folded her arms and shrugged. "No. It just seems weird to me."

"It is very coincidental," Pearl added.

"I guess it is," Greg chuckled. "Though it could have been weirder. When I was still touring, I was scheduled to make a stop in Beach City for a concert. How weird would it have been if I'd run into the Crystal Gems then?"

Steven rolled his eyes. "Dad, that never could have happened."

"Yeah, I suppose," Greg said. He clapped his hands together. "Alright, Steven. Let's go lay kitten down in her bed and we can pick out a movie."

Steven nodded and followed Greg back into the RV, shutting the door behind them.

Lapis walked over to Pearl. She paused, before asking, "We're going to be sitting on the ground?"

Pearl nodded. "Well, Greg won't. He will bring a chair out to sit on."

Lapis tilted her head to the side. "Why won't he? Shouldn't Steven be the one to get the chair?"

"Greg finds it difficult to get up if he gets onto the ground," Pearl explained, adding with a small smile, "Getting him back to his feet can be… a trial."

Lapis, however, just looked more confused. "Why is it so hard to get up from the ground? I've sat on the ground and it's been fine."

"It's a human thing," Pearl said carefully. "As they age, a human's body can weaken."

"Oh," Lapis said. "So he's too frail to even stand up properly."

"Yes," Pearl nodded.

Lapis was silent for a moment before saying, "And that's something that happens to all humans, right?"

"To varying degrees as I understand it, but yes."

Again, silence. As if Lapis was turning over a very heavy idea in her head. Finally, she spoke again, "Will that happen to Steven?"

Pearl kept her expression even and neutral at the question, even as she felt her chest tighten with a familiar, suppressed anxiety. She had wrestled with this question herself, but unfortunately had never come to a true conclusion.

Steven's body weakening with age wouldn't be unbearable, of course. Pearl would be there to offer her help. But what came after that, when a human's body was too weak to go on anymore…

"Pearl?"

Lapis's voice roused Pearl from her thoughts. She looked at Lapis, her expression concerned and questioning. Lapis's hand hovered a few inches above Pearl's shoulder before dropping back at her side.

"Ah. I am sorry, Lapis," Pearl said quickly. "I was merely thinking."

"Are you okay?" Lapis asked.

"Yes," Pearl answered simply. "And to your question, I am not completely sure. We are still learning how Steven's gem interacts with his body."

"Right, right," Lapis said. She paused before continuing, "And there's nothing else you need to say? Or anything?"

Pearl shook her head, but she still saw Lapis giving her an uncertain look. It was a look that Pearl had seen more often lately, mainly from Greg, though also from Steven.

She really wished they'd stop.

"I am fine, Lapis," Pearl said. "There is just…" She glanced over her shoulder, at the RV. "There is a lot to do, lately."

Lapis nodded firmly, taking Pearl's meaning. "Okay," she said. "But you know, if you ever need someone to talk to again…" Lapis smiled, softly and shyly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Pearl returned her smile, but any response she would have had was cut off by the RV door opening and both Steven and Greg returning, sans kitten.

"Did you find a suitable movie?" Pearl asked, turning quickly on her heel.

"Yep!" Steven replied, holding a DVD case above his head. "Fangs of Love!"

Greg laughed. "Gotta admit, that's not really what I thought Steven would end up picking."

"Yeah, but it's got all kinds of good stuff in it!" Steven exclaimed excitedly. "It's got werewolves! Action! And a gripping love story!"

Lapis tilted her head to the side. "A werewolf? What's that?"

"It's a person that turns into a wolf," Steven began to explain. "Here, let me show you the back of the box." Steven took Lapis by the hand and led her over to where the DVD player and projector were setup.

Pearl took a step to join them, but she heard Greg calling her, "Hey, Pearl! You mind giving me a hand here?" She turned and saw Greg trying- and struggling- to set up the screen for the movie. He looked as if he were about to break something, either the screen or one of his own legs.

"Yes, I'm coming," Pearl said, grateful to have something to do. Even though the task wasn't too taxing. The hardest part was pulling the screen's cord taut and tying it around the base of the pole, to keep the screen flat so it would billow as little as possible.

Pearl wasn't that strong, at least by Gem standards. By human standards however... Greg had often joked that Pearl should take up boxing, that she'd be able to be a champion heavyweight. Pearl had never thought that much about such comments, but by the low, impressed whistle Greg let out as she pulled, and the tied the cord to the screen's base, perhaps she should have.

Once again, Pearl wondered why they were bothering to set up the equipment outside. It seemed to her that it would be both more convenient and more comfortable to hold movie night inside the van or the Palanquin. But Greg and Steven had informed her that outdoor movie nights were 'a thing'.

At least it was 'a thing' she could easily handle.

"Nice. Nicely done, Pearl," Greg said as Pearl stood back up.

"It was simple enough," Pearl responded.

"Yeah, I guess when you've got alien super strength." Greg laughed.

Pearl bit her lower lip. If she truly did have 'super strength', then it was most likely going to waste most days, outside of her work on the drill. And even then, the Renegade had taken the lead there.

"Hey, Pearl. You alright?"

Pearl blinked and she saw that Greg was giving her that look again, the same one Lapis had given her earlier and the same one she had seen on his face many times over the past weeks.

"Of course, Greg. Things have been calm lately, have they not?"

"Well, yeah," Greg admitted. "But you did that thing."

"Thing?"

"Yeah, that thing where you push your shoulders back and fold your hands," Greg said.

Pearl was going to say otherwise, but indeed she felt her posture was straight and pulled back and her hands were folded in front her. She let her hands drop to her side before saying, "Truly, Greg. I am fine."

Greg was silent for a moment, seeming to just study her for a moment before slowly nodding. "Okay. But if that ever changes, you can come to me, you know. Like, if you ever need to talk or whatever." He shrugged. "I'd want to do what I could for you, Pearl."

"I know, Greg."

Greg looked as if he had more he wanted to say, but Steven called to them before he could. "Hey, are you guys ready?"

Pearl turned and saw that Steven was already all set on the blankets and pillows, Lapis sitting beside him.

"Yeah we are, Schtooball. Go ahead and start it up. We're coming." With one last sideways smile at her, Greg went on to join Steven and Lapis. He sat down in his folding chair, glancing up to the sky and mumbling to himself, "It should probably be dark enough now."

Pearl soon followed after, joining the group as Steven fiddled with the DVD player. She sat on the blanket next to him. Once he got the movie to start and the opening credits began to scroll, Steven settled into his place. He looked down at his lap for a moment before looking over at Pearl.

"Um, Pearl?"

"Yes, dear?"

He hesitated. "Well, I was wondering if- I mean, if you don't mind or anything…"

"You okay, Steven?" Greg asked, looking down at them.

"Yeah, I am," Steven said quickly. "I was just…" He sighed, before seeming to gather himself. "I was just going to ask, since it's been a while since we've had movie night or anything, if I could sit in your lap. Like we used to… If you don't mind, of course!" he quickly added.

Pearl felt a fluttering sensation in her chest at Steven's question.

That was another thing that had changed since coming to Beach City, no, since that day, when both Steven and Greg had gotten upset at her for merely doing what she'd always done. Before, Steven had been so much more... comfortable around her. He would often just come up to her with little to no preamble- to hug her, or hold her hand, or any other of the little gestures he did. Back then, Steven crawling into her lap while they watched TV or as she read him a story had not been an uncommon sight.

Back on Homeworld, to feel another's touch was rare. Even Pearl herself had never, save for the few clandestine brushes with another Pearl. And no Gem would dare touch someone outside their station, especially not Pearls, which were regarded as small and delicate things, something that would crumble at the barest touch.

But whenever Steven would wrap his arms around her and squeeze so tightly, it was a reminder that she wasn't small. That she wasn't delicate.

She missed that feeling.

"Of course you can," Pearl answered evenly. "If you want."

Steven hesitated for a moment, before smiling and crawling over to her. He didn't get into her lap exactly, but instead sat between her two outstretched legs. But after a few moments of relaxing, he did eventually settle against her, his head resting against her chest.

It wasn't the same as a hug, but the pressure of Steven's body resting against hers and the warmth that radiated from him to her…

Pearl smiled softly to herself as she brought her arms around and rested them in Steven's lap.

The movie began in earnest. A young man was walking down a darkened street. Judging by the low, tense music that was playing and the constant shifts of the camera, Pearl suspected something unfortunate was going to befall him.

"Oh, the popcorn," Steven said suddenly. "We forgot to make any."

Again, Pearl could feel a flutter of excitement in her chest. While the process to make popcorn was hardly trying, it still left her with the same satisfied feeling that any type of cooking left her. Taking ingredients and turning them into something that Steven and Greg could enjoy. It always left her feeling good, seeing them eat and enjoy the results.

"Ah. I will hand-"

"No, no that's alright, Pearl," Greg said, already getting up from his seat. "I can get it real quick."

Pearl was going to say more, but Greg had already entered the RV. She looked down at the ground next to her, covered by the blanket as it was, and resisted the urge to clench her hands into fists.

She looked back up and felt a pair of eyes on her. Lapis was looking at her, a strained look on her face.

Greg was back shortly, the warm scent of butter and salt coming with him. He took a handful of popcorn and began munching on it before passing the bowl to Steven. He took it, resting it on his lap and leaning forward to better eat the popcorn, pushing out of Pearl's arms and letting the chill evening wind blow through her.

Pearl frowned, doing her best to keep her herself still and undisruptive.

A difficult task.

She could feel herself shaking on the inside. It was the same feeling that she'd had that day at the Palanquin, when she had found the storybook that she had read to Steven so many times over the years…

The feeling that the life she once had was fading away, leaving her with nothing at all.

Pearl thought about leaving, to just excuse herself and go… somewhere. If trends proceeded as they had before, it would be unlikely that Greg or Steven would put up much protest. But Pearl knew if she left, it was likely Lapis would as well. Which would leave Greg and Steven alone and… that didn't seem fair.

So Pearl stayed. For the whole movie. Which was fairly unremarkable, in her opinion. As advertised, there was a werewolf, and a man who loved him despite that. Apparently the key to keeping him from hurting anyone in his animal form was to sing to him. An odd choice, in Pearl's opinion, but Steven seemed to really to like it.

So much that, even when the movie was done, he was still talking about it.

"That was such a good twist," Steven said, grabbing the pillows off the blanket and holding them tightly. "Who would have guess that Dave being a musician was the key?"

Greg was taking the projector down, grunting slightly with the effort. He laughed, "Well, you know me, Steven. I'm always glad to see musicians be the heroes." He pulled the final stake up, gently letting the screen fall to the ground. "What'd you two think?"

Pearl was roused out of her own mind. She and Lapis had merely been standing aside as Steven and Greg did all the clean up.

"It was enjoyable," Pearl said evenly. "I enjoyed the presentation."

"Yeah. It was… something, alright," Lapis added.

It was decided that they would stay by the barn for the night. Steven was excited at the prospect of sleeping at the barn, even as Greg reminded him that they'd still be sleeping in the RV. But that did little to quell the boy's enthusiasm.

Steven and Greg finished cleaning up, leaving Pearl with nothing to do but stand still and be alone with her thoughts. It wasn't until after, when pajamas had been put on, teeth had been brushed, and heads were resting on pillows, that Pearl was finally called on. Steven was laying in bed, ready for sleep and he wanted a good night kiss. Pearl indulged him, leaning down and planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

Before, this was when Steven would wrap his arms around Pearl and hug her tightly before saying good night.

"Night, Pearl," Steven said after the kiss. He rolled over to his side, pulling the covers up to his chin. "See you in the morning."

Pearl felt her lips tremble as she responded, "Yes. Good night, Steven."

She left the RV, gently shutting the door behind her. Lapis was waiting for her outside.

"So," she said. "Guess we're going to the drill?"

Pearl nodded silently.

"Pearl," Lapis said heavily. "There's something wrong. There's been something wrong all night." She shook her head. "And don't bother to try and hide it either. I can tell."

"I-" Pearl stopped herself. She was going to simply lie again, to tell Lapis she was fine but…

Instead, she started crying.

"Pearl!" Lapis started.

"It's…" Pearl sobbed, cover her eyes with her hands. "It's nothing, Lapis. Truthfully."

"That's-" Lapis shook her head. "I just- I mean, you seemed upset all night and… I just wanted to know if I could help…"

Pearl wiped her eyes clear, blinking to keep any fresh tears away. "It is… nothing you need to concern yourself with, Lapis. It's…" She trailed off, unable to finish her thought.

A beat of silence passed and Lapis asked quietly, "Does this have anything to do with Steven and Greg?"

Pearl felt her throat tighten, as if trying to forcibly keep her from speaking.

"In a sense…" Pearl said, nearly choking on each word, "I fear that…"

"Yes?" Lapis pressed.

"What use am I to them now? Practically none at all."

"That- That's crazy!" Pearl winced at Lapis's words. "What makes you think you're 'useless'. I mean-" She looked over shoulder, at the quiet RV. She continued, lowering her voice slightly, "Even if you want to ignore what you do at the Drill, things aren't really that different with them, are they?"

"It is different." Pearl shook her head. "You saw it yourself, Lapis. Before and after the movie, Steven and Greg did all the preparation and cleanup. And the popcorn…" She fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "I always make the popcorn for movie nights."

Pearl looked down at the ground, her thick bangs hiding Lapis from her sight. But she could still feel Lapis quietly considering her. Finally she spoke, "Didn't you talk to Steven and Greg about this? About you serving?"

"We did," Pearl answered. "At the time, I thought the matter resolved, that things would return to normal, save for perhaps a few small things. But…" She shook her head, fearing more tears were coming. "Things are not normal. Greg and Steven disallow me to perform any of my duties. I'm left with nothing at all."

Lapis stared at her, eyes silvery in the moonlight.

"Pearls are good at finding ways to help people, before they even need help," she suggested. "That's what you need to do here. Just find something that Steven and Greg don't even know they need, and do it."

"Like what?" Pearl demanded.

"I don't know," said Lapis. "You know about these things more than me. Washing stuff, or… organizing schedules, or…"

"There's nothing else needed, " Pearl stressed. "They do everything now! Laundry, cooking, cleaning- And I don't want- I don't want to figure out what to do myself, I just- I need someone to tell me what to do! "

Pearl clutched at her chest, unable to stop herself from rocking forward and backwards slightly, however unseemly it was.

"I could-" Lapis began, opening her mouth, and then closing it as she immediately thought better of it. She fell silent, looking away and down at the peaceful sight of the town below. Several moments passed, the only sound being the wind that blew past them.

"Lapis," Pearl said softly. "Do you think I should leave?"

"What?"

"Leave. As in, Greg and Steven." Pearl shook her head. "I doubt I'm even truly needed at the drill anymore. The rebels have that well in hand. And… if I'm not wanted here anymore… If my being here serves no purpose, if I... if I don't belong here anymore… then should I leave?"

"I think," Lapis said, "that making that choice right now is not a good idea."

"What do you mean?"

"It's been a long day. Maybe it would be better when you've given it some thought with a clearer head?"

Pearl sighed heavily, suppressing another lingering sob. "I suppose you are right, Lapis," she said.

A cool wind blew past them, blowing Pearl's hair out of her eyes and giving her a clearer view of Lapis. She wore a considered look, though didn't seem to actually be looking at anything in particular.

"I do know what you mean," Lapis said, pausing before focusing back at Pearl. "About belonging, you know? I guess, ever since the mirror, I've been looking for that. Just a place to belong."

Pearl felt her expression drop, just slightly, but it was enough for Lapis to see, as she quickly added, "But it's not like it hasn't been good with you and Steven or anything. It's just…" She trailed off before finally shrugging. "I don't know. Sometimes I just wonder if Earth is actually meant for Gems."

Pearl was silent in response. She didn't feel she had a true answer for Lapis.

"Come on," Lapis said. "Why don't we go and get some work done on the drill? Get your mind off this?"

Pearl nodded slowly. "You go on ahead. Tell the Renegade that I will be there shortly."

"Pearl?"

Lapis took just a step closer, but Pearl turned away. "I would just like a little while alone, if that is alright, Lapis."

"Sure. Okay." A moment passed and Pearl heard the soft padding sound of Lapis's bare feet against the grass. Another beat and she heard the 'swish' of Lapis's wings being summoned.

"Pearl."

Pearl turned and saw Lapis standing on the edge of the cliffside, her wings outstretched, waiting to catch her and carry her away.

"If- I mean, I don't know if you should stay or go or… whatever, really." She scowled at her feet for a moment before continuing, "But, if you do- ugh." Her face flushed and she turned away, facing the town again. "Forget it. It was dumb." Another pause. "Don't wait too long to get to the drill," she said, before adding in a much more gentle tone, "Alright, Pearl?"

"Yes. Alright, Lapis."

Lapis nodded and then leaped from the cliff, flying away towards the Temple.

Pearl lingered for a moment, watching her slowly shrink in the horizon, before she turned, her eyes holding on the RV's door until she walked past, beginning down the dirt road leading back to Beach City.

It was a calm night. Pearl could hear cicadas as she moved silently down the road, like a ghost from any number of stories humans liked to tell themselves. And Pearl was alone, as she wanted. She had hoped to maybe do some thinking, but every time her mind lingered too close to the matter, her vision began to blur and she could feel more tears begin to sweep over her.

So instead, Pearl kept her mind purposefully blank.

After all, if she didn't think about how she felt, then it didn't truly matter.

Eventually, she came to the town and, after that, to the Crystal Gem Temple. She still didn't like coming here. Every time she did, all she could see was the silent glow of the cage that had held Steven. But the warp pad in the Temple was the nearest one in Beach City and traveling to the next closest one was a waste of time.

Pearl stepped off the beach and into the Temple itself, when she heard a voice behind her.

"Hello, Pearl."

Pearl whipped around and nearly jumped when she saw Rose Quartz standing there, just out of sight from the entrance.

She put on an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"You did not," Pearl said. "I am merely heading to the Drill."

"Ah, of course. You needn't worry, Pearl is already there getting to work." She chuckled to herself. "As you have no doubt noticed, she can get rather intense about her projects."

"She can, yes."

Pearl turned and began to walk to the warp pad, but Rose Quartz spoke again, "Pearl. Is there anything wrong?"

Pearl stopped where she stood. She deftly turned back around. "Of course not," she said simply.

Rose nodded. "Well, for whatever it's worth, if you need an ear, or another Gem's perspective, then you can always come to me."

There was no delicate way to say that Pearl cared little for whatever advice Rose Quartz had to give. So instead she said:

"I have Lapis."

Rose smiled. "Yes, I suppose you do."

Pearl turned to continue to the warp pad… but stopped and instead looked back at Rose. "Rose Quartz. If I may, a question."

The words surprised even Pearl herself.

"Of course, Pearl. Anything you need."

"Were there many Pearls in your rebellion?"

While Pearl couldn't be sure, a glint in Rose's eye seemed to indicate that wasn't the question she'd expected to be asked. "Oh, many," she answered easily. "Just about every Gem was represented in our ranks."

"Did any of those Gems come to the rebellion with…" she hesitated. She had said too much.

But now, Rose Quartz was waiting.

"With…?" Rose prodded.

Pearl shook her head. "It was nothing."

"Are you sure, Pearl?"

"Very." Pearl stepped onto the warp pad. She bowed lightly at Rose Quartz. "Thank you for your time, Rose Quartz."

Rose bowed in return. "Of course, Pearl. And as I said, if you ever need anything…"

"Yes, I know," Pearl said, beginning to grow weary of hearing the same phrase over and over. "You'll be there."

In a single flash, the Temple and Rose Quartz were gone and the warp pad whisked Pearl away.

Where at least, she'd hopefully be able to keep her hands and mind busy for a little while.