Chapter 3 – Adjusting
EPOV
Tanya, Kate, Carmen, Esme, Alice and Rosalie took Bella shopping. She must really be mad; she usually doesn't enjoy shopping. On the stairs, when she looked at me, she didn't even say anything. I watched as they drove off, wishing that Bella would've stayed. I wanted her to stay, so I could apologize.
But it was better. Better for her to go and calm down. Knowing her temper and my own, it would have made things a lot worse if we spoke. "Well, the girls are gone. We may as well make the best use of our time. Let's finish our hunting trip." Emmett said coming down the stairs with Jasper and Eleazar.
Eleazar agreed, "Good idea. I know of some troublesome bears. I've been tracking for a while." "Perfect! Edward, let's go. Bella will be fine with them. The only worse thing that will happen is Alice makes her get an outfit she really hates."
I smiled at the thought. Carlisle stood at the front window with me, "Let's go. Emmett's right. None of them will let her out of their sight. Esme promised me." I nodded and went out the door with them.
Moving quickly, the bear Emmett had his eye was taken down by me before he could and he wasn't happy. He hated being bested, especially by me. Everyone was hunting for an hour and then sat in the fields. Stop worrying, she's fine. Jasper thought's reached me while I stared at the stars. My eyes located the Virgin, otherwise known as Virgo, which is what Bella was. She is constantly on my mind.
I could feel the pull to go find her was starting to take over. Edward, calm down! She's nowhere near the wolves. Alice has an eye on her. And with the others, I doubt Bella can get into trouble. She's safe. You cannot fret over her every moment she's away from you. What do you think it will be like when she is one of us? I do worry about Alice too, but I know that she will find a way back to me. So will Bella, so relax! Before I make you.
I laughed out loud, "Thanks, Jas." "Still concerned about Bella?" Emmett chided, "She's fine. Even more so, now that Rosalie cares about her. She's perfectly safe." His thoughts drifted to their drive to Denali today, "The one who's not safe is you. When Bella's in bed, Rose plans on ripping you a new one. Just giving you a warning." Carlisle shook his head, while Eleazar chuckled, "By the way, Edward. Bella's a very lovely girl. Carmen likes her already and Tanya can see, and smell, your attraction. She's very beautiful. Is she the reason you came to us last year? That you thought you would lose control?"
"Yes. I sat in this very field and looked to the sky, but all I saw was her. Ever since I met Bella, she's all I think about. When I was here, all I could think about why this human drove me from my home. I didn't want to disappoint Carlisle by hurting her. After Alice's visions, I realized I loved her. Now, all I want is to keep her safe, even from herself. " Emmett looked away, "Yea, but don't change her yet. She's more fun human."
I growled at him and he rolled his eyes, "Oh, lighten up. You know I love Bella and I would do anything to protect her, just as any of us would for any of them. And as for Tanya, she might as well move on. You're off the market." Everyone laughed, even me. "Emmett, when you can, tell Rosalie she was right. If I want Bella to accept my proposal, I shouldn't act like a dictator to her."
It was quiet for a long moment, "You proposed to Bella?" each of them, except Carlisle said over the other. "Yes, but she hasn't accepted. She hasn't given me an answer. Bella told Rosalie that she was using this time to make up her mind and seeing how I was today wasn't helpful." My eyes dropped to the ground, my forehead dropping to my knees. "Edward, she'll come around," my father tried to comfort me, "I heard them too. She got out what she had to say. She'll forgive you and she knows why you did what you did. But, Bella also had a point. She's not a child. She can make up her own mind and to have a successful relationship and marriage, you have to trust her. And you know her, even if you don't like something; she's going to do it if she thinks its right. Just trust her. One of the reasons you do love her is because she's a smart girl, let her show that to you."
Eleazar added his thoughts, "Carlisle's right. All of us came from a time when a man's word was final. But in today's world, which is Bella's world, when that isn't true. Women are independent and free-thinking. Bella grew up this way. She's going to be like that and when she becomes immortal, that could be amplified. You don't want another Rosalie on your hands."
Emmett punched Eleazar's arms, "Hey!" Everyone laughed and got up from the ground. This was my distraction, "Thank you and you're all right. I've got to remember Bella is strong-willed and I have to accept things she wants. Most importantly, I do have to trust her." Jasper folded his arms, "Finally, he gets it." Before I could turn on him, Jasper ran towards the house. We were in the field for hours, but the girls weren't back yet. Where are they? I need to see Bella, to hold her and show her I am going to listen.
Jasper and I went to play chess and, of course, I beat him. After another 20 minutes, the sounds of the cars were approaching the house. As the car doors opened, there were the sounds of their laughter; most importantly, there was hers. She was feeling better. Thank you, Alice for getting her out of the came inside, after being greeted by Carlisle and Eleazar.
Bella was smiling and laughing with Kate. Carlisle and Eleazar came upstairs, while the ladies stayed in the living room, talking. Carlisle had Bella's shopping bags. She had quite a few. Alice must have talked her into getting new clothes. I took the bags from Carlisle and put them in her room. Among her new possessions was a new journal. Journals were needed to vent feelings, happy or sad.
She must have needed a way to get out her true thoughts. Maybe one day she'll let me read it, if she ever forgives me. I sat on the bed, the frustration ran through me. I have got to stop jumping to conclusion, especially when it comes to Bella. I watched Bella through the women's minds. She was smiling and laughing with Carmen, Kate and Tanya.
Wow, Edward. I really like her. She's a very sweet girl, in more ways than one. You should bring her by more often. Kate always had a playful nature, but I was glad that our extended family liked Bella. Bella was being stubborn as she tried to fight off her tiredness. Alice convinced her to finally go to bed.
BPOV
In my room, all my new things were unpacked and settled on the bench at the foot of the bed. Grabbing my toiletries, I went into the private bathroom, which was small and beautiful. The warm water soothed my skin, making steam billow around. The shower was relaxing, weakening my muscles. I was fighting off sleep for hours. Stepping out, my arm extended to wipe away the clouded mirror.
My own reflection was the last thing I wanted to see. Turning away from the mirror, I put on one of my new pajamas. It was black satin capris with a matching satin top with see-through material from the top of my stomach to the hem. The bed was too tempting to ignore. It was very soft and warm. I took my new journal; which Tanya got for me. My body was exhausted, but my mind would not let me rest until it got out all of the anxieties from today onto my journal's pages.
I sat up in the bed, just writing and thinking. The pen scrawled across the pages as time went by. A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. Moving across the large bed, I put the journal away in the bedside table drawer, "Come in." My visitor sat on the edge of the bed. The air was charged with electricity, confirming who was sitting on the bed.
Edward wasn't looking at me. All that was visible was his hair and a slight glimpse of his cheek, "I just wanted to say good night." I looked at him and he was looking at the balcony doors. My eyes closed at today's memories, seeing the anger on his face when he saw me with Edward. My eyes opened to see the remorseful look Edward's face. Seeing him like this confused my emotions. Sleep was calling me, but still, my mind wouldn't let me.
All I wanted was to stay with Edward, to remove that look from his face. We were angry at each other, but I didn't want him to go. My hand rested on his, until he finally turned to look at me, "Bella, about this …." My finger rested his lips; feeling the electric current run through me. My head shook slightly. I didn't want to talk about today and I knew he didn't want to either.
I just wanted to enjoy this moment with Edward here. Taking his hand, I gently tugged at him to lay down with me. I wasn't strong enough to move Edward, but he move anyway and we laid together, staring at each other. When my eyes became too heavy to keep open, Edward turned off the light and pulled closer me to him. His arms came around me and he kissed my hair. Smiling in the dark, I feel asleep in his cool arms, breathing in his sweet scent.
Despite the previous day, my sleep was peaceful. The dull light of the morning came through the doors. I wasn't fully awake. All I knew was that I was still in Edward's arms. He must be watching me wake up, as he always did. My body was stiff from a motionless night. When Edward held me, I didn't move. I was comfortable just the way I was in Edward's arms. Easing myself up on my elbow, I looked around my room; I forgot where I was. The room did nothing to bring back the memory.
"Are you alright?" Edward asked brushing my hair behind my shoulder. I didn't answer. Where was I? I looked down at my pajamas and that helped. My eyes closed and I smiled as my memory returned to me. "Bella?" Edward was getting concerned. I looked at him and shook my head, "I'm fine." The light from the door caught my attention. Getting out of bed, I made my way to the balcony doors. My hand rested on the handle, wanting to open them. I wondered how the weather was.
Last night, the notice of the weather evaded me, due to my anger with Edward. It evaded me still during the shopping trip. Alice was pulling at me too fast from shop to shop for me to notice. The door slightly opened when Edward stopped me, "You just woke up and you're not wearing the proper clothes to handle the cold morning." He answered my question. His hand was on mine, reminding me of his restricting arms around me on the beach. A shiver ran through me as I grabbed my toiletries bag. After brushing my teeth, I went back into the bedroom.
Edward was still looking out the window, only he was wearing a different outfit. Moving passed him to get my own clothes, Edward took my hand. I looked at him and he pulled me to his body. I stared into his eyes, as he placed his hands on either side of my face, lowering his lips to mine. This kiss sent chills through my body. My lip quivered a bit under his kiss. His hands dropped from my face; one falling to the small of my back and the other tangling into my hair. He released my lips, moving to my neck.
I tried to keep my breathing steady, but I wasn't doing a good job. His lips moved back to mine, but his hand that was in my hair moved down to my shoulders. His arm moved across my shoulders and he tilted me downward. I would've fallen to the floor if his arms weren't steel guards around me. His other arm moved under my legs, and without breaking the kiss, he swept me up into his arms. He moved lithely, placing on the bed. He stood at the edge of the bed, keeping his lips locked on mine.
Edward held my face and released my lips, then placed his forehead on mine. My breathing was coming hard and unsteady. His breathing was unsteady as well. Edward has never kissed me like that before. When he got his breathing under control, he kissed my forehead and leaned me back on the bed. Edward kept most of his weight off me and kissed my neck. His arms were under my back, making it impossible for me to move, not that I wanted to.
Edward never allowed this kind of behavior. Maybe this was his way of making up for yesterday. I didn't stop him, because I wanted this so much. My heart was beating in my ears and my skin was hot. He let the tip of his nose glide along my jaw, inhaling deeply. The scent of my blood was intoxicating to him and his actions were intoxicating to me.
The sound of my heart crashing in my chest was embarrassing. I never experienced this side of Edward before and I liked it. He took one arm from under me and cupped my chin in his hand. I opened my eyes and stared into his golden, topaz eyes.
"Bella, I'm so sorry." I shook my head, "Edward, I don't want to talk about that now." There was something else we could do to occupy our time. He smirked like he heard my thoughts, "Please." His voice was whisper quiet, "I know you don't want to talk about it, but please, can I say what I have to say?" Giving in with good grace, I nodded. He circled his arm under my body and kissed me lightly; but my body reacted in anticipation.
"Bella, I shouldn't have done what I did. I know I overreacted, but when it comes to you, that's all I do. When Alice told me she couldn't see you anymore, I just thought of Emily Young. If something like that happened to you, I don't know if I could control myself from… from hurting the entire pack." His eyes looked away from me, trying to control his breathing, seeing my eyes close.
His thumb brushed along my cheek, "I know you would never forgive me if I did, but I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you." His sweet breath brushed my face, making my head spin, "All I want is for you to be safe and happy. But me trying to keep you safe, you were unhappy. I never should have given you ultimatums."
He sighed a deep sigh, "When your parents did it, you showed them you were determined to do what you thought was best. I saw that and look what I did. Instead of being in your bed where you belong, you're here," he gestured around the room, "In Alaska with my family; in a household with even more vampires. I swear to you, if you tell me something is safe for you, I'll trust your judgment. I shouldn't be making decisions on what is best for you. You and I should be making those decisions together. I'm so sorry. Bella, I love you and I just want to make you happy."
Once he made his confessions, Edward leaned his forehead back to mine. His cool breath blew on my face, making my head spin even more. My mind took in his words; he was worried about me, as usual. He was apologetic for what he did and what his actions has done. "Edward," I trued t soothe him, "I should be apologizing too."
He opened his eyes, "Why? You did nothing wrong. You went to see your friend. It was my fault; I pushed you to such extremes as running away." My head shook violently, "No, I didn't run away. Please don't see it like that. And, that's not what I'm apologizing for. I did it again." His brow creased with confusion. I explained myself, "Because of me, your family had to leave their home." I knew he heard the pain in my voice.
He kissed my eyelids as a single tear fell away, "No, my Bella. It was because of me and my overreactions. I...…" There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. Edward looked down at me and kissed me again. He pulled me up, then pulled me into his lap, "Come in, Rosalie."
Rosalie came into the room, balancing a tray on one hand, "Esme and Kate made you breakfast." Her nose wrinkled a bit from the smell of the food. It would have been interesting to watch Esme and Kate cooking. "See, no one is mad at you," Edward chided, "You're even getting room service." I tried not to laugh and Rosalie glared at Edward, but he only laughed. Rosalie placed the tray on the dresser and went over to my clothes on the low dresser. She ignored Edward, picking out several pieces of clothes and held it out to me, "I think you should wear this outfit. It looked great on you. And I have a necklace that would look nice with it."
It was strange having Rosalie be kind to me, but I would enjoy it while I can. "Ok," I said timidly, "Thanks, Rosalie." She smiled, then turned to leave, flipping her golden hair. She refused to look at Edward. She was still angry with him. I tried to get up, but Edward held me close. "Where do you think you're going?" His lips brushed my shoulder, sending a shiver through me. "I was going to eat and get dressed." My throat was thick, trying to keep my heartbeat steady.
Edward smiled my favorite crooked smile, before he lifted me and placed me back in bed, tucking the quilt over my lap. There was a silver cover over the plate. My breakfast was a large spinach and cheese omelet, with pancakes that were perfectly round and toast. There was a glass of grape juice; this was my favorite breakfast. "There is no way I can finish all that by myself."
Edward laughed and kissed my forehead. While I ate, Edward took the rest of clothes Rosalie left and put them away in the dresser. After I finished eating, he took the tray downstairs and left me to get dressed.
I got out of bed and put on Rosalie's selection. It was faded dark blue jeans, with a flared white button down blouse, with a matching black camisole underneath. The jeans hugged my legs, the sleeves hugged my arms and the shirt hugged my torso. It was a form fitting outfit. While buttoning the last button, Rosalie came in and held out a black beaded necklace with a matching bracelet. The necklace hung down to my stomach. She tied up the beads so the necklace hung down to my chest, moving with ever breath I took. The bracelet was similar to the necklace, and she wrapped it around my left wrist.
Finishing the look, Rosalie tied my hair in a simple ponytail at the back of my neck. She ran her fingers through my hair, leaving it to hang over my shoulder. Maybe my new shoes would work with this. Rosalie beat me to it, holding out a pair of black heels. She smiled noticing my hesitation, "Don't worry. Alice had them specially made for you. They are comfortable and fashionable."
I smile as she placed the shoes on the floor. Taking a breath and steadying myself, one foot slipped into a shoe and she was right, they were comfortable. Afraid of my own judgment, I had to ask, "How do I look?"
Rosalie smiled, "Like a Cullen." I smiled and blushed at the thought. She tucked my quilt back into place on the bed and we walked out of the room.
