Things had become quite hectic lately. Between the drill, the move, the new Gem, the new kitten, and that unexpected call from Doctor Maheswaran, things hadn't really been completely calm for a while now. So while Greg had wanted to talk with Pearl as soon as possible since Lapis dropped that bomb on him in the car wash, he hadn't had the chance yet.

That was why he decided to deliberately seek her out this morning.

Finding Pearl wasn't that hard, even though she was coming and going a whole lot lately. Greg found her inside the barn, sorting through the junk and muttering something complicated sounding to herself.

He gently knocked on the open door to catch her attention. "Hey, Pearl. You got a sec?"

Pearl glanced up at him before examining the parts she had carefully gathered in her arms. "No, I do not think there is a 'sec' in here."

Greg almost chuckled, but quickly thought better of it. "I meant a second. Like some of your time? If you don't mind, I'd like to talk with you for a bit."

"Ah. Of course." She put down her pile and headed over to Greg.

"So, uhhh..." Greg started. "How have you been?"

Pearl's tilted her head slightly to the side. "As I always have been."

"Right, right." He awkwardly shifted in place. "I, uh, I'll just cut to the chase, okay? Lapis came to me the other day, telling me something about, um, how you were. That you were, uhh, feeling... useless?"

"She… did." It wasn't a question, exactly. But Greg felt it deserved an answer.

"Yeah. And Steven and I, we didn't mean to make you feel that way. If there's anything we could do to make things better—"

"It is okay, Gregory," Pearl cut in with a slight bow of her head. "You have done nothing wrong."

"No, it's not okay, Pearl. I really messed up. I was too caught up in trying to not make you do anything that I..." He ran a hand through his hair. "It didn't even cross my mind to ask how you were or if there's something you'd want to do. It took hearing from Lapis before I realized how uncomfortable I've been making you feel, and that's..." He heaved out a sigh. "That's not good enough. I'm so sorry, Pearl. You deserve better than this. I'll try to— No, I have to do better."

Pearl carefully clasped her hands in front of herself. "You do not have to push yourself this much for me."

"You shouldn't have to push yourself for us either, and yet here we are." Greg massaged the knot forming between his eyebrows. He was starting to feel frustrated with himself, but letting that frustration show in this context would only give Pearl the wrong idea. He took a deep breath and tried again. "You know, you don't have to be something you're not. Especially if it's just to please everyone else."

Pearl pursed her lips before responding, "I am and always have been a Pearl. I am not trying to be like a Quartz or a human or anything else."

Greg fought the urge to slap himself. So much for not giving Pearl the wrong idea. "Alright, that wasn't... the best way to phrase that." He cast his gaze around, searching for a way to explain his point to Pearl. His eyes fell on the still open barn door. "Pearl, have I ever told you about my family? Not you and Steven, but my… other family."

"No. You have rarely spoken of them."

"Yeah," Greg said, breathing out a heavy sigh. "There's a reason for that. The family I grew up with were... okay, I guess? My parents always made sure I had enough food and clothes and stuff. But the thing was, they never wanted anything to do with my music. Heck, they actively tried to discourage me because they wanted me to be a..." He paused and shook his head. "Doesn't matter what they wanted for me. The point is, it wasn't what I wanted.

"I fought hard for my music— er, not literally with swords and stuff, but the struggle was still very much real— because I wanted to be what I wanted to be, not what other people tell me I should be. And that's perfectly okay. Better than okay really, I think that's something great.

"Point is... It's okay to want things, Pearl. I know first hand how hard it can be to even just let yourself think about wanting something when everyone in your life, including yourself, is saying that you're not allowed. But even then, I can't even begin to imagine how much you're struggling with, and I know I haven't been the best support I could be, but... I honestly want to do better by you. I want to be able to support you in whatever you want to do."

"What I want to do..." Pearl echoed. She stared down at her feet. Her hands were still clasped in front of her, grip tightening so much until they shook. It looked painful. "What I want, is to be able to do things for you and Steven again. Even just little things, like making popcorn the way Steven likes them, or pulling a chair out for you during movie nights. I…" She shifted her stance, before looking back up at Greg. "I want to feel useful."

"You don't have to serve us like that anymore. You are not our slave."

"But I still want to do things for you... a-as family." There was a glimmer in Pearl's eyes now, an earnest openness that Greg felt like he hadn't seen that often, if he ever did. "That's what families do, isn't it? Help each other?"

"You really think of us as family?"

"From what I understand of the concept... Yes. I do." She looked away, bowing her head low. "And if you'll have me, I... I want to be a part of that again."

"Oh Pearl. You never stopped being a part of our family."

Greg moved to hug Pearl, only to catch himself in time, his arms awkwardly raised towards her. He met her eyes, silently asking for permission.

With a small nod, Pearl opened her arms to welcome the embrace.

Greg couldn't see her face just then, but he could feel her smiling.


As inappropriate a response as it was, Pearl had truly been enjoying building the drill. Not that she would have said so out loud, of course. That would have been in incredible bad taste. The Cluster posed an enormous threat to the Earth and everything that the Crystal Gems had fought for. Beyond that, there was the issue of how it had been created, which was all the more fraught after witnessing what had actually been done on the forced fusions.

But as horrible as the situation was, it had been a long time since she'd had a mechanical project like this, and it brought Pearl great joy and satisfaction.

She also had to admit, as wary as she was of the Homeworld Peridot, she was somewhat looking forward to having her join the build team. Blue Pearl was extremely competent and actually quite pleasant to work with, and the others were always eager to give a helping hand in their own way… But Pearl missed the company of other experts.

So after some days had passed, long enough for tempers to cool and the situation explained to Peridot, she was brought to the Beta Kindergarten. Steven had come along too, watching the proceedings with crossed arms. It made him bear an odd resemblance to Garnet, standing next to him in a near identical pose and a much colder expression. The Pearls lead Peridot through what they had done so far, outlining their plan, and then (somewhat reluctantly, on Pearl's part) admitting the very few areas where they had yet to quite grasp modern Homeworld technology.

Peridot listened, waited for them to finish. Then she nodded, clapped her hands and said, "Yes, very good. That will be all."

And for a brief moment, Pearl was not on Earth. She was on Homeworld, standing tiny in a mighty palace for beings five times her size, being ordered and ignored as though she were nothing more than a particularly pretty piece of furniture—

But even as her mind reeled, Pearl's mouth said, of its own accord, "What did you just say?"

"Hm? You can… go now?" A few of Peridot's floating fingers made a dismissive gesture.

Blue Pearl, who had gone very still, clasped her hands to her chest and opened her mouth to speak. Pearl braced herself for the murmured assent, and was surprised when what the other Pearl said was, "With respect, no."

Peridot blinked at her. "No?"

"That's right!'" Pearl puffed up her chest, and took a step closer to Blue Pearl. "No!"

"We do not take orders from you," Blue Pearl said simply.

"Oh." Peridot's fingers flew in sharply, her back going ramrod straight. "I see. Apologies for overstepping my bounds. Continue with your owner's orders, of course."

And just as it had begun to drain away, the fury and horror that had filled Pearl flooded back. Every sense and detail seemed to become extra vibrant, as though she was on a battlefield: the heat of the morning sun overhead, the sharp orange of the rocks, the flicker of blue lightning from Steven's clenched hands, Garnet holding him back—

That was a reassurance. Garnet was expecting Pearl to be able to handle this. And she could. She'd put up with worse during the Rebellion!

"We don't have orders," snapped Pearl. "We do what we like."

Peridot looked extremely confused, as if someone was insisting two and two made five. "Preposterous. You can't just— do what you like! You need instructions, things to do—"

"We have things to do. We're constructing this drill, and you are going to help us," said Pearl.

Peridot gave a pointed glance at Steven, still being gently restrained by Garnet. "Perhaps your owner could confirm—"

"Steven is not my owner." Blue Pearl's voice was quieter, less sure than it had been before, but she had still said it. "He's my family."

Faltering, Peridot turned to Pearl. "Then how about yours?"

For a moment, Pearl's traitorous mind supplied the image of Pink Diamond.

No. No, Pearl told herself fiercely. Pink Diamond was gone. Rose and Pearl had made certain of that, had worked so hard to free her of that control, that ownership. This Peridot had no idea what she was talking about.

"I'm a free Gem," said Pearl, raising her head high.

"Then what are you for?"

"Whatever I like."

That, truly, seemed to leave Peridot speechless.

At least for a few moments, in which the only sounds in the entire Kindergarten seemed to be Steven Universe's heavy breathing. Then Peridot, eye twitching ever so slightly, said, "Prove it."

Pearl laughed. "Gladly!"

She felt a light hand on her shoulder. Blue Pearl said, "No."

"No?" Pearl and Peridot echoed.

"We have nothing we need to prove to you," said Blue Pearl, in that steady, quiet voice of hers. "We are not quartzes, showing off in a tournament. We have a drill to build— one we have nearly completed, without your help. We can finish it without you too, if you continue to display such obstinance and immaturity."

Peridot stared. Her gaze swung from Pearl, to Pearl, to Steven.

His smile was sharp. "You heard her!"

"FINE!" Peridot yelled, her fingers flying up into the air in exasperation. She stomped off without another word, grabbing some tools in a suspension beam as she went.

When she had disappeared into the drill's control room, Steven ran over, nearly slamming into Blue Pearl as though to embrace— then holding back at the last moment. He faltered and said, "That was- really awesome, Pearl."

"It was nothing," said Blue Pearl, blushing.

Garnet had come over too. She was grinning like an Earth predator.

"You enjoyed that," Pearl accused, putting a hand on her hip.

"Yes," said Garnet, not even bothering to deny it. She smirked. "I might have enjoyed the timelines where you punched her a little bit more, though."

Pearl couldn't help it— she laughed. To her surprise, Blue Pearl laughed too.

Yes, Pearl thought. Punching Peridot in the face would have been satisfying indeed. But the other Pearl was right. They had nothing to prove to her, and there was work to be getting on with.

Pearl smiled at Blue, and she smiled back.


As much as Steven was still frustrated at Pearl for keeping secrets (again), that wasn't enough to completely dampen his enthusiasm to actually see the drill being constructed, now that he knew it existed. He'd seen Pearl's precision many times, from her cooking meals to building furniture, but it was something else to see her with a welding iron…

And Pearl-sii was even more impressive. Whatever else could be said about the Crystal Gem, she was scarily competent.

Peridot, too, was really good at this, and looked especially wicked with her high tech fingers and holograms. But Steven was having a lot of trouble focusing on that.

He'd spent a lot of time when he was little, imagining the first time he met a Homeworld Gem. How they would salute to him, and address him as "My Diamond", and listen intently to his every idea and go to make them happen.

And Peridot was like that. While that could feel cool— really cool, actually— it was also kind of weird and uncomfortable. No matter how nice she was to him, Steven couldn't entirely shake the image of what she'd been doing to those fusions. The total lack of expression on her face the whole time.

… and the way she'd ordered Pearl around. The last nail in the coffin. The final proof that all that slavery stuff really was true.

Tucked in the shade of a person-shaped hole, Steven observed Peridot as she worked on three different mechanical parts at once. He took a deep breath, pushed off the wall, and strode towards it. "Peridot, we need to talk."

She focused instantly. "Of course! What can I assist you with, Steven?"

"Never talk to Pearl like that again," he told her.

She bobbed her head. "Of course, of course, I stepped out of line, she's not my Pearl to command—"

"She's not— she's not anyone's to command!" Steven snapped. "And not just her. Pearl-sii— Crystal Gem Pe— all the Pearls, okay? I never want to hear about you ordering them around again, okay?"

"Understood." Peridot saluted.

His heart was still thumping heavily in his chest, but Steven took a deep breath, and relaxed. Cool. Cool, that was handled. "Good," he said. Peridot was looking really worried, so he tried smiling at her. "Do you… think you could tell me what you're doing?"

"Of course!" Peridot said, and immediately launched into a long, complicated explanation involving about fifteen types of graphs. About 70% of it was beyond Steven, but that was fine. He would do his best to learn.


That evening, Pearl returned to the barn. While many of the items there were technologically archaic even by Earth standards, they still contained metals and materials that could be useful for the Drill. Lapis had been helping her move the larger items outside, but the actual sorting and organization was all up to herself.

She was elbow deep in what she supposed was an aircraft engine when she heard someone ask, "Hey, Pearl. Got a sec?"

Pearl looked up from the engine, only to see Greg standing by the barn's entrance again. She blinked at him. "No, I still do not have a 'sec' among these things."

"I meant some of your time."

"I know," she said, withdrawing her arms from the engine. "It was a joke this time."

"Oh." Greg blinked. "O-Oh! That is funny."

A ghost of a smile danced on Pearl's face. It vanished into her usual neutrality as she straightened and wiped the grease off her hands. "How may I be of assistance?"

"No assistance. I just wanted to talk, if you're not too busy?"

"Not at all. Please continue." She waved him in, a little human habit she'd picked up in her time on Earth.

Greg stepped inside, carefully closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall beside it. "I've been thinking a lot since that talk we had this morning. About us being family. And, well... I figured that everyone in the family deserves to have their own personal space, y'know?"

Pearl's eyebrows knitted together. "I am not sure I follow."

"I have my van, Steven has his palanquin, and... You deserve to have your own space, too." He casually glanced around the barn, then cocked his head. "For now, how about this barn? If you want it, that is."

Pearl said nothing. Didn't even move.

Greg jumped to a straighter posture as if burned, nervously gesturing as he continued, "I-I mean, I know it's not a fancy apartment or anything— although I'm sure we could arrange for one of those, if you want. I just thought— That is to say I— If you want to have a place of your own, whether just temporary or something more permanent or— I just want you to be comfortable, you know? Whatever you're comfortable with."

Pearl stared. Greg's words were rushed and jumbled, as if desperate to fill the space between them. She wasn't sure if she understood what he was saying correctly, but if she had, then...

"You are offering this place... to be mine?"

"Yeah." Greg nodded. "Yes. It's all yours, Pearl."

Pearl blinked.

For her own?

In the apartment back in Korea, Greg had offered her a room as well. She hadn't understood what it meant at the time, had thought that it was a place they would store her in when they had no use of her. She had never made use of that room, not even to store the few meager belongings she'd possessed— she had her gem for that. Greg hadn't pressed, just assumed it was a Gem thing, and over time, almost absently started throwing old knick-knacks in there.

Things were different now, though. Greg probably understood her better now. And she understood humans— understood Greg— better. He was giving her her own space because he wanted her to have it.

She slowly surveyed the building she was organizing, as though she was seeing it again for the first time. Now that larger pieces had been moved outside, it was clear just how much floor space the barn had. A cursory tap of her foot against one of the pillars told her the wood was still good and solid. Glancing up, she wondered if the rafters retained a similar integrity.

"So... What do you think?" Greg asked her.

This is too much, I do not deserve this, I am merely a pearl— but she stamped those thoughts down. She was a Pearl, yes, but there was nothing 'merely' about that. If the events earlier at the Drill helped her realize anything, it was that no one should look down on her for being who or what she was, not even herself.

It's okay to want things, Pearl. Greg's words from before echoed in her mind

Nodding to herself, she turned around and smiled. "Thank you, Greg. It is perfect."

"Great! I'm glad you think so." Greg smiled back, before shyly rubbing the back of his head. "Guess I'll leave you to it, then. If you need any help with sprucing up the place or, well, anything really, don't hesitate to ask. Okay?"

Pearl nodded once more, watching Greg leave and shut the door behind him.

She glanced around again, this time surveying the place closely for what it could be. It was still half-full with human paraphernalia and mechanical implements at the moment, but once she had cleared those out...

What then?

It wasn't big and well-adorned like the spires and meeting halls she'd been to, by Blue Diamond's side. But it wasn't small and plain like the storage rooms she'd been sometimes kept in, among other Pearls, either.

There was nothing remarkable about the barn. In fact, it had nothing going for it at all.

But it was hers now, for her to do what she willed. Not that she had decided on what to do with it, exactly. Despite all the clutter, it felt too empty somehow, and the cramped space felt too big.

Far too big.

Suddenly, she felt very alone inside her barn.

"Pearl?" Steven's voice sounded muffled coming from the other side of the the door— her door. He knocked twice before continuing, "Pearl, I got your suit. The one we got in Empire City a while ago?"

"Thank you, dear." Pearl opened the door wide for him. "Would you like to come in?"

Steven shook his head. "Maybe next time. I should be heading to sleep soon." He gave her a strained smile as he held the suit towards her.

"I look forward to your visit, then." She gingerly took the garment in her hands and carefully draped it over one arm. "Good night, Steven."

"Good night, Pearl."

She watched as Steven returned to the Palanquin, curtains billowing as he drew them shut.

Pearl closed her door and leaned heavily against it. She stared at the orange tuxedo suit on her arm, neatly pressed and loosely set on a hanger. It felt a lifetime ago when they had bought it, even though it had only been a few months. Barely anything, in objective Homeworld time. She searched around the barn to see if there was anything she could hang it from, preferably somewhere far from any grease.

At the far side of the door, a nail poked out of the wall. She decided that was the perfect place.

Pearl hung the suit to the wall— her wall. It was such a small and simple thing to do, something she had done countless times before with Steven's and Greg's clothing. But this time felt important, somehow. Like the barn was no longer empty.

Perhaps it would be nice to fill this space with more things that were hers, she thought.


Log Date 3 16 2

I overstepped my bounds today. Despite by newfound proximity to a Diamond, my rank has not changed. I must remember that.