Chapter Forty Five:

Pearl sat there for an unknown amount of time, holding Steven's soft, warm body, until finally the sobbing subsided and he pulled out of her hold. With his cries gone, the command chamber did not feel quite so horribly vast.

But they were still on the cold, hard floor, Steven leaning against the throne and Pearl sitting not too far across from him.

Her hands were in her lap, folding onto each other. She wanted to reach out and hold his hand, to offer a reassuring touch, but Steven's hands were hidden in his own lap and Pearl wasn't sure how he'd feel about her simply reaching over and grabbing his hand.

So instead she sat there, silently waiting for Steven to say anything. And for a long time neither of them said anything, only looking at each other or at the floor or down at their own laps.

But finally, Pearl felt the need to say something, and spoke, "Steven… Are you… okay?" It was a foolish question she knew: clearly, he wasn't. But she needed to try and understand what had happened exactly.

For several more moments, Steven didn't say anything or make any indication he heard her. Not until his mouth twitched and he spoke, though still keeping his eyes downward. "Pearl?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, dear?"

"Did— I mean, have you ever met someone, and thought you knew them, only to learn more about them and realize you were completely wrong?"

Pearl felt a jolt in her chest, her suspicion morphing into a cold confirmation.

"I suppose that is inevitable," Pearl answered simply. "There are so many different people, it is impossible to truly know and understand them all completely."

"Yeah," Steven remarked, head slowly bobbing up and down. "I guess, especially if you've never really met the person before…" More silent moments followed before Steven continued, "Pearl? Can I— Can I ask you a question? A really important one."

Pearl squeezed her clasped together hands. "Of course, sweetie."

Steven hesitated a second before asking in a very small voice, "Do you… Do you think Mom loved me?"

Pearl bit her lower lip, her initial, knee jerk answer catching in her throat. She knew what her answer was, what it would have been had Steven perhaps waited to ask this. But Steven didn't need to be reminded of the cold, harsh truths of the world right now. Steven needed a warm embrace and reassurance.

"In her own way, she did," Pearl said evenly. "More than she loved… almost anything else, I would say."

"But she didn't even know me."

"Yes," Pearl said, considering her words carefully. "But she wanted to. And she had her own expectations for you."

"Yeah… I know."

Steven seemed to shrink in on himself then. He didn't say anything for several long moments, and when he finally did, his tone had a definite tinge of reproach to it. "Pearl? Why did you bring me here now?"

"What do you mean?" Pearl said delicately, though she was fairly certain she knew.

"Like, now? Why not— years ago, or years later, or…" He trailed off into incoherent grumblings.

Pearl gave herself time to carefully lay out her thoughts before answering. "I should have told you about the Drill," she said. He blinked at her with red-tinged eyes. "I thought you would react as you would have an infant. But you have taken the information… in stride."

Steven nodded, crossing his arms. "I'm not a baby."

She smiled only a little at his pout. Despite his still sometimes immature attitude… "No. You are not." Pearl sighed. "Which is why this was… difficult."

Steven blinked at her again, this time with confusion.

"Your mother always wanted you to inherit her position when you were ready. Not just this ship, but… everything it means to be a Diamond." Which would mean… Well, Pearl was not sure what it would mean. But certainly no more private lessons with a lowly Pearl, no more beach days, no more having Steven fall asleep in her lap…

It had been selfish. Horribly, horribly selfish. But she had not wanted any of that to end.

"I knew you deserved to know more than I was telling you. That you deserved your own ship. But what if Blue Diamond had left a message saying it was time to return to Homeworld, then we— or rather, I— would have no choice but to obey, and…"

Pearl shook her head.

There was the sound of Steven shifting… and a moment later, she felt his hand on her shoulder. "Who cares what she said?" Steven asked, giving her a defiant look. "You don't want to go to Homeworld. I sure don't want to go to Homeworld. So we'll stay here, and do whatever we want."

Pearl felt her eyes fluttering at him, and was thankful she had opted not to wear her hair clip today.

"She's not here. But we are," Steven said, a firmness starting to creep into his voice. "We're here. And that's what matters."

Pearl was quiet. Perhaps it would be best left there, but…

"Yes… she is no longer here," Pearl said.

Steven said nothing. Instead, he gently traced the outline of where his gem was. Pearl knew what he was thinking— he had asked similar questions when he was younger, although back then they had been filled with more mirth and wonder.

She pursed her lips, continuing, "I have watched over you for many years, Steven. And of all the things I have learned, it is that you are not her. You are Steven… My Starlight."

Steven raised his head, blinking at her and wiping away a few straggling tears. "S-Starlight?"

The corners of Pearl's mouth tightened. "Is that not a prefered term?" she asked stiffly.

"N-no, no," Steven said quickly. "It's just that you've never called me that before." A small smile crept across if face. "I… kinda like it, actually."

Pearl felt herself loosen a little. "I see. Well, I believe it is a very fitting name."

Steven wiped his eyes with his bare arm and then crawled over to Pearl, snuggling next to her, not unlike they had many nights at the Palanquin when reading stories together.

"Why's that?" he asked. "Because I'm so bright?"

Pearl grinned at the comment. "Perhaps," she said lightly. "But also because starlight is very precious."

"It is?"

Pearl nodded. "A star, the light and heat that it produces, is the basis for all life throughout the known universe," she said. "They are mighty, incredible things, with some older than Homeworld still providing light and life to the worlds they shine upon."

"Ohh," Steven cooed. "I'd never thought about it like that."

"That is why you are like starlight," Pearl said. "You shine light and life to those all around you."

Steven sniffed and shifted. He didn't say anything, but he huddled closer to Pearl, wrapping his arms around her, she doing the same, letting one of her arms rest around him.

"I love you, Pearl."

"And I you, my precious Starlight."

They stuck around the spaceship for a little longer. Steven didn't really want to… but he had promised to change the security settings for Pearl. It was kinda tricky, but with her help, she showed him how to make it so any Gem could come into the ship, no matter their rank.

He still felt kind of unsteady, and his eyes were scratchy, but Steven was glad they'd come.

Just, he hoped the next time Pearl wanted to give him some super important part of his Diamond legacy, he wouldn't do it only a few hours before he was going to be meeting Connie's family for a 'super important' get together.


To say Doug was excited for this dinner would be a gross understatement.

When Priyanka had first suggested inviting the Universes over, he was over the moon. Mr Universe himself! Coming over to his home! It wasn't like Doug was a huge fan who'd collected all his albums (including the indie ones from before he made it big), or anything like that.

Then add on the fact that Mr. Universe had basically helped save his daughter's life… and, yeah. Doug was feeling pretty amped for this. (Amped. Like, for music? Get it?). Also, more than a little nervous.

Doug was passing by the kitchen, making a mental note to check the rice in a bit, when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" he called, excitement already building in this stomach.

Connie called down from the stairs, "But Dad, the chicken is still—"

"Mr. Universe! A pleasure!" Doug greeted as he opened the door. He took the rockstar's hand and vigorously shook it with both of his own and... not quite letting go until Priyanka came behind him, clearing her throat.

"The pleasure is all ours," he responded. "And please, you can just call me Greg."

"Of course, Greg. Welcome to our home!" He swept his hand out and stepped aside, letting the Universes in.

After Greg came in his son, Steven, wearing a green collared shirt and hair neatly combed. "Nice to meet you, Doctor and Mr Maheswaran," he said, the picture of good manners. Doug didn't need to see his wife's satisfied little nod to know she approved.

The fact that Mr. Universe even had a son had been news to Doug. A little poke around Wikipedia (not that he'd been snooping or anything) had confirmed it. On the English language version, Mr. Universe's family wasn't much more than a footnote, but it seemed as though it had been the source of some minor scandal in Korea. Suddenly dropping out of music to care for his son, the mother a mystery to the tabloids…

… a mystery which was about to be solved, it seemed, as Steven was followed by a petite woman, wearing a blue sundress which matched her complexion and hair, the latter of which was pulled back by a yellow hair clip.

Doug nodded at her as she entered and he shut the door behind them. "And you must be Steven's mother! I can see the family resemblance, he looks just like you."

The Universes all exchanged looks, and Doug's stomach shifted uneasily. Had he said something wrong?

"Ah," Pearl said. "I am not Steven's mother. I am his... Guardian."

An awkward silence descended among them. Doug wasn't exactly sure what she meant by 'guardian' exactly? A step-parent, perhaps? That would make the most sense.

"Well, we're glad to have you all with us," Priyanka said, cutting the tension.

"Happy to be here," Greg said before sniffing. "Mmm~! Something smells nice!"

"Yes, we're having chicken tikka masala," Doug said. "It was my grandmother's recipe and I can tell you that it is amazing. Nothing beats a traditional, home-cooked—"

Doug blinked, his mind suddenly shooting back to the cooking meal. "The rice! I need to—"

"Don't worry, Dad. I took it off the burner."

Connie walked in from the hall, joining them in the living room. She was dressed now, wearing her white blouse and dress pants. "Hello, Mr. Universe; Pearl."

"Heya, Connie. Good to see ya," Greg said.

"It is. Hello, Connie," Pearl greeted.

Connie smiled, "Hi, Steven. You look nice. I like your shirt."

"Oh," Steven said. "Um, hi Connie. I like your blouse."

Connie giggled in response, which just seemed to leave Steven even more bashful.

"Well, thanks to Connie's timely intervention, dinner should be ready soon," Doug said, clapping his hands together. "So shall we adjourn to the dining table?"

(Connie rolled her eyes. His child never appreciated his ironic use of sophisticated language).

(Unless maybe she was right, and he really was that embarrassing?)

(He wasn't, right?)

"You bet," Greg said. "I'm starving."

Priyanka laughed. "Then you've come to the right place. Doug's been cooking all afternoon." She looked over at Connie, "Dear, why don't you seat our guests while your father and I get the food ready."

Connie nodded. "Okay. If you'll follow me," she said as she led them to their dinner for the night.

So, yes. Maybe Doug had spent the entire afternoon worrying about this dinner. What he'd say, how he'd act. It wasn't just a matter of making a good impression in front of Mr. Universe, but also the family of Connie's new friend.

It turned out… he really shouldn't have worried. At all. Steven was a cute kid. He and Connie spent almost the whole night chatting and giggling to each other at the kid's end of the table. Priyanka and Pearl began with a discussion about creating a properly balanced diet for their children, and were soon in rapt conversation about the general public's inability to evaluate medical research properly. Doug began, somewhat stiltedly, asking about Greg's music career, very aware the guy must get tons of questions about it. But Greg was really chill, and didn't mind at all. By the end of the night, they were discussing their favourite anime.

Also, Greg really liked Doug's cooking. That was really nice too.


When the 'dinner party' was finished, Lapis was there, waiting for them, perched on the top of Greg's van.

"How was it?" Lapis asked. She was greeted by a chorus of 'good', 'really fun!' and 'pleasant'. Lapis nodded, accepting this, even though she found very little of the concept appealing.

Everyone began to pile into the van, to drive Steven home, but Lapis suggested that she take Pearl. "You're working on the drill tonight, right? I can get you there faster."

She was a little hesitant to say that part out loud, since even passing mentions of the drill were still enough to make Steven grumpy. But he didn't even blink, just gave Lapis a thumbs-up. Pearl, for her part, nodded. "That would be appreciated, yes."

After the others said their last goodbyes to their human friends, the van trundled away, looking far too big for the streets it was driving in. Lapis waited a little longer than strictly necessary to pick Pearl up and take off. She just wasn't sure what the best way to carry her would be. That type of thing had never been a concern for her before— but then, it had never been an issue, before the mirror. She hadn't been a transport vehicle, she hadn't had to think about the most comfortable or dignified way to carry another Gem—

The question was settled without Lapis even having to say anything. Pearl simply walked up behind her, and wrapped her arms around Lapis's shoulders.

"Ready?" Pearl asked.

Lapis practically rocketed into the night sky.

"It's pretty," Pearl commented, peeking over Lapis's shoulder once they level out.

Lapis looked down. It was. Little black houses, twisting streets, all speckled with lights— yellow, white, red…

But… "It's kind of repetitive," Lapis said. She shrugged. "After spending four or how many hours staring at it, I could use a change of scenery."

"Were you bored?" Pearl asked, in her ear.

Lapis shrugged again. The first little while had been interesting, getting to explore the neighbourhood, startle some of the humans. Then the novelty had worn off, and she'd settled into waiting and watching. Her main passtime, these days. "I was fine."

"You could have joined us," Pearl said. "Steven offered. So did Greg. I'm fairly certain the Maheswarans would not have minded. The dinner was enjoyable."

"You don't eat," Lapis pointed out. She put on a burst of speed as a warm updraft came up beneath her, a rarity in the cooling night air.

Pearl let out a little noise at the speed— not quite a sigh, not quite a squeak. It sounded like it was probably a happy sound, so Lapis didn't slow down. "It wasn't the food," Pearl said. "Humans need to eat, but they mostly use it as an… excuse for conversation. It's a nice tradition. Simply speaking with people because you can."

"Hmm," said Lapis, noncommittal. She didn't know how to put into words the sheer… discomfort, she felt, trying to talk with someone she doesn't know, without a purpose to the conversation. Especially humans. So she asked, instead, "What do you like about it?"

Her companion went very, very quiet, in the ways that Pearls often did. The Earth passed below them, now streaked with highways still filled with cars.

"I like being able to speak. It wasn't something I was… allowed to do, before."

"Oh. Right." Well. Now Lapis felt bad.

"But it's more than that," Pearl continued. "It's… knowing that the people I'm speaking with are actually interested in what I have to say. And the Maheswarans were. When they asked me 'How do you spend your time?', they aren't checking to make sure I was on task. They just… wanted to know.

"Connie especially. I see why Steven likes her."

"Oh?" prompted Lapis.

"Yes," murmured Pearl, as they glided over a large, still pond. "She joined us in some of our lessons, did you know? She was very attentive, clever, hardworking. Very polite. She sees things from a new perspective."

"Sounds like she'd make a good Pearl," Lapis teased. In the back of her mind, she reflected that such a comment should be an insult, but in that moment, she'd truly, genuinely meant it as a compliment.

Which was how Pearl took it, thankfully. She let out a little laugh and said, "It would certainly be a sight to see."

They fell into a companionable silence, and flew on. After a few minutes, Pearl said, "This isn't the way to to the nearest warp pad, is it?"

"Ah. No." They lost a little height as Lapis's wings stuttered. "I was… taking the, er, scenic route to Beta. That, uh— Is that cool?"

A pause. And then Pearl gripped her a little tighter. "Yes. I do believe it is 'cool'."

Pearl's touch was very different from Steven's, the only other person Lapis had ever carried like this. He was warm and soft and malleable. The heart beating in his chest was a constant rhythm. But Pearl was hard, steady, like polished stone. Like a Lapis. Well, like any normal Gem, presumably, but other Lapises were the only frame of reference she had.

Something brushed Lapis's legs. She jerked in surprise.

But it was just some leaves. In her distraction, she'd floated so low down that she'd nearly flown them right into a grove of trees. Lapis quickly pulled them back up.

Beta was a fair distance. Not huge, obviously. Earth was only a single planet, and not an overly large one at that. Its distances were tiny compared to the vast stretches of space that Lapis was used to traversing. But an atmosphere slowed her down, of course, and anyway… She found she didn't really want to go at her full speed. Not right now.

So they flew. Sometimes they carried on in companionable silence. Sometimes they spoke. The pair of them would point out some feature or other of the landscape below them, and it would be a jumping off point, and soon they would be on another topic entirely, and neither of them could entirely say how they'd gotten there…

By the time Pearl was complimenting her on how nice her dress was, and "Oh, there are some human designers with some lovely styles that would compliment your gem's color perfectly", Lapis thought: Oh. She's flirting.

It took a few moments for that to register.

Then there was a flicker of panic—

— then calm. Okay. Flirting. Lapis could handle flirting. She'd used to do it with other Lazulis. She used to enjoy it. And of course, anyone caught flirting with another kind of Gem, let alone someone else's Pearl— a Diamond's Pearl, at that— would have been in hot magma, but—

But she was on Earth. And 'her Diamond' was a 12-year-old human boy who likes cuddling while watching romance movies. Who was going to care?

So Lapis flirted back.

It was fun.

But it couldn't go on forever. Eventually yellow began to creep over the edge of the horizon. The landscape below them changed again. Not human settlements or highways, or watery pond, or fresh forests. Life began to wither into the stark, orange rock beneath. The mark of the Kindergarten, stark and barren after all this millenia.

It had never really bothered Lapis much before, but maybe she could understand why the Crystal Gems found it so unpleasant. At least a little.

"How's the progress on the drill going?" Lapis asked as they got closer.

"Very well," said Pearl. "We're in the final stages. We could begin drilling in a few days, if we had to, but Peridot thinks we should do some test runs, and I'm inclined to agree. All readings show that we have time yet before the Cluster truly becomes a threat, and we should take advantage of that to ensure our drill is as stable as it can possibly be."

"Mm. That's good," Lapis said, and she meant it. "So… I guess you'll be working on it less, soon, huh? I mean, you, and other Pearl, and Peridot."

"A little, yes. But it's still going to be my main focus until the Cluster has been decommissioned."

"Right, right! Sure. Of course." Lapis fought to keep her disappointment out of her voice, and seemed to have worked.

At least until they were close enough to the project site itself that the Drill was visible, and the sound of Peridot and White Pearl working on it was loud enough to be heard twenty odd feet above. Lapis was about to dive down to meet them, but Pearl said, "Wait."

Lapis waited.

"Are you going to stay and work on the drill with us?"

Lapis shrugged. "If you want me to."

"... but you don't want to, do you?"

Lapis shrugged again. She didn't, but, "... does that matter? This is important."

"Yes, but, you're not…"

Pearl trailed off, and Lapis could guess what she was thinking, but was too polite to say. "I can't do anything? Yeah. I'm useless at mechanics." She didn't feel any shame at admitting it; it just wasn't what she'd been made for. "But I can still try to help you, if you want."

"But what do you want?" Pearl's voice was quiet, but insistent.

And Lapis didn't know how to answer her. "Dunno."

Gradually, she brought them closer to the ground. Let Pearl slide off her back. Lapis was having trouble focusing on keeping them in the air, and this feels like a conversation they should be having face-to-face.

"I don't really have anything I want to do," Lapis said, flatly, as Pearl fixed her gaze on her. "I'm a terraformer without anything to terraform. So I might as well help with the drill."

"Or wait five hours for us to eat dinner. Or finish exploring Blue Diamond's ship." Pearl nodded, but she was frowning. "Yes. I understand. I really do understand. Earth is… terrifying, in its freedom."

Lapis crossed her arms. "I'm not scared. I'm just—"

Bored.

Less bored than I was in the mirror, Lapis shot back at herself. But that bar was so low to clear, it was practically embedded in the ground.

"Greg's suggested I try some clubs," said Pearl.

Lapis looked at her. "Like… combat?" She wasn't totally surprised Pearl might want to start learning to fight, but she hadn't imagined her to pick up a club as her weapon of choice.

Pearl shook her head. "A human term for extracurricular activities that people do in groups."

"Oh," said Lapis. "Right."

"Next week I am going to try… 'card night' with Greg. I'm not sure if I will like it, but I am going to try it and see. If you wish, you are more than welcome to join me."

Lapis looked at her for a few long moments, then said, "Sure, why not?"

The genuine, heartfelt smile that produced on Pearl's face certainly made it worthwhile.

"Then I look forward to it," Pearl said. She briefly reached out, and squeezed Lapis's shoulder. "For now, you really don't have to stay unless you'd like to. If not… Well, Steven gave me some books and other forms of entertainment for my barn. Feel free to h— borrow them, if you'd like."

Lapis found most human entertainment baffling, especially without Steven there to explain parts of it, but again, all she thought was Why not?

"Okay," Lapis said. "I'll try. You— have fun, I guess."

"You know?" Pearl said, turning her gaze down the canyon, where White Pearl could be seen in the dawn light, busily working on the drill. Pearl smiled. "I think I will."


Connie's weekday curfew was a strict 8:00pm lights out. On Fridays, Saturdays, and Weekends that got extended to 9:00, and Connie always relished in it, even when that extra hour was being used for chores like tonight. Yes, there were dishes to clean, a table to wipe, and leftovers to be arranged, but she hardly minded all that. She was beaming as she she wiped down the glasses.

She could barely even remember the last person she'd invited over to her family's house. It had been… three moves ago, maybe four. The girl's name had escaped her, leaving only an impression of freckles and red hair.

But it had led to an evening of stilted conversation, and the girl picking uncomfortably through her curry and avoiding her vegetables, and judgemental looks from her parents. And the next week at school the girl had avoided Connie, and Connie had hidden in the school library and tried not to cry, and in the end none of it had even mattered because they'd moved away three weeks later.

But tonight… it hadn't gone like that.

Dad plucked a dry glass from Connie's hand, put it away on a high shelf and commented, "That was nice."

"Yes," said Connie and Mom in unison. "It was."

Mother and daughter looked at each other in mild surprise, Dad chuckling at them.

"But yes," continued Mom, smiling one of her rare genuinely-pleased smiles. "The Universes are a lovely family. I wonder why we didn't have them over earlier."

Connie shrugged as she started drying the cutlery.

"Life," said Dad. "We got busy. But with some extra free time ahead of us, we should do this again. And, oh, we should get to know your other friend's family."

Connie froze.

Mom said, "What's her name again?"

"Amethyst," said Dad.

"Ah, yes," said Mom, pausing just a moment on the unusualness of it. "I agree. They saved Connie's life, it's only right we do something with them…"

"What?" said Connie.