Chapter 16

"Breathe…just breathe Sumi."

Her clammy hands clenched and unclenched as she stood in the dark, unseen for the moment. She watched her heart's desire talking to her brother and the other Shinsengumi and strained her ears to hear their conversation.
"…Let me show you" her brother said, letting out the signal for his agents to reveal themselves.

Shit…

"So close…" she uttered to herself as her treacherous heart fluttered and tried to escape from her chest. She imagined herself walking up to him and gently touching his arm, she imagined a smile on his lips as he turned and gathered her in his arms.

Stop! Yamazaki Kasumi stop right now!

Her mind raced, half disbelieving that everything had come down to this eventuality.

He has someone, a pretty little thing. She reminded herself, staring down at her bloodstained hands, she clenched them again, feeling pain shoot up her injured arm like a sharp knife point.
No blood on her hands…innocent.
You, you are broken Kasumi.

A soft sigh of hopelessness escaped her dry lips, she licked them, knowing that it would have the exact opposite effect to what she needed.
He doesn't know who you are.

Her heart sank at the reality, he didn't know her, he wouldn't recognize her, it would be the first time they met…at least for him it would be.

The many months of watching him, playing his silent guard, flashed before her eyes.
Her brother had expected something was wrong with Okita long before Okita himself had realised. Her mission was to watch and report, she followed his every step, every move and discovered a man filled with hidden compassion and pride.

He was fierce but soft, demanding but caring, strong-willed, graceful, skilled beyond any other swordsman. She found him to be a conundrum, a puzzle of opposites, a treasure of no compare.

The day she discovered his secret, her heart had shattered into a million unrecognisable pieces, she had seen him on his knees, coughing one bloody cough after another, she followed him as he visited the doctor and came out a changed, somber man.
She cried, wept not only for him but the world itself, it would be an emptier place without his graceful walk and sharp mind, his beautiful smile would leave a void when it was gone.

He did not deserve this fate, Kasumi had seen her mother waste away, in her last days she did not even faintly resemble the beautiful, inspiring human she once was. She lay on her death bed, her body only a ruined shell, her mind turned to a mere fog of thoughts.
Okita Souji would not meet that fate.

She bid him farewell on a sunny day, in a random street in Kyoto. He had been on patrol and found himself being attacked by some common street scum. He felled them with grace and precision until his lungs committed bloody treason. She saved him, then disappeared into nothingness.

She abandoned her post in search of some kind of cure, she lied to her brother, her commander, she could not tell him of her discovery. Okita would be shattered if his friends found out. The Shinsengumi on their part would, out of empathy and concern, remove him from his duties, take away his reason for being.

She spent weeks searching, asking, interrogating…finally she found the old man.
He was a seedy, rough individual meddling with things no-one should, the smell of sulphur and rot swirling in his abode. She begged and he gave her a temporary cure, at a price.

She drew a finger along the jagged scar running from her pulse to her elbow.

Her blood is priceless, her descendants pure and righteous, near magical as the old man had said. He took her blood, used it for unimaginable, unforgivable things, in exchange he gave her a vial, just one.

Seeing you now, standing head held high, I don't regret a thing I've done.

She silently listened to the men's conversation, her heart thumping in fear and excitement, half hoping she would not have to reveal herself.
"Something that I have wondered about for years is your second. Does the spymaster have a second in command?" Hijikata Toushizo's question tore her from her thoughts.
The lump in her throat grew, she would have to reveal herself, Susumu could not lie to his commander about this.

With a deep breath she persuaded herself.
He won't recognize you. He doesn't know who you are. You are broken. Your heart doesn't matter. You are a spy and an assassin, ACT like one!

She heard the laugh spill from her lips like it was someone else's voice, to her it sounded hollow and fake, just like her life of pretending. A practiced smile painted over her face as she readied to expose herself.

Act like one, Yamazaki Kasumi. Was her last thought before she stepped from the shadows into the soft light of the fire. Her legs moved mechanically, stiff and awkward, her heart coming closer to bursting out of her chest with each step she took closer to Okita Souji.


From the darkness came light.

The sound wove and spun around every fiber of his body, making him light headed and exuberant. Each note the sound reached sent him into a higher state of ecstasy, sending his thoughts into a whirlwind, tugging and pushing at his heart.

He recognised that laugh, the sound that played in his ears brought emotions that he had never felt, it strummed through his entire being like a beautiful symphony causing him to feel invigorated. He would recognise that laugh anywhere, it had been haunting him for the longest time.

A sudden rush of relief washed over him. She is alive. Followed by an instant constricting of his heart. And she's here.

"Meet Yamazaki Kasumi, my second in command…" Susumu's voice penetrated his elated state.
"Kasumi" he couldn't breathe. Her name was just like her, ethereal, mysterious, uncatchable… Mist…

Her light extinguished all other as she revealed herself from amongst the dark trees. Okita saw a goddess. A flash of the beautiful Yuki Ona came to him before his eyes drowned in the beauty that was Kasumi.

He tried to take all of her in, but failed.
Her hair was silken and black as the night sky, faint shimmers of blue and purple reflecting off singular strands as they caught the firelight and played with it frivolously.
Her lips were full, luscious and curved in a beautiful smile. Okita was sure that those lips would be soft and sweet to kiss, how he ached to feel them on his, run his hands through her long, straight hair.
She was tall, elegant as she strode towards them, her steps measured and confident. Her legs long and muscular, tapered off into beautiful, curvy hips. Her walk was so graceful that it hurt Okita to watch, each step made his chest tighten even more.

His eyes involuntarily followed the line of her perfect straight nose and high cheekbones until she was close enough to see her eyes.
Mismatched.
Blue and brown, some say it's a curse, but to Okita it was the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Her gaze was warm and a mischievous glint danced around in their depths, teasingly flitting over the Shinsengumi as she approached. His heart jumped as her eyes met his with an intense gaze, the faint smell of orange blossom wafting through the air brought him a final confirmation.


Is he staring? No, I'm imagining it. He doesn't know who you are Kasumi. He's probably comparing you to his little pretty thing, thinking about her and how much he misses her.


Her eyes moved away from him and confusion filled his mind…no recognition.
She stepped past him without a blink of an eye, her attention only momentarily on him before it shifted to Susumu.
Why?

"Commander" she rich, melodic voice said lazily as she half saluted Susumu.

Look at me, show me it's you. Okita felt frustration rise in his chest.

"Sumi-imouto!" Susumu's voice echoed in Okita's ears.
Sumi?…why are you so familiar with Yamazaki? Could it be…" Okita felt the sharp pang of jealousy instantly and irrationally stab in his chest.

"Why are you limping? Your arm, you said it was minor!" Susumu complained with worry, stepping closer to Kasumi and gently taking her bound wrist.
"Oniichan." Kasumi whined as she flinched, her still healing ribs pulling as Susumu stretched out her arm to inspect her injuries.
"Your ribs? Sumi what really happened?"
"Oniichan! It's nothing, just don't touch me!" Kasumi took back her wrist and held it to her chest.

Oniichan…oniichan…oniichan… The word repeated in Okita's mind until…Oh SHIT!
Okita was rudely brought back to reality when the word eventually started making sense in his muddled mind.

"Wow" was all Nagakura uttered, instantly blushing as her eyes met his.
"Shinpachi-dono" Kasumi said, giving him a slight nod in return to his red cheeks.
"Hijikata-dono, Sanosuke-dono" She gave them each a beautiful smile and lowered her gaze in respect.
"It is clear which sibling was favoured at birth in the Yamazaki family, it's a pleasure to finally meet you Kasumi-senpai." Hijikata took Kasumi's uninjured hand in his own and gave it a light squeeze.
"Thank you, Hijikata-dono." She said softly, her eyes still pinned to the ground.

Harada took a while longer to gather his thoughts.
"I…wasn't aware that Susumu-san had a younger sister, but I can see why he would keep you from us…" Harada chuckled as he glanced over to Nagakura. "Especially with him around" Harada looked back at Kasumi, cheekily ending his sentence with a wink.
Kasumi couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
"Believe me Sanosuke-dono, I can look after myself, even with a man as renowned as Shinpachi-dono." She grinned cheekily, even though she still tried to avoid any contact with Okita.
"Those stories are completely untrue!" Nagakura insisted, pulling the most offended face he could muster.

"Sumi-imouto, will you not introduce yourself to Souji-dono?" Susumu interrupted, thinking his little sister's actions to be very strange indeed, so demure…and she had practically been ignoring Okita since she came from her hiding place, this was not the Kasumi he knew, in the past she would have already struck up a joking conversation with Harada and most probably teased Nagakura to no end.

"Onii-chan." She nodded.
Slowly she turned to face Okita, heart pounding, ears burning.
She looked up and their eyes met.


Okita stood staring, his ears hearing nothing but the blood rushing through his veins. There it was. Recognition. A faint flicker in her eye told him what he already knew but needed to see.
Words came from her mouth, but all he could do was stare at the beautiful arch of her lips, how they moved so eloquently, the faint rose color of them catching the highlights of the warm fire light.
Hachi, she's beautiful.


He's just staring. Is there something wrong with me? No…he knows?…he knows! How?
The realisation sank in slowly, seeped through her thoughts as her heart ran rampant in her chest. He knows.


Okita shook himself from his reverie when he noticed that the moment had grown awkward. She was waiting for a response, her eyes nearly pleading for him to say something.
"Sorry Kasumi-senpai, I think I am still a bit shaken from the battle…I…I…could you please repeat what you said."

Silence.

Brows creased in worry and confusion as Okita felt himself shrink in the wake of their stares.
Great Okita! You buffoon, you look like a complete idiot now.

"Sure…" Kasumi said, her voice tight with nervous tension.
"It's an honour to meet you Okita Souji-dono" she said as she bowed her head slightly, hiding her eyes under long, black eyelashes.
"The honour is mine Kasumi-senpai" he answered giving her a bow in return.
She was silent for a few moments, like she was waiting for more.

Say something idiot. Okita berated himself, all the questions he had before falling away as he looked at her beautiful face.

"I…" he began.
"Sumi-imouto, can I speak with you." Susumu's voice came loud and clear, completely destroying Okita's soft spoken sentence.
Susumu gently pushed Kasumi away from the group and Okita watched as his chance slipped through his fingers.

Moments later Okita felt a light hand on his shoulder, it was Hijikata.
"A word Okita." He said sternly and Okita was thrown back into his own reality, one he had hoped would never materialise.


"How long?" was all Hijikata asked, his voice lined with worry and a tinge of anger.
Okita squirmed under his intense stare.
"Two, maybe three months…" Okita said softly.
Raising one eyebrow, Hijikata made it clear that he did not believe Okita's words.
"Okay…" Okita sighed "Seven months."

The silence that followed was deafening. Hijikata shifting his weight uncomfortably as he digested the information.
"Seven months?" he blurted out eventually. "How? Why? You should have told me."
"I…I couldn't." Okita's head lowered as he felt shame wash over him, his best friend felt betrayed.
"I was afraid that you would take away my rank, my men…I'm still afraid that you will. I…I can't lose everything."

Hijikata stared at his friend, brow furrowed deeply as he thought about the situation.
"Are you being treated?"
Okita's mind immediately went to the green vials he had been receiving from Kasumi, then his mind shifted to her and he became lost in the vision of her, her grace, her beauty, he grew silent as his mind wandered.

"Okita?" Hijikata said worriedly, interrupting Okita's dream.
"Sorry, Yes…yes I'm getting treatment." He nodded.
"Will you be able to finish the mission?"
Okita lifted his head in surprise, looking at Hijikata with new hope.
"Of course, I am fine…mostly."
"Then we will deal with this once we are back home, we should not upset the rest of the men right before battle." Hijikata said slowly.
Okita's eyes spoke of his relief and joy, his tense muscles immediately relaxing at Hijikata's words.

"But you will stay by my side from now on, I need to keep an eye on you, for your safety and the rest of the men, I will not tolerate another fit of bloodlust."

Hijikata's voice was stern and left no space for argument, unlike the voice that broke through and rose above the night sky, echoing through the clearing. Okita and Hijikata both turned in the direction the sound was coming from. The voice was angry, very angry. Both moved towards the clearing and their friends, their temporary plan fixed, curious to see why and who was causing the ruckus.


"They're obviously having some kind of brother, sister fight." Nagakura commented as he looked at the odd pair staring each other down.

Kasumi was much taller than her brother and was clearly not intimidated by Susumu's legendary menacing stare, Susumu on the other hand was not at all irked by his sister's towering body. They looked each other boldly in the face, neither giving an inch.

Susumu reached for his sister's arm again, which she quickly snatched away from him, clearly agitated. She said something to him in anger and for the first time in the Shinsengumi's history, Yamazaki Susumu lost his temper in front of his friends.

"Stop acting like a damn child!"
"Only if you stop treating me like one!" Kasumi shouted at her brother, her voice lifted into the air again, attracting even more attention. "I'm a grown woman… In case you missed it, I've been for a very long time!"
"I'm still older than you…" Susumu started but was rudely interrupted.
"Really?...You're using THAT as an argument?" Kasumi's head reared in anger, her eyes burning like coals from a fire.
"Then I will order you home as your Commander!" Susumu glared at his sister.

Stalemate.

She stared at him, her anger making her eyes narrow and her lips drawn.
"You can not do this without me." she said in a deadly calm voice, so threatening that it made more than one man shiver down his spine.

She turned on her heel and stalked off, the cloud of anger around her affecting everyone as she passed. She briefly stopped when she reached the gathered Captains who had been watching their loud sibling squabble.
"It was an honour meeting you all." she said in a low tone and gave a slight, respectful nod.
Her eyes met Okita's and he saw her face soften, a gentle smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I great honour" she muttered softly as she passed them, her shoulder briefly brushing against Okita before she seemingly vanished into the night air.

Okita spent long moments staring at the space she had occupied only a few seconds before, his arm searing from their momentary touch. He did not hear Susumu's approach and only faintly noticed his complaints about his little sister. He longed to follow her, ask her all the questions that have been milling in his mind, longed to wrap his arms around her and taste her beautiful lips, he longed to know her.

"Okita. Okita?" Harada's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Are you coming?" he asked when he saw Okita eventually respond.
"Yes" Okita said as he made to walk with his friends, jamming his hands into his Haori's pockets he felt a familiar glass object, it was a vial, a vial that he knew was green and held a liquid, a liquid that was his cure.

He could only smile as he wondered how Kasumi had managed to slip it into his pocket without him realising. He felt alive again, his heart soaring to even higher spaces as he thought of the beautiful Yamazaki Kasumi. His smile broadening with each step he took.