It was the starting day of the mock chunin exam and Naruto was in class not a minute later than 7am, by far the earliest he had ever turned up to the academy. He had already paced his bedroom for nearly two hours after waking in the dead of night in anticipation, feeling too buzzed to go back to bed. This was going to be so cool!
Unfortunately, it turned out that waiting at the academy was no less frustrating than waiting at home, even with a few of his classmates turning up early too. They weren't the greatest conversation after all, so he was forced to resort to other methods of amusing himself.Methods that involved a bucket of water and a door just barely ajar.
Iruka always turned up promptly to class at exactly 7:45am, the same time he had turned up every day for as long as Naruto could remember, so there wasn't any chance of him pranking the wrong person if he timed it right.
The handle turned and he grinned in anticipation, anticipation that turned into terror when, at 7:44 the bucket of water intended for Iruka sploshed all over a tiny grey eyed girl. 'eep...' the girl squeaked, cheeks glowing red in embarrassment and not a little surprise.
His sensei turned up not fifteen seconds later.
'Naruto! You've gone too far this time!'
He had already pulled down the academy window and stuck his head out before Iruka just barely managed to foist his escape attempt by grabbing onto an orange pantleg.
'I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to fall on her, honest! If you had just come on time--'
Iruka bopped him over the head 'So you wanted to get me instead? You think that'll get you off the hook?!'
'Ouch! It was just a little joke, and I had to sit here and do nothing for like, a whole hour!'
'Well, isn't that what you usually do all the time in class anyways?' Kiba, the third tallest kid in the class with a real big mouth and a stupid face decided to interject, probably trying to get him in even more trouble, the jerk.
'Shut up, dog breath!'
In the end he was forced to mop the entire class- twice- and help Iruka-sensei hand out a sheet of paper and a carved wooden thing-amajing to every student. He couldn'teven mess with Kiba by swapping his token with Shikamaru's, 'cause Iruka sensei swore to have him mopping the entire academy if he put one toe out of line for the rest of the day.
It wasn't an empty threat. He'd been forced to do worse before.
He plopped back into his seat with a huff of annoyance.
When he had finished handing the items out to everyone else in the class Iruka-sensei gave him his own slip of paper and token. There were three lines of kanji drawn on the sheet, personalised as each of the others were.
I was blessed with eyes that can see.
I secretly love a red fruit.
I am marked by the fan.
What the hell was this supposed to be? Blessed by eyes that can see? As far as he knew there were no blind academy students, so what was this all about? A riddle obviously, but what for?
'Every one of you has a riddle that will lead you to your partner for the exam, partners have been chosen at random so don't expect to go through the exam with your friend. When you kids become genin you'll have no choice in who your teammates will be so it's best if you get used to being on teams with people you may not know all that well.'
Ahh, so that was what the riddle was for. Naruto didn't know how he felt about being partnered with someone who was seemingly obsessed with strawberries. Were strawberries even fruit again? He slapped his head in realization. Of course strawberries were fruit! They definitely weren't vegetables, were they?!
'The talisman you hold is one part of a pair, each talisman is held by one half of the team. If you think you've figured out the riddle you'll just need to hold up the talisman against your partners and you'll progress to the next round. If you get it wrong though, the talisman will turn black and you'll be disqualified from participating in the latter rounds, so think carefully before making a move. You are allowed to ask anyone not participating in the tournament any questions you'd like, but if you ask one of your classmates or any of the other third year academy students that would mean an immediate disqualification. Dont think you'll get away with cheating either.'
He took the warning to heart. His sensei was some sort of rule-breaking detector, he always seemed to know if you were doing something you shouldn't.
'You have until 1pm to figure out the riddle and find your partner. When you find your partner you are to meet up infront of the playground out back. Good luck!'
Iruka smiled at everyone and walked out of the classroom.
Amusingly, the first person to make a move was the lazy Shikimaru, who stood up from his desk and walked non-plussed over to a contemplative Sakura.
'W-what? Do you want something?'
Instead of answering he slapped his talisman on the one on Sakura's desk. It glowed faintly and then... with a poof of smoke... turned into a single blue talisman with the number five embossed.
'You idiot! What do you think you were doing just coming over here and poking my talisman without my permission?!'
'You're my teammate. See?' he pointed at the bluetalisman 'It's not black. Im guessing this means we're supposed to be team five, or team Blue Five if the colour scheme differs on each set.'
Sakura slammed her fist on the table and Naruto winced. That girl had a mean, mean violent streak if the wrong buttons were pushed. 'Thats not the point! What if you had been wrong and got me kicked out of the tournament, huh?! What would Sasuke-chan think if I couldn't even pass the first round of the tournament? Dont you have any manners?!'
Shikimaru was entirely unfazed at Sakura's tone nor her raised fist and Naruto felt his respect rise several notches as a result 'Troublesome... Look, I'll be sleeping under the tree in the playground, okay? Just wake me up when we're supposed to meet with Iruka-sensei.'
'Hey!! I wasn't done speaking to you yet! Get back here!! We're supposed to get to know each other for the exam!'
Sakura trailed after him, getting more enraged at every disregarded line.
Poor Shikimaru. Naruto had a sweet spot for Sakura, it was true, what with her pretty pink hair, captivating green
eyes and other positively adjective-d features, but Sakura could be a bit of a harpy at times and Shikimaru was just the sort of person to set her screeching. Anyways, not his problem. He had a test to do and he wasn't stupid enough to think that the rest of them would be able to figure out the riddle as easily as Shikimaru did, so it was best if he got started trying to work it out as soon as possible.
Sx
He had relayed to the participating third year students- nearly two-hundred in total, thanks to the petering nature of academy student membership- to meet at training ground three, one of the many clearings around Konoha designated for the ninja population to metaphorically sharpen their skills and the one he had himself used back under his Jounin sensei along with Mizuki. Most were rather Spartan though, the elaborate obstacle courses and faux- environments of villages like Cloud were changed out for simple wooden training posts, trampled grass and trees.
The Konoha Civilian Council was notoriously Spartan in the funds allocated for ninja training, dozens of intelligent and well-meaning people had come forward through the decades with proposed programs and updated curriculums. All had, without fail, been shot down.
Relatively new divisions that he had considered joining before deciding on the academy such as the RD department had only been given life by executive actions taken by the various Hokage, each of them noted for starting their each branch dedicated to their own interests. Though the fourth hokage's division hadn't really gotten off the ground before his early passing.
There was still an hour left but most of his class had already made it, making him proud. He must have been doing something right when it came to their training. Though... not much headroom on their attitudes, seeing as how Sakura had dragged a sleeping Shikimaru to the training ground and Kiba had immediately tried getting into fights with students from the other third year classes.
He sighed. His only students who had yet to make it back were Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki. No doubt Naruto would have been struggling with the riddle, but the Uchiha heiress shouldn't have had any trouble figuring it out. He liked the kid more than he should, but let it not be said that a ten year old Naruto Uzumaki was the most... multi-faceted of people. He could only hope that Naruto wasn't doing anything stupid again.
'We made it!' Naruto exclaimed nearly an hour later, minutes before the cut off time. A sedate looking Sasuke
strolled behind calmly.
He didn't miss the glare shot at him by the ten year old Uchiha. Put out with her partner, no doubt.
That would probably be the last of them, then. He cleared his throat to call for attention.
'Your task is to survive two nights in the forest and collect at least one other token from another team, as you can guess that means at least half of you will fail this exam. Those who make it through will have the next task explained to them after presenting their tokens on Monday morning in this clearing. You aren't awarded any points for having more than the required number of tokens so there is no need to rush. I recommend that each of you first set up camp before attacking another team.'
Some of the kids seemed alarmed, maybe unnerved at the prospect of spending a weekend in the forest.
'Dont worry though, you may not know it but there will be several chunin and jounin keeping an eye on you throughout the entire exam to make sure you aren't in any real danger and that you behave appropriately, though you cant ask any of them for help completing the exam. If you wish to quit atany point simply call out loudly for a proctor and one of the assigned ninja will escort you home. Understand?'
Cue reserved nods of acknowledgement and accompanied mutterings.
'Good luck to all of you!'
SX
Sasuke held up a hand to signify stopping a few minutes after they had left Iruka-sensei and hopped down into a clearing. Wondering what the deal was he followed and dismounted his tree branch with decidedly less grace.'Whats up?' he said 'We have the others after us already?'
Iruka-sensei had recommended they first set up a base before going after another token. They had two days after all, and it was important they have a safe spot to sleep and cook before sundown. It would take time to set up traps and take safety measures to make sure they weren't attacked in their sleep. He wouldn't take it for granted that
everyone would follow the guidelines, though. Some kids might take advantage of the fact that they were setting up camp to attack another group unawares. He didn't trust that Kiba Inuzuka. Guy was a sly dog, Naruto wouldn't put it past someone like that to play unfairly.
'No. We will be parting ways here. You are a liability to me. Your skills- or lack of them- will only serve to slow me down. I won't be carrying dead weight through this test.'
His eyes widened in surprise. He had never really gotten along with Sasuke, never spoken to the girl even, but as a fellow orphan he'd figured they would understand each other. 'What are you saying?!'
'Just stay out of my way. I do things on my own, all you have to do is hide in a hole somewhere for the weekend and make sure you don't knock yourself out tripping over a rock or something.' Sasuke said coolly
He clenched his fists. This bitch... 'I wont be tripping over anything, stupid! I don't need you either, you'll see!'
'Hmmm.' She hummed dismissively and disappeared into the trees too fast for him to make out anything more than a blur.
He would show the arrogant bint. He could totally get another token all on his own! Could get them all if he wanted to! He was Naruto Uzumaki, future no.1 badass hokage! He would be the tallest, strongest, ninja-est hokage of them all, then Sasuke would be all like, 'Im sorry I ever doubted you hokage-sama. You are way, way, way better than me.'
Then she'd probably say 'hmm' or something.
Filled with righteous indignation he ran off at top speed, trying to best Sasuke. He had barely made it out of the clearing when his foot snagged on something and he tripped, ass over end thanks to his momentum, and rolled into a ditch. Looking about wildly he shot to his feet and dusted himself off, whistling nervously.
Looking back his eye twitched. He had tripped over a rock. 'Damn it...'
SX
Naruto grinned from the bushes.
After seven hours of silently waiting in these bushes itlooked like he would finally snag a token. A cave stayed fixed in his eyesight, the perfect place to set up camp. Or, it was. Before he had booby-trapped the place, that was.
'Mizuiro! Mizuiro! I found a spot to set up camp!'
Another boy, brown haired walked up calmly in his khakis. 'Great, Chishiro! Lets get it all set up and start a fire for supper. I'm starting to get hungry.'
'Yeah, me too.'
The class 3B duo wandered into the cave and he waited until he heard stumbling and surprised shouts before stepping out to survey the damage. The cave was shallow and still pretty well lit in the afternoon light so he could make out their annoyed glances. They were both hung upside down from their ankles, the snares he had set up as a primary obstacle working as planned. He needn't have even bothered with the other dozen or so traps, the simplest traps were usually the best in practice.
'Naruto, so it was you who did this. What do you want?'
Come on, wasn't it obvious? 'Why don't you hand over your token and I'll let you free.'
'No way!' said Chishiro, swinging about from his rope trying in vain to wriggle free, no doubt.
He grinned toothily 'Well, then you'll be staying up there for a while.'
Chishiro remained impassive until he started rifling through their dropped bags, pulling out two cans of beans and a loaf of baked bread. 'Hey... Thats ours.'
He took a great big bite and swallowed. 'Oh? Well the bread is really good. I wonder what else you have in here.'
Faced with the prospect of having their food disappear the strung-up boys changed their tune 'Okay, okay already! We'll tell you, just let us loose first!'
'Hey, I'm not stupid. You aren't coming down from there until that token is in my hands, got it?' Bah. It was amateur hour around here.
'Tch. Its in my back pocket.' Said Mizuiro
He took the token out of Mizuiro's khakis and inspectedit. Unlike his team token- that Sasuke had run off with!- it was green and had the number three imprinted. There was no point crying about lost tokens now though, he would just have to get more tokens on his own and show that bitch he could carry himself through this exam.
'Hey, let us down already you blonde idiot.'
'Nope.'
'Wh-what? Hey! We had a deal!'
Naruto ignored the shouts and curses until he had finished eating. Then, he walked over and started drawing on their faces. He was outnumbered, it would be real dumb for him to go to all the effort of setting up a snare like that only to have the token taken back after cutting the rope. Only when he finished his artwork did Naruto answer the raving Chishiro 'I'll loosen the ropes a bit. If you wiggle around for twenty minutes or so you'll get out, I'll be long gone by then though.'
'You bastard! I'll kill you when I get out of this!'
Yeah, right.
SX
He had made a grave mistake. After the high of pulling one over those dumb guys from 3B he had gotten sloppy and sprung a pathetic trap on the first marks he'd come across. He had chosen the wrong marks though, his surprise appearance had been completelyexpectedthereby nullifying the surprise factor. Shino Aburame, the guy who showed less skin than a nun and wore glasses indoors, had been teamed up with Kiba himself.
The two of them may have been the worst choice he could have made when it came to using his pranking abilities. Shino had somehow known he was around since he had come within hearing distance from their makeshift hideout and Kiba could apparently smell him coming from a mile away. Put appropriate dog joke here. Now he was running for what passed as life.
'You're not going anywhere, Naruto!'
Kiba was fast. Faster than he should have been, since he ran here on all fours. Human beings were bipedal, that's why toddlers didn't start of walking and progress to crawling after months of struggle. He supposed that Kiba must have had some really, really strange ancestors. Or maybe it was
another of those human cheat-code genetic mutations the politically correct called bloodline traits.
He pirouetted and stopped almost immediately. His new escape route had already been blocked off. Shino stood imperiously, oversized beige coat fluttering in the breeze. You come off really intimidating if no-one could see your eyes. It seemed there would be no way out of this and he tensed up, ready to put up a fight.
'Hah!' Kiba laughed 'You really chose the wrong guys to mess with, dumbass. You may as well quit the whole thing now already, no way is someone like you making it to the next round. Not even with that girl prodigy dragging your ass. You barely made it to this round!'
The laughter that followed clinched his decision to fight. He would slap the dog around for a bit to teach him a lesson.
'We should not taunt Naruto-san. Why? Because his teammate may be nearby and come to his aid.'
The dog-brained idiot waved Shino off and Naruto resisted growling in frustration. Damn that dark haired bitch for leaving him to deal with this crap on his own. 'Why don'tyou come and try for yourself, you stinky mutt?'
Kiba suddenly hunched over, as if in pain, and grew rabid. He couldn't explain it any better. Kiba's hair grew a few centimetres and jutted out every which way, his teeth grew longer and sharper, canines just barely jutting out of his mouth. His nails lengthened, then sharpened. It must have been a taijutsu technique of some sort, and he wasn't happy to admit, even if it was only to himself, that it was actually a pretty cool-looking techinique. He wouldn't be saying that aloud, though.
'What's that technique called? Rabies-no-Jutsu?' he said
Kiba growled, wild looking eyes staring furiously at him. 'You have a big mouth, deadlast. You'll be quiet after this, though.'
Then Kiba shot forward, hand swiping at him like a bear. He just barely dodged the swipe, claws tearing through his snagged jumpsuit with ease. He couldn't complain though, a fist was buried in his gut soon after, the strength behind it knocking some of the air from him. He recovered quickly though but could do nothing more than try his best to dodge the punches and kicks.
Naruto wasn't coming out of it clean, he'd already taken a cut to his face and a dozen body shots. There must have been a way out of this! He couldn't let Kiba beat him, he had only just gotten the token off those guys after spending nearly an entire day casing out that cave!
Think, think. He couldn't get his hands together to perform a replacement technique, he had just barely gotten the technique down a month back so he wasn't all that good with it yet. Kiba wasn't letting him fight back. He didn't have any jutsu, he hadn't set any traps and if he didn't have enough time to give a punch he wouldn't have enough time to draw a kunai and throw it.
Think. If he could just distract Kiba somehow, just get him distracted enough that he could launch a deciding blow he just might be able to get out of this yet. But what could he do?
He had it! Smirking, he took a shot to the face for his thoughts. 'Hey, Kiba?'
'What is it now? You giving up already?'
said Kiba, not pausing in his beatdown.
'Nope.' Then he proceeded to shoot the biggest, wettestshot of spit he had ever conceived straight into Kiba's disbelieving face.
'You-'
In that gap he had pulled his kunai and knocked it end first into the side of Kiba's head, forcing him to take a knee.
'Bastard!' Kiba roared. Naruto made to give another blow but paused when he felt another kunai, this one pressed to his neck.
'I believe that you are at a stalemate Naruto-san. You should hand over your token without any further delays. Why? Because you are outmatched and outnumbered.'
Before he could cry uncle someone he had never expected to see appeared, re-igniting his belief in karma. Sasuke had hopped down from the trees, kunai already drawn. For a minute she quietly surveyed the scene and both Kiba took in a breath, preparing himself for a trip to the infirmary. Sasuke was notoriously vicious during spars and training sessions back at the academy. Naruto grinned in satisfaction. Maybe Sasuke was good for something after all.
Then she snorted, and his stomach dropped. Without a word she had disappeared into the treeline once more, and Kiba decided to rub salt in his wounds. 'Hah! Even your teammate knows you're hopeless, you blonde runt. Now handover the token to Shino or else I'll do to you worse than a shot to the head.'
He had no choice. He swallowed his pride, fumbled about in his knapsack, and handed the green token over.
SX
The Monday morning that followed his stint in the training ground forest had a cheery air, the sun was out early, birds were chirping and he was sure that back in the village there were happy civilians smiling and greeting one another as they languidly made their way to their destinations. Probably no traffic either.
Naruto didn't share any of their cheer though, the lucky bastards.
He stumbled from the underbrush hair dirty, wild and stinking of sweat and dirt. He didn't care about his dishevelled appearance, all he wanted was something good to eat. Iruka was an asshole. They were a five minute walk away from Ichiraku's, close enough that he could smellthe boiling broth tantalising him in the wind all day yesterday, but he couldn't leave the forest to grab a bowl or twenty- not if he wanted to pass anyways.
So he had stuck through it, and now he was utterly miserable. And hungry.
'You actually made it here on your own, dobe? And here I was just about to go back in to grab you out of whatever hole you crept in.' Sasuke leaned up against a training post, smirking with her arms crossed over her chest.
'For your information, I managed to get another token all on my own even after you abandoned me with Shino and Kiba.' So saying he dropped a pink token to the ground and gave a smug look.
Sasuke didnt even pause. 'Wow. It took you two days to get two tokens? Thats really pathetic. Especially since you lost the first one. I decided to quit the first night in, we needed a third round after all. It would be boring otherwise.'
Then Sasuke dug her hands into both pockets and more than a dozentokens dropped to the floor. God, could anyone be more arrogant?
He pulled out a half finished can of disgustingly bland, staling beans--the sort that Iruka had recommended he buy, he recalled in frustration—and threw it at Sasuke's face.
The satisfaction he got hearing the 'Thwup' and watching her smug face turn bruised and furious was nearly as delicious as the ramen he would be gobbling down as soon as this thing was over.
Then she launched herself at him, punching and kicking. As fast and skilled as she was he still got in another shot at her face, deliberately aiming for the can shaped bruise. She turned, leg twisted around his waist in some sort of yoga wet dream and then Naruto found his body being contorted in ways that did not agree with his spine.With no leverage to speak of, he was held like a pretzel until Sasuke released him.
Not of her own free will though, she had been pulled off by Mizuki-sensei.
'Thats enough, Uchiha-san. Someone of your status shouldn't lower yourself to his level.'
Naruto wasn't happy with the comment, and Sasuke didn't look too happy either. Though her unhappiness was probably not indignation on his part. More like unhappiness caused by too little suffering on his part.
'Demented bitch.' He called out coolly'
'Pathetic loser.' She said
'Thats enough brat. Make your way to the gathered students now, before I decide to kick you out of this tournament for disobeying a superior.'
Why doesn't she get scolded, huh?Mizuki sensei could be a real asshole sometimes, like everybody else was whenever the perfect little princess Sasuke Uchiha was involved.
She followed behind him as he stalked off, close enough to throw an insult or two but not so close as to make anyone think they were on friendly terms.
'Sasuke-chan! What happened to your face?! Who hurt you? I'll beat them to a pulp!' Sakura Haruno was surprisingly well dressed and proper, pink hair completely free of dirt, twigs or sweat and outfit smelling of softener and perfume.
'You talk a lot for someone who called uncle three hours into our exam, troublesome girl.' Shikamaru retorted under his breath, trailing behind Sakura.
Sakura rounded on Shikamaru with a raised fist, the other wrapped around the front of his shirt. 'What was that you lazy ass? You dare to interrupt me when Im chatting to Sasuke chan? Huh?'
'Tch. Let go of me, I don't want any problems.'
Sasuke ignored all of this, probably too concerned with the giant stick shoved up her ass to deign mere mortals with her divine attention. Sakura couldn't catch a hintthough, bless her.
'So, Sasuke chan, who did this to you? I'll totally handle it for you, you know!' she gleamed, and even he knew that she had touched a nerve that was best left ignored.
'I can handle my own business, don't get involved or else you'll regret it.'
Naruto winced at the threatening tone. Way to show team spirit. Sakura swooned instead, and he decided that he would rather not be in the Uchiha's company any longer.
Shooting a look at Shikimaru he said 'Hey, Shikimaru, why don't we go looking for Choji? I'm sure he passed, right?'
Shikimaru gave a long suffering sigh. 'I cant be bothered to get up right now.'
He raised an eyebrow 'So you'd rather stay here with these two?'
'... Let's go then.' Shikimaru said, holding up an arm for Naruto to raise him to his feet. He really was a lazy ass he thought, and pulled Shikimaru into his regular lazy slouch.Now that he looked Shikimaru was pretty well dressed too, just as Sakura had been.
'Hey Shikimaru, whats up with the clothes? I thought that you'd look a bit more, you know, messed up after a weekend in the forest.'
Shikimaru twitched. 'Well, yeah. Sakura decided to give up a few hours into the test after a spider climbed into her hair.'
Whoa. Now that was pretty pathetic, his respect for her dropped a few notches. 'You don't sound all that upset about it, though.'
Shikimaru gave a short, sharp chuckle. Actual laughter was too troublesome, of course.
'What, you kidding? Two days spent at home having three regular meals cooked for me, eight hours of cloud watching and a warm bed instead of making fires, running around for a token and having to make camp? I would have quite five minutes in if my mom wasn't so anal.'
Of course Shikimaru would find the whole exercise annoying. Hard work? No way, not in my vocabulary. He felt sorry for Shikimaru's 'anal' mom. With a son as lazy as he was she would have her hand pretty full. Getting him up from bed in the morning was probably an exercise in futility.
Wait, did he say 8 hours of cloudwatching?!'
Anyways, what with Sakura being the one to give up and all mom didn't really throw that much of a fit so it was all good.'
'You really are a lazy ass, Shikimaru. What about honour, personal integrity and dedication to achieving a worthwhile goal?'
'Hey, hey, do you even know what half that stuff you just said means? You should lay off the late night informercials, you wont grow if you don't get any sleep.'
Naruto grimaced. This guy was could be such a know it all.
'Besides, all that stuff is just too much work. You know how much trouble it would be to work at winning this tournament?'
'Shika, Naruto! There you guys are, I didn't see you guys during the test.' Choji was remarkably snack free for the first time Naruto could recall. Well, it wasn't like they had convenience stores in the forest so that was to be expected. At least someone else understood struggle.
'Hey Choji! So, you made it through the test too huh? Shikamaru quit on day one.'
'Yeah, I very nearly quit too after I finished off my last snack pack. But I figured there was only a few hours left until the test was over so I stuck it out.'
The tub of lard actually seemed proud of himself for holding out for a few hours. He would have killed for a snack pack twenty hours into this whole shebang, but what did he get instead? Pilfered ass-beans, thats what!
'So, everyone's here then?' Iruka calked out a while later.Good, that means I can explain the last part of the test to you all.'
Iruka sensei was looking particularly well-rested and not at all craving a bowl of ramen, and Naruto just wanted to shout at him to spit it out and let him get to his favourite ramen bar. And since he didn't have any sense of propriety or manners he did so.
'Hey, Iruka! Just get this thing over with already, there's a bowl of ramen with my name on it back at Ichiraku's! Besides, I'm too tired to handle your blabbing right now!
'Yep, Iruka wasn't at all pleased about that response. He still hurried it up though, which was all Naruto had wanted anyways. When Iruka had finished and thedropouts had lined up to head off to the academy for the day he bolted, weighing the costs and benefits of gorging on two of each flavour of ramen versus having no electricity or milk for the rest of the month.
Oh well. Hot water was overrated anyways.
