(1) This is the first chapter of the second arc (Arc One being the Academy Exams). This chapter and the last have used the more preferred quotation " " marks instead of the (tx) ' ' marks, as suggested to me. I will go back and do the same to earlier chapters.
(2) It may be a while before I release the next chapter, simply because support for this story is pretty much non-existent. I dont yet have skin thick enough to keep releasing chapters of a story no-one seems to like and would rather work on this and other stories in the background without releasing them or releasing a chapter only when Ive already got a few completed.
I don't want to make it seem like I'm holding chapters ransom, thats not what I'm about, but I really enjoy writing and I cant take the disappoint and demotivation of releasing a chapter I think is decent to the sound of crickets. It saps my zest for writing and makes the process feel like a chore instead of the delightful hobby it should be. And I may decide to just release as I go along without any expectations but I thought it was important to at least mention the possibility.
(3) Noticed that my previous commitment to keep to english terms as much as possible wasnt really followed and several mispellings, grammatical errors, etc managed to slip through the cracks. May go back to edit in future.
(4) Back to more story-specific info. Naruto will, as has been shown, use puppet-inspired armour powered by fuinjutsu as opposed to chakra strings, which he will never be able to use. I find one of the inconsistencies in the actual Naruto story that Naruto's chakra levels are actually underrated when compared to other higher class individuals. Bar none, Naruto is THE chakra battery. If an average kage bunshin takes more chakra to make than ten regular bunshin (a vastly off count and more chakra than the average green genin can produce) and Naruto can create thousands and still have them perform techniques even more chakra intensive than themselves it is safe to say that his reserves are enormous.
"Today is the day! You've tried out early twice and flopped, but now you will be vindicated."
Stomp. Stomp.
"A life of adventure and intrigue, ninja techniques powerful enough to level mountains and badass companions who get your sense of humour and dont mind if sometimes you pull out your formula journal to work on a potentially important problem."
Naruto stomped forward, voice carrying an air of authority and power. His charisma was palpable, his body language exuding confidence. Even Cicero would be impressed at his speaking ability.
He may very well have been an army general or benevolent emperor in a past life.
"There is only one thing in your way. And though it is hard, and the enemy has defeated you at every meeting thus far, you will not let up and today you will stand the victor!"
He slapped his hands together and a little boy jumped in fright on the pavement.
"So please, just perform the damn bunshin already!"
Half hearted clapping.
He looked overhead, where his mortal enemy, bane of existence and first choice to be cannobolized if a post-apocolyptic world ever arose, stood horizontal on a bakery sign.
"Bravo. Your rousing speech has woken up everyone in the village who doesnt give a damn. That means everybody, if you didnt know it already."
"Screw off, Sasuke. And take your damn feet off that sign, you'll get it dirty. You think you're impressing anyone just because you know the wall walking exercise?"
Sasuke hopped down. "Hmm. Theres nobody I want to impress, dobe."
He continued walking and she followed. He upped the pace. She followed. He moved his legs so fast they were a blur, each stride longer than hers. Still, she followed.
"Gah! Is there something you want from me?!"
She smirked in the way that still made him want to strangle the life out of her.
"Im just here to take a good look at you. Your forlorn, hopeless look after you fail the exam is going to be so much sweeter after seeing your stupidly confident one this morning. I want to burn that look into my memory to saviour for as long as I live."
"Burning it into your memory would be a lot better if you had the sharingan. Wasnt that the dojutsu of ypur clan? That is, if you're actually an Uchiha, bastard."
Years of banter had desensitized him to most of her retorts and given him a few sore spots to poke whenever she got a little too mouthy. Not to disappoint, she was pissed.
"I guess we'll see how witty you are when you fail for the third me. Something tells me you'll be a lot less mouthy then, dead last."
She walked away, thankfully.
"I haven't been the dead last for years!" He called back, and was ignored.
She would see. He was Naruto Uzumaki, future armoured Hokage and greatest ninja to ever grace the elemental nations- also, the universe in general. He had this exam in the bag. The test papers would be a cinch, weapons throwing a breeze. General fitness and martial arts a cakewalk. Not even that damned tricky illusion would get in his way this time. He had a good feeling about his chances at passing this today, and his feelings never let him astray.
Amusingly, when Naruto got to class it was to find Shikimaru laying across the desk covered by a blanket. His usual class outfit was even messier than usual, jacket inside out and black tee back to front.
Snorting, he shoved the boy off.
"Naruto, you're an ass."
Shikimaru said this upon making rough acquiantance with the floor, without opening his eyes.
"Why would you say it was me? It could have been anyone."
"Its always you. Or one of those troublesome girls. My eardrums arent being blown apart right now so you are the perpertrator."
"Thats some fucked up logic right there, Shika."
Shikimaru yawned. "Meh. It works."
Stepping over his friend, Naruto pulled out a seat and got comfortable. "What are you doing here this time anyway? It's like, two hours before class. You're never early."
"Mom threw me out at four thirty this morning. Said that since it was graduation day I should be excited and getting ready. When I said getting excited about a troublesome job like being a ninja would feel like way too much effort and that I felt like throwing the whole test to become a simple shopkeeper she attacked me woth a soup ladle."
Naruto laughed. "You'd think you would learn your lesson by now. So you threw on your clothes as quick as you could and sneaked out with the blanket when she went to try and get your dad involved."
''Yep. Now let me get back to sleep already.'
Naruto sat on the academy swing. There was an excited buzz in the air and it felt like every parent was congratulating their kid on passing. All his classmates had on a new, shiny metal head protector. He wasn't so lucky.
Failed. Again. This was ridiculous!
He had done so well Iruka had congratulated him halfway through! He had even beaten the unbeatable Uchiha in weapons throwing and general fitness!
So why was it that a single jutsu gone wrong meant he was unfit for ninja life?
Maybe he should call it quits. This was becoming ridiculous. It had been rather apparent to him a while in that the bunshin was beyond him. He had the raw power, but some aspects of his chakra system was anathema to that particular technique.
Naruto had hoped it wasn't so, had tried to delude himself into thinking that if he just practiced often enough, followed his chakra control training diligently enough and wished hard enough he could overcome it.
Well, positive thinking wasn't going to fix this.
And then the world loudly proclaimed that today he was going to be fucked up the ass twice. Sasuke was walking over, the glinting ninja forehead protector attached to her hip.
She looked... odd. She didn't have the cheshire cat grin he had expected. If he wasn't so upset he would have called her expression sympathetic.
"Come to rub it in my face? That's what you said you wanted, right?" Naruto said bitterly.
She blinked.
"'I-"
"Dont even try to deny it. Well, you know what, you were right. I failed again. I feel like crap, and I dont want to deal with you. Just fuck off already."
Sasuke's face became vicious. "Fine. I'll leave. You were never cut out to be a ninja anyway. You should just give it up, pathetic loser."
He sucked in a breath. Were his thoughts that easy to read or had everyone already come to that conclusion?
Maybe the life of a ninja really just wasn't for him.
Naruto had circled the Hokage Tower seventeen times. Eyes blank, head down and shoulders slumped over.
He had made his decision. Let it not be said that he was a complete idiot. Trying the same thing over and over was not going to get him a different result. Truth was, life wasnt fair. His dream had been rigged against him from the start.
Over a thousand hours of chakra control exercises had only made his control worse, the deliberate practice inciting his reserves to grow ever larger and ever denser.
All he had to do was muster up the courage to go in there and call it quits. Make his dropout official.
A blur of movement from the topmost window caught his attention. That wasn't too unusual. Ninja came and went from the tower on a regular basis, and for some reason a whole bunch of them were adverse to coming and going from the door like regular people.
What was weird was that it was Mizuki, his class's assistant teacjer. A man who never had any business at the tower and who was now running like the possessed, eyes darting about with a huge scroll slung over his shpulder.
It could have been a mission. He could have been blowing the whole thing out of proportion. But Naruto followed anyway.
Naruto was fast, very fast. Fast enough that even when keeping as stealthy as possible to make sure Mizuki didnt realize he was being tailed he could still keep even with the chunin rank ninja's mad dash.
They ran right through the village, jumping on rooftops, scaling down gutters and leaping fences. And then to make him even more suspicious of foul play they ran right over the wooden wall of Konoha instead of checking out at the gate with the guards.
Unless Mizuki had been given an S-rank mission this was against the rules. As, from what he could tell, Mizuki was a rather average Chunin there was no way he would be given a mission of that difficulty, least of all solo.
They ran on, through the fifty foot tall trees of the forest. Until Mizuki decided he was far enough to have gotten away and stopped on the forest floor, barking a triumphant laugh. The man was obviously pleased at having pulled one over the village and run off with a precious scroll.
He had never liked Mizuki, not really. Not even after the guy had treated them all to dango that one time, or even after he had ducked points from the Uchiha bitch in that taijutsu exhibition. He hadn't thought the guy was a dirty little snake though.
He hopped down for what his mind had already felt would be an awesome, action-movie worthy confrontation.
"Naruto, what are you doing here?"
"What am I doing? What are you doing! You're stealing that scroll from the village!"
Mizuki wasn't even fazed, the slick bastard. "W-what? Stealing? I would never do something like that! I shouldn't really be telling you this, but I am on a special mission on behalf of hokage-sama, you see. I cant really give you any more details than that, but this scroll right here needs to be delivered to a certain location at a certain time for the good of the village."
Naruto gave a nod of understanding.
"Ohh, I see, that makes perfect sense then... Not!"
How dumb did this guy think he was.
"Tch, you should have just taken the hint and disappeared quietly brat."
Mizuki threw a kunai straight for his head, hoping to end it in one clean move no doubt. The exercises Naruto had been practicing religiously had him dodging it as though it were moving through jelly.
The next two kunai were dodged with the same ease as he closed in, chakra being channelled to the tiny seal inscribed over his right forearm.
'poof!'
A sleek silver gauntlet appeared, thin patterns shining on it's smooth surface in bright orange. The Gauntlet mk2.
He channelled chakra to his arm once more and a thin, crackling beam of fire shot towards Mizuki's vest. Fire comes courtesy of the Uchiha condensed beam of fire was called the elemental condensed recycled beam, but he wasn't going to be shouting out all his technique names in a situation as serious as this.
The beam had penetrated nearly all the way through the traitor Mizuki's armoured vest, not doing any real damage but probably scorching him something fierce and ensuring a trip to the clothing store.
For all his ineptitude and degraded skills Mizuki had still been a chunin, even an academy student as awesome as him wouldn't be able to take the man on in a fair fight.
Mizuki struck at him with a powerful jab to the face that had him seeing double momentarily. Diversionary tactics it was. Raising the gauntlet slightly he tried for another of his techniques. 'Scatter Shot!'
A quick burst of flame shot from his palm with a crack like a shotgun blast, too weak to set even a candle alight but bright enough to confuse Mizuki and give him the seconds he needed to create some distance between them.
Now that he had used a second flame technique there was probably barely enough stored away in his gauntlet for two, maybe three more uses.
"You know, when I first started at the academy I wondered why a demon like you was so weak. Always pulling those stupid pranks but incapable of showing any sort of skill or power. Then, for whatever reason you decided to show your hand. Always working with that bizarre sealing of yours. Second in the martial arts class. Becoming a prodigy overnight."
Naruto paused. "A demon?'
Mizuki smiled cruelly. "Oh come on. Dont act like you dont know. You, Naruto Uzumaki, are the Nine-Tailed Fox reborn!"
"W-what?"
"You're either a damn good actor or you really dont know. Thirteen years ago the Nine-Tailed Fox attacked this village. It was taller than the Hokage Mountain, with eyes as red as blood and teeth larger than than I am were killed."
Mizuki paused for dramatic effect. "That creature was sealed inside you. You, Naruto, are the Nine-Tailed Fo-"
Tzzah. Another condensed recycled beam was shot, this one passing through the armour less sleeve of Mizuki's right arm. Without the aid of that pesky armour his beam could pierce almost all the way through flesh and bone. That arm would be useless now.
"Aaah!" Mizuki screamed
"Shut up already. How stupid are you anyway, giving a boss villain level monologue in the middle of a fight? You think I was just going to wait for you politely?"
Mizuki glared. "You damned demon."
"I am no more a demon than my fridge is milk and eggs. Putting something into a box or container doesnt turn that container into what was added, dumb ass. And you just said I was always busy with my sealing. You think I wouldn't tell the difference? I know, maybe you thought in thirteen years I wouldn't see the giant tattoo on my stomach that appeared whenever I channeled chakra."
Whilst talking Naruto had unsealed a length of rope from his silver gauntlet and made quick work of tying up the wailing Mizuki. Having a beam burn through most of the bone, muscle and joints in your bicep couldn't hurt that bad right?
"Naruto! Whats going on here?"
His other class teacher appeared as he started dragging a gagged Mizuki back toward the village. If Naruto was as cynical as ninja were supposed to be he would first question Iruka for being a potential accomplice.
As it was though he shot the man a grin and tossed him the scroll that had been awkwardly balanced on his shoulder. He knew Iruka, after all.
"Iruka! Great, it would have sucked to carry both Mizuki and the scroll back by myself. You're always there when I need you, sensei."
Iruka frowned. "Did you do this?"
"Yep. Now give me a hand, I cant carry all this by myself you know. You take the scroll and I'll take the bastard Mizuki."
Iruka was confused, and Naruto planned to keep it that way. It was the ultimate justice after years of boring lectures that left his head feeling muddled and heavy.
Iruka sighed. "You take the scroll, I'll take Mizuki."
He pouted. "That sucks. I wanted to drop him a few times on the way."
"That isnt how we treat suspected traitors, Naruto."
"Suspected? The guy literally ran off with a scroll like ten minutes ago. I bet half the village saw him."
"Either way, we dont treat anyone that way."
"Even if he's an asshole?"
Iruka struggled to keep from smiling. "Even then. Treat others with dignity and respect, even if you think they're an asshole. Or I would have dropped you in the street about a million times by now."
He nodded in acceptance. It made sense. Treat others the way you want to be treated... Wait a minute...
"Oy! What are you trying to imply?!"
Iruka bailed, taking off with the bound Mizuki and a laugh. "Come on, Naruto. Keep up. We need to call off the search party."
The return trip was longer than his mad dash following Mizuki, they were weighed down and Iruka was going slower for his benefit. Not that he needed it, but his sensei didnt know that and Naruto felt touched at the gesture anyway.
When they reached the bright red Hokage Tower Naruto felt his earlier unease creep back in.
"Are you alright, Naruto?"
He gave a shaky smile. "Awesome, as always."
Iruka laid a hand on his shoulder. "Dont worry, you arent in any trouble. Lord Hokage will probably reward you for your help. You achieved a great thing today, Naruto."
Not the thing I wanted to achieve today.
The secretary waves us in without a word, frowning slightly. She was still upset with me after I had gotten her to pass along a fresh bowl of ramen to Gramps years back. A fresh bowl that was spiked with a half bottle of laxative.
Inside the office, Gramps was seated behind his desk with a pipe in mouth. Stacks of paper were piled on either side on the desk, framing the old man like a window. I dont remember ever seeing the man do paperwork and I had been in here more times than I could count.
"Report."
Iruka stood straighter. "Chunin, Iruka Umino ID35003. Reporting in regards to immediate action search and detain of suspected traitor, Chunin Mizuki."
"You're always so by the book, Iruka. What happened? And why is Naruto with you?"
"Naruto Uzumaki is the one who captured Mizuki and retrieved the scroll, sir."
Gramps nearly dropped his pipe. "Really? You mean he helped you defeat Mizuki?"
"No, by the time I arrived Mizuki had already been bound and injured. From what I can tell Naruto tracked and defeated Mizuki alone."
Gramps smiled proudly and Naruto couldnt help the warm feeling that welled up as a consequence.
"That is most impressive. And I take it the scroll wasnt harmed in any way?"
Iruka nodded meaningfully, tapping him to place the scroll on the paper covered desk. "All right then. I dont think this could have been resolved any better than it has. You're dismissed. Naruto, stay behind."
Iruka grabbed his shoulder. "I'll wait for you at the entrance. We can get some ramen together."
"Maybe another time, Iruka sensei. I want to talk with gramps for a while. "
Iruka nodded and smiled sympathetically, seeming to take Naruto's dismissal as him not being over the graduation flop.
When the door closed lightly Naruto stood silent. Shame kept his head bowed, the beginning of tears being held in the corner of his eyes. Naruto's first memories were of the old man smiling down at him in an amused fashion, pipe in hand and puffing away like a steamboat filling his nose with the acrid smell of tobacco.
Probably at another of his silly calls for attention. Jiji had always been there, a steadfast and loving pillar of support through it all. His entrance into the academy, his subsequent falling out with the orphanage matron, failed exams and the pain of childhood friends not made.
He had done things not strictly right before, but Naruto had never felt as much of a failure as he did now.
"Naruto... Whats the matter? What's got you so upset?" Jiji's concerned voice was just too much, and he burst into tears.
"I- I- I cant do it anymore, Gramps! Th-this was my third time failing, I c-cant go back there! N-nobody wants me there, nobody wants to help me and I try so hard! I try so hard..." Naruto sobbed and coughed, shoulders shaking with emotion
"I try so hard... But things never seem to go my way... I want to be a ninja so bad! But-"Arms wrapped around him and Naruto was clenched tightly to an old but still surprising firm chest.
"Im sorry. I'm so sorry that I couldn't look out for you, Naruto." He sobbed for a few minutes more, then felt mortified at the whole situation and released the hug. Face blushing with embarrassment he wiped his tears away, wishing he could disappear.
When he had collected himself the third hokage was seated comfortably in his chair, his face impassive, acting for all the world as if nothing had just happened. "Naruto, do you know why the three academy jutsu are required for graduating?"
He shook his head.
"When the Shodaime first created the academy it was decided that the foundation of successful ninja were the abilities to disguise oneself perfectly for infiltration missions, to avoid fatal attacks and create clones to disorient the enemy." here the old man took a deep drag on his pipe "This is what our village looks to create, the type of ninja who could infiltrate a secure environment, assassinate the target then escape unharmed. And in the generations that have passed through the academy ever since Konoha has become the masters of infiltration and capture."
Gramps waved his arms, gesturing to the office and the village behind him.
"This is our legacy... And whilst I as the hokage have the power to instate you as a ninja without having to see a clone jutsu performed I believe you can learn this jutsu, and if you know it by the day of orientation I wouldn't even need to pull rank."
Naruto sucked in a breath. "But, you know Jiji, I don't think I'll be able to do the clone. Owl said that it would be impossible for me to ever have good chakra control. He said that I have too much chakra and it's growing too fast for me to catch up, and I've been practicing control exercises every day for the last two years. So I wont be able to learn the bunshin anyway. No matter how hard I try it just gets more difficult for me to do it."
The Third Hokage pulled his hat down to shadow his face.
"Of course... You know, even though having a clone jutsu is a requirement it doesn't have to be the standard academy bunshin. There are dozens of clone jutsu. Though, it will be all but impossible for an academy student to have it taught to them. Its illegal for a registered ninja to pass on ninja techniques to a civilian, after all."
Hope soared. "I'll learn it then, no matter what! Even if I have to look through every book in the library or ask every ninja in the village I'll have it down by the orientation, no problem. Believe it!"
"... You do know there are no jutsu in the library, right?" said Gramps
Naruto scratched his head "W-well, of course I do! I'm not stupid, you know!"
"Hey Naruto, you know the forbidden scroll has a clone jutsu listed as the first technique?" The same scroll that now lay on the hokage's desk, haphazardly tossed between piles of paperwork and that he had just personally carried for miles.
"Just something I thought you might find interesting. Now then, I'll be turning around to have a smoke. You're a few decades early to know this, Naruto, but there's nothing quite like having a good smoke and looking at an even better view. Now, as you point out so often Naruto I am a rather old man, and old men can be forgiven for having rather poor hearing so don't go poking about while my back is turned, you hear?"
Then jiji gave a barely discernable wink and turned in his office chair, looking down at the village below and humming a jaunty old tune that Naruto had heard sung hundreds of times before.
Naruto reached out with shaky hands, grin already replacing a frown, excitement replacing heartache. In his excitement he fumbled for a bit with the scroll and Gramps hummed louder. Inside the scroll the instructions were succinct, written in a style that had him envious. All neat lines and smooth curves of a slightly dated kanji.
He memorised the instructions and rehearsed the handsign- there was only one required, thankfully- before rolling it back up to be stashed away, for purposes unknown.
Shikimaru Nara was rather close friends with Naruto Uzumaki. Ever since the troublesome blond had decided to grow a brain after their first academy tournament he had felt a strong kinship with Naruto. They had something in common, then. Something not even his best friend Choji did. Both he and Naruto saw things differently than the others.
So it had sucked when Naruto was made to fail the final exam.
He had wanted to comfort his friend, but despite coming off as an end-level extrovert there were moments when even Naruto needed time alone. Naruto needed space, and until he thought the guy was over it Shikimaru would let him be.
Then why was it that Naruto had, just moments before, sauntered into the room with a spring in his step and foxy grin on his face?
And why did he have a forehead-protector?
"Idiot, what do you think you're doing here? This room is for graduates, not useless dropouts like you!"
Sakura Haruno, a female howler monkey with pink hair and near-perfect test scores, was not on the friendliest of terms with Naruto. Naruto had once, for a very short time nursed a mean crush on the girl. That crush was swiftly crushed when the girl, mimicking the behaviour of her class idol-slash-love interest had proceeded to spout taunts and belittlement. That Naruto seemed to have a closer relationship with the Last Uchiha then Sakura had didnt earn him any friendship points either.
Naruto, for his part, ignored her completely and walked to his usual spot. "Yo Shika. Whats up?" He said, beaming.
Shikikaru sighed. "Hey Naruto. I wont even ask how you got that head protector. Its legit, right?"
Naruto pretended to look affronted. He failed so miserably it came off as constipation. "Of course it is! Who do you think I am, that cheating Uchiha bitch or the mangy mutt?"
The 'cheating Uchiha Bitch', Shikimaru had noticed, had become very attentive as soon as Naruto walked through the door despite seeming vaguely miserable before. She was so obvious.
Ignoring Kiba's witty threats and comebacks, he fixed Naruto with a mischievous grin. "You know what this means, right?"
Already leaning over a fresh scroll and dipping his caligraphy brush in a point of ink, Naruto hummed in recognition. "That I am awesome."
"You arent, and that wasnt what I was referring to. Since you passed legally they would have had to adjust your end of year score. You must have learned the clone technique, right?"
He nodded slightly.
"That means you're the shinobi of the year."
That got his attention.
"Oh yeah, looks like Naruto Uzumaki is right where he belongs- first place."
Shikimaru grinned just a bit wider. "I never said you were in first place. I said you were the number one shinobi in the class. Sasuke is the number one kunoichi and rookie of the year."
Naruto swore. "Fuck. She's going to be unbearable. This is the worst day of my life."
Shikimaru laughed. "It gets even better."
"How, Shikimaru? Is my assigned sensei a retard? Am I going to be stabbed on the way home? Is Ichiraku's going to burn down? Because the only thing worse than a smug Sasuke is that last thing, trust me."
Naruto looked completely serious.
"Oh? How about this then: the top kunoichi and shinobi of the year have been placed on the same team every year since the Academy was founded."
Naruto's eyes widened in terror. Just for the sake of digging it in a bit deeper, Shikimaru continued slowly. "That means, of course, you and Sasuke will be placed on the same team. How great is that?"
Naruto slumped. "Not great, not great at all. This is bullshit, dattebayo..."
Choji would arrive fifteen minutes later, after finishing off his usual early bird special at Kikyou's (tx) to see a depressed Naruto drawing the same circle over and over with a dry brush and defeated look.
"Hey Shika, Naru. Looks like you passed after all."
"Choji. How was breakfast?"
"Great as always. Whats wrong with him?" He asked, gesturing to the muttering blonde.
"Just realized that he'll be on the same team as Sasuke, poor bastard."
"Oh, that sucks. Bet you fifty ryo she tries to kill him with a missed fireball technique their first time out the village."
"No way. Im not stupid enough to bet against something as sure as that."
