Chapter 18 – Torn

My dream continued. The thorns were getting closer to me and I had to decide. Suddenly, there was ringing. Alice and Emily turned around, looking for the source of the ringing, but I stood my ground. The ringing sound was too substantial. I opened my eyes and it was still there. A shrill ringing. I got out of bed and timidly opened my door. It was the phone in the kitchen. I sighed and went to answer it, trying not to stumble down the stairs. Charlie's snores were rhythmic, so the ringing was not disturbing him. I fumbled around in the dark, searching for the phone. "Hello?" There was sniffling over the phone, "Bella?" That made me alert, "Angela? What's wrong?" "It's my brothers. We can't find them." My eyes widened, "What?" My body tensed in fear that my hunter was behind this. "What? When was the last time you saw them?" "A few hours ago. They were playing in the backyard while my mom and I were making dinner. My dad's looking for them in the forest behind my house." My heart stuttered, "I'm going to get my dad. Hold on." I ran up the stairs and went into Charlie's room. I shook him violently, "Dad! Charlie! Dad, wake up. You have to get to the Weber's house."

I explained to Charlie what Angela told me as we went for the phone. He turned on the kitchen lights and that blinded me. "All right, Angela, call your dad back to the house. I'll be there in a few minutes." Charlie hung up the phone, "I'm going over there." "I'm going with you." Charlie skidded to a stop, "No, you're not." "Dad, you're not stopping me. I'm not staying here alone, while Angela is worried about her brothers. It's not like I could just go back to sleep." Charlie sighed, "Let's go." Charlie and I were out of the house in less than five minutes. Knowing Alice, she alerted her family of the situation. At Angela's house, I ran out of the car and into her house. She was sitting in the living room, with her mother. She jumped up and hugged me, "Thank you so much." Charlie became Chief Swan calling for volunteers to create a search party. Soon, Mike and Eric showed up with their fathers. Angela cried in Eric's arms. It wasn't surprising to see Carlisle, with Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Alice. Alice stayed with me and Angela to keep her calm. Soon, Mr. Stanley and Mr. Mallory arrived. They began the search party and I was scared for all of them. "Don't worry, Bella. They'll find the boys soon," Alice had to soothe me.

The doorbell rang and Mrs. Weber opened the door. Alice and I stood froze as Sam, Jacob, Embry, Paul and Jared came into the house. I went to speak to them. "The Cullens are here too." Sam looked at the others, then to me, "We're here to help find the children. We have no quarrel with the Cullens, not tonight, at least." They turned and went into the night to find Angela's brothers. Before leaving, Sam shared a loaded glance with Alice. Alice shook her head, "Well, now I can't see a thing." Angela paced the living room, mumbling to herself. "Ang, you cannot blame yourself. This isn't your fault," Alice held Angela's shoulders and made her sit with me. I held Angela's arm as she bounced in her seat. "Bella, I should have been watching them more closely." I sighed, "Ang, stop. They're going to find them." In that moment, I wished Jasper would have stayed in the house. He could have calmed Angela. The clock in the living room chimed; it was 4am. Angela groaned, "What if they're hurt?" Alice and I looked at each other. Alice hugged Angela and I went into the kitchen. I took out a washcloth out of the cabinet by the kitchen door and ran it under cold water.

"Bella?" I jumped, "Jasper!" I went out the back door, "What's going on?" "Carlisle wants something with the boys scent on it." I looked back into the house, "Give me a minute." I went inside and bumped into Alice. She handed me one of their jackets and I gave it to Jasper. He dashed off and I took the cold cloth for Angela. I made her lean back and keep the cold cloth on her head. Alice and I stayed on the couch with Angela, hoping to keep her calm. Her leg bounced anxiously as we waited. Alice looked out the front window, being very still. I stood and went to stand in the back door. I folded my arms and looked into the night. Some volunteers were in the yard and I watched them. Charlie was looking over some maps and giving instructions. Alice and Angela were behind me. The three of us sat on the steps, watching the trees. I saw something moving through the trees. I looked at Alice and she nodded. I looked again and Carlisle was walking out of the trees carrying one of Angela's brothers. Sam had the other one; both boys were sleeping. Angela jumped up, "Thank you!" Her parents were behind Carlisle and Sam, followed by Jasper, Embry, Jared, Edward and Emmett. I saw Jacob and Paul were further behind them, wrinkling their noses in disgust.

Alice and I stood, helping Angela bring the boys inside. Angela and her parents took care of them and Carlisle made sure they were all right. Alice and I went out to the front yard. We saw the wolves and the Cullens standing apart from each other. I didn't move from the front steps, "Where did you find them?" "They were playing and they went too far into the forest and it was getting dark. They got lost," Edward explained. Jacob glared at him. "Was he…..?" Sam shook his head, "None of us picked up his scent." I sighed, feeling the tension leaving my body. Carlisle was behind me, "Thank you for your help." He held my shoulder, "Have you picked up anything on your side?" "Not recently. But we're not letting our guard down." I heard the double meaning in Sam's voice. Sam looked behind himself, "We have to go." Jacob looked at Sam, but Sam ignored him, "We have to get back to La Push to alert the others." With that, the five large boys turned and ran off into the night. I sighed and blinked, only to realize how tired I was. Charlie was walking from the side of the house, "Bells, I have to get to the police station." "I'll take Bella home," Carlisle offered. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen." Carlisle looked at me, "Would you be upset if Bella didn't go to school?" I looked up at him; the fatigue must be clear on my face.

"No, she does need sleep. I don't think any of the other kids are going either." The sun was beginning to rise behind the clouds in the distance. Carlisle took my hand and walked me to his car. Before we could leave, Angela ran out of the house. "Thank you so much." Carlisle smiled, "I'll come and check the boys in a few hours." I smiled at Angela, "I'll call you later." I walked around the car and the door was open for me. Edward looked at me, "You do need your rest." I blinked, "Who found them?" "Emmett. He made it a competition and the wolves accepted." I rolled my eyes, "At least you found them." He chuckled and looked at Alice, "Great excuse, Alice." I looked back, "What?" Alice was at my side, "Slumber party." I closed my eyes, "You're lucky I'm too tired to argue." I got in the passenger's seat and Alice sat in the back seat. Carlisle drove us to my house. "Bella, don't worry about anything. Just get some sleep." I smiled, "You don't have to tell me twice."

Graduation was in three weeks. There was so much tension looming around me, that I felt I was going to break. My hunter, Jacob, Edward and what I was going to do with my life. When I was beginning to piece my life together, I applied to several colleges. I was accepted to Washington State, NYU, Norte Dame and Berkley. I never let Charlie see any of these packets and I didn't tell Jacob. I was offered scholarships to all these schools. I sat at my desk, weighing my options. At the time, they all offered me the same thing; a way out. A way out of Forks and a way out of my depression. Sighing, I looked out of the window as I sat in my rocking chair. This chair was my refuge during my depression. I would sit here for hours, just staring out this very window. Even then, in a small corner of my mind, I was waiting for Edward to come through my window.

I sat here now, just thinking. My mind was so far away, that it barely registered the knock on my door. I heard the door creaking open, "Bella?" I looked back, "Emily. What are you doing here?" She smiled, closing the door behind her, "How are you feeling? Sam told me about the late night you had looking for the Weber boys." I sighed, "I wish I could tell you. I'm so confused right now." She sat on my bed, "Besides the whole Edward-Jacob thing….." I bit my lip, "Besides that, high school is almost over and I have to choose my next course. Whichever one I choose, it will lead to Edward, Jacob or neither of them. I know I can't have both. That would be selfish of me." "Bella," Alice was in my window, making Emily jump, "as long as he's in your life, Edward will be happy." I shook my head, "I don't think so. He and I cannot go back to being friends, not that it lasted long." Emily and Alice sat on my bed, while I sat in my chair. They reminded me of my dreams; choosing one of them. "Well, Edward may be that noble, Alice, but I don't think Jacob is." "That's because he's still young. Whereas us, we've learned to gain a lot of patience." Emily looked at me, "Bella, we all know that you love Edward, so why not just choose him?"

Alice looked at me and I froze. Why didn't I? No one put it in front of me out like that. I covered my face, trying to hide my tears, "I don't know! I hate this. I'm dragging them through the mud. I shouldn't have either of them. I was never good enough for Edward and Jacob should give up on me. For all I know, he'll imprint the second I decide to choose him and Edward will be gone before I could apologize." Alice sighed, "Bella, in this regard, I cannot see your future. You have to decide what and who you want. I wish Emily and I could do more for you, but we can't." They looked at each other, then to me, "She's right. But I will say this." She sighed deeply, "Jacob could imprint and she will be his soul mate, but Edward will always love you." Alice stared at Emily, "You're absolutely right. The future isn't written in stone, but I know Edward will never stop loving you." I blinked, "So, you're saying I should choose Edward?" "No," both of them said. "So, pick Jake?" "No." I groaned, "Then what?" Emily shook her head and Alice sighed. "Fine, you're right. Think about it and follow my heart." "She's starting to get it, Em. Bella, you can't make everyone happy. The only happiness you need to focus on is your own." Alice's words resonated in my head. Focus on my own happiness.

Before Emily left, she and I made huge plans for the weekend after the wedding. We were going to Florida. "No, Bella, take Emily." Emily smiled, "Why don't you come with us?" "What about Sam?" Emily grimaced, "Good point." I smiled, "Tell him the truth. You and I are going to Florida and leave Alice out of it." Alice beamed, "You're learning." Emily smiled, "I've never been out East. And the boys can fend for themselves for one weekend." So, I was taking a weekend trip, with my best girlfriends.