Chapter 26
I don't own one piece
/
"I'm going to point out that Marty probably really doesn't care that her house doesn't have a sewer running next to it." Amber said, pinching her nose delicately. Cake bristled, then visibly forced herself to calm.
"It's a river. It's astounding you're unable to tell the difference." Cake said, turning her head away with a sniff. Amber raised a perfect eyebrow.
"The fact that I can't tell the difference makes it a shoddy excuse for a river. Bringing me to the point of why do I care that you have a river running next to your house." Amber smiled sweetly as Cake planted a hand on her hip.
"I really don't give a rats rear-end about you, you l-!" Cake broke off seemingly too furious to continue. Marco flicked his eyes from Cake's hand to Amber's unconcerned smirk, before leaning slightly towards Beth.
"… Amber doesn't know that Charlene has a knife hidden there, does she?" Marco asked quietly. Beth glanced at him sternly.
"Don't you dare tell her." Beth warned, as Ace snorted.
"Cake could have taken a sword to the cow if she hadn't made Polo carry it, so I'm making do with the knife." With the exception of Amber, the group was walking a fair way behind Cake as she led them around the side of her house.
"Ambers not all bad?" Polo pointed out timidly as Beth and Marco turned a disbelieving stare on him. "She sewed Marty up, right?"
"If she hadn't tackled Ace out of the shop, Marty wouldn't have gotten left behind in the first place." Beth argued, waving her hand dismissively. Marty paused in her mission to turn Jack's beard into a thousand tiny braids.
"Which would make it Ace's fault as well, and it wasn't. Since when do I need a keeper anyway?" Marty objected.
"Probably shouldn't answer that." Marco suggested idly, as Ace stared at her in disbelief.
"It's quaint how highly regarded this trickle of water is to you," Amber said in a bored voice. "We have plenty of water trickles back home if you would like to visit one day."
"We are not here for the water you godforsaken harlot!" Cake said, stamping her foot. Amber looked taken aback.
"What did you just call me?"
"While we are on the subject, what are we here for?" Marty asked tying off her latest braid, leaning back slightly to admire it.
"Marty! Did you hear what this dumb bottle blond bimbo just called me?" Amber demanded whirling around before Cake could answer. Marty shrugged.
"Nice alliteration, you brought the name calling on yourself though, and I don't really think people do dye here." Marty said calmly, "That aside you really should cool it before Cake decides to get physical and tear you a new one." Cake rolled her eyes as she shot a reluctant grin at Marty. Amber snorted.
"She couldn't beat a drum." Amber said flippantly, before blinking as the group stared at her. "What?"
"… To be fair we all thought the same thing right up until she handed Marco his ass." Marty said diplomatically, reaching for a yet upbraided patch of Jack's beard.
"That's ridiculous she-" Amber started as Marty let go of Jack's beard with a huff.
"Enough Amber, arguing is pointless and dangerous, and I don't want to get involved, so cut it out. Cake knows what she's doing." Marty said firmly.
"Aw come on Marty, let them go a little longer." Beth said with a grin. Ace raised an eyebrow,
"Does anyone see the irony of Purple stopping the drama for once?"
Marco gave him a look, before turning to Marty.
"Speaking of irony, did I tell you about the time Ace stole all of Izo's makeup and- "
"WHOA! Okay, I'm sorry!" Ace said throwing his hands up in defeat as Marco laughed.
"Do not stop there Marco," Marty protested as Jack chuckled.
"I'll tell you later," Jack said with a wink.
"Me too please." Beth and Cake said in unison.
"Traitor." Muttered Ace.
"We're here." Cake said, striding up to what looked like a large moss covered boulder set into the side of the hill. Pretty much the same as the hundreds of other moss covered boulders set into the bank. Except, Marty supposed, it was slightly bigger.
"Seriously?"
"Amber, why do you insist on the snide comments to see who is higher up in snobbery?" Marty said with a sigh as the girl snorted.
"What are you going to do?" Amber challenged as Cake's hand returned to hovering over her hip.
Marty thought for a second.
"Cake, Amber's house is smaller than your house by about a third." Marty said finally.
"Marty!" Amber said, aghast as Cake burst out laughing.
"So what's with the boulder? I mean, it's a nice boulder but…" Marty asked glancing at the rock as Cake finished her mirth.
"It's not a boulder," Cake said cheerfully. "It's a door."
"Marty's house has doors..." Amber said sulkily, but Cake just grinned at her, which actually seemed to annoy Amber more.
"It's not any old door." Cake said, stepping forward to press a random pebble in the wall. It must have been a button because the boulder (which was actually only half a boulder) swung forward.
"...What the hell is that?" Polo demanded after about a minute.
"It's a portal that leads directly into the anti-chamber between my room, and my parents'. It's so we have an escape route for emergencies." Cake said, crossing her arms smugly.
"How did you install a portal?" Marty asked, eyeing the portal thoughtfully. Marco glanced from Marty to the portal.
"Or more to the point, who installed the portal?" Marco asked with a raised brow. Cake grinned proudly.
"My father's advisor. Remember how I told you he was a fruit user? Well, he is a portal-man." Cake finished dramatically as the group stared.
"...You knew someone who could create portals and you didn't think to mention it?" Beth asked after a moment. Cake tilted her head, confused.
"What?"
"You know portals," Marty said dryly. "Doorways to another world?"
"Oh!" Cake said, expression clearing. "No no, Edgar can only create short range portals, no more than fifty metres. I doubt he had the juice to jump between worlds." Marty eyed the swirling mass of blue and black.
"You sure?"
"Yes I'm sure," Cake snapped, annoyed. "Now are we going through or not?"
"Not." Amber said, raising her eyebrow.
"Why not? It looks fun." Ace said cheerfully, heading towards the doorway.
"As I was saying, the portal sounds like a marvellous idea." Amber said cheerfully, as Ace jumped into the darkness. Amber looked at the portal quizzically before turning to see Cake watching. She had an amused expression on her face and her arms were crossed.
"Well go on then." Cake said gesturing towards the door. Amber snorted,
"Age before beauty." Amber said disdainfully. Marty laughed as she jumped down from Jack's shoulder, staggering slightly upon landing. She limped determinedly up to the girls.
"Good thing she's younger than you then." Marty said, shoving Amber through the portal and following close behind her.
Marty gasped as she staggered out of the portal into a room straight out of a Victorian novel. Posh furniture, bright colours, MASSIVE WINDOWS. Marty shook her head, she imagined this was what skydivers stomach's felt like when they first jumped out of the plane. Also she felt hungry, like the portal had stolen her lunch. Wait, she hadn't had lunch...When was the last time she ate?!
"Nice view of the burning hedge from here." Beth commented calmly as she staggered out of the portal. She shook her head dazedly.
"Well this ain't half posh." Marco commented, eyeing the ceiling decorations. Marty blinked as Amber grabbed her arm wrenching her backwards. Marty laughed.
"Okay sorry, I'll go through the portal first next time-."
"It's the same," Amber hissed. Marty frowned, glancing at the others, none of whom had noticed the girls conversing.
"What is?"
"The portal! Coming out of it felt the same as when I fell through into this nuthouse of a world!" Amber snapped, scowling when Marty shushed her. Marty was quiet for a moment, eyeing the group as they wandered around the room. Marco had dragged Cake over to the window to ask about the garden. Marty would have been shocked if she couldn't see Ace going through the cupboards. Beth had dragged Jack along with her as she attempted to rip down the weapons adorning the walls in order to study them.
"Don't tell them." Marty said quietly.
"Why not?" Amber growled, "Pudding Pop over there lied-"
"No she didn't." Marty said firmly, causing Amber to raise her eyebrows. "Cake didn't lie, she must be unaware of the extent of this Advisor's powers."
"So why aren't we telling them? I thought you trusted these idiots and Ace." Amber said, watching as Ace began passing silver cutlery to Polo who was, unwillingly, stashing them in a pack that looked rather dandy for a pirate.
"Best not to make accusations we aren't able to back up just yet." Marty glanced from Ace to the ceiling. "He'd be better off prying the gold leaf out of the ceiling."
"Marty," Amber sighed. "Secrets create nothing but resentment and unhappiness." Marty rolled her eyes.
"And your blatant honesty never gets anyone's hackles up..." Marty muttered darkly.
Polo stuffed a candlestick into the bag he was holding, glancing around miserably. He blinked before frowning at the sight of Marty and Amber tucked away into a corner, muttering quietly. Amber was flicking her hands agitatedly.
"Um, Marty? What are you doing?" Polo asked curiously. Now you wouldn't think a harmless sentence like that would cause such drama.
"Marty put it down!"
"Whatever it is, don't do it!"
"Are you plotting? In my house?! You'd better not be plotting!"
"Why didn't I get an invite?" Beth protested, peeking around Jack. Cake glanced at her irritably before freezing.
"What- GET AWAY FROM THAT CLOSET!" Cake shrieked, causing Marco to wince and clap his hands over his ears.
"Jeez, you have a set of pipes." Ace grumbled, attempting to hide a rather large fruit platter behind him as he edged away from the cabinet.
"Does anyone have any food?" Marty piped up, drawing stares. "What? I can't remember the last time I ate…"
"She's right. Have you got any food stashed around here?" Beth asked, studying the gun in her hands.
"I hardly… Did you steal that gun from over the fireplace?"
Kids, whatever people tell you, sticking something behind your back does not make it invisible.
"No, of course not." Beth said, sounding indignant.
"I let you lot into my house and suddenly you become a gang of kleptomaniacs!" Cake stamped her foot. "You are insane, the lot of you."
"You say that like you aren't one of us." Marty said cheerfully. " 'Bout that food Cake…" Marty frowned, tilting her head towards the door directly behind her. "Do you hear…?" Marty turned towards the door. Marco's eyes widened.
"Footsteps," he hissed. "They must have heard us."
"You mean Cake," Amber muttered. Beth glanced around.
"Are we hiding or should we just knock them out?" Beth asked.
"Hide." Marty said, nodding. Catching sight of Beth's face she grinned. "What? We can knock them out later. If we follow them now they can take us to their leader."
Pacified, Beth grabbed Jack and dragged him into the closest bedroom. Cake followed, closing the door behind them. Marty turned to Amber, only to find she had disappeared into-… No wait, she had flung herself onto Ace, declaring her need for protection. Ace gazed pleadingly at Marco who smirked, before climbing onto the windowsill to hide very effectively behind the immense curtains. Grumbling Ace was dragged backwards towards the closet. Marty snorted, hobbling towards what had to be Cake's bedroom. Ace caught sight of her and stuck a hand out to stop the closet closing.
"Polo!" Ace hissed, glancing back in confusion as Amber tried to yank him back into the closet. "Help that incapacitated idiot into a hiding place."
Polo nodded, and sprinted over to Marty. He swept her up, diving into Cake's bedroom as Ace jerked backwards and the closet door closed.
"I'm getting right sick of this." Marty sighed as she was lowered to her feet.
Polo ducked his head, embarrassed as he moved to shut the door.
"My apologies."
"Leave it open a crack." Marty said, moving forward to peer through the gap. Polo considered arguing the point, before joining her.
"Are they checking every room on their way here?" Marty asked softly, as the slamming of doors marched ever closer. Polo shrugged, frowning as his eyes caught movement. "It's a lot of rooms to check."
…
"Is it just me or is that cupboard shaking?!" Polo asked in an astonished voice. Marty rolled her eyes.
"They had better not be doing what it looks like they are doing in there."
"That would be an interesting position to be caught in." Polo murmured, glancing sideways at Marty as a muffled thump and a 'Cut it out woman!' drifted from the closet. Marty had to stuff her fist into her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Glancing away, Marty caught sight of the still visible portal and paused.
"W-Marty!" Polo gasped as she wrenched open the door, flinging herself towards the portal.
"I just have to close this!" Marty hissed, struggling to close the door with her sore foot.
Glancing toward the sound of the ever-closer footsteps, Polo ran out after her with a groan. He pulled her out of the way, wrenching the panelling across so the door now appeared to be an overly innocent patch of wall.
"Jesus, Ace will go grey." Polo muttered, scooping Marty up. He turned to sprint back to the room. He made it halfway before the fancy furniture got the better of them. Polo's foot got caught sending him into a spectacular face-plant. Marty was thrown into a roll, coming to rest against the wall with a muffled thump. Wincing, Marty snapped her head up towards the door, leaping unsteadily to her feet.
"Oww-..Marty!" Polo grunted, pushing himself onto his knees as footsteps thudded up to the door.
"Get under the sofa!" Marty all but growled, taking a step forward as Polo's eye's widened in shock. Marty sent one more glare his way, before turning to the door as it slammed open.
Marty crossed her arms, the very picture of a composed lady.
"Hello boys!~" Marty said, smiling slightly. The two men in the doorway looked from the girl standing in front of them, to each other and back.
"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" Growled Beef-Cake number one. Marty tossed her hair, planting one hand on her hip, dropping the other by her side out of sight of the men.
"How did I get in here? How did you get in here?" Marty asked haughtily, tipping her chin up as she gestured at Polo with the hand not visible to the men. She was hoping he would get the message and get under the god damn couch.
"W-We asked first! Who do you think you are?!" Spluttered BC number one. BC number two grunted in agreement. Polo sent Marty an anguished look before he rolled under the sofa.
"I would be the Daughter of the Mayor," Marty replied coolly. "Cak- er – Charlene…Apple …Katheryn Edborough. What are you doing in my house?" The men stared at Marty, taking in the scruffy, badly singed, straw hat on her head, to the overly large boots on her feet.
"Really?" asked BC number one in a disbelieving tone. Marty bristled in her best imitation of Cake.
"HOW DARE YOU!?" Marty declared loudly, eyes flicking to the cupboard door as it twitched slightly.
"If you really are the Mayor's Daughter, where've you been for the past what? Four hours?" BC1 turned to BC2 who grunted in acknowledgement. "Four hours." BC1 confirmed, turning back to Marty.
"I was taking a bath."
"…. A bath." BC1 said bluntly, eyes roaming over the layer of filth that coated her skin.
"Yes, and then I was gardening." Marty shrugged, gesturing towards Cake's room. "I had flower boxes in extreme need of care."
"How did you get up here?" BC1 asked in a resigned voice.
"Same way you did." Marty said crossing her arms. BC1 sighed in annoyance.
"We don't have time for this." BC1 glanced at BC2 as he used what he obviously considered language by grunting. "You're right, she's probably an idiot stable girl acting like a noble to get special treatment-"
"How did you derive language out of that?"
"-But the boss will want her brought down regardless." BC1 finished, taking a step forward.
Marty shrugged again, then froze as the cupboard doors jerked open.
"Stop, Don't!" Marty snapped, flinging her hands out. The windows behind her slammed open as an errant breeze rushed into the room, slamming doors to cupboards and bedrooms alike. The men looked around in shock.
"… WOW that was WEIRD huh?~" Marty said sunnily.
"Yeah, are winds like that common around here?" BC1 asked, looking around wide-eyed.
"Sometimes, now and again. It's the sea, Grand line and all." Marty said innocently, smiling as she shrugged. "Uh, as I was saying, I'm going to go down to where ever you're taking me alone, right?" Marty said raising her voice slightly as the cupboard door opened crack. BC1 looked confused.
"Absolutely not, we'll be taking you down. That's what 'taking you down' means."
"If you insist, but it'll be slow going. I have a bung foot at the moment," Marty said cheerfully. BC1 snorted, shoving her towards the door. Marty staggered, before jerking herself upright.
"I'm fine." Marty said loudly, flicking her eyes to the cupboard which had been shaking slightly.
"Like we care,." BC1 said, annoyed, shoving Marty bodily from the room as she fought to stay upright. The room was silent as the door closed behind them. No one moved until the sounds of footsteps had faded. It was at that moment Ace booted the cupboard door so that it flew off its hinges and out the still-open window.
Ace emerged swearing violently and looking slightly dishevelled. Though not, Marco thought, as he jumped down from the windowsill. from his fight with the cupboard door. The door to the bedroom opened to reveal a very unimpressed looking Beth.
"If they hurt her, I will kill them." Beth warned quietly. Marco sighed, running a hand over his face.
"I suspect there's a line." Jack said darkly, as Ace proceeded to hurl a chair out after the cupboard door. Cake slipped around Jake and marched over to Ace.
"Cut it out." Cake snapped, grabbing Ace's arm. Ace swung with a glare that could have melted steel. Cake didn't even flinch. "Marty went with them so they didn't know how many of us there were. Throwing furniture out a window tends to attract attention, correct?"
"Alright the whole point to this was to follow them - er 'to their leader?'" Jack said gruffly, walking towards the door.
"Pulling her out of that cage has used up my life's quota of stress." Ace muttered under his breath so quietly, that if Cake hadn't still been holding onto his arm she would have missed it.
"I somehow suspect you don't regret it, hm?" Cake said, dropping his arm. She spun on her heel to follow the others who were trickling out of the door. Ace glared after her, shaking his head before following. As he passed Polo on his way to the door, the younger man stopped him.
"I'm sorry commander..." Polo said, miserably. Ace sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.
"She jumped out of the room, not you." Ace clapped a hand on his shoulder, following Cake, who had pulled a sword down from the wall and was threatening to stick it in a very unladylike place if Amber didn't move faster.
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Assignments? What uni assignments?
