BroCon HIT Others (How It Traumatizes Others) pretty clever huh

Or alternatively, Chapter about how Sabo got his punishment for being absent about ten years and how he helps Ace in spreading the beliefs about Luffy's adorablity


Sabo's Woes

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" A shriek of their guest resounded on the deck of Moby Dick coming from a grown blonde man in his twenty.

Ace snorted, "Serves you right. Who told you to be dead for ten years?" The fire user suspiciously looks so smug when saying this and the Whitebeards decided it's bot worth to sacrifice their sanity for... Whatever Ace's being smug at. They still hadn't been freed from their mandatory psychology session after the war. Surprisingly the session is not for possible trauma about the War... But possible snapped string of sanity because of the resident's acute brocon's 'Boasting Session' in the middle of the said war.

"No way! No way! Please! I have to see Luffy!" Sabo argued.

"It's fine. We could always meet him again." Ace assured and Sabo's hope shooted up.

Ace smirked, "Two Years later,"

"You're not being fair! You... You wanted to hog Luffy all to yourself no!?" Sabo immadiately accussed.

"Who the fuck care?! Take that as your punishment, you little shit!"

"I was suffering Amnesia, DAMMIT! I lost my memories!" Sabo shrieked.

"Anemia or Insomnia, I don't care! You're late and that's the final!" Ace crosses his arms guardingly as he mocked his long lost (less cute) brother.

"Amnesia! Goddammit! LUUUFFFFYYYYYY! WHERE ARE YOU, BABY BROTHER?! YOUR SABO-NIICHAN IS STILL ALIVE, LUUU!" Having no hope in Ace, Sabo turned and yelled to the sea whilst Ace is cackling cynically behind him.

"Luffy wouldn't hear you. Years ago, we always done that and it's not like you heard it right?" Ace struck where it hurts again. Sabo glared at his raven (less cute) brother.

"Oh, shut up! Stop guilt-tripping me!" Sabo protested.

"It's an elder brother's duty to beat their little brothers back," Ace grinned.

"You're not older than I am! We never decide who's the oldest!" Sabo growled.

"I'm the ELDEST!"

"Fuck no,"

"Then when did you born? What date? I was at the very beginning of the year. The possiblity of you older than I am is lower than one percent,"

"I don't remember," Sabo sucked his lips and puts on his most innocent face.

Ace sneered mockingly at him and shrugged,"Beside, Luffy would agree with me. I'm his favourite brother after all," Ace grinned maniacally. That triggered Sabo's sore (and very doting) spot.

"Take that back, I'm his favourite!"

"Hate to break it to you princess, I am," Ace grinned as Sabo fumed.

"I was the nicer brother, obviously Luffy would like me more," Sabo hissed and Ace's eyes darkened. The Whitebeards had all emptied the deck, moving to the co-ships with practiced ease, calmly inviting the Revolutionaries for a cup of tea or two.

"Oh you're on." Ace growled.

In the end to avoid more damages (And it's getting late anyway, everyone want to go back to their room), Marco had to scooped them both and threw them aboard. Sabo was too busy saving Ace's drowned ass and both are not in the mood to fight again afterward.

Floating in the blue sea, two brothers are holding each other for (the other's) dear life, with the orange of the setting sun as their lovely background. The true brotherly love is shown.

"You useless! Why do I have to do this for you!? It's usually Luffy who drown and now you too!" Sabo dissed the fire user furiously.

"F*ck you too!" Ace spat out a handful of water.


"You seriously won't give anything useful for me right?" Sabo asked bluntly with a hint of annoyance.

Ace rolled his eyes sassily, "Nope," for better measure of sass, Ace even sassily checked his fingernails like a preteen girls would.

"So much for all of those time I saved your ass," Sabo shooted Ace a death glare as the older man gasped.

"My ass? Oh? We're counting off debt now? The first time we met you literally hang in the jaw of death in form of a a big bad wolf. You too have your fair share of ass-saved, little red riding hood," Ace retorted with a flick of finger whilst jabbing an accussing dainty finger toward his blue-clad brother.

"Stop calling me that! You know I dislike red!"

"Too bad, you know I like red,"

Marco sighed as he poured himself more sake, at this kind of moment that he hoped he doesn't have a regenerating ability. He just want to stay wasted so that he could survive the day without hearing the constant bickering of those two acute brocons.

Seriously, one is already enough.

"So, are you going to prolong your visit or going off now, yoi?" Please go away. If Whitebeard's gaze is any indicating it would be disaster... Why? Their Pops had recently used 'that' gaze when seeing the blonde revolutionary. 'That' gaze is usually used by Whitebeard whenever he wanted to adopt a stray into their crew, basically: "I want to keep that," in the most literal sense.

And God help them, please no more.

Sabo and Ace broke away from their bickering to look at Marco. The Blonde smiled politely, going back to his perfect facade that fools no one in the vicinity as it used to days back... That seemingly perfect man, had willingly sit back and listen to Ace's tale about Luffy. WILLINGLY! No matter how much time Ace repeated them, he still WILLINGLY listened! THERE'S NO SANE PERSON DO THAT!

And yes, Whitebeard pirates just use 'willing to listen to Ace's tale' as their perimeter of sanity.

So there's no way the blonde revolutionary is perfect, nope. Perfect means sane, and he's anything but sane (according Whitebeards' perimeter of sanity, anyways).

"Regretfully, no. I have so many things to be done and three days alone, although not enough, is already my limit," Sabo said dazzlingly.

Sadly, three days alone are enough for some crew members to jump overboard and swim to the nearest island, trying hard to preserve their last bit of sanity.

Their fishman brothers and sisters even decided to go and say hello to the fishes... They hadn't been back since then by the way. Marco himself is tempted to fly far away with "Saying hello to every news birds," as an excuse. But if he's not here, there's no guarantee that Whitebeard wouldn't go and adopt another son... An acute brocon son, again.

"I see, that's too bad," What a great news, "Have a nice sail, yoi" And please don't come back again before Marco is finished with his damage control which would take... Oh, years.

"Yes, thank you. It had been a pleasant experience with you all, thank you so much for your generous hospitality," Sabo bowed at the politely and the Whitebeards smiled at him.

"It's our pleasure, yoi" Well that's a half-lie.

Ace pulled Sabo into a bro-hug with a grin, "See ya' around brother. Call me if you need a help to destroy something," Ace laughed.

"You too, don't get caught and putted into a public execution again," Sabo patted his back. They pulled away and Sabo can't resist a long suffering sigh.

Ace noticed Sabo's discomfort and tilts his head, "Something's wrong?"

"No, it's just... I will miss you Ace..." Sabo admitted sincerely. D'aww, everyone watched them with lukewarm gaze. Now, this is a warming brotherly love.

Just as everyone is approving the show of brotherly love, Sabo continues, "I will miss how we could talk about Luffy all day, without you it will truly be a torture that I can't share my joy with no one," Sabo sighed regretfully. Never mind that. They regretted for falling into the blonde's deceit.

"Ridiculous, Sabo! Nothing should stop a brother to share his joy for having an adorable baby brother! You can always talk to your friends in the Revolutionary Army. They hadn't known yet how adorable Luffy is right?!" Ace retorted passionately as he shakes his brother by shoulder. Whitebeard pirates gasped loudly, No Way!

As if he's just obtaining an enlightment, Sabo's eyes lighten up in glee, "You're right, Ace! You're a genius! I'll just do as that!" Sabo declared and the Whitebeards knew the Revolutionary Army's fate is sealed.

"Of course I am!" Ace nodded sagely as he patted his brother's shoulder. At this moment, the Whitebeard pirates couldn't help but believe Ace is an incarnation of devil which sole mission is to snap off everyone's sanity... No one excluded, not even the Revolutionary Army.

The entire Whitebeard pirate turn a unified pity gazes toward the Revolutionary Army's ship. Pitying those fools who don't know what will hit them. The Revolutionaries gulped as they complexion paled a bit. Three days had been enough for them to know how horrifying "Bro-con" is. The question is... Can they stay firm?

"Alright! I'm going, see you around Ace!" Sabo waved and jumped toward his ship.

"Bye Sabo! Remember my words!" Ace yelled as he waves back. Yup, they're screwed.

The Whitebeards sent those fools away with pitying gazes. Izou had ceremoniously threw one of his most prized white silk hankerchief to express his grief, as the more religious ones had long prayed for them.

Goodbye. Hopefully your mind is still intact when we meet again.


Sabo scowled as he saw yet another empty office. Field mission their ass, there's no way a field mission took an entire base worth of people except him as if he'll believe it.

Where's their sense of camaraderie? He just wanted to talk about his baby brother Luffy, goddammit! It's not like he asked them to be a volunteer for Ivankov's next experiment with hormone that could possibly turn them into a wrong gender! It's not like he asked them to crash over some Yonko's party, he was only asking for a pair of ears to listen to him!

In his gloom, Sabo suddenly see a sign of life at the end of corridor in a form of a cute woman with bob hair, Sabo brightened, "KOA-"

"Sorry Sabo-kun, I have field mission! Goodbye!" Koala hastily run past the blonde without as much as a glance.

That's it. Sabo slumped and threw himself onto the bench nearby, he fished out a baby den-den mushi and dialed someone who would understand him wholly. Namely, Portgas D. Ace.

Sabo solemnly tapped his foot as he waits for the other side to answer

*Kacha* Sabo perked up.

"Hello, Fire-fist Ace here, Whitebeard's second commander; hottest man alive; the proudest Big Brother ever. Who are you?" The other side spoke.

"Ace it's me," Sabo replied.

"Sabo! Never thought I'd hear for you this fast man,"

"How long did you expect me to call?" Sabo asked curiously.

"I don't know -ugh, motherfucker whoops!- maybe ten years?"

"Harhar, you won't let it died down don't you?"

"You bet. So what's up? Found something that need my help to destroy?"

"Ugh no-"

"-Wooo show them Izou!- Oh what? Sorry, didn't hear ya'. Can we postpone the 'destroying' thing? I'm a bit busy here,"

"I don't need any help. Were you fighting? With whom?" Sabo dubiously looked at the expression of the baby den-den mushi.

"Big Mom pirates. Jerks thought that it would be easy to snatch fishman island, dream on! I'm currently defending my tittle as the hottest man alive -Ha! You call that 'hot' pansy!? Go back home crying to your mommy! Your Oven ain't got nothing with my fire!-" Ace's voice come out maniacally.

"Ace, I need your opinion about something," Sabo said straightforwardly.

"-Who the fuck care if Oven is actually your name.- Huh? What is it you need?" Ace asked distractedly.

"It's my colleagues... They don't want to hear me talking about Luffy, why should I do?" Sabo asked depressedly.

"-We don't need an agreement!- Huh? What do you mean they 'dont' want to hear? Do they even have a choice? You ask me what should you do? And I thought you were the smarter one? That's just an easy issue Sabo! You go back to your friends, beat them a bit if it's necessary and tie them up. With that, you could talk to them." Ace explained. Sabo thought seriously and it actually made sense.. Do they have a choice? The answer is no.

"You're right," Sabo thought solemnly.

"Well, there's that or you could hunt for some marines and force them to listen." That made Ace remember he hadn't hunt for marines or other pirates for a long time to boast about his baby brother, maybe he'll do that later.

"Um, I understand. Thanks Ace," Sabo said.

"Anytime," and the den-den mushi went asleep.

With a grin, Sabo stood up and his Kenbushoku Haki went on full-force. Te originally void-of-life base gradually have signs of lives under Sabo's Kenbushoku radar. Sabo's grin twisted into something more diabolical.

"Found you,"

Later on, shrieks filled with dread and misery resounded within the base that made Dragon himself stopped reminiscing about how cute his son was when just a newborn, before deciding he might not want to know.


"So, what's your reason for requesting a field mission fighting and taking over a Marine Battleship?" Monkey D. Dragon levelled an emotionless stare at the blonde ex-Noble before him.

"I want to search for an experience, sir," Sabo replied solemnly.

"That's the written official reason," Dragon looked down at the piece of paper that had been printed gorgeously only to have 'For better experience' written in it in the most careless handwriting possible. "I'm asking about the unofficial one. The real one," Dragon stated.

"I decided I need a new environment to talk about Luffy. And I want to test if Marines are good listeners," Sabo replied smoothly. In other words, because colleagues are essentially friends, he couldn't beat them too hard. Marines are on the other case.

"Alright, just one more question... Was it you who stole my newspaper's copies about Luffy?" Dragon gathered them painstakingly, just so you know.

"Sir, yes sir. I'm planning to return it after I copied them,"

"How many to be exact?"

"Two for flaunted around the base, one for flaunting outside, another one for the back-up, One for me, then there's a back up for that, and the back-up for the back-up, then there's still several other back-ups for that back-up of back-up." Sabo reported professionally, "For each," he added as an afterthought.

"Alright then, don't make too much fuss," Dragon agreed and stamped the paper under everyone's tearful gratitudes.


*puru puru puru* *puru puru puru* *kacha*

Sengoku set aside his crackers, careful to not let it fell when he answer the call, "Yeah? Sengoku here. If it's about my goat's salon appointment, I'm on my way right now," Sengoku said carelessly

"Sir! Vice Admiral Doberman is here-"

"Oh, Doberman, are you having an appointment too?"

"N-no sir! But I'd like to report an emergency red code report, sir!"

Sengoku frowned in silent as he's wondering just whatever heck happened again, "What is it? What's your coordinate? I'll sent" help there,"

"I've sent you the coordinate, sir. A-and it's- It's horrible, sir!" The den-den mushi is crying pitifully, making Sengoku concerned.

"Tell me," Sengoku said solemnly.

"I-it's... THERE ARE TWO OF THEM, SIR! TWO!"

"What?"

"Mugiwara has TWO BROTHERS, Sir! THE OTHER ONE IS FROM THE REVOLUTIONARY AND HE'S THE SAME IF NOT AS WORSE AS FIRE-FIST!" Vice Admiral Doberman is holding on desperately on his last strand of sanity when reporting this.

Sengoku froze mid giving orders for a rescue mission "Momonga pull back the reinforcement. And for God's sake, don't let anyone sails close to that coordination within at least dozens kilometers perimetal." Sengoku barked a new order to the other den-den mushi who gaped at him.

"S-sir?" Doberman is waiting in suspense. Sadly, Sengoku could only disappoint him. If he were to sent reinforcement then the victims might increase and it will do more damage.

"I'm sorry Doberman, you see I'm already retired and all. Call Sakazuki if you will," Sengoku hastily slammed the receiver down and threw the poor den-den mushi overboard. Aah... This is how retirement should be. Peace at least.


I didn't know you guys would like it so much. So I wrote Sabo's part. Actually this hadn't exactly finish in my mind (I wrote this story in one fell swoop, without a draft- that's why I'm surprise you guys actually like it. But my thumb is hurt so let's just keep this short.