The mall isn't so crowded today for a Tuesday. It's mainly your middle-aged men with strollers and your "edgy" teens hanging around Hot Topic. Seeing the teens with their crazy-colored hair and too many wristbands crawling up their arms that shouldn't be legal brings me back to my lengthy scene phase. It lasted four years, and Kjelle was with me for the worst of it. She helped me dye my red hair to a desired platinum. It ended up being the color of rust, though. I kept bleaching my hair until the platinum was able to shine through. Kjelle warned me not to do that, 'cause it damages your hair or whatever. She also said that my hair was already too pretty to warrant dyeing. I didn't care, but I regret it now.
I tug on a twintail at the thought of Kjelle's three-year-old compliment, moving my eyes away from the teens. I want her to compliment me more, and she generally gives it freely, but lately she hasn't. "Kjelle?" I ask suddenly, turning my gaze towards her. Kjelle glances over, sipping frozen strawberry lemonade from Auntie Anne's. This is as sweet as she goes, partially because of her diet to go along with her training, partially because she never developed a sweet tooth like I did.
"Yes?" she murmurs in between sips. I like how she sips, long and slow. Like she's trying to savor it, even though her eyes don't give much away. But me? I gulp things down.
"Tell me something." I don't know why really, but my heart's pounding hard as I say that. Harder than it should. As if I went through Kjelle's daily workout routine. Am I okay? Am I dying? I usually don't feel this way…
"Ummm…" The nineteen-year-old girl hands me her drink. "Want a sip?"
It's a simple question, but I start freaking out as my mind goes into hyperdrive. Okay, if I take a sip of her drink, that'll be an indirect kiss, is she cool with that? Wait, we do this all the time. Why is it so different now? Then I start thinking about feeling the cherry chapstick residue on the straw, warm from her touch, and I swear I feel like an old man with an ensuing heart attack. "What if I just kiss you?" I blurt, my skin burning everywhere.
Kjelle's taken aback. Her dark brown eyes are looking at me in concern, her lightly tanned face flushed. "I-I'm sorry, excuse me?"
My mind's screaming. What the fuck was that for?! What are you saying Severa, are you trying to freak her out?! This is the first time you've seen her all year, and you're coming out with that?! Fucking hell! I try to backpedal. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sorry, autocorrect." I regret it immediately. Autocorrect?! What are you, a walking drunk Tweet?!
Kjelle's tense shoulders relax a bit as she answers, "Severa...this is a verbal conversation."
"...Right," I say, wanting to cover my face with my hair. Thankfully, Kjelle lets this drop, leaving us walking in silence as she continues slowly sipping her lemonade.
"Who knew there were hot springs here?" I ask. Sumia and I are soaking in the pristine water in the spa's courtyard. It doesn't feel like we're in a public place; we're the only ones in the hot spring.
Sumia has her head thrown back, a wet towel on her forehead, clearly relaxed and enjoying this. I'm a few feet away from her, enjoying watching her be so carefree. But then I think about Chrom, and I suddenly detest her. Stop it, I chastise myself, you love her. You love him with her. You're stronger than this.
But I can't stop. Now I just think about all the times I've watched the two of them grow together in high school, leaving me out. It wasn't intentional, I know, but I felt like a kicked puppy. I loved and hated how Chrom horned in between me and Sumia. Loved, because I got to be wrapped up in his cinnamon cologne. But hated, because he was only there for Sumia, not me. Then, they spent more time together without me, so I had to watch from afar the way he shyly intertwined their hands together for the first time, the increased amount of times Sumia tripped over herself, the way their eyes glittered…
I splash my face with the warm water to pull me out of my misery. You just want Sumia all to yourself. You're so selfish.
Wait, I meant Chrom.
Wait...what?
