A/N :
Sheitan Otori : I chose „Bob" and not „Blue" because it's funnier. ;)
Q-A- the Authoress : Wouldn't suprise me if he did! I imagine Jamie to show Jack all kinds of movies, hehe.
Shamangirl1 : Same here, I'd LOVE a well-made raptor plush!
Guest : Wow, you read fast! And now, I never wondered about that.
Ravenna Frost : I wasn't scared either, more like mentally screaming „Hell YES!" throughout the movie. Mwhahahaha!
Also thanks to Infinityworlds, AyameKitsune, Night-Fury1, crazylilgrace, MarburyBlur, Aphrodite433, Not-on-my-books, LobbyLane, Victoria Snow, dizappearingirl, and everyone who favourited and followed this story!
Alright, I gotta say I wasn't feeling that well when I started writing this and decided to use my bad mood to create some angst again. Ye be warned. It will be 3 chapters.
A blur of gold and dark purple zoomed past him, so close that he could smell a sweet flowery scent. He gazed after the little blonde girl in her colourful coat as she was dashing down the snowy hill on her brandnew sleigh. The gift she had been most excited about, she kept telling the her friends who were joining the fun, had been the perfume she got. Most likely it was one of those presents the parents bought for their kids additionally, because the yetis at the North Pole were more into the production of toys. For years had she had envied her mother for using it and loved the fragrance. That she had finally gotten one for herself made her the luckiest girl ever.
Jack sighed, if only his own wishes could be fulfilled that easily. Tired eyes glanced at the gathering of children, the many new toys and the happy and satisfied faces. Laughter and joyful squeals filled the air as they told each other what Santa had brought them. Now and then he spied something he had helped to create, either by sculpting the ice prototype or actually designing it himself. The blue sleigh with silver ornaments of the perfume girl had been one of those own creations.
Yet all he heard were praises directed at Santa Clause and his elves. The winter spirit had to shake his head. If only they knew how clumsy the so-called helpers were and that it were yetis who did most of the work. If only they knew that Jack Frost existed and regularly contributed to the success of this one special day.
Two days had passed since Christmas Eve. Four years had passed since the battle against Pitch. And he was still not believed in by more than a handful of children, was still afraid of not being a worthy guardian. So he helped wherever he could, painted eggs with Bunny, sculpted toy prototypes, offered his ideas when it came to designs and sometimes helped the tooth fairies collecting teeth.
He wasn't sure if it was his own perception or the truth, but he for quite a while now he had the impression that they took him for granted. 'They' meant everyone. Humans, sure, as usual. Jamie
had grown accustomed to him in a way that made his visits seem common and he wasn't as overly excited anymore as he used to be. The guardians had been very grateful for his help when he started out, but by now they rather expected him to do it as if it were his duties. No one forced him to anything, of course, but when he was asked if he could sculpt toys or paint eggs or provide new designs he never declined. He wanted to help after all. He wanted to be needed. To get the feeling his existence wasn't completely pointless.
The last month had been exhausting. While he had usually stayed out of the last minute chaos and preparations for Christmas this year was different. The lack of believers, attention and appreciation had driven him into a phase of depression. He felt like crap but didn't want to dwell on it so he had decided to keep himself busy and prove once more that he wasn't just a prankster but a guardian who deserved to be taken seriously. Not even a single yeti was teased during that time, no elf frozen, no gift damaged. He blamed it on the flurry of activity that all he had gotten from North had been a short pat on the shoulder before he continued to check the finished toys at the other side of the production section.
Bunny, who had no idea that the winter teen was busy with work at Santoff Clausen, had shown up in the middle of the final spurt because he had wondered about his lack of visits at the Warren. Not that he liked the youth's presence or admired his creativity, he had merely gotten a little bit worried. At least that's what he kept telling himself. Jack explained that he didn't have time for painting eggs until Christmas was over so the Easter spirit left, miffed about North's holiday apparently being more important than his own, as usual.
Jack was stressed out. No matter how much as he wanted to help Bunny, he couldn't split himself in two and was fully stretched with his current job. He only took breaks to revert to his duties as the Spirit of Winter or to take short naps.
But now it was over. The work was done. Christmas had been a huge success. The children were happy. And he felt empty.
There had to be something he could do to gain their belief, he had tried so often already, but he couldn't give up. Even though his depressed mind whispered repeatedly that it was hopeless. He was worn out. And yet, he would give it another shot.
When everyone was asleep he spread winter around the globe. Big fluffy snowflakes kept falling from the sky all night long. Filigree frost patterns adorned trees, rocks and windows. Previously melting snow on branches was shaped into countless frozen drops, shimmering and transparent like crystals. Morning approached and the rays of the sun bathed his creation in a magical orange light, the snow glittering and the ice reflecting the warm colours. It was a true winter wonderland.
Even though Jack could literally hear his bed calling for him and his exhaustion urging him to fly to the North Pole as fast as possible he stayed. His curiosity about people's reaction was too big. Soon the first adults stepped out of their houses but instead of amazement and wonder all that shone in their eyes was annoyance and frustration.
„Great, snow again, I'm late for work already!" a middle-aged man called out to his wife, who was standing in the doorway of their house, and hurried to his snow-covered car.
More curses were muttered under his breath while he irritatedly freed his vehicle from the white blanket. Similar scenes took place all around Jack, not a single person paid tribute to what he had created. Groans and complaints, that was all he got. Maybe he should wait until the children got up. Maybe their reaction would be better. Maybe he should check other countries. Maybe people were more approving there. Maybe. Maybe not. He couldn't take it anymore. It obviously had no use anyway. With a defeated sigh he let the wind lift him up and began his journey back to the North Pole.
A layer of dull blue shadows lay over the deserted snowscape. During this time of the year the polar night reigned over the Guardian of Wonder's home. It rarely turned entirely dark though, for the most part a dim twilight turned the usually white glittering environment of snow and ice into an obscure wasteland.
It was a depressing sight, Jack thought, as he gazed at the world outside. He had slept for several hours and even though he had woken up more tired than before, he didn't feel like sleeping anymore. In fact, he didn't feel like doing anything. So he just sat on the windowsill in his room and stared into the void. Frustration, anger, fear, hopelessness, it all caused havoc in his groggy mind. He tried to ignore the negative thoughts, didn't want to listen to them, longed for them to finally shut up.
Suddenly powerful knocks on his door ripped him away from his inner turmoil. The next moment North stepped into the room, his expression as jolly as ever.
„Hey Jack! Do you have a moment? I have ideas for new toys and could need your opinion."
For a split second the white-haired spirit almost chuckled. Only a few days since Christmas and the Russian guardian was already thinking about the next one. But that didn't change his current state of mind.
„Sorry, North, not now. I'm...not in the mood."
There was a short silence after Jack had averted his gaze from him and resumed staring out of the window. For him the conversation was over. North however sensed that something was wrong.
„You alright?" he asked with a softer voice than usual.
Once more silence followed.
„Yeah...just tired." Jack lied without looking him in the eyes.
The Cossack sighed, he knew the teen long enough to know this wasn't the truth, but he also knew that pressuring him was counter-productive.
„If you need to talk, I'm here. You know that, right?"
Jack merely nodded weakly, his gaze still fixed on the void outside. He heard the door closing behind him. Silence, again. Depressing thoughts attacking him full force, again. He pulled his legs to his chest and buried his face in his knees, hiding the tears from the moon which peeked out between thick grey clouds in the distance.
North was worried, to say the least. Being so quiet and withdrawn wasn't typical for Jack, but he refused to tell him what was troubling him. On the next day he knocked on the white wooden door to his quarters again. He got no reply and carefully opened it, needing a moment to adjust to the darkness of the room. Only a lamp on the desk at the other side of the room provided a faint golden yellow light. The young guardian was still in the same spot as the day before, making North wonder if he had ever left it. When he came closer he noticed that his eyes were closed. Sleeping with his face leaning against the cold glass of the window didn't appear to be the most comfortable position but he didn't seem to mind. A beefy yet gentle hand was cautiously laid on the boy's slender shoulder.
„Jack? Hey, Jack, wake up, I got something for you." the Russian Santa whispered to not startle him as he slowly regained consciousness.
„Huh?" the winter spirit mumbled and rubbed his tired eyes.
„Here." North said and held his other hand out to him in which he carried a big silver plate with a pile of delicious looking cookies.
„Elves baked your favourite ones. Peanut butter and chocolate." he beamed.
Jack mustered the still warm cookies and inhaled the sweet smell. Under normal circumstances they wouldn't have survived for longer than 5 minutes. Right now, though, he didn't feel like eating at all.
„That's nice, thank you. But...I'm not hungry." he muttered and forced himself to give his friend a vague smile.
If North hadn't been concerned about the young man's condition before he sure as hell was now. Jack Frost declining cookies only assured the Cossack that something was indeed wrong. Very, very wrong.
„Alright...I'll just leave them here in case your appetite returns later." he decided and put the plate on the nightstand.
„Is there anything I can do for you?"
Non-characteristically weary blue eyes glanced at the Guardian of Wonder and pondered the question for a moment.
„No...just...don't worry, okay?"
„I'm afraid that's the only thing I can't do." North replied and Jack avoided his gaze.
After not getting another reaction from the teen, who seemed terribly stiff and focused on the dim snowy landscape outside, the ancient guardian heaved a defeated sigh and walked towards the door. One last time he looked back, hoping that Jack would take that last chance and finally talk to him about what was bothering him. But he merely continued to stare out of the window.
Deep down he knew that locking himself up in his room wasn't going to solve his problems. Dwelling in sadness neither. And yet, he couldn't break free from the chains of his own mind. Sure, he could resume his duties as the Spirit of Winter and Guardian of Fun, it would keep him busy and distract him from his worries. Distract? No, it would lead to the opposite. He would give his best, he would get his hopes up and he would be disappointed. Again. People would ignore him, walk through him, complain about the cold weather. No, he couldn't take that anymore. It had no use, whatever he did just never seemed to be good enough.
"But you're a guardian now, you have friends and a handful of believers, that's a lot more than you had 4 years ago."
For a split second this thought managed to cheer him up, but it was gone in a heartbeat. Yeah, he was a guardian, what resulted in him having more work than ever before. Most of it was fun and he enjoyed helping his fellow comrades but it was still work. And his believers? As much as he loved Jamie and Sophie and the others, he was convinced they wouldn't believe in him forever. They were growing up, sooner or later it would be time to let go.
He hugged his legs tighter to him as despair and hopelessness engulfed him once more.
As the days went by Jack was forced to leave his room, if only for a little while. Not because North had persuaded him or because he longed to travel the world again. No, his pent up powers begged to be released. He could feel the urge inside of him increasing with every hour until he eventually gave in. For the first time in what had seemed like forever he let himself fall into the wind's cold embrace and rushed away from Santoff Clausen, staying as close as possible but still far away enough to not harm anyone.
Little did he know that he was observed as he unleashed his powers and caused a raging blizzard while taking the opportunity to scream out his frustrations.
North sighed from his position at the window and kept staring at the dark clouds and the electric blue flashes of light in the distance.
A/N : Everyone who's been through depression knows that "looking on the bright side" just ain't going to work. And I can't imagine that Jack suddenly gets as many believers as the rest of the guardians, but still tries to please everyone and that inevitably leads to disappointments.
