A/N : Final chapter! I don't know what else to say, so here you go. ^^
"What's takin' him so long? He should've been back with Jack by now." Bunnymund muttered more to himself than to the other two guardians, who kept themselves busy in their own ways.
North scribbled designs for potential new toys on a piece of paper while Tooth directed orders at half a dozen fairies, both their minds not completely focused on the task at hand and rather operating on autopilot. The pooka however prefered to repeatedly walk from one side of the Globe Room to the other and look out of the windows every few seconds.
"Most likely Jack doesn't want to be found. And I doubt Sandy would knock him out and drag him here even if he did find him." the Russian Santa replied without even looking in his comrade's direction.
"How can ya be so calm, aren't ya worried at all?" the Easter spirit snapped, not intending to sound so irritated but unable to withhold his frustration.
"Of course we're worried, but it wasn't us who chased him away!" Tooth shot back, her own apprehension getting the better of her.
No one said a word. Even though North didn't openly agree, it was clearly showing in his eyes that he did. Bunny couldn't argue with them. They were right. A fine Guardian of Hope he was, crushing someone he saw as his little brother, someone who was obviously suffering from low self-esteem and depression. After all this time and countless banters and fights he still hadn't managed to keep his temper in check when it came to the youngest guardian. He never intended to hurt him and yet it kept happening. Cursing himself for it he merely looked down and wandered back to the window, where he hoped to discover a trace of gold in the darkness of the polar night.
"I'm sorry." he eventually whispered after what had seemed like forever. "I just wish Sandy would hurry."
It was plain that he was blaming himself and that Tooth's remark had hit a nerve. With a softened expression the hummingbird fairy floated towards him and laid a delicate hand on his furry shoulder.
"I'm sure he'll find him."
Bunny returned her weak smile when the loud squeaking of a pushed back chair caught their attention. Both of them glanced at North, who had suddenly dropped his pen on the table and stood up.
"You know what, I'm fed up with waiting as well." the Cossack stated and bellowed an order to a yeti to get him the guardian globe.
"Why haven't we used it from the start?" Bunny inquired a little annoyed.
Relief that they were finally going to take action instead of wasting time by just sitting around and mild frustration about not doing it sooner mixed up inside him. He had totally forgotten about that special globe and its ability to track each of the guardians down.
"Because Jack was in motion and we thought Sandy would reach him in time. Going after him with sleigh would have made situation only worse. But I hope he had time to calm down by now." North explained.
Soon later the yeti came back and handed the special globe over to his master who eyed it carefully, just like the other two guardians who had joined his side. All of them stared doubtfully at the small blue light on a tiny Caribbean island and a golden one being right next to him.
"I think that thing is broken, mate."
"No, it works fine."
"But North, why should Jack fly to the tropics? It's far too warm and humid for his liking there. It's the polar opposite of winter." Tooth reasoned.
"And I assume that's exactly what he was looking for." the Russian concluded.
"He doesn't want to be reminded of his own element."
The Guardian of Dreams landed on the fine sandy beach surrounded by countless coconut trees. The air wasn't nearly as chilly as it had been high over the Atlantic ocean, even though it was in the middle of the night. In fact it was still warmer than in most other countries during the day. He didn't mind, he even welcomed it, but for a winter spirit it had to be rather unpleasant. Jack's mental condition must have been pretty bad to make him choose this place as destination. Speaking of whom, Sandy only had to follow the faint swirl of dreamsand for less than a minute until he found the youth's sleeping form resting against a palmtree. Golden miniatures of him, Jamie, Sophie and a girl he guessed was his sister played together above his head, the three children darting around on sleighs while the frost teen made sure they had fun and weren't harmed.
Silent as usual the Sandman floated over to his young friend and landed next to him, all the while observing how content he seemed in his dream. He didn't have the heart to rip him away from that small sanctuary of happiness just yet, so he sat down and granted him a few more minutes. Then, gradually, the golden shapes of dreamsand dissolved until they had completely vanished and the young man slowly recovered consciousness. Pale hands rubbed his tired eyes before he blinked and stared at the guardian by his side. Instead of flinching and attempting to flee once more like the older spirit expected, he only let out a deep sigh, as if he had waited for this to happen.
„Took you pretty long to find me." he remarked matter-of-factly.
Sandy had to smirk at the faintest hint of humor in his voice. This was a good start. Since he didn't want to pressure him he merely sat down and waited for him to make the first move. A little nervous the white-haired boy scanned his surroundings as if he was looking for something.
„You've come here alone, haven't you?"
The little golden man nodded, being completely unaware of his comrades' arrival at the other side of the island.
"We should take my tunnels far more often, ya hear me?" Bunny stated right after he had jumped out of the hole in the ground and stared smugly at his two friends, who had literally been thrown out of the underground portal.
They had voted for this way of transportation because it was the least salient one and they prefered to stay unnoticed. A pretentious sleigh with flying reindeer might have caught the frost teen's attention.
"No offense, but I prefer sleigh." North declared and removed a few leaves from his coat.
Tooth brushed the dirt out of her feathers and regained her composure, floating several inches above the earth. They were encircled by innumerable exotic trees and plants, the island was so heavily vegetated that they had trouble deciding where to go. The Guardian of Wonder took the globe out of his pocket and glanced at it shortly before he pointed to the South.
„This direction." he spoke and began to chop his way through the undergrowth.
To their dismay the guardian globe wasn't able to determine Jack's and Sandy's exact location but only a rough course. Precious time was wasted as they lost their bearings in the dense jungle, leading to the journey lasting longer than they had planned. Finally Bunny picked up a faint familiar smell and shortly afterwards they all spotted a tiny blurry and golden shape in the distance, right at the edge of the seemingly endless jungle.
"You want to take me back to the Pole, don't you?" Jack inquired and was mildly surprised when the smaller man shook his head.
"Why are you here then?"
The Sandman merely smiled gently and leaned against a rock behind him until he had gotten in a comfortable position and gazed at the ocean. There was no attempt of him to get answers or a reaction whatsoever from the youth. All he did was keeping his eyes focused on the shimmering reflection of the moon on the water. Minutes had passed when Jack gave up on waiting for an answer and slowly began to relax as well.
No one would force him to anything, no discussions, no lectures, nothing. It was one of the reasons why he liked Sandy so much. His silent nature and seemingly infinite patience made him feel at ease.
The only sound to be heard was the soft rushing of the waves as they washed ashore. Jack looked up at the crystal clear dark blue sky where millions of stars were shining down on his comrade and him. He hadn't paid attention on how long exactly they remained like this until he started whispering, just loud enough for Sandy to hear while his eyes stayed focused on the stars above.
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm still trying...don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for Jamie, Sophie and their friends, they're the first humans to ever believe in me. But I keep thinking about the future. They will forget me, sooner or later. It'll be like I never existed. I do everything in my might and it doesn't lead to anything. People either take winter for granted or complain about it. And when I help North, Bunny or Tooth the kids won't ever find out it was me. So I guess I should stop craving for their attention and just accept that I'm not meant to have it, right?"
Sandy cringed inwardly about the tone in his voice. So much grief, weariness and bitterness, not even a minimal amount of hope left. Usually sparkling cerulean eyes appeared to be dim and lifeless, adding a sorrowful touch to his otherwise blank expression. The Guardian of Dreams had to ponder for a moment how to react. For all he knew, Jack was in an unpredictable emotional state and he didn't want to upset him any further. A golden candycane, a tooth and Easter egg appeared over his head before he pointed at himself and formed a heart, a plus sign and a red cross symbol followed by a snowflake. The teen sighed and tried to smile the slightest bit, but it was forced and barely effective.
"I know you and the others love and care for me, and trust me I am happy about it, but...I just...don't know what's going on with me anymore. I should be satisfied with what I got, but all I can think about is how much I tried and no one gave a damn..."
With every word his voice trembled more until he had to stop and take a deep breath as he urged himself to get his emotions under control. Noticing the boy's mental condition Sandy moved closer to him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. As soon as he felt the warm touch of his friend the walls he had built around himself broke down and he almost choked on the sob when he tried to suppress it. He covered his mouth with a pale hand to muffle the crying sounds which escaped his throat, while more and more tears streamed down his face, unable to stop. Sandy hated to see him like this, yet all he could do was offer silent comfort and rub his back soothingly.
Only several feet away the other three guardians were observing them from their hideout in the jungle. Due to the rushing of the waves and the quiet talking only Bunny with his sensitive hearing was able to hear what the winter spirit said. He was mildly annoyed about having to explain what was going on to his comrades, but at the same time they were relieved that the sound of the ocean had also drowned out the noise they made when they approached their comrades. Otherwise they surely would have given away their presence when North tripped over a protruding root and let out a curse that Tooth explicitly deemed inappropriate for a guardian.
When Jack collapsed Bunny couldn't take it anymore and dashed towards him, but was stopped by a strong hand on his leg, which caused him to land flat on his stomach.
"Why did ya do that, mate!?" he hissed, doing his best to keep his voice low.
"You don't want to startle Jack by jumping out of nowhere, do you?" North spoke and released the pooka's hindleg.
"Well, no, but...crikey, we can't just watch and do nothing! He-" Bunnymund halted when his ears picked up something else.
It was the broken and sniveling voice of the frost teen.
"Bunny is right...nobody likes the cold, why should anyone believe in me..."
"Alright, that's enough!" the Easter spirit yelled and resumed running to the shore before anyone had the chance to hinder him from it again.
Like predicted Jack was shocked, to say the least, when he was faced with the 6'1 rabbit. His eyes widened even more when the remaining two guardians walked out of the jungle. Feeling utterly betrayed he pulled away from the Sandman and stared at him with an incredulous expression.
"You said you were alone!"
Sandy shook his head feverishly and turned around to glare at his friends. Couldn't they have simply trusted and left it to him? Just as the white-haired boy was about to stand up Bunny knelt down and pushed him back, forcing him to stay where he was.
"What do you want? You've eavesdropped, haven't you?" Jack snapped at him, but it was far less intimidating than he had intended.
His eyes were shining wet with tears, his cheeks flushed and his voice still not cooperating without an occasional quiver. How badly he wished this embarassing situaion would end, further humiliation was seriously not what he needed right now.
"We were worried about you." Tooth explained and looked at North, who nodded confirming.
"Listen, mate, and listen carefully." Bunny started in a firm tone, making the youngest guardian prepare for the worst.
However, as he continued he suddenly sounded completely different. Sympathy and concern were evident, his expression softening just like the grip on the teen's shoulder. It was about time he lived up to his name as Guardian of Hope.
"Forget what I said earlier. I was angry, and ya know I say dumb things when I'm angry. Ya deserve the belief of every child of the world. But the world ain't fair, I wish it was. So ask yerself, what do ya enjoy most? Spreadin' winter, makin' the kids happy, havin' fun, right? That's what counts. It's yer center, what ye're meant ta do. What ye're livin' for. Ya wouldn't be Jack Frost if ya stopped doin' exactly that. Forget the people who nag and ignore ya. Focus on those who realize how special ye are. On us, on Jamie and Sophie. We all love ya and would never want ya ta be any different."
He gave him his best kindhearted smile and added with a smirk :
"Even if ya freeze elves or eggs."
Jack chuckled shakily and used the sleeve of his hoodie to brush fresh tears away. The words needed a moment to sink into his fragile mind, to make him thouroughly comprehend the depth and truth they possessed. What did he enjoy most? Just what Bunny had said. Winter, playing, fun, spending time with children and those he loved. Being creative, helping his friends, being by their side. It made him happy. Until the very moment when he suddenly felt unwanted and unappreciated.
„Thanks, I...I'm sorry for snapping at you guys earlier. It's just...I did everything I could and it...it never seems to work. Well, unless back then with Jamie, but I-I hope you get what I mean. I know I shouldn't let it get to me that much, b-but..." he had to stop to take a breath and relaxed just the tiniest bit when Bunny squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.
„...I'm just so frustrated about never getting any credit for what I do. I like painting eggs or design toys, I really do, but no child will ever know it was me who did it. And I have to spread winter, it has to happen, I can't simply cancel it because people prefer summer all year. But they act like snow and ice is only there to ruin their day, no matter how much I try to make winter nice. It's...I...I just don't know what to do anymore..."
North and Tooth moved closer and knelt down in front of him as well, searching for eye contact.
"We are sorry you feel this way." the Russian Santa started, his voice calm and empathetic.
"But I can assure you, we are grateful that you help us with our work. As far as I'm concerned I treasure your opinion just like your toy designs and children love them. I apologize if I ever made you feel like you were forced to contribute. Yetis told me that you spent almost all December at workshop helping with toy production. They were very impressed." North winked good-naturedly.
"However, you don't have to do anything regarding our jobs, you can tell us when you don't feel like it, no one will get mad at you. I know you crave for children's belief and I wish it was as easy as giving someone a toy for Christmas. What I can tell you is, sometimes things happen when you least expect them. Until then, keep in mind you have our support and that you already make countless children happy."
"Also don't forget how much you mean to Jamie and Sophie. You're like a big brother to them. But if you ever feel down, just pay me a visit, you know my fairies worship you, they'll cheer you up in no time." Tooth smiled warmly.
"And about the naggers, there will always be people who can't be pleased. That doesn't make your creations any less wonderful."
"Yeah, we all got 'em, just don't like ta talk about 'em." Bunny nodded.
"Really?" Jack asked in astonishment and with a curious undertone which begged for them to elaborate.
"You think every child on the world is thankful for gifts? There's always some spoiled ones, not bad enough to land on naughty list, who aren't satisfied with what they get or throw it into corner a few days after they got it."
"Same here, mate, especially the older kids aren't that excited about painted eggs anymore, they want expensive stuff for Easter and mistake it for Spring Christmas or somethin'."
"Yes, for some reason children keep expecting more and more. A quarter for a tooth doesn't please everyone anymore, they wonder why it's not a dollar or even more."
Everyone stared at Sandy expectantly, waiting for him to join their talk about the issues with unappreciative children. Yet all he did was smile sheepishly and shrug his shoulders.
"Of course, -off here is an exception. Can't complain about nice dreams, can ya?" the Australian rabbit snorted and elicited snicker from the rest of the group.
"Anyway, I can only try ta imagine how ya must feel. Not bein' believed in for barely one day and bein' walked through has been the worst experience in my life as guardian. I thought about what ya said earlier, if I had kept on doin' my job if no one ever would have acknowledged it was me. To be honest, I can't tell for sure. But what I know is, ye 're a lot stronger than I thought. Ya went through so much, mate. 300 years on yer own and ya still managed ta not lose yer sanity. So please don't do it now. Ya got us, and I assure ya, ya won't get rid of us anymore."
Bunnymund playfully nudged him with his elbow and breathed a sigh of relief when the winter spirit gave him a genuine smile in return. If it had been due to his caring words or the teen's emotional condition, he had no idea, but the next moment he was embraced by two cold slender arms.
"Thanks..." Jack sniffeled as he pressed his face against the pooka's chest fur.
Somewhat taken aback the Guardian of Hope patted his back awkwardly before he hesitantly leaned in and hugged him back.
"It's okay, mate...it's okay..."
Feeling a little left out, the remaining three guardians stood on the sidelines until Bunny looked at them and made a gesture with his hand.
"Well, what are ya waitin' for, I know ya like these group hugs!"
The moon was still high up in the sky when they decided to head home. Instead of leaving right away they had stayed to talk a little more about the worries of their youngest friend. Partly because the athmosphere on the deserted island was so calm and peaceful, partly because they feared he would cloister himself away as soon as they arrived back at the North Pole. Even though he had refused to let it happen for so long, talking about his fears actually helped him to cope with them and feel at least a little better. His problems wouldn't dissolve but it was reassuring to be reminded that he could always count on the other guardians, his new family.
"I hope you remembered where you parked the sleigh..." Jack remarked when they set out, examining the vast jungle lying ahead of them.
"Well, that's no problem...unfortunately." North replied less enthusiastically than normal for him and glanced at Bunny, who merely grinned mischievously and thumped his foot on the sandy ground.
A large hole appeared in the middle of the beach, right next to the Australian rabbit with the triumphant look on his face.
"We traveled by tunnels because you might have noticed sleigh." North explained when the frost teen looked at him curiously.
"Oh...yeah, probably."
He had to admit he was impressed by their foresight. And that they obviously cared so much for him. After all those years he still couldn't comprehend that there were people who actually loved him, despite the mental wreck he was. He wished he could finally accept it and take it for granted instead of constantly questioning if these were their honest feelings towards him. As if she could read his mind, Tooth put a gentle hand on his shoulder and smiled at him while North, Bunny and Sandy mimicked her expression.
"Let's go home."
A/N : Phew, this was hard. I wanted a sort of happy end, but not let it seem like depression is just a phase which can be completely cured by some kind words.
Hope you liked it! Reviews are very appreciated as usual! ^_^
