Darkness surrounded him. Wherever he turned, just black emptiness. He couldn't see anything, not even his hand in front of his face. There was nothing. What was this place? Was he dead? Then why did his body still hurt so much? And why was he feeling unusually hot? Was he stuck in his own mind? If that was the case, couldn't his subconsciousness have tried to come up with a little more cheerful scenery? Or at least suppress the agony he was still going through? This was no fun. On the contrary, it freaked him out. All he could hear were his own thoughts. His own thoughts in an ocean of darkness.
One day later the medical yetis were busy refining the medication in order to alleviate Jack's pain. No treatment had been crowned with success so far and his temperature hadn't lowered either. It was a highly frustrating ordeal.
Tooth had reluctantly left to check on her fairies. While she would have prefered to stay by Jack's side she had to accept that there was nothing she could do for him. As the Guardian of Memories she had to fulfil her duties. The children relied on her, although her heart wasn't really in it anymore. But she had to be professional and switch her concern off when she directed the fairies to destinations worldwide. This however turned out to be more difficult than she had expected. Her mind was constantly revolving around the frost teen and wondering if his condition had changed yet. As the evening approached she had made a decision. She would fly to the North Pole for a few hours every day. During her absence Baby Tooth would be in charge of the Tooth Palace. After all, she had done that job and proven to be her most reliable fairy often enough. In return she allowed her little helper to visit Jack while she herself stayed at the palace. That way there would always be one of them by the teen's side.
Sandy traveled the planet faster than he normally did. It didn't influence the dreams he gave children, they were as pleasant as they could be. He had always been a laid back and calm person who disliked stress and hurry and therefore took his time to spread the dreamsand all over the globe. As long as he managed to finish his task before the night was over everything was fine. But now he couldn't stand to be slow in any way. He had to finish his job and return to Santoff Clausen. The worry about something bad happening to his young friend while he was casually spreading nice dreams didn't leave him alone. It didn't matter whether he was able to do anything for the boy or not, he simply had to be there for him.
North, as much as he wanted to stay glued to the chair next to Jack's bed, had to make sure the toy production was going according to plan. Christmas was less than 3 weeks away and the preparations were running at full speed. The suggestion of moving his workspace to the infirmary had been blatantly forbidden by the medical yetis. Even though the winter spirit was in a coma, commotion and other yetis constantly walking in and out because they had to talk to their master wouldn't be beneficial for his recovery. The Russian Santa had to admit they were right and retreated to his office for any work that still had to be done. But alongside his duties he used every spare minute for creating a special kind of glue to fix the magical shepherd's crook.
Bunny was the only one of the guardians who had dropped everything and refused to leave the teen's side. His work had to wait, he could do overtime and catch up later. As soon as Jack was fine again. Actually the designs for his eggs were pretty much finished, mainly because the frost teen had contributed a lot this year and they had created impressive new ornaments together. Besides that, his holiday was still several months away, so nothing to fret about. Bunnymund shook his head at himself. Who would have thought the day would come when he officially deemed Jack Frost more important than Easter?
In fact, this was the reason why everyone of the guardians had severe problems with concentrating on their jobs. Jack was on top of their priority lists and they couldn't stand the possibility of something bad happening to him while they were not around. What if Pitch attacked again to complete his revenge and none of them was there to stop him? Although it was very unlikely that the defeated Nightmare King had gathered power after a day only. On the other hand, they also hadn't expected him to strike as fiercely as he had just done. Anyway, they had to protect their youngest, even if it meant merely sitting by his bed.
A cold breeze blew around the Guardian of Hope. Under normal circumstances he would have complained and closed the windows immediately. But despite the shiver the cool air caused he didn't mind. For some reason he knew that the wind was as worried about Jack's health as the rest of them and just tried to comfort him. Bunny checked the washcloth on the boy's forehead, removed it to dip it into a bowl of icy water and placed it back on his head. The fever troubled him. It was so uncommon and disturbing that a winter spirit could develop such a high temperature. How he wished he could do something to ease his suffering. He wanted to help him so badly and yet he couldn't think of anything. Frustration welled up inside of him but his concern quickly pushed it aside. Gently he placed his paw on Jack's hand.
„Ya gotta fight, mate. Be strong...I know you are."
For a moment he had the impression something was touching his hand. He would have focused more on it if he hadn't still been unsettled about the gruesome darkness around him. But this was his mind, he should be in control of if.
Determined Jack took a few steps forward and every movement sent shivers of pain up and down his spine. It didn't seem to make a difference whether he moved in reality or in his imagination, the effects on his body stayed the same. Awesome. He kept walking nonetheless. There had to be an escape from this depressing void.
"How is he?" asked the Tooth Fairy immediately after she had entered the infirmary.
„Same as before." Bunny spoke with a low voice, his gaze only shortly meeting hers.
„Have the yetis managed to create medicine that actually works?"
The question wasn't supposed to sound so reproachful and yet North's helpers, who were standing around a table in the corner of the room and testing several liquids, darted an offended look in the bustling female's direction. Bunnymund shook his head and sighed tiredly.
„No, they are workin' on a new mixture, but they have ta be cautious. If it's too mild it won't have an effect on him and if it's too high it might even be dangerous. Besides, it's been only one day. Trust 'em, they do what they can."
„I know...but I'm just so worried about him. I hate to see him like this." the hummingbird-hybrid explained and landed next to her Australian comrade.
„Same here..."
A tiny hand was placed on his furry back to offer comfort, but it did little to ease the nagging concern in his head. If something positive wasn't going to happen soon he would lose his mind. Once again the door opened and the remaining two guardians walked in. Sandy gave his friends a soft smile and a nod and then joined them by the comatose teen's side.
„I have good and not so good news." North announced without bothering to greet them first.
„The good ones, mate, I need the good ones."
„I have experimented all day with special glue and I think it will do the job."
„Oh, that's great! But, what about the bad news?" Tooth's cheer quickly turned into an apprehensive expression.
„Not actually bad ones. I tested glue on few pieces of wood. It will take a while until it's fully dried, only then we'll see if it actually worked."
„How long do we have ta wait?" Bunny asked.
„24 hours."
During the evening the yetis had finished their new medicine and dearly hoped it was going to help the winter spirit. Upon being asked about the contents of it, they merely explained it was a mixture of enhanced morphine and anti-inflammatories. The exact contents were a lot more complicated so they assumed a simplified answer for the already troubled guardians would be enough.
Everyone's stare was fixed on the unconscious teen as the medicine was injected into the vein in his arm. The yetis kept checking his vital signs which were constantly displayed on the small monitor next to his bed. After minutes feeling like hours once again Jack's breathing had visibly gotten calmer and less strained. His facial expression also looked more at ease, even though he was still far from being his old self.
Guardians as well as yetis let out a sigh of relief. At least, a small ray of hope. Literally, since unnoticed by any of them, the moon's light shone down softly through the open windows.
Something was different. While he still had the impression that a part deep inside of him was bruised and broken, most of the pain had subsided. His body kept aching, but he could deal with it. This was nothing compared to what he had endured up to a few moments ago. He had no idea what had caused his sudden alleviation and honestly didn't care. All that mattered to him right now was that he felt better and it made walking so much easier. Step by step he continued his way through the darkness until he could finally distinguish a scenery around him slowly taking shape. From black emptiness a place evolved which he knew only too well. The lake in Burgess. His home for over 300 years. It was frozen and everything around it from trees, rocks, plants to the ground were covered in deep snow. Despite it being night the light from above was reflected on the snow and tinted the landscape in a softly glowing bluish white.
Jack looked up at the sky and noticed the lack of stars. But therefore the full moon shone brighter than all of them ever could.
„Hello, Jack Frost."
The Guardian of Fun swung around to check if someone was standing behind him, but no one was there. Just the peaceful winterly forest. Where had that voice come from? Was he starting to become insane?
„I can assure you, you are not insane, my boy."
The voice sounded deep, powerful and yet contained a warmth and gentleness that had no equal. Like a god. Now it slowly dawned on the teen. Cerulean eyes stared widely at the moon above him, whose size had increased considerably all of a sudden.
„Are you...Man in Moon?" he asked feebly.
„Yes, I am."
A million thoughts ran through Jack's mind. Finally the deity who had brought him here had decided to talk to him. There was so much he had planned to ask him if he ever got the chance. But now he couldn't form a single question. Instead he remembered all the insults and accusations he had screamed at the moon in the past three centuries. Frustration, sadness and anger had left their marks on the immortal teen and he had often gotten fed up with the moon's silence. Countless pleas were ignored, which led to a considerable amount of temper tantrums. In those situations Jack simply didn't know how to deal with his emotions and the constant lack of any kind of reaction whatsoever. Back then he thought maybe the moon would say something if he was confronted with foul language, if only to tell him it was enough. He longed for interaction so badly that he sometimes didn't care whether it was positive or negative.
But now the time had come and the young man regretted every swear word he had ever spat out. Might and authority emanated from the bright sphere, so much that Jack could barely handle it. He felt like a little employee, who had always complained about their horrible boss, and then couldn't utter a word when finally meeting him face to face. Swallowing audibly he wished the ground would open and swallow him up.
„Do not worry about what has been said in the past. I understand the troubles you were going through and do not hold any grudges against you."
Wait a second, how could the moon tell what he was thinking? He had said none of this out loud. Was he reading his mind?
„Actually we are inside of your mind."
„Oh, yeah, right." Jack eventually muttered more to himself.
The fact that he was like an open book to the deity made him feel rather uncomfortable. He nervously shifted his weight from one foot the the other, hoping that this conversation wasn't going to turn into a complete disaster. And yet, one question popped up in his head, refusing to leave him alone.
„I feel there is something you want to ask me?"
„Yes..." the winter spirit admitted and hesitated for a moment.
„Do not be afraid, my boy." Man in Moon soothed him with his gentle voice.
„Why now? I have been begging you to talk to me for centuries. I was so confused and frightened and I really needed you to explain what my purpose was. It would have meant the world to me to know why I was here. Even when Pitch attacked and you chose me as a guardian you didn't bother to talk to me. So, why are you doing it now?"
Jack was aware of his question sounding more accusing than he wanted, but like so often his emotions had gained the upper hand. The moon however didn't seem to mind and his aura stayed as calm as it had always been.
„I apologize for the lack of communication. It was not my intention to cause you any sort of suffering and I know you desired to hear the truth. But there were reasons for my decision. It is also not possible for me to talk to people unless they are in a certain state of consciousness. Something inbetween sleep and awareness. Deep meditations can achieve this state...as well as comas."
„Oh...I assume I'm not meditating right now, am I?" Jack inquired although he already knew the answer.
„I fear not. That is why I am here. You have developed a dangerous connection with your staff and it cannot go on like this. It can be your downfall and I will not allow that to happen."
Man in Moon's voice still held warmth but now there was also a hint of seriousness and concern. When a deity worried about something then it was proof enough that the situation was indeed serious. It disturbed Jack in great measure. Whatever was going on with his staff wasn't good at all.
„What do you mean with ‚dangerous connection'?" he asked hesitantly.
„The more you used your staff the more of yourself flowed into it and vice versa. You became so interwoven with it that it started to have physical effects on you when your staff was harmed, because a part of your being lives in it. Each time it is broken a part of you dies and it is up to you to revive it again. And the reason why it gets harder after each destruction is that with each fixing you insert more of yourself into it. So the physical consequences also get more intense and severe the next time it is broken. It is a vicious cycle."
Jack was confused whether he should be shocked, frightened, angry or curious. In fact all of these emotions were battling against each other. So much information and yet it caused even more questions which begged to be answered.
„Then why did you give me the staff in the first place if it was so risky?"
Man in Moon ignored the snappish undertone. The boy's disgruntlement was very understandable and he had a right to know the truth.
„I have given you the staff because it was supposed to help you controlling and focusing your powers. You were young. To be honest, a little too young. I had already chosen you as Spirit of Winter years before your human life ended. You had something special and it had gotten my attention. Anyway, you were supposed to be turned into a spirit almost a decade later. But when you died in the lake I had to make a decision. Trust me, it was not an easy one. On the one hand you were perfect for the job. On the other one you were so young and I was not completely sure if you were able to deal with your new powers. That is why I made it possible for you to control them with the help of the staff. I thought you would learn to use them without it after a while."
Even though it wasn't the deity's intention Jack felt offended by his last sentence.
„Well, that staff was the only possession I had, so of course did I become pretty attached to it. And I always thought I couldn't use my powers without it because, if I didn't need it why should I have received it? How should I have known any of this if no one ever bothered to talk to me about it?"
By now the white-haired teen was upset, to say the least. The moon had turned him into a spirit, given him the magical shepherd's crook as conduit of power, watched him develop that dangerous bond with it, watched him using his powers in a wrong way and watched him struggle and suffer his way through three centuries. Always watching, never doing or saying anything. And now that he had almost died once again he was blamed for something he had no idea about.
Man in Moon felt the young man's raging emotions. He had been prepared for it. After all, he had been silently observing him throughout his whole life so it was no problem for him to get the measure of the winter spirit. He continued speaking in that calm and unfazed voice which made Jack wonder if he ever lost his patience.
„It is up to spirits themselves to lead their lives and find solutions for their problems. I solely intervene in exceptionally serious situations."
This statement didn't remotely provide the reasonable explanation Jack had been waiting for and didn't succeed in easing his temper in the slightest. While he understood that the deity probably had better things to do than listening to complaints and solving everyone's issues all day, an advice would have been greatly appreciated. A single and solid advice. In a matter of 300 years. Not more and not less.
„Regarding your powers," the moon continued, „it should not suprise you that you are indeed able to use them without your staff. Remember when you spread frost patterns on windows? When you made frost drawings come alive and when you created magical snowballs? For none of these did you need the staff. You kept telling yourself you were nothing without it and yet you overlooked the proof that the reverse was true. It is only a piece of wood. Everything you have achieved with it was your doing, your powers, your magic. Yesterday you even protected the guardians from Pitch Black, despite your broken staff. You see, my boy, you are so much more powerful than you think you are."
Self-esteem, contrary to the common belief of those who hadn't bothered to actually get to know him, had never been Jack's strong point. Usually he left the superficial impression that he only cared about having fun and pranking people and not about what others might think of him. But he was extremely conscious about his own weaknesses and constantly doubted himself and whatever he did. After the harsh truth and the realization that he had messed up without intending to do so once again, Man in Moon's praise was at least a mild comfort.
„The guardians and your human friends already believe in you. Now it is about time you believe in yourself."
Cerulean eyes stared at the snowy ground before they dared to look up at the glowing sphere in the sky again.
„What about the wind? It always dropped me the moment I let go of my staff. Shouldn't it have been able to catch me no matter what?"
Jack thought he had heard a slight chuckle from the moon, nothing exaggerated but still obviously amused.
„What's so funny about that?" the Guardian of Fun inquired confused as well as curious.
„Only a comparison I will use to explain the problem. Imagine someone riding a horse for the first time. He uses a saddle to make it easier for both of them. He gets used to riding the horse with the saddle and the horse gets used to carry him with the saddle on its back. They keep on doing this for years and rely so much on the saddle that as soon as he tries riding his horse without it it is doomed to fail. The rider is unsettled because he thinks he cannot ride bareback and the horse senses his insecurity and it contributes to its own fear of the unfamiliar situation. And what happens? The horse bucks its rider off even though it could easily carry him. They proved they can work together. It does not depend on the saddle, just on the two of them."
Now a slight chuckle escaped Jack's mouth as well. The mental image of himself as cowboy riding a horse was somewhat hilarious, he had to admit.
„So I could fly without my staff if the wind and I truly realized we didn't need it?"
„Exactly."
„And...how exactly does that work? And how do I learn to use my powers differently? Does it mean I have to get rid of my staff? To be honest, I have grown so attached to it that I would like to keep it. But without the ‚dangerous connection' part of course." the young immortal sputtered and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
He was kind of embarrassed to openly admit how much he clung to what was basically nothing more than a piece of wood and yet he couldn't help it. It had served as comfort so very often and not only his body and powers had created a bond with it, but also his emotions.
„One step at a time, my boy. Your staff will stay in your possession and you will still be able to use it. But in the way Aster throws his boomerangs and Nicholas fights with his swords. As weapons without any connections. In the end it will not make a difference whether you use the staff or any other item or none at all. I will teach you how to focus your powers, fix your staff and reverse the connection."
For the first time in what seemed like forever Jack felt excitement and eagerness welling up inside of him. Finally the moon would help him and he couldn't wait for the knowledge the deity was going to share with him. But then, all of a sudden, reality hit him like a brick when he remembered a very obvious and serious problem.
„That sounds great and I'll do my best, but uhm...how can I fix my staff when I'm stuck in a coma?"
Even though he couldn't see Man in Moon's face and just the bright shining sphere up in the nightly sky, he could sense his warm smile nonetheless.
„Trust your friends and me. We won't let you down."
A/N : I think it was high time that Man in Moon FINALLY talked to Jack. I am curious, did anyone expect this? ;)
Thank you guys so much for all the reviews and a big HELLO to the new followers! ^_^
