Chapter 16 – Walls

The four of us ran back to my house. As we got closer, Jacob phased back. I sprinted through the front door, to find Rosalie pacing. Esme was sitting on the couch and Renesmee wasn't in sight. Rosalie flew into Emmett's arms. Emmett punched me in the arm, Rosalie smiled and they dashed off into the night. Esme looked back and Renesmee sat up; she was leaning her head in Esme's lap. "Momma!" she jumped over the couch and hugged me. I hugged her tightly, kissing her hair. Edward walked past us and I patted his arm. "Thank you," I mouthed and he smiled back. Renesmee looked up and saw Jacob. She patted my neck; I saw she wanted to go to him. I smiled and let her go. As they embraced, I went into the living room. "Thank you, Esme." She held out her arms and I fell onto the couch and hugged her, "Are you alright?" I chuckled once, "Yea. It's always relaxing ripping apart your attacker." Alice flew into the house, "Renesmee, are you alright?" They hugged, "I'm sorry, I couldn't see anything sooner." Renesmee looked at me, "It's fine, Alice. He just made me so angry."

Alice and Renesmee discussed what happened before I arrived, while I spoke with Esme. "Bella, dear, are you two going to be alright? This must not have been easy for you." I scoffed, "It was actually a lot easier than you think." She scoffed, "Bella, you don't have to do that. Act like nothing bothers you. Bella, it's alright." I sighed, "Esme, really, I'm fine." "Momma." "Bella," Alice and Renesmee spoke together. I groaned, "Did I just lapse into Arabic, if so, you'd still understand me, but I'll say it again, I'm alright," I said smiling. Alice sighed and Renesmee shook her head, "I'm going to bed." She held out her hand for Jacob and he wrapped his arms around her as they ascended the stairs. Alice looked back at me, "He spends the night here?" she whispered. I laughed, "I'd be a hypocrite if I was against it. Besides, she's over 100 years old." Esme's eyes widened, "But Bella….?" I shook my head, "Esme, the first time I slept with a guy in my room, I was seventeen." All eyes fell on Edward, who laughed.

Alice sat on the other side of me on the couch, while Edward stood by the mantle. "Bella, are you going to be alright, seriously? We could stay," Esme offered. Alice beamed, "Of course, that would be fun." I smiled weakly, "Not tonight." Alice pouted, "Fine. Still difficult," and she bounded out of the room. I shook my head, "Still irritating," I called after her. Esme stood and patted Edward's arm, "Bella, if you need us…." I smiled, "I know, Esme." She kissed my forehead and went for the front door. Edward hadn't move. I was looking away from him, "You don't have to stay." I heard him move to stand in front of me. He crouched down and took my hands, "Bella?" I looked back to face him, "Yes?" We stared at each other, "I'm not going to leave. I can see it in your eyes, tonight was not as easy as you make it." My eyebrow furrowed, "Maybe so. But I'll get through it." He didn't release my hands, "But you don't have to do it alone." I dropped my head and bit my lip, trying to hold back. Inhaling, I looked up at him, "I know and I appreciate it. But…" "But nothing. Bella, you are not alone in this world, not anymore." My resolve was starting to break, "Good night, Edward."

He stood, without speaking and went for the front door. I followed, seeing him out. He lingered at the door, but turned to face me. "Can I just ask for one thing?" he requested. I nodded. Moving so fast, he wrapped his arms around me. Robotically, I wrapped my arms around him and I felt him kiss my hair. Then he released me and ran into the night.

At school, I acted as objectively as I had before the Cullen's arrival, but on the trips I sponsored, I allowed some leeway of fun. On the paintball trip, the students were glad to see that I was participating in the day's activity. Of course, Rosalie, Renesmee and I used this occasion to our advantage, wearing skintight tank tops and form fitting jeans. This distracted the boys a lot, causing some of them to trip as they got off the bus. The three of us laughed quietly. Above everyone, Emmett was the most excited about today. When everyone got their equipment and separated into teams, Renesmee, the Cullen's and myself played together. Jasper and Emmett's main target was me, trying to measure how much I'd learn in my new life. They threatened Edward that if he tried to protect me, he was next. "Excuse me; the only one who's going to need protection is you two." After sending the human students home on the bus, the real games began. Taking off our protective gear and using our own equipment, which was more powerful than the rented ones, we ran to their baseball clearing, shooting at each other in the woods. Emmett decided to put us on teams, "Cullens versus Swans," he declared. Rosalie was shocked, "Sounds unfair." Renesmee and I smiled at each other, "Sounds like fun," we said together.

Renesmee and I sprinted through the treetops. Renesmee stayed close to me, so that Alice could not see what we were playing. However, Edward was still able to see what we were doing, by reading Renesmee's mind. I put my shield over her, knowing that it blocked out mental attacks. I noticed his bewildered face as we ran through the trees, giving us an upper hand. Soon, Esme and Carlisle joined us, making it seven against two. Living in the jungle, Renesmee and I learned to silence our moves even to vampire ears. Running through the dark, in the trees, we resorted back to our habits of being in the jungle. We played all night long, losing to the Cullens. We conceited because Renesmee was getting exhausted. She stayed home will the rest of us went to school. On the morning of the Cherry Blossom Festival, I packed picnic baskets and waited for the students to arrive. The Cullen's were the first to arrive; again, no surprise about that. It was a cool day, but still cloudy. Alice saw the weather was perfect for vampires to go to the festival.

When the other students arrived, they all came together in their own car. Alice, Rosalie and Renesmee drove with me, while, Edward, Emmett and Jasper drove Edward's car and the human students followed in their car. I had to maintain a human speed, so the others could keep up. Emmett drove Edward's car and he flew down the highway. I sighed deeply, "I am can't wait to have a wrestling match with him. I've been holding this in since I was human." Rosalie laughed, "He wants to fight you too. He wants to see how you would match up to him." We talked the entire ride, all of us completely impatient about the human driving speed. At the festival, Edward, Emmett and Jasper already had set out several large blankets on the ground. To our surprise, they were speaking with Jacob, who beamed when he saw Renesmee. They went off on their own, same as Alice & Jasper, Emmett & Rosalie and the other human students. I walked under the cherry blossoms, completely lost in the colors of the petals. Though I was lost in my mind, I was not unaware of someone walking behind me.

"Edward, my senses are as good as yours. And, honestly, maybe better." I turned and no one was there. Ok, can a vampire lose their mind? I thought to myself. I turned and jumped back. Edward was dangling from a branch in front of me, "Just as good, maybe. Better, definitely not." He chuckled and jumped to the ground. I stared at him and laughed, "Maybe, I'm losing my jungle edge. Maybe after here, I should move back there." I smiled and looked up into treetops. Some petals began to fall and I caught one in my palm. "Are you enjoying the Festival?" I looked up at him, "Yes. Renesmee and I found out about it last year. We went to several when we lived out east. Actually," I looked around us making sure no one was around, "we collect several petals for the house." I sprinted further into the trees, Edward following close behind. I kicked off my shoes and jumped into the treetops. Edward stood at the base of my tree and watched as I rapidly picked petals. I placed them into my backpack and leapt to the ground.

He chuckled and reached for my hair. "That must have been fun," he stated as he picked a petal out of my hair. I smiled, this was becoming too familiar. I sighed and looked down to the ground. "Bella?" I bit my lip, "Umm, I better get going. I need to find the other students." I turned and walked away to the picnic sight. As I approached, I saw Renesmee and Jacob leaning against a tree, her in the circle of his arms. A pang of jealousy twinge inside of me. If I would allow myself, I could have that again. I can't. He'll hurt me again, I can't risk that. I saw how happy my daughter was with Jacob and the way he watched her, with so much adoration in his eyes. I remember when he used to look at me like that. I will again, if you let me. It's too risky, I answered back. Bella, life is a risk, but you must take risks to get what you want. I shook my head; the pain would be too great. I noticed Alice & Jasper leaning underneath their own tree, Rosalie & Emmett walking hand in hand. Even Carlisle & Esme showed up and their heads were close together, smiling. I know, before him, I never noticed this kind of thing, but now that I have sampled it, I ached for it. But I've been through the pain of losing love and I refuse to go through it again.