Fate/first order derivative
Part I.5
⇒ restart: iteration 15, day 1, early night
FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! What the actual fuck!
⇒ breathe dude
Bluh. Right. Breathe. Okay. I'm okay. Just breathe.
Gah. That sucked. It's strange, though. I don't seem to actually remember the pain when I restart after dying, you know? It's like I can remember thinking something hurts, but not the actual physical sensation. Maybe I'm just blocking it out or repressing it? Either way, good job, brain. You keep that up.
⇒ so what was that about
I have no idea! The guy just likes showing up and stabbing people, I guess? Who does that?!
⇒ what about the address
What about the - FUCK.
I check my pockets. Of course I don't have the slip of paper Rin gave me. Shit. No inventory on respawn? This game sucks, man.
⇒ get gud, noob
I can't remember the address either. I only gave it a quick look. Thought I had at least another day to memorize it. Shit.
Okay, calm down. It's all right. I'll just have to ask Rin for the address again this time. Nothing's really been lost. I look over the machine and the open notebook on my desk and -
Wait.
So... going back to that energy spectrum Uncle Shin said he could detect. He called the most common kind "G-Energy." The notes say it shows up on the detector as one green light and two to four blue lights, depending on the intensity of the signal.
"G-Energy." Holy Grail. Grail energy.
I'm an idiot.
⇒ rethink everything
So let's assume that the dark energy Uncle Shin was tracking had something to do with this "magic" somehow. Which is in fact a thing. (Come on, worldview. We can do this. Just keep mentally swapping out "magic" for "sufficiently advanced technology of unknown origin" until the pain goes away. We'll get there eventually. Baby steps.)
I go back through the notebooks again. I keep getting drawn back to those date range calculations. The ones that just happen to match up with when the Grail War's getting starting. That can't be a coincidence, right?
⇒ skip to: iteration 15, day 2, early morning
I wait until they're back, then go down the street to Emiya's. No one answers when I knock, but the door's unlocked. I go in and wander out towards the back, where I know they are. "Hey, Tohsaka. About the Murder-Death-Kill - who decides when it's gonna happen? Is it the Church or -"
"Who the fuck are you?!"
Rin points her arm at me like a rifle. Saber draws her invisible sword. Emiya... well... stays unconscious on the floor.
Oh. Right.
I... sort of skipped the introductions this time, didn't I. Took a rain check on that first meeting and the trip to the church, so I wouldn't have to go through meeting creepy priest or psycho loli again. Didn't really think too much about it.
⇒ oops
I take a deep breath. "I'll come in again."
⇒ no one expects the japanese inquisition
I spin around in place, then wave. "Hi! I'm Tomasu Tomonaga! I'm stuck in a time loop! Please help me!"
⇒ our chief weapon is surprise
⇒ surprise and abject groveling
Oh, God. It's just dawning on me. I'm going to have to go through this every single time I need something from them, aren't I? Which I am, because they're pretty much my only source of information. This... this is going to be maddening.
⇒ yup
⇒ better start getting used to it
I go through the whole thing all over again. Strangely enough, at the end of it, neither of them really feel like volunteering information to a stranger who literally just wandered in from off the street. Obviously, I'm going to have to work on my pitch.
The fact that Emiya is still lying on the floor bleeding probably isn't helping anything, either. "Look, it doesn't matter," Rin finally snaps as she switches out the bandages on his shoulders. "We're busy! Come back later - unless you just want me to mind wipe you and be done with it."
"... actually, could you?" I scratch the back of my head. "A reset sounds pretty good right now, honestly."
"Just get out!" She points her index finger up above my head and fires off an energy blast. I take the hint and run.
⇒ skip to: iteration 15, day 2, late morning
I wait until I'm sure Rin's gone, then I go back and try out my spiel on Shirou. He at least hears me out. "So what are you going to do now?" he asks when I'm finished.
"I have absolutely no idea." I rub my face. "I mean, this magic stuff sounds like my best lead and all. But other than asking Tohsaka, I've got no idea how to go about researching it."
He nods. "I can't really help you there myself. I only know what my dad told me, and he didn't say much."
"Honestly, the thing that's really stressing me out right now is how to convince you guys to listen to me every few days." I hesitate. "I know this is kind of a weird thing to ask, but... is there any kind of like... I dunno... password or something I could bring up next time that would prove to you I'm not just making shit up? Like... some kind of memory or something you haven't told anyone about?"
"Not really. Honestly, your best bet is probably just to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. I'll believe you then."
"... you will?" I blink. "Meaning... you believe me now?"
"Sure, why not?" He shrugs. "I just learned about Servants and the Holy Grail. I don't see any reason time loops couldn't be real, too."
That makes sense, I guess. All the same, given the clusterfuck this loop's already turned into, I can't help but be a little touched. "... huh. Thanks, man."
Well... as long as I'm pushing my luck... I glance over at the other person in the room. "So, um... Saber?..."
"I will follow the example of my Master." Saber sips her tea. She's just been sitting quietly next to Emiya this whole time, exuding this air of silent disapproval. "Regardless of my personal opinions on the matter." Something in her tone suggests I shouldn't push this topic of conversation any further, at least if I plan on keeping all of my organs.
I again decide to take the hint. "Right. Forget I asked."
⇒ skip forward
Emiya shows me to the door. "Sorry I can't be of more help with this," he says. "It sounds like I'm probably going to be pretty busy with this Grail stuff from now on."
"No, yeah, I understand." I try not to look too frustrated.
"Still... if there's anything I can do... don't be afraid to ask, okay?" Shirou offers me his hand.
Dammit. Emiya's just too damn nice for his own good. "Thanks, man," I say. I reach out and shake.
ZZRRRP
⇒ transfer complete
Fire and smoke. A little boy wanders alone through hell. "A hero of justice." "I'll do it for you, then." A weary man in a black kimono looks down and smiles.
ZZRRRP
"- whoa, hey, what?" I jerk my hand back. "What the hell was - did you see that?"
"See what?" Shirou tilts his head.
So that's obviously a no. "... uh. It's nothing. Guess I'm just tired. Thanks again, Emiya." I turn and trudge away.
The hell it was, though. That was no nothing. That was very clearly a something. But what kind of something?
⇒ skip forward: iteration 15, day 4, morning
I spend the rest of the weekend trying to research magic in general as best I can. There's not a whole lot at the library or even online. By the end of things, I'm starting to feel like Dungeons & Dragons gave me a better overview than most of the stuff I've come across.
I manage to catch Emiya on the way to school Monday morning. "So how does magic work, anyway?" I ask, once I'm sure we're out of earshot of anyone. "I mean, how do you use it?"
"It's hard to describe." He scratches the back of his head. "My dad said that there were these things called Magic Circuits that only mages have. They activate if you know how to run your life energy through them."
"And how do you learn to do that?" I ask.
"It involves a lot of mediation. Some guided imagery exercises. At least, that's how Dad taught me." He shrugs. "Rin would probably be able to tell you more. Anyway, I'm not really supposed to talk about it."
"Got it." I glance around. We're approaching the school now. Sidewalk's getting a lot more crowded. "In general terms, though. What kind of... um... stuff can you do?"
"Not much. Structural analysis, mostly." We walk up the stairs towards his homeroom. "I can also reinforce certain materials. I use it to fix things."
"Huh." I scratch my chin. "Still. That sounds really useful, actually. Kind of like you're carrying around a scanner or an ultrasound or something..." I wonder if there's anything he could tell me about Uncle Shin's detector?
"Yo, Emiya!" someone else calls out. Oh, great, this asshole? What does he want?
I've basically followed Emiya straight up to his desk - no big deal, since my homeroom's right next door. The guy who just hailed him is Shinji Matou. I don't really know the guy, but he has a reputation as an inexplicably popular douchebag. (Okay, maybe not that inexplicable - his family's rich, after all.) My handful of dealings with him have only reinforced that impression.
"Oh, Shinji." Shirou glances at him. "Do you know Tomonaga? He's in class B -"
"Doesn't matter, don't care." Matou crosses the room and slams his hands down on Shirou's desk. Well, shit. Rude much? "Listen, did you hear about Mitsuzuri?"
"You mean Ayako?" Shirou furrows his brow. "I heard they found her, yeah."
"Who?" I ask, clueless as usual.
"She's in class A," Shirou mutters to me. "She went missing Saturday. That's why they let out school early yesterday."
"Seriously?" I raise my eyebrows. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?
⇒ why don't you ask
... yeah, fair.
"But did you hear about where they found her?" There's something deeply unsettling about Matou's smile. "I heard it was in a back alley in Shinto. They say her eyes were glazed over and her uniform in tatters." He licks his lips. "Doesn't it make you wonder? How a normal girl like her wound up like that? What do you think she's been getting up to at night?"
... what the fuck. I mean - just... what the fuck? What the everliving shit is this guy's damage?! From his tone, I half-expect him to whip it out and start jerking it right here in front of us. And wow, there is a mental image I immediately regret from the bottom of my heart.
⇒ yeah that's a twelve out of ten on the nope scale
I glance over at Shirou, if only to make sure I'm not the only one hearing this. His expression is totally blank. I think he's having so much trouble processing this that he's fallen back into DOS mode. Divide by zero, does not compute, please empty the human trash. He has balled up his hand into a fist, though.
For my part, the only thing I can think of to do is just get the fuck out. "I'll... see you later, Emiya," I say slowly. "I should... yeah." I walk out of the room. Note to self: in future loops, avoid that conversation. At all costs.
⇒ skip forward
Lunch rolls around. Just another ten hours or so until I hit the reset point. I'm pretty much out of ideas now, though. Guess this loop really is a wash.
On a whim, I go down to the school library to see if they've got anything about magic and/or the occult. As one might expect, I come up with a whole lot of nothing. Regardless, I start digging through the mythology section, if only for the sake of thoroughness.
That's when I find it.
No, not a book. It's some kind of ornate circle, inscribed in dark red on the bottom shelf, surrounded by weird figures and hieroglyphics. It doesn't seem to be drawn in ink or paint. It almost looks like it's been carved into the wood somehow.
I reach out and touch the edge of the circle.
⇒ bad move
ZZRRRP
⇒ transfer complete
⇒ warning: corrupted
Blood blood always need more blood the monster the hunger it calls not fair never fair why punish her. Stone stone they all turn to stone but stone doesn't bleed not good enough. Bleed bleed soon they all will bleed she doesn't want to except the part of her that does but the master requires it not true master yet all the same and besides she has done far worse so much worse long before she was called into this silly game...
ZZRRRP
...
Okay, the hell was that... and why do I feel so weak. And also like I'm on fire.
I get up and try to walk away, maybe find some help. I make it three steps before I collapse on the ground and everything goes dark.
⇒ the end, return to page 3
