When they arrived, Marcus opened the door to the house and Tomas somehow reluctantly stepped in. He diligently took off his shoes then headed for the living room, his movements tense and automatic. Marcus paused, making a quick detour to the kitchen. While he grabbed a bottle of water, he sent a quick text to Olivia letting her know he found Tomas and that he is alright. Pocketing the phone, Marcus headed back to the living room. He felt like he could use a shot of something strong but knew he needed a clear head for what was to come.
Tomas was sitting in the middle of the couch, looking like he saw death itself. Marcus sat down next to him and offered him the bottle of water. He was dismayed by the flinch he got in return as Tomas realized his proximity. Gritting his teeth with desperation, Marcus waited until Tomas opened the bottle with shaky hands and took a small sip of water, but when he cast a careful look towards Marcus, he had enough.
„Talk to me, Tomas." Marcus pleaded. „Why are you scared of me? I would never hurt you."
„You're an exorcist," Tomas said, eyes wide and scared, desperate.
„I was. And yes, Gabriel was possessed. I know it had to be horrible to watch what happened. I was there... I know. And I'm sorry. But you don't have to fear me, Tomas. I swear on my life. I would never hurt you." Marcus repeated and thought he would repeat it till the end of times if needed. But Tomas shook his head, the lost look in his eyes too similar to what Marcus saw in the mirror at St. Aquinas, before Peter pulled him back.
„I... I was reading about possession... about exorcism. I... I wanted to know...if... if I was possessed. But I'm not, I swear!" Tomas looked at Marcus, his eyes pleading with him to believe him. „I went to the church, I drank the holy water and nothing happened! I never let them inside... not once!" Tomas started babbling, pleading with Marcus incomprehensibly and Marcus froze, his blood running cold.
„What are you talking about? Who?" he asked and his own voice sounded far away, cold and detached. Tomas sniffled, eyes teary and unfocused.
„The shadows. The voices. I... I can feel them scratching at my mind... trying to get in. But I never let them! I swear! I will never let them get that close... I swear on my life. I don't want to die like Gabriel!" Tomas sobbed and Marcus couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled Tomas into a hug, ignoring the initial flinch and started rocking him gently. He didn't even realize when tears started running down his own face.
„My god Tomas, you're not possessed, of course I know that!" He said as Tomas's head burrowed in his chest and the boy returned the embrace, suddenly clinging to him with all might.
„But... I'm hearing voices ... and I can see the demons... it's like a shadow, dark and scary, latched onto some people. I thought... I thought it was just me... that I'm crazy, that all those dreams were just dreams, but... but if Gabriel was real, then all those other things might've been real too and by god, Marcus... all those people, they suffered horribly! They died and they murdered and I didn't stop it... I couldn't stop any of it and it's all my fault and I don't want to die that way!"
Tomas gave a choked sob and Marcus felt his heart breaking in two once again. He didn't want to release his hold, but something Tomas said made him pause, his whole body going stiff. Marcus pulled back a bit, both arms holding Tomas's shoulders, then he gave him an imploring look.
„What other people? Tomas, what are you talking about?" Marcus asked, his own voice shaking.
„The d-dreams. I had so many of them..." Tomas was trembling and his face blanched as his eyes got that lost look again. Suddenly he bolted from the couch and ran towards the bathroom. Marcus cursed and once again followed him. The speed was useless; it wasn't like Tomas had anything left to bring up except for the sip of water. Marcus still rubbed his back, muttered soothing words and handed him a wet towel when Tomas's body slid down to the floor, spent and exhausted. Marcus sat down next to him on the cold bathroom floor and pulled Tomas into an embrace. They didn't move, except for Marcus's hand rubbing Tomas's shoulder, until the boy finally found his voice.
"I didn't know it was real... that any of that was real," Tomas said feverishly and Marcus shook his head.
„Maybe it wasn't," he tried but Tomas shook his head, then burrowed it in Marcus's chest.
„It was the same... it's always the same." He muttered and Marcus had to strain to hear, to understand.
"What is the same, Tomas?" Marcus gently nudged. There was a momentary silence, then a hitched sob.
"I'm doing something and everything goes white... then I hear voices, see images flash in front of my eyes. Sometimes... sometimes I catch them right then... sometimes I remember in a dream, when I sleep. But it's always someone dying or someone killing... there's always darkness and pain. And I thought it was just a nightmare, but then I saw your scar and it happened. Everything happened."
Marcus didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to ask what were those other dreams about, but the boy in his arms was trembling and terrified and all Marcus could do was hold him and offer comfort. That was how Peter found them some time later, still huddled together on the bathroom floor. Peter froze in the door, seeing Tomas's shaking form. The boy's head pushed against Marcus's chest kept slipping as his eyes were falling close, but within few seconds he jerked awake, blinking wildly.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked in a hushed tone, seeing that Marcus didn't look that much better than Tomas himself. Still, there was relief in his eyes when Peter arrived, as if his presence gave him strength to move. Marcus mouthed 'later' at Peter then nudged Tomas.
"Come on, let's get you to bed."
Tomas's eyes popped open once again and he looked around dazedly, finally taking in Peter's presence. Despite that, he stubbornly shook his head.
"No quiero dormir," Tomas muttered sluggishly and Peter frowned. He squatted down next to the teen, running a hand over his forehead and cheeks, checking for fever, looking at the half open eyes red from exhaustion and the dark smudges underneath. He noted the dry, flushed skin and exchanged a concerned look with Marcus.
"When's the last time you got any decent sleep?" Peter asked, finger tapping at Tomas's chin to get a response.
"I kept seeing Gabriel," Tomas muttered and Peter's eyes went wide. He shot a quick look at Marcus but his lover didn't seem the least bit surprised. He knew there was a talk in their near future, but right now they needed to take care of Tomas.
"I think he hasn't really slept since he was here last time," Marcus was the one who answered Peter's original question.
"That's four days!" Peter exclaimed and Tomas startled at the sound.
„Okay, bed, now!" Peter said resolutely, his voice breaking no argument.
„Please, I don't want to dream," Tomas started pleading but Peter shook his head.
„Sorry kid, but you really can't go without sleep. You'll only feel worse the longer this goes on."
Peter knew what he was talking about; he suffered from plenty of nightmares when he came back from the tour in Afghanistan. He tried everything... from alcohol, sleeping pills, up to not sleeping at all. The last being the worst solution, as after several days the hallucinations came and they were just as bad if not worse than the nightmares. What was worse, they felt much more real and never-ending... inescapable. Peter wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy, and he definitely wasn't about to let Tomas experience that.
"Come on," he said and with Marcus's help he dragged Tomas up the stairs, to the guest room. The boy seemed to balk at the sight of the bed, but Peter could be just as stubborn as the teenager. He felt like the bad cop as he maneuvered the protesting kid to bed, while Marcus was trying to play the good cop and kept reassuring the boy he was safe and there would be no nightmares. Tomas finally relented, probably more from physical exhaustion than anything else. He slumped down in the bed, but he clammed up, sulking. He looked determined to stay awake. Peter ran a hand over his hair, sighing. Marcus settled next to Tomas, leaning against the headboard, long legs stretched out on top of the covers, while Tomas was lying on his side with his back to Marcus, mulishly looking at the window, jerking awake every time his eyes slipped closed for more than a few seconds.
"You can't stay awake forever, Tomas," Marcus spoke softly, his hand gently running over Tomas's hair in a soothing manner. Peter suppressed a snort when he saw Tomas at the same time lean into the touch yearningly, while also grimacing and looking like an angry teenager he was, offended at being treated like a kid.
"I can try," he said back, earning a sigh from Marcus, who then shot a pleading look towards Peter.
"I'm thirsty. Do you want something to drink?" Peter asked, receiving a shrug from both forms on the bed. He rolled his eyes and left the room. Few minutes later he came back with three mugs of hot chocolate. He handed one to Marcus, shaking his head when Marcus reached for a different mug. Frowning, Marcus mouthed a silent 'What?'
Peter mouthed back 'Sleeping pill' and pointed out the mug that wasn't tampered with. Marcus looked a bit uncertain so Peter just gave him the 'trust me' look.
"Hey kid, do you fancy some hot chocolate?" Marcus took the mug for Tomas and waved it in front of his nose. He wasn't sure whether the boy felt up for anything, not after being sick. But the smell must've been enticing, or maybe Tomas just wanted to chase away the bad taste in his mouth. He stirred and sat up, eyeing the mug with the hot chocolate with some suspicion.
Peter made a point of sipping from his own mug and Marcus took a whiff of his own, putting on a satisfied smile.
"Ah, hot chocolate. Nothing better for the soul. I remember that was the only thing the nuns did real well in the boy's home... well, hot chocolate and the ear clipping," Marcus rubbed at his ear in mock pain and Tomas looked at him with slight confusion, but also somehow interested at the change of topic. Marcus smirked and sipped from his mug and Tomas did the same, his hands curling around the hot mug with appreciation of the heat seeping into cold hands.
"Yeah... I remember nun Anastasia I think... she was very fond of clipping ears any time we as much as blinked the wrong way. She was also a real menace with the ruler..." Marcus got lost in the memory, recounting a story about a whole group of the boys being caught up in the hall after curfew and the repercussion of it.
"We couldn't sit properly for a week I think... and we would have gotten our revenge if not for one thing. Nun Anastasia made the damn best hot chocolate in the world and she made sure we all got our share every weekend."
"Mhm... still not fair," Tomas mumbled, pointing to the fact Marcus was subjected to corporal punishment even though he didn't do anything wrong, or well, didn't get a chance.
"Yeah, that's life," Marcus said in a low tone and watched as Tomas eyes slipped closed, his head lulling a bit. This time his eyes didn't pop open and Marcus readily caught the mostly empty mug before it could slip from suddenly lax fingers. He put the mug away and both Marcus and Peter waited several minutes, unmoving and silent, just watching as Tomas's body sank into the bed, finally giving in to the exhaustion.
„Does Olivia know he's here?" Peter asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Marcus, hand on his partner's leg.
Marcus nodded and pulled the covers higher up to cover Tomas's shoulders, effectively tucking him in.
"Was the sleeping pill necessary? He was throwing up before... I don't want him drugged up."
Peter grimaced. Yeah, the situation wasn't ideal, but Tomas looked like he needed a break.
"It wasn't a strong pill and I gave him a small dose. He should be okay. I'm not sure it's even the pill that worked, he was out fast. Don't worry, love." Peter leaned over and put a kiss on Marcus's forehead, then let his head rest there, their foreheads touching.
„This is more than just nightmares, right?" he asked after a moment, pulling away.
„Much more," Marcus sighed and rubbed at his eyes wearily. „I don't know what's going on Peter... but if everything he said is true... there is trouble brewing and he will need all the help we can give. Probably more."
Peter nodded.
„All you have to do is ask. I'll help however I can."
„Thank you love."
„I'll go make us something to eat. Stay with him till then, okay?"
Marcus nodded. They both knew he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
For a while it looked like the sleeping pill did its work. Tomas was lying motionless in the bed, his breathing slow and easy. He didn't even stir when Marcus moved out of the bed, to change into something more comfortable and to eat the grilled cheese Peter brought him. Once he was sure that Tomas was indeed sleeping and getting some much needed rest, Marcus slipped out of the room and gave a quick call to Olivia to reassure her her kid brother was alright. Well, as alright as one could be when having to deal with all the things Tomas did. Marcus's mind was still reeling over the fact Tomas actually saw his nightmare, that the kid was witness to something so horrible.
With a sigh, Marcus leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, the only thing on his mind a loud, screaming question of 'Why? Why God did you allow that? What is your plan?'
But as it was usual ever since Gabriel's passing, God didn't answer. Marcus felt a light caress of air on his cheek, but that wasn't God. That was Peter, standing next to him, bumping shoulders and a question in his eyes.
"Are you alright?" Peter asked softly and Marcus couldn't love him more than he did. There was so much emotion in the other man's eyes, so much compassion and will to fight, to protect. Marcus let out a weary sigh and gave his partner a soft smile in return.
"I am better than Tomas, that's for sure. Is he still sleeping?"
Peter nodded.
"He's getting a bit restless though. Not sure the pill stopped him from dreaming." Peter looked apologetic and Marcus shook his head.
"Maybe it's better that way. He can't keep running from dreams." Marcus pushed away from the wall. "But he doesn't have to deal with them alone."
Peter nodded, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a fond smile.
"Anything you want to spend the time?"
"I think I'll get some papers I need to grade. I have a feeling it'll be a long night... better use it well."
Several hours later, Marcus was lightly dozing on a chair, his long legs stretched out on the edge of the bed. There was a bunch of papers on the floor and several sketches. Peter was back in the bedroom, seeing as he still needed to get up for work the next morning. The house was silent, until suddenly it wasn't.
Tomas started moaning in his sleep and tossing around restlessly, the blanket tangling up around his feet just trapping him deeper inside the dream. He kicked, trying to get free, to run away from the unseen terror and in the process managed to dig his heel forcefully into Marcus's shin.
Marcus woke from his doze with a startle, taking a moment to realize what woke him and why he was sitting in a chair instead of his bed. For a second all he saw was a sweaty face of a boy, scrunched up in pain and fear and he was back in Mexico with Gabriel, back in England with Joseph and Ira and all the other people he kept vigil for during their worst hours. The boy on the bed moved though and the light shone on his face.
"Tomas," Marcus breathed out, running one hand over his face, trying to push back the sleep and his own nightmares. He leaned over and put a gentle hand on Tomas's arm, shaking it slightly. "Tomas, wake up. It's just a dream."
Tomas came to with a gasp and instinctively jerked away from the touch, scrambling back. Marcus raised both his hands, trying to look as unthreatening as possible.
"Hey, it's okay. It's me. You're safe." Marcus kept up the reassurances until Tomas's eyes cleared a bit and the boy relaxed, his face turning crimson.
"Sorry," Tomas muttered and shook his head. "I thought... I thought you're someone else."
"Anyone I know?" Marcus asked, already feeling anger towards whomever was the cause of such fear.
"No... I don't think so," Tomas frowned, just the idea that Marcus could know father Simon, a man filled with so much darkness, made his skin crawl. He shuddered and Marcus seemed to note, because he grabbed the blanket that was crumpled at the foot of the bed and pulled it up, throwing it over Tomas's legs. The boy looked at him with something between surprise and incredulity and Marcus wished he could've taken a photo, because in that moment Tomas looked just like any other teenager doubting the sanity of their elders.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"About what?" Tomas hedged, his fingers playing with the edge of the blanket. Marcus shrugged.
"The nightmare. Or any of the things you said before. We will eventually have to talk about those."
Tomas worried at his bottom lip, thinking through what he should say and what not.
"Maybe I shouldn't have said any of those things." Tomas looked away, hoping that Marcus would just forget and keep pretending everything was normal, that he wasn't just some freak. But Marcus obviously had enough. He reached out, cupping Tomas's chin in his hand and making sure he had his undivided attention.
"I think it's high time to stop playing around, Tomas. This... whatever is happening is clearly hurting you. I want to help you... I know I can help you, but first I need to know what's really going on."
Tomas looked into the blue eyes and seemed to come to a decision. After all, the cat was already out of the bag. Marcus was an exorcist, he said so himself. If he wanted to ask the question, there was no better person.
"Do you think I... might be possessed?" Tomas asked in a shaky voice. Even though he knew the answer already, he needed confirmation. Marcus resolutely shook his head and his own voice cracked.
„No, Tomas. I've seen my fair share of possessed people and trust me, you're not one of them."
Tomas let out a shaky breath.
„What about the voices? The shadows?"
„I don't know," Marcus admitted. „You haven't told me much about them. Why don't we start with that?"
Tomas nodded then licked his dry lips. Marcus noticed the gesture and poured him a glass of water from the jug Peter had brought before going to bed. Tomas took the glass thankfully sipping the water, looking for all the world like someone who'd rather be somewhere else. Marcus gave him a moment to put his thoughts together but when Tomas didn't start talking, Marcus decided he would have to make the first step.
"Do you hear voices all the time?"
Tomas gave a small shake of his head.
„No, just... during the fits. Or when I am too close to someone with the shadow."
„What are they saying?"
„I mostly don't understand. It's just... taunting, whispering... feels like they're scratching at the back of my head, trying to get in," Tomas grimaced, his free hand reaching at the back of his neck but pausing mid air and falling back into his lap. Marcus reached out, putting his own hand at the nape of Tomas's neck, running it soothingly up and down and he was relieved when Tomas leaned into the touch instead of jerking away in fear.
"Do you hear them now?"
"No," Tomas quickly shook his head. "Not in this house, not when you're around. Except..." Tomas frowned, his face paling a bit.
"Except what?"
Tomas bit his lip, his whole body trembling and Marcus could see he was working himself up, his eyes lost in the distance.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm here," Marcus said, moving to sit on the bed next to Tomas, one arm looped around his shoulder, rubbing it gently. "Talk to me, Tomas. When did you hear the voices?"
"At school... Friday."
"During the fit?"
"It... it isn't a fit, I don't think so. Not anymore."
Marcus nodded slightly. He also didn't think what was happening to Tomas were seizures. More like visions, but he wanted Tomas to try and explain it himself first, before jumping to conclusions.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because... I remember the things I see and... after Gabriel-" Tomas swallowed, his body shaking harder and Marcus pulled him close, dragging the blanket a bit higher. "I saw it. I saw what happened on the news and it was all real... those nightmares, those terrible things." Tomas sobbed, burying his head in Marcus shoulder. "All the blood Marcus... there was a boy... not much older than me and they killed him with a knife, cut his throat and ripped his heart out of his chest as if it was a piece of meat..."
Marcus blanched at the description, because he also saw it on the news, the massacre of several families all at once. Just the thought of Tomas witnessing it firsthand made him sick to his stomach. No wonder the boy looked like he hasn't eaten in weeks... if he was having flashbacks to those murders, he probably couldn't keep anything down.
"Oh Tomas," Marcus sighed and put a light kiss on top of that dark mop of hair as Tomas clung to him. "I'm so sorry." Marcus whispered. "Sorry that you have to see those things, sorry that you had to go so long without being able to tell anyone," he explained when Tomas looked at him with confusion.
"Not your fault," Tomas muttered and it was clear he was trying to pull himself together. He didn't want pity, especially not from Marcus.
"Can you tell me a bit more? About the things you've seen?"
Tomas fidgeted in Marcus's arms a bit.
"Maybe a bit... later? I... I really don't want to think about them right now."
Marcus nodded, although he knew that time might be of essence, but he couldn't pressure the kid, not when he was barely holding it together as it was. Tomas must've read his thoughts however, because he straightened a bit and pulled away.
"I can show you," he explained softly and looked around the room, but came up empty. "Where's my bag?" he asked a bit nervously.
"I think it's downstairs."
"Oh. I... there's a notebook. When I figured out it might all... be true... I wrote everything down."
"What do you mean everything?" Marcus frowned. "Every vision you had?"
This time it was Tomas who frowned.
"Is that what this is? Visions?"
Marcus grimaced but then nodded.
"I think so. As good a name for it as any."
Tomas thought about it then gave a small nod.
„Yeah, I suppose." He lay back down a bit reluctantly, but didn't protest when Marcus looped an arm around him once again. It seemed like contact was helping him stay calm at least.
"I'll take a look at the notebook a bit later then we can talk about what's in it. Sounds okay to you?" Marcus asked, getting a shrug in reply.
"Do you want to go back to sleep?"
"No." Tomas's answer came quickly. "Can we just... stay awake for a bit?"
Marcus bit back a yawn and nodded.
"Of course. But if we won't keep talking, I might fall asleep on you pretty soon," he warned. Tomas looked ready to apologize once again, but Marcus continued.
"We don't have to talk about the visions right now. But I'd like to know more about those shadows you kept mentioning."
Tomas shuddered a bit.
"It's more like... inky darkness," he started and his voice was so soft Marcus had to strain his hearing. "It's sitting on the shoulders of some people. When they come close, I can hear the darkness whispering... can see the words like tendrils, reaching into people's ears... infecting them with anger and fear."
Marcus felt a chill come over him as he listened to Tomas's description of a demon and he subconsciously pulled him closer, trying to keep him safe from the images his own mind was portraying.
"How often do you see them?" he managed to choke out through tight throat.
Tomas didn't answer the question, as if he was too lost in his own mind.
"I used to see them in Mexico too, but... there were less of them. Or I wasn't really looking, I don't know." Tomas shrugged a bit and Marcus was dismayed at how normal his voice was. It sounded as if the kid was used to the demons being part of his life now and it was a scary thought indeed.
"It's different here, in Chicago. There's... too many of them and they look stronger... bigger."
"Do they-" Marcus had to wet hit lips, wishing for the glass of water but unwilling to relinquish his position. He cleared his throat. "Do they see you too?"
There was silence and then Tomas hesitantly spoke.
"I don't know. Sometimes... sometimes I think they can," he whispered. "Sometimes they try to talk to me too."
And if that wasn't a thought that scared the hell out of Marcus.
"What are they trying to tell you?" he asked, unsure if he really wanted an answer.
"They're just taunting me... saying things that hurt." Tomas shrugged. "I stopped listening to them a long time ago."
"Good, that's good," Marcus rubbed Tomas's shoulder, as much for his own comfort as for the kid's. "Never listen to a demon, Tomas. They always lie."
Tomas didn't say anything to that.
"They do, Tomas. They may try to wrap the lies in a bit of a truth, but it is still a lie. They just want to play at your fears, insecurities and they'll use anything to get inside. Trust me, I know this." Marcus said emphatically, wanting to make sure Tomas knew. Just the idea of the kid believing some of the things the demons could say and drag up was terrifying to Marcus.
"Don't worry, I don't let them speak that long," Tomas said, obviously trying to calm Marcus down. He would've snorted at the irony but the words made him frown.
"How do you mean?"
"I push them away. Those people usually leave, before they come too close."
"Push them away? How?" Marcus thought in wonder.
"I just do. They don't like it, so they leave. I... sometimes I get the fits later. I think... it's their revenge."
The last thing wasn't encouraging at all. It opened a can of worms with thoughts about who was giving Tomas the visions at all and why. But there were other questions running through Marcus's head as well.
Was there maybe a way to get rid of the demons before they could possess the person? Before they could integrate? With Tomas's talent of seeing them, an exorcist could do so much more, skip all the time needed for research and gathering evidence...
Marcus suddenly stopped his train of thoughts, his face blushing a bit in shame when he realized what he was doing. He thought of how to use Tomas's gift... and he was disgusted with himself. How could he even entertain the thought? Shaking his head and already asking God for forgiveness, he pushed those thoughts away.
Some of them might've appeared on his face though, seeing as Tomas was looking up at him a bit warily. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked in serious need of more sleep and food, but Marcus knew it wouldn't be easy to convince him of either.
„Don't ever trust them, Tomas. Whatever those things say, don't let them in." Marcus said and Tomas put his head down with a weary sigh that belied his youth.
"I'm trying to keep them away, but it's getting so much harder. I'm just... so tired all the time."
Marcus felt for him, he really did. He knew the weariness, fought it for over a year after Gabriel died... fought it at the boys' home before the church bought him like a piece of meat and God saved him from the fate of the forgotten. He didn't want the same for Tomas.
"You want to try and get some rest?" he asked softly, seeing that Tomas's eyes were already slipping closed, but the boy shook his head, unwilling to get lost in nightmares again.
"No, please."
Marcus ruffled the dark hair with a sigh of his own.
"Okay, a bit longer then."
Marcus thought about all that Tomas said, about his reaction at the school.
"Tomas?" he asked after a moment, unsure if the boy hasn't fallen asleep after all.
"Mhm?"
"You say you see the shadows on strangers... did you... did you ever see it on someone you knew? Are there any such people at school?"
Tomas stiffened a bit.
"We used to have a neighbor... back when I was small. He was... he was not a good man, but no one else knew. I saw the shadow on his shoulder; saw it getting darker and bigger each day, until... until he did something really bad."
Marcus didn't dare to interrupt, but he felt fear and rage crawl in his gut.
"Did he hurt you?"
Tomas looked up, surprised to hear the worry and the rage on his behalf.
"No... I kept far away from him. He hurt his girlfriend I think. I don't remember the details, just that one day the police came and took him away. The girlfriend... her colors changed. She was never the same again." There was regret and guilt mixing in his voice and Marcus felt sorry for the girl but felt relief upon learning Tomas wasn't hurt.
"What do you mean by colors? Did she have a shadow too?" Marcus was getting a bit confused. Tomas nervously fidgeted on the bed, as if trying to decide whether he should continue or not.
"Tomas?" Marcus nudged him gently. "I think you mentioned something about colors earlier, in the car. Are they part of your visions?"
Tomas bit his lip.
"No. I... I see the colors all the time. It's... normal." Tomas shrugged. "At least I thought so as a kid. Then Abuela told me normal people don't see them, so I knew I was a freak."
"Stop it. What did I say about that word?"
"Not to use it," Tomas rolled his eyes.
"I doubt your Abuela would've called you a freak."
"No, of course not. She wasn't like that," Tomas quickly protested, seeming offended even just by the idea. Though his answer hinted that other people weren't so judicious. After all, Tomas must've heard that word somewhere plenty of times to get it so fixated.
"Can you explain those colors to me?"
„Everyone has a color. Most are light or neutral... some are dull, some dark. They show who the person is..." Tomas worried at the edge of the blanket then looked at Marcus. „They help me judge the person's mood, help me stay away from bad people."
Marcus took that information in, somehow in awe. He heard of people who could see auras, but he put it down as a scam. This was the first time he was inclined to believe someone.
"I know you have doubts," Tomas said a bit sheepishly, though the corner of his lips lifted in a smile. "Your colors start swirling. It's... okay. You don't have to believe me. I don't mind the colors at all."
Marcus shook his head quickly, wanting to make sure Tomas listened to him.
"No, I'm just... taking it all in."
"So... you don't think I'm a liar then?" Tomas raised an eyebrow and now it was Marcus who felt like under a microscope.
Tomas frowned a bit then there was a look of surprise on his face. "You don't."
"Of course I don't," Marcus replied a bit snappishly. He was just starting to think what this all meant, what was it supposed to mean and oh dear God how should he even deal with someone who was as good as a lie detector? But then there was another thought that struck him as lightning and Marcus froze. Tomas sensed the change of mood and tensed as well.
"What's wrong?" the boy asked quietly and Marcus had to force himself to relax, to think this through.
"What... what about me, Tomas? Do you see something... dark on me?" he finally asked, his voice croaky, throat too dry. He expected Tomas to give him a deep look and maybe pull away. Instead there was a genuine smile on the boy's face and his hand reached for Marcus's own, tracing the line of the tattoo on his wrist.
"Most people are just grey or light," Tomas spoke, his trailing finger pausing at the bracelet Marcus wore, the one with the medal. "You... you're shining..." Tomas swallowed then looked into Marcus's eyes. "...as if God himself touched you."
Marcus didn't know what to say. For a moment he wasn't sure he knew how to breathe, his eyes locked with the warm brown of Tomas. There was no hint of a lie in them, only truth and something akin to adoration. It scared the hell out of Marcus.
"That's why I wasn't afraid of you when we first met. I... I thought I'll go blind for a second," Tomas chuckled, remembering wishing he could wear sunglasses in the class. "That's what makes me feel safe here. The shadows... they don't like your light."
"Oh." Marcus was still struggling to find the right words, to get a handle on the sudden swell of emotions. Because here was a boy seeing demons, yet he didn't see the stain on his soul caused by one. All he saw was God's touch... and Marcus wondered if Tomas saw that, could God still be with him? Didn't he lose him forever after Gabriel?
It was all too much to take in and Marcus wanted to go down to the kitchen, get a stiff drink and think... or just cuddle next to Peter and try to make sense of all of it. But Tomas was still looking at him, now with some sadness and a level of distance and Marcus realized the boy was expecting him to leave, to just get up and leave him in the room alone with his own nightmares and demons. Well, Marcus wasn't about to do that. He cleared his throat and moved a pillow behind his back to a more comfortable position.
"Thank you," Marcus said and gave Tomas a small smile. "I think I needed to hear that."
Tomas looked a bit surprised at the answer and the fact Marcus was still there, by his side and Marcus felt a pang of anger at all the people who dared to abandon this boy.
„I'm not leaving, Tomas," he spoke and made sure Tomas was looking at him. "You're not alone in this and we will figure it out. Together. Yes?"
Tomas's face at first showed doubt and disbelief, but he must've sensed that Marcus meant every word, because his eyes softened and he gave an accepting nod, his lips turning up in a grateful smile.
"Thank you," he whispered even as he lay back down. He finally felt safe enough to go back to sleep.
'No need to thank me kid,' Marcus thought even as he absentmindedly ran his fingers over Tomas's scalp to help him relax. 'I don't know how much help I can be, but I'll do everything in my power, I promise.'
