Hello and welcome to another Destiel story! I've been searching the web for every story that had Destiel adopting a child, and I got to be honest, I haven't found as many as I thought. So I figured why not write one? It will be short and sweet, about 3 chapters with an epilogue! Also, this story will feature Charlie, because we all love her and miss her! It's also from the P.O.V of Dean and Cas, which is something I don't see to often, which is why I decided to do it!
If you know of any fics about Destiel adopting a child, please let me know, I'd love to read them! Thanks and enjoy!
R&R please!
Chapter 1
Dean's P.O.V
I pushed open the door to the bunker, my arms shaking weakly. My eyelids threatened to shut as exhaustion overwhelmed my body. I closed the door softly, not wanting to wake the household.
Tugging off my snow covered jacket and tossing down my dufflel, I crept through the house. I rubbed my numb hands over my face, trying to keep from collapsing. Without a seconds hesitation and I opened my bedroom door, and kicked off my shoes. Snow chunks stuck to the bottom melted into puddles on the floors. I would hear it from Cas in the morning, but I didn't care.
I pulled off my jeans and replaced them with my blue sweat pants. I ran a hand through my frozen hair and sighed at my welcoming bed. The layers of blankets waiting for me. I glanced at the clock. 2:36.
In the mess of heavy blankets, was Cas. Curled up on his side of the bed, tangled among the warmth. He loved blankets, even in the summer he had to have at least two. He despised the cold, and I could understand why.
I left my clothes on the floor, and crawled in next to him. I shivered, only being a pair of pajama pants. I slid underneath the blankets, tugging them to my chin and settled into my pillow. I could see Cas's face in the faint glow from the night light in the bathroom. He looked peaceful, half his face covered by his mess of hair. The creases in his face relaxed. I threw an arm around his torso, pulling myself closer.
I had been gone for over a week. And man, was it good to be home. I had been out on a hunting trip, just the normal vampire problem, nothing I couldn't handle. Sam had stayed behind, as he was still recovering from a nasty case of the flu. Cas too stayed... although I wasn't exactly sure why. He had been distant the last few weeks, like he had something on his mind. But he wouldn't tell me what was up. Every time I brought his mood up, he'd snap back and hurry off. And while I was worried -like any partner would be- I had decided that he would tell me in time.
I kicked out my leg, getting comfortable, my body slipping away into unconscious when I heard him stir.
"Mmm... Dean?" His voice was a gruff whisper.
"Yeah. It's me." I answered back. He scooted closer, sliding down so his head could be tucked under my chin. He loved the warmth of being in my arms. He didn't outwardly say it, but I could see it in his eyes and the way his breathing became so relaxed. And while I was more of an action man (if I do say so myself,) there was nothing like curling up with Cas. It was something no word could describe. So yeah... call it a chick moment. I gave up on giving a fuck a long time ago, because god dammit, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. Hell, I loved it.
... just... don't tell Sam.
He snaked an arm around my waist and took a deep breath. I breathed in his scent -cinnamon, for some odd reason- and kissed his wild hair. With that I slowly slipped away.
...
Light blinded my dreary eyes, the day censored light becoming brighter with the morning sun. I moved closer to the left trying to find Cas's warm body. I rolled over, until my face met the cold floor with a loud smack! My legs hung in the air, entangled in the blankets. My cheek burned as I lifted myself off the ground with a scowl. What a way to start the day!
I threw on an AC/DC shirt and stumbled down to the kitchen. Sam was sitting on the counter eating a banana, half listening to the morning news, half in his own thoughts. His forehead dripped with sweat.
"Hey. Get your sweaty ass off my kitchen counter!" I grunted. Sam looked up and gave a half smile and snorted.
"Nice to see you too." I continued to glare at him until he slid off the counter. He tossed his banana peel in the trash and flipped through the morning paper.
"How was the hunt?" Sam didn't look up as he scanned the newspaper for coupons.
"Eh. Routine hunt." I answered with a shrug. It really was. Most hunts these days were. I ran a hand through my spiked hair staring at the fridge debating what to eat.
"Where's Cas? When I woke up he was gone." Sam looked up for a split second, but glanced everywhere but at me. I slowly closed the fridge and turned towards him. He shifted his gaze back to the paper. "Sam?" He gulped dryly, shifting his weight against the island uncomfortably. I crossed my arms, a prick of panic rising up my neck. Shit. Something was wrong, and the worst part was I couldn't figure out what it was. And the fact that Sam was in on it scared me. Cas only kept secrets, if he thought he was protecting me.
"Sam!" I demanded, my temper beginning to escalate. He sighed and slapped down the paper. He looked at me and gave me that ridiculous look of 'don't make me speak.' Well, tough shit! I needed to know what was up with my other half!
"Look, man... I can tell you where he is, but you need to talk to him. You need to hear it from him." Sam voice became soft. My eyes widened and fear began to cloud my thoughts.
"He's at Bentley Park." Sam nodded towards the door. Why the fuck was he at the park?! I rushed towards the door, sliding on my boots and coat. I didn't need to think twice, something was up and it scared me. As much as I didn't want to admit that to myself, their was no denying it. Suddenly, i felt as if I was going to lose him. As if we were dangling by a thread. I gulped and slammed the door behind me.
...
I held my arms out for balance as the sidewalks were coated in a thin fresh powder. But the salt did nothing as it was too cold to melt. I entered Bentley Park, and was instantly hit with loud laughter and screams of thrill. I realized that it must have been a snow day for the schools, because every kid was out, building snowmen, sledding, and making snow angels.
I kept my head up, alert and ready for anything... accept approaching Cas. As much as I wanted to find him, I dreaded what was going to happen next. I mean my heart pounded through my chest and my stomach twisted with worry, but it would almost be better if I didn't hear words come out of his mouth... then... the most horrifying thought came to me.
What if he wanted to break up?
No! No, that wouldn't happen, right? I mean we weren't married, since I was technically dead. And Cas... he didn't exist in the eyes of the government. So we never officially married. He took my last name, since he didn't have one, and Bobby had thrown us a fake ceremony. It was just us saying vows and kissing by the fireplace, celebrated with pie and stolen fireworks after. I mean, we were happy together! I loved him, more than anything! And he felt the same... right? Oh god, now I felt sick. What if he had lost interest? What if he decided I was beneath him?
I was beneath him. I was broken. A piece of litter ready to be swept away by a rain storm. He was this intelligent, brave, and kind person who just happened to be an ex-angel, and all I was, was an alcoholic with a leather jacket. He deserved so much more. He deserved the world! And that's what scared me.
That's why I was so afraid to love him. Because almost everyone I've ever loved was gone. And I couldn't lose Cas.
There he was. Sitting on the far side of the park on a bench. His trench coat standing out in all the puffy jackets the kids wore. He sat still, watching the kids play a stoic expression plastered on his face. I could see a book resting in his lap, although I couldn't see the title. I crunched through the snow, my heart rate picking up with each step anxiously awaiting what he had to say. I came the pathway, paused... and sat down.
"Hi Cas." I spoke slowly, exhaling shakily -which the cold air made every evident as it hit my warm breath.- He hastily shoved his book under his coat. He didn't speak and refused to look at me, which hurt if I was being honest.
"...Dean." He answered back. Except it wasn't his usual gruff voice that made me smile... it sound like a harsh whisper.
"Sam told me where to find you." I stated plainly, hoping to get something out of him.
"I figured." Was his response. I wanted to smack him! He's been acting all weird for a month and this is how he speaks to me!?
"Cas... what's going on?" I almost demanded rather than questioned, my worry coming off as anger. He didn't speak for a moment, but took a deep breath. He looked conflicted. My heart skipped a beat.
"Do... do you love me?" I was dumbfounded by his question. What did he mean? Of course I did! My mind began to race to a thousand conclusions and all of them ending badly.
"Yes." I stated. I could barely huff out the one word.
"Did you mean it?"
"Did I mean what?!" Panic had hit my voice hard making it come out as a squeak. I furrowed my brows trying to read Cas's face. It was blank however. I gulped, fearing the worst. Did he really think I didn't love him? Was I that unresponsive in our relationship? I couldn't lose him! No, I wouldn't let this happen! I tried to calm myself down, but my head was already dizzy. I waited impatiently for his mouth to open. And how badly I didn't want him to speak either. I just wanted to kiss him and say it was okay. That I loved him. I wanted him to say that he loved me and this was all just a big misunderstanding.
"When we said that we would be together, until death do us part. And that, even then we'd be together. Did you mean it?" His eyes pleaded for an answer. They were wet with threatening tears. His face softened, watching my expression change.
"Cas, of course I meant it! I... Cas? What's this ab-"
"I want to have a child."
...
Castiel's P.O.V
I didn't want to blurt it out. I really didn't. But I had been off in my own world for a month thinking about this. I mean, I so badly wanted to talk to Dean about this... but I was afraid. And every time he tried to bring up my scowl, I did everything I could to shove it all away. But the thought came rushing back. At first I thought it was just an idea, one that would pass by in a day or so.
But then it became a dream. Like I needed it. But who was I to judge my emotions. I was not very good at it. Understanding humans was hard enough, which gave me another problem. I could barely understand the difference between being too full, or the need to vomit. So naturally, I pushed the idea of having a child away.
I wouldn't be a good parent. I wouldn't know the first thing about it. They were completely unpredictable. The whole situation was unpredictable, -I know, I had looked up how adoption worked.-
But I knew Dean. He would be an amazing father. One that taught the kid to work hard, but have fun. To be kind and funny, but know when to be serious. I had no doubt in my mind that he would be the best father in the world. But I?... I was nothing but a man. I wasn't much help to anyone, and that's why I didn't talk to Dean.
I loved him. But I was afraid. I was nothing compared to him, and the thought of him leaving me was hidden in the back of my head the more I thought about this. Because he deserved so much more. So I had to make sure. I didn't even know if he wanted a kid. I knew he didn't want them to be dragged into the hunters life. Which caused a dilemma.
"...Dean?... say something." I fiddled with the edge of my trench coat, but careful not to look at Dean's face, his expression often said everything before he would even speak.
"...I..." Dean choked out. With all my strength I continued to look down.
"Cas? Is... Is this what you've been all... secretive about?" His voice was a hushed whisper with so much emotion behind it. I slowly began to lift my head with a slight nod. As soon as my eyes met his, my heart slammed against my rib cage. He must've caught how worked up about it I was.
He pulled his hands from his pockets and interlaced our fingers.
"Cas. You know you didn't need to keep this from me. I... You are my world Cas. And..." He gulped. I could tell he was nervous, like something was nagging at him. But not a pesky poke... like several stabs to the chest.
"I want that too." I lifted my head. My heart became to pump harder and my stomach got that weird floaty feeling that made me giddy. His words meant one thing though. His eyes told another.
Fear. He was afraid and I wasn't sure if I was going to get an explanation from him. I assumed he was afraid that he wasn't good enough. For me, for a kid. Not on my watch.
Dean sucked in a shaky breath and I could sense the 'but' coming.
"But... I. I'm not good with kids. I... there's just... I-I wouldn't, I can't. I just couldn't let them live our lives. We- I wouldn't be doing them any favor... I'd just be-" Oh I wanted to smack him! Talking like he was nothing again! I was going to shut him up.
I grasped his face in my hands. I stared at him, trying to catch his gaze.
"Don't you dare. Don't say that you are nothing. Because you're not! Not to Sam. Most certainly not to me, and not to any person part of this family." I watched the tears gather in his eyes and I could almost feel his pulse as it beat unhealthily fast.
"Cas... I." I shook my head. I leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. His lip quivered slightly.
"You are not alone on this feeling. There is a lot to talk about. But please, can we talk about it?" I waited, searching for the answer in his emerald eyes. "For me?" I whispered. I know that would break him. It always did, and while I didn't want to play that card, it sometimes was the only thing to get through his thick head. The self hatred and trust issues had built a wall in his mind, and it took a lot to get through it. But I was his guardian. And he was the most important person in my life. And it was my job to make sure he wasn't that piece of litter. No. He was the light. The light that flickered even when all that surrounded was darkness.
He nodded.
Thanks for reading! Until next time,
-Daisy
