Heyo! Welcome to chapter two! Let's get right into it! I am sticking with the P.O.V just because i feel it is important to know how the characters are reacting. Let me know if for chapter 3, who want Sam and Charlie's P.O.V with possibly meeting the new family addition!
R&R
Chapter 2
Dean's P.O.V
11 Months Later...
"No! I refuse to name a child Violet! It's not badass!"
"Well I find it quite pretty. How about Rose?"
"Cas! What's with the flowers? I refuse. The names beneath me!"
"Any name that's not Dean Jr. is beneath you!"
"Damn straight." I stomped my foot and scoffed in irritation. Cas slapped a hand over his face completely exasperated with me. I was being difficult, I knew that, but I was not naming my child after some delicate flower. No way! Like I said, it wasn't badass! He groaned, glancing at the mountain of baby name books scattered on the coffee table. -And I mean they were piling. He must've gotten every book in the library.- I folded my arms stubbornly.
I watched as he picked up another book. His eyes scanned the page furiously but rejecting each name he came across. His nose scrunched at the hideous ones, and shrugged on the ones that seemed to be compatible. On a white board, normally used for hunting research now had a list -a very short list I may add- of boy and girl names. The whole process was exhausting. Castiel and I were on the look out for a kid. So far... no such luck.
Since we couldn't go to an adoption agency -for the obvious reasons- we had asked our contacts to look out and see if they found a kid whose parents were dead... from monsters. Aweful I know, but it was the only way. And while I of course didn't wish any child to be taken from their parents as I had been, it was the only possible way to get a child in our position. Speaking of, I was still unsure about this. I mean the more we talked, the more I wanted a child. It was like a little dream that softened the nightmares. However, I knew how dreams ended in this life. But maybe... justness maybe things would start to look up, with the chance of adopting a kid.
However this was hard to come by. Normally, in these situations we'd drop the orphan at the hospital or a police station and make up some phony ass story, as a way to explain why the child was "momless." The chance of ever getting a kid this way was incredibly low, but we had hope.
And we had names... not very many however. Cas seemed to have read every parenting book, every name book, and every mom blog out there. He was trying. He was trying hard to get this all right.
"Dude. You've already read through that one." I pointed out. He slapped the book to the ground and stood up, pacing the floor.
"Ugh! Nothing seems to work! It's either too girly, or too common, or Dean Jr!" He scowled, throwing his arms up in the air in frustration. Stomping back and forth, he eyed the short name list angrily. He paused, his knuckles clenched until they were white. Startled by this, I jumped from my seat and grabbed his wrists, trying to keep him from chucking another book, or punching the white board.
"Hey, Cas. I was just messing with you about Dean Jr. Look, the stress is getting to you. Let's take a break, Okay? We'll figure it out. We always do." I sucked in a hesitant breath, not exactly sure what to say. He looked at me and nodded, but bit down on his lip.
"Thank you Dean. I. I lost my head." I snorted, receiving a deserved glare from him. I let go of his hands, almost 90% sure he wasn't going to throw anything.
"Let's go over the list again?" Her sighed. Did he not just hear what I had said? It's like I was mute sometimes! I huffed in protest, but he again ignored me. I pursed my lips at him. Oh two could play that game! I thought of some snarky retort, but tried to let it go. It was no use. Arguing would only lead to him blowing up. And that was the last thing I needed right now. So I focused in on the names again. Here's what we had so far:
Boys: James. Will. Josh.
Girls: Adeline.
Cas scanned the board and grunted. He was silent as he ran a hand through his hair. It was already spiked up from doing this, but it only made it worse, tugging at it. I watched him sadly. I hated seeing him so torn up about this. He just wanted something to go right! So caught up in having every thing perfect! The name to him had to be more than perfect.
I wanted this too, but not like this! Not if it would cause Cas to go into this crazed stress. It was gnawing at him. The chewed up marker cap, caught in his grinding teeth. I wanted the name to be right too! Couldn't he see that? But something nagged at me. Like none of these names were right. Of course, I wouldn't mention this to Cas right now. He was worked up enough as it was.
"Hey. How's the name game going?" Shouted Sam from the kitchen. I could hear him coming in loudly, banging groceries around.
"Just fantastic!" I hollered back sarcastically. Cas threw me a glare and pointed to the board to make clear to me that it was NOT going fantastic. I gave him the 'no shit sherlock' look. Although it came as more of one of Sam bitchfaces. Sam banged around in the kitchen some more, before coming into the living area.
"Well. I've brought reinforcements!" I looked up and grinned as he held up beers in between his fingers. He smiled, blowing hair out of his face. I then heard a familiar laugh and turned to the redhead behind him. Cas glanced at her with relief even if he didn't smile. His face was still contorted, throwing a killer look at the list.
"Hey Charlie!" I grinned as she tossed me a beer. Cas eyed me, trying to let me know that the nearest were more important than beer. I nodded softly at him, trying to ease his racing mind. It didn't do a thing. Cas turned back, completely unresponsive when Charlie spoke.
"Sup Bitches." She laughed to herself, plopping down on the chair Cas had been sitting in. She took one glance at the board and made a face.
"Oof. Not going well then." She commented, snapping off the cap and taking a sip of her own beer. I snuck her a look and shook my head slightly. I nodded my head in Cas's direction to let her know it was a touchy subject. She bit her lip, noticing Cas's narrowed eyes and bone breaking grip on the marker cap in his hand.
Sam came around and glanced at the messy pile of books. He scanned the board and then Charlie's sympathetic expression. I threw him a warning glare, trying to tell him not to push it. Charlie caught it, but of course Sam didn't.
"Yeesh." Of course. That did it. The ticking bomb had gone off. Fuck.
Cas threw his hands up in the air angrily -and a bit dramatically if you ask me.- He growled, cursing something in Enocian and slammed his book to the ground. His balls curled into fists, his jaw clenched and stomped out of the room. His pounding footsteps echoed down the hallway and a few seconds later, as if on cue, I heard the bedroom door slam. And it slammed hard. The sound rang in our ears, the impact strong enough to break the door itself.
I winced and slowly looked at a flabbergasted Charlie who had dropped her beer in surprise. Sam blinked, trying to process what had happened, and once he did, he gulped, looking at his shuffling feet in guilt. There was a silence that killed.
"You going to get that or..." I groaned.
"Why can't you?" I snapped back at her. She raised her eyebrows and I could hear Sam's completely unsupportive snicker.
"He's your beloved." Charlie pointed down the hall with her other arm crossed over her chest. I stood, -flushed with frustration- completely unready to face the angry Cas. I gave one last look to Sam, pleading to get me out of this one. He shrugged trying to conceal his smirk. I shot daggers at him. I was so going to kill him!
I padded towards our room and very slowly twisted the doorknob. Oh god I know that there was a hurricane in there. Why the hell was I doing this again? Oh yeah... because Charlie made me!
I was just trying to blame her. I loved Cas and it tore me up to see him so upset. I gulped and opened the door.
"Cas? Babe?" Silence. Oh god... that was the worst anger. At least if he yelled, it was over with quickly. The silent anger lasted and if it didn't make you feel awful, nothing did.
He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the window, back to me. I slowly made my way to the bed, sitting next to him silently. We sat there for a while, the sound was our breaths. I had a feeling Sam and Charlie were right outside, ears pressed against the door, ease dropping.
Finally, I spoke.
"It's not a big deal you know." Damn. I said the wrong thing. I was waiting for an explosion, but instead, he sighed shakily.
"I fail to see how it's not a big deal." He spoke calmly, but a bitterness hissed through his teeth.
"Look, what I'm trying to say is, we will know when we get there." Cas nodded but I could still see the anger seeping through him.
"Cas- what's this really about?" I stared at his stoic expression. "Cas." I said more firmly, grasping his clenched hand. His tight expression softened as he looked down. His eyeslids hiding his watery blue eyes. His lips curled down into a loose frown. His long eye lashes lowered. I found myself lost looking at them.
His eyes were an entire galaxy of pure blue. Almost like a black hole, they sucked me in... causing me to lose train of thought. Not that I'd admit it.
"I... I have done so much wrong in my life. And there is nothing that I could ever do that would fix all the pain I've caused. While I do what I can, it's not enough. It will never be enough. I'm not enough." I shook my head, my lip twitching in anger.
"Stop talking about yourself like that! Cas, you are a hero. And while most of the world doesn't even know it, we do. Sam, Charlie, Bobby, Kevin. Me. Sure, you've made mistakes, but we all have."
"Yes but my mistakes aren't fix-" I cut him off. I cupped his face in my hands and shook my head again. I ran my thumbs over his cheekbones and my fingers placed on his chiseled jawline. Did he know what this was doing to him? It was eating him away, I know, I was the same way. But I couldn't let it happen to him.
"Stop." I paused. I was never good at talking about feelings. Hell, I almost locked them away! What was I supposed to say? I inhaled softly and kissed the tip of his nose.
"You are everything. To your family, to me... and will be to this child. Understand?" He didn't speak. My eyes narrowed, I couldn't place what he was thinking, and that frustrated me.
"I just want to get something right." A smile tugged at my lips and nodded. I finally understood it perfectly. He was scared. He was scared of screwing this up. Hell, I was freaking out to. But I had a gut feeling that this was the right thing to do. And that was rare.
"I know. So do I. But we will. The name will come in time, and it will feel right." He didn't move, his position remaining stiff for another few minutes. He suddenly leaned forward and kissed me.
It was quick. Gentle, barely a brush, but that damn kind always left me craving for more. As he pulled away, leaving my lips tingling, he smiled ever so slightly.
"I should've just gotten a cat." I chuckled, finally relaxing.
"You're not going crazy old cat lady on my watch." He scoffed and stood. I made a soft noise of protest, wishing he'd stay and that we could just stay locked away in here for a while.
"You hungry? I could go for some-"
"Pie?" I cut him off, excitedly. I grinned at him waiting for an answer impatiently. Never mind then. Guess my mind changed as the thought of some chocolate pie leaked into my brain. He rolled his eyes at my childish excitement.
"I was thinking burgers, but pie will work." He sighed reluctantly. I jumped up pumping my fist in the air. Cause, you know, it's pie!
...
Castiel's P.O.V
I felt much better. The heavy stress on my chest was still there, but Dean's smile could make that all vanish for a minute. I tuned Dean out as he grumbled a million and one complaints about how expensive cribs were.
We decided to stop at a baby store before a quick meal. I pushed the blue cart, slugging behind as Dean scanned all the cribs, pointing at every one and making snarky comments. The cart was getting heavy. Filled with a bookshelf to put together, a car seat, bibs, two packages of diapers, and a few odds and ends. A stuffed animal bee -something I had spent 15 minuets convincing Dean that we had to have,- a few teething toys, a wall shelf to put knick-knacks on, and a leather jacket. Yes, a leather jacket specifically designed for a baby.
I had rolled my eyes when Dean had picked it up with a grin. He narrowed his eyes and told me a baby had start somewhere! I ended up allowing him toss into the rapidly growing pile, knowing that there were some battles not worth fighting.
Also in the cart, was lotion, shampoo, a package of bottles, and a few books. I decided that books would be very important to our child. I didn't want them growing up blind to so much, like I had been when I first came to earth. So I had picked out "Goodnight Moon," "Where the Wild Things Are," and "Peter Rabbit." Dean also had a copy of the grim brother's fairy tales. Except this was the real version. With the real and quite gruesome tales. I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first. I mean, teaching a baby that Cinderella's stepsisters cut off their toes in order to fit in the glass slipper was not what I had in mind. But Dean made the valid point that we were introducing a child into the world, where the things that go bump in the night will do a whole lot more than hide under their bed. We might as well not sugarcoat the rest.
I scanned each crib, my eyes wide at the hundreds of options. They all looked like tiny prisons. And that unnerved me. I wanted the child to feel safe and at ease. Not like they were being put on lock down. I mean, the bunker was the safest place in the world.
All of them were so gender oriented too. A pale pink or pastel blue. Little flowers or cars painted on the edges. A mobile that hung above it, decorated with butterflies or trucks. I hated the stereotype people put on kids. From the beginning, most parents decided for them. You are female: play with dolls and paint butterflies. You are male: play with toy cars and dinosaurs. It bothered me, so I made a promise to myself. I would let my child grow into whatever person they want.
"How about this one?" His voice caught my attention, shaking me from my daze. Dean pointed to a white crib standing on display. It was simple, yet cozy. The white painted bars didn't look so much as a baby prison as some of the the others appeared. It was gender neutral, perfect for a boy or girl. I shrugged, inspecting it further.
"Hey! It comes with green sheets! It's a steal!" I chuckled and nodded as Dean pulled the large box of the shelf and grunted for my to assist him. I picked up the box and lifted it into the now overflowing cart.
"I call this a pretty successful load." Dean said with a grin. I smiled too, because for the first time, him and I felt like... what would Dean call it?... Yes.
A white picket fence family.
Dean and I paid and loaded the car with our goodies, the impala door creaking as I shut it. Dean opened the drivers side door, but did not get in. He instead gazed at me. The corner of his lips tugging a tiny smile.
"What?" I questioned, cocking my head. I was trying to read his expression, but he wouldn't let me. He shrugged.
"Pie time!" He said with a smirk. With another shrug he climbed into the car.
The engine roared to life, but I still stood outside. I blinked, coming to realization, that he was thinking the same thing. He felt like a white picket fence couple, with a baby on the way.
...
We sat at the diner, across from each other in bright red leather booths. The table was worn, water stains slowly destroying the polished wood. I tapped my finger against the table impatiently waiting for our food. Dean read the menu, licking his lips at the pictures of mouthwatering burgers. He slapped it down on the table and took a sip of his beer.
"So... I was thinking."
"Oh that never ends well." I cut him off, a playful smirk spreading on my face. I had learned the snarky tone from him. He chuckled and placed the beer down.
"Wow babe. I mean, I expect that from Sam maybe... but you? Now that's just cold." I shrugged, feeling pretty proud of myself for that.
"Anyway." He snorted, rolling his eyes. I nodded, allowing him to continue. "I was thinking- no, no. Cas don't say anything, just let me finish. I was thinking that we should convert the empty men of letters bedroom across from our room into the nursery. You know for convenience, and I will not allow a kid to sleep in our bed.
I nodded, agreeing with him. Although a little knot twisted at my stomach. I would feel much more at ease if the child spent the first several months in our room. But if Dean seemed okay, then I guess I could manage. He was the king of being overprotective.
"Here ya go boys! One mile-high apple pie, and a bacon cheeseburger." I smiled and nodded a thanks to the waitress. She was a cute girl. Always greeting us with a warm smile and a bottle of Dean's favorite beer.
A grin grew on Dean's face as he gaze heavenly at his pie. I snorted and threw my napkin at him. He jolted in surprise shooting a glare at me. He gave me a Sam worthy bitchface and motioned at me in confusion.
"You don't look at me like that way." I spoke with a gruff voice, pretending to be hurt.
"What the hell?"
"Exactly. You don't look at me that way. Only to your precious pie." I pointed out, folding my arms acting like I was taking offense. I guess it was my way of trying to ignore the pain in our chests. The fear that was so obviously affecting both of us, despite the excitement.
"Cas. Babe. Seriously?" I nodded, finally breaking as a smile broke through. His face fell in un amusement. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, stabbing his fork into his pie.
"I-" The phone rang. He blinked, trying to process that it was his phone that was ringing.
"You gonna get that?" He shook himself from his daze and riffled through his pocket until he found his vibrating phone. He squinted at the name, questionably. He shrugged and answered it, holding it up to his ear. I leaned forward, propping my weight on my elbows. I looked at him, trying to hear the person on the other line.
"Yeah. This is him... Uh yeah. It's still there." He paused and listened for a while. I could only hear muffled chatter.
Then. His face fell. His hand became shaky and the phone slipped through his fingers. He I gracefully caught it again, and held it up hesitantly. I mouthed his name, but he ignored it.
"Seriously?" His voice cracked. I was getting nervous. My stomach twisted uncomfortably, and my chest became tight. My head swirled with thoughts and worst case senecio's.
"Okay. Yeah! Uh... um thanks man! Yeah we'll be there."
He hung up the phone and stared at it for second, completely lost in his daze.
"Dean!" I nearly shouted. What was going on? He didn't speak, just gulped. I had long forgotten my burger, as Dean had long forgotten his pie. My heart beat quickened as did my breaths. I stared at him. Oh god, I felt queasy. Several expressions crossed his face. First shock, then confusion. Then denial. And a flicker of fear. He raised his head to meet my eyes. The biggest shit-eating grin spread across his face. Pure happiness.
"They found one." He paused and watched giddily, as my eyes lit up. It took me a minute to process what he meant. It then hit me like lightning.
We had found a child.
Thats the chapter! I originally was going to make this longer, but I felt that this was a better place to stop. The story will now be 4 chapters plus an epilogue, but my original plan still stays! R&R please and thank you! Until next time,
-Daisy
