Fate/first order derivative
Part III.4

⇒ skip forward: iteration 29, day 6, morning

Huh. Okay. That... is a thing, I guess.

⇒ whats a thing

Oh. Kuzuki's out today, so I wound up getting a free study instead of Ethics. Been using the chance to work on decoding Uncle Shin's journals again.

⇒ you brought those things to school with you
⇒ even with all the
⇒ you know

I've been hiding them inside my math binder. Also, nobody pays attention to me. I hope. Anyway, get this - I finally figured out this short bit that's been driving me crazy. Turns out Shin reused a key from a few pages earlier. That's what threw me off.

⇒ so what does it say already

RE: Z-ENERGY - I WAS WRONG. SO MUCH MO
RE THAN ZELRETCH. TIME ENERGY? PARALLEL
UNIVERSES?

First question among many: what the hell is a Zelretch?


⇒ skip forward

Rin spits her drink halfway across the roof. "SHIN KNEW ZELRETCH?!"

I wrinkle my nose. As comedic spit takes go, Rin's version is... different. She wasn't even drinking when I brought it up. It was more like I told her what I found, she nodded and took a sip, and then suddenly it kicked in or something. Can't tell at the moment if it genuinely worked out that way or if she's being deliberately overdramatic. "Uh, yeah. If that's who this Z guy he's been talking about really is. Ring any bells for you?"

Rin covers her mouth as she coughs and hacks. So probably unintentional, then. Shirou looks on in concern, a handkerchief already in hand. (An actual cloth handkerchief. Dang. Do they even sell those these days?) Anyway, I'm eating lunch with the two of them up on the roof. The Servants are off watching for Rider in the woods. Haven't seen Matou around. Maybe he's keeping his head down.

Rin comes partway out of her coughing fit. "Zelretch," she croaks. "Kishur... Zelretch... Schweinorg."

Shirou blinks. "Those... are words."

"They are?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Think so, but don't quote me on that."

"Ugh." Rin tries to take another sip to clear her throat, but I guess her can's empty now. So she sweeps up Shirou's drink instead and downs part of it. After the first gulp, she immediately goes pale and spits out the rest. Again. "The shit is this?!"

"Bitter melon cola." Shirou irritably wipes a bit of spray off of his face.

"Why?!" Rin blanches. "Just... why?!"

"It was on sale."

"You can actually stand that stuff?" I fish a paper napkin out of my bag.

Shirou shrugs. "It was on sale."

I make a mental note to get Emiya something more palatable from the vending machine tomorrow, if I can swing it. Rin takes the napkin from me and uses it to wipe off her tongue. "Ulllckkh, oh God... it's like somebody washed out my mouth with coffee grounds and hate..."

I give her a second to pick out the bits of paper from behind her lips. "So... Zelretch Swine-orgy."

"Wizard Marshal Kishur Zelretch Schweinorg," Rin says, "is probably the most powerful mage alive... well, sort of. He's centuries old, one of the only remaining Magicians in the world, and I really can't believe you've never heard of him before." She shoots a look at Shirou, who just shrugs again.

There's a lot to unpack there. I tilt my head. "I thought mages were magicians."

"Well, we are, but..." Rin takes a deep breath. "All right, look. Technically, what I do is called magecraft, okay? It's like... magic lite. Diet magic, I guess. Also, I just realized I hate that metaphor, so neither of you are allowed to bring it up ever."

"And Zelretch?" I ask.

"What Zelretch has is capital-M Magic. Actual, genuine miracles." Rin swallows. "There's only five in the entire world, he's got the second. He's one of the few known True Magicians in all of human history."

Not sure what all that's about, but okay. "So he's kind of a big deal, is what you're saying."

"Uh, yeah, Tom! He's kind of a big deal!" From Rin's expression, you'd think she'd just stumbled across Jesus Christ sharing a flat with Buddha in Tokyo. "He's rarely seen in public. Almost never takes on students these days. And you're saying that one of the most respected and feared individuals in all of mage society... the literal immortal who destroyed the king of all vampires, who taught Western magic to my ancestors, who stopped the freaking Moon from colliding with the freaking Earth... that man took on your uncle, a complete normie, as an apprentice?! That's... that's..."

She stops and stares out into space for a moment, an odd expression on her face. "... actually... that would be totally in character for him, come to think of it."

"Really?"

"He's really old, okay?! They say he's got a weird sense of humor!" Rin shudders. "Anyway, he's probably like the one person in the world who might be able to get away with something like that. The Association would hate it, but even they're scared of him. They wouldn't risk going against him... not directly, anyway..."

"Are... you okay?" Shirou asks with some concern.

"No! I'm not!" Rin hugs her legs. "It's bad enough Shin knew about magic and didn't tell me, all right?! If he knew Zelretch on top of that..." She buries her face in her knees.

Oh, wow. She told me before she knew Uncle Shin when she was a kid. I didn't realize she cared this much, though.

⇒ think about it
⇒ she said her parents died early right
⇒ then she was taught by frigging kotomine of all people
⇒ not an abundance of emotional support in that setup

That's true... couldn't have been too many friendly faces around Casa Tohsaka, I guess. I shut up and give her a moment to process. Shirou awkwardly reaches out towards her, then hesitates and lets his arm drop.

After a minute or two, something occurs to me. "So... it sounds like Zelretch and your family go pretty far back."

Rin mumbles a vague sound of assent from behind her knees.

"Could that be how Shin met your dad? Through him?"

"I... maybe?" Rin sniffs and looks up, pushing her hair back away from her face. "Dad told me he met Zelretch once or twice at school. So I guess that fits?"

What do you know. Something resembling an actual answer in this whole crazy mess. Guess this was a bigger breakthrough than I thought.

"Still, though - it doesn't make any sense!" Rin rocks back and forth. "How could Shin have even met Zelretch in the first place?! And why take him on as a student, as opposed to all the other billions of people out there?! And... and..." She sniffles and glances at Shirou. "Um... can I..."

He gives her the handkerchief. She blows her nose on it loudly and wipes her eyes. Wow. This is... well... a whole lot messier than I would've expected from Rin.

⇒ i guess people can surprise you sometimes

Tell me something I don't know.

I hear the lunch bell ring. That's okay, though - I get the sense that we're done here for right now. I start pulling my stuff together. Ugh. Rin spat Shirou's drink all over my math binder and one of Shin's notebooks. It's okay and all. It's not like it won't reset eventually anyway... which is kind of a morbid thing to take comfort in, come to think of it, but let's not get into that...


⇒ skip forward

I'm about a third of the way into my next class when someone knocks on the door. I look up in surprise as Saber steps into the room, dressed in her borrowed school uniform. "Excuse me," she says. "I was sent with a message for Tomonaga."

The teacher gives me the okay. I get up and go out into the hall, sliding the door shut behind me. "What's up?"

Saber hesitates. "It's... difficult to explain. You should probably see for yourself. This way."

I follow her down to the next floor and through the halls. She eventually stops by the door to the student council room. "In here. Quickly."

Stepping inside, I am immediately greeted with the sight of Shirou curled in the fetal position, lying on the floor. He is also - I should add - completely butt-naked.

⇒ uh

"Guh!" I quickly avert my eyes. Looking over, I see Rin sitting on top of the table at the center of the room. She cradles something in her hands, whispering and twitching.

She also appears to be wearing Shirou's pants on top of her head.

So this... this is a thing that is happening now, I guess.

⇒ ayup

I turn to Saber as she steps in and quickly shuts the door. "What is... what is this."

"I don't know," she says, a grim expression on her face. "I've used what healing magic I know on them. But nothing I've tried seems to work."

I decide to start with the situation less likely to add to my already-sizable collection of physical insecurities. "Uh, Rin?" I hesitantly approach her. "Are... you..."

"Sssh!" Rin growls. "I told you to zip it. I am working."

"Oh." I lick my lips. "Uh... sorry?..."

"Not you! That." She angrily flips off the filing cabinet in the corner of the room. "Stupid elf keeps laughing at me. Thinks I can't see the gears moving beneath its skin... I'll show him. I'll show all those little fuckers..." She goes back to prodding what looks like a compact mirror with a bunch of binder clips attached in random places.

"Well, that's fantastic." I turn to Saber. "How long have they been like this?"

"Since shortly after lunch ended." Saber rubs her temples. "It was all I could do to get them in here before they drew attention to themselves."

"Yeah, uh. Good call." I see Emiya's boxers hanging off the back of a chair and wince. "Do you think Caster could be doing something to them?"

"It's possible." She shrugs. "I am unable to sense any active magical effects on them, nor any physical abnormalities... but that may just mean it's something beyond my ability to detect."

"Okay... what about Archer? Where's he at?"

"Still on lookout. We couldn't rule out Rider being behind this somehow, either, so..."

Another good call, I think. Though this really doesn't seem like a Medusa-ish power to me... what about Shinji, though? Could he have slipped them something? Can't say I'd put it past the little bastard...

⇒ maybe focus more on the situation at hand

"HEY!" Rin shouts. She glares in my direction. "Don't you start! You're dead! You don't get a vote!"

I stare at her and point at myself. "Uh..."

"Not you. My stupid dad." She waves vaguely towards the area behind me. "I'm a full-grown woman, okay?! I can wear whoever's pants I want! Do you want me to bring you and Mom back to life here or what?! And you!" She swings her head back towards the filing cabinet. "The fuck does that even - what do you mean, 'none of this matters'?! It matters to me, okay?! So why don't you just sit down and pour yourself a nice glass of shut the fuck up?!"

I don't really see myself making any headway here, do you?

⇒ not unless you can speak machine spirit

Nothing for it, then. With a sigh, I turn and kneel down over Shirou, my eyes locked firmly on his face. "Hey, man... you awake? How you doing over here?"

"It's hot," Shirou whispers. He stares out past me, his pupils dilated. Beads of sweat drip down his face. "Too hot... I can't find her..."

"Who?"

"Mom... I can't find her..."

Oh, boy.

⇒ oof
⇒ bad time for a ptsd episode

"This is hell, right?" Shirou mutters through dry lips. His eyes seem to focus on me, kind of. "The heat... the screams... the smell... what did I do wrong?" His voice cracks. "Just tell me... what did I do wrong?"

I have absolutely no clue how to respond to that question.

⇒ same

Something about what he said, though... I put my hand on Emiya's forehead. Even through the glove, I can tell that doesn't feel right.

Just to confirm, I stand back up and check Rin's temperature. Shit. She's burning up. I look over at Saber. "I'm pretty sure they've got fevers. We better get the teachers."

Saber nods. "If you think that's for the best."

"What's your problem?" Rin slaps my hand away and looks at me through narrowed eyes. "What's with that antenna sticking out of your head? And why are there so many of you? You know that only one of you gets to be real, right?"

I swallow. "Yeah, I'll... work on that. Promise."

"You better." She harrumphs and turns back to her mirror. "We don't let just anyone join this family, you know."


⇒ skip forward

In the end, the teachers call an ambulance for them. I guess the involvement of one of the school's wealthiest students is enough to convince them it's worth the hassle. Saber goes along with them to the hospital; she tells me that Archer'll stick around until school lets out before he joins them, just in case Rider tries to take advantage of all the chaos.

Rest of the day's pretty uneventful from there. Tough act to follow, I guess.


⇒ skip forward

THERE HAS TO BE A WAY TO SUPPLEMENT MY
OWN MEAGER MANA WITH AN OUTSIDE POWER S
OURCE. THE TYPICAL MAGE ANSWER TO THIS
SEEMS TO BE BLOOD SACRIFICE - STEALING
OR DRAINING THE MANA FROM ANIMAL OR EVE
N HUMAN LIFE. OBVIOUSLY I HAVE ETHICAL
ISSUES WITH THAT APPROACH. IF ONLY THER
E WERE A WAY TO DRAW POWER FROM, SAY, A
COMPOST PILE... SURELY THERE MUST BE EN
OUGH CELLULAR ACTIVITY WITHIN ONE TO PR
OVIDE *SOMETHING*...

That night, I'm up in my room working on Shin's notebooks when I hear the sound of an engine idling outside. I look out of my window onto the street. There's a taxi parked outside of Emiya's house.

The car's gone by the time I get down the street and ring the bell. Ms. Fujimura answers the door. "Oh, it's you! I didn't know you lived around here, uh... Tomoyama?"

"Sure, why not," I say. "What happened with Emiya? Is he back home?"

"Yeah, actually." Shirou steps out behind her, dressed (thank all that is holy) in a ratty t-shirt and a pair of old sweatpants. He doesn't look any worse for wear, just kinda embarrassed. "They let me go, but they're keeping Rin overnight for observation. Sorry. Guess I kind of caused you some trouble earlier, huh?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not a thing. I just remember my head starting to feel weird after lunch. After that, it's all a blank until I woke up in the ambulance." He grimaces and rubs the back of his head self-consciously. "Guess I should be kinda glad that was the case..."

I get where he's coming from, but that really isn't going to help us figure out what the hell just happened. "Well, okay, but... do you remember anything weird happening before that, though? Like in the morning or something?"

"Not really, I..."

"Shirou." Saber sticks her head out into the hallway behind them. She notices me and gives me a slight nod. "The thing is doing the thing, the way you said it would."

"Just keep stirring it, Saber!" Emiya calls back to her. "I'll be right there."

"Okay, back to the kitchen." Ms. Fujimura grabs his shoulders. "Talk to friends later. I'm starving!"

I stare at her. "You're making him cook? After he just got out of the hospital?"

"Well, of course, silly!" Ms. Fujimura gives me a look like I'd just questioned the color of the sky. "Sakura's not around. And I can't do it. What, you want him getting poisoned twice in the same day?"

"She's not kidding," Shirou mutters to me. "This one time, she somehow managed to mix bleach into waffles without even realizing it..."

"Oi! We've talked about this! No spreading true stuff about me around at school! Now c'mon already! So... hungry..." Ms. Fujimura literally starts chewing on the back of Shirou's head.

Emiya sighs and gives me what is possibly the longest of long-suffering looks. "See you later, Tom."

"Yeah, later." He slides the door shut. I trudge back down the street. Okay, we officially need to get that guy some assertiveness training at some point. I know he's all about the stoic thing, but this is ridiculous.

⇒ you're one to talk

True. Wonder if they offer group rates on those seminars. Anyway... this mystery clearly isn't getting solved tonight. Guess we'll have to wait to see Rin tomorrow. Maybe she'll know something.


AUTHOR'S NOTES

Yeah, it's Zelretch. Big shock, I know. Someone mentioned in the comments the possibility of it being Zouken. I did genuinely consider that twist at one point early on in the story's development. It'd even make sense that he might try to find someone to create magic technology to replace his family's dying powers. Problem is, I couldn't help but see him as far too set in his ways at this point to consider such an approach. Once you've transferred your soul into a colony of flesh-eating insects, you've pretty much left the rational world behind for good, you know? Bridges burned.

Still, I have to admit, that would have been a really interesting angle. Feel a little bad about not using it. But I just can't make it work with the other bits of plot I have in mind.

As we found out in II.8, Shin was technically a rando, not a normie. I presume Tom neglected to mention that detail to Rin this time around.

Re: Guest comment - oh, trust me. Tom hasn't forgotten about Sakura in the slightest. I suspect he'll make his way back to that matter before long here...