Pipes,
I'm going to go get Sam's soul back. Too dangerous for both of us. Should be back soon.
Try not to be too mad at me.
Love you.
Dean
xxxxx
"I'm going to murder him," Piper said thoughtfully. She took a sip of her coffee and stared at the note her husband had left on her pillow that morning.
"Yeah, well, he has it comin'," Bobby said with a nod as he sat across from her with his own coffee.
She sighed deeply. "Do you have any idea where he went?"
"He was gone before I woke up."
"Well. Shit."
xxxxx
"Just hear me out," Dean tried to say calmly, but it came out more irritated than anything. Dammit.
"I heard Cass and Crowley! When they said it would either kill me or turn me to Jell-O, Dean!" Sam snapped. "I heard enough!"
"Death said he can put up a wall, that… That… Basically, you wouldn't remember hell."
Sam frowned. "Really?"
Dean nodded. "Really."
"For good? Like a cure?"
Dean winced. "Um, no. Not like a cure. It… He said it could last a lifetime."
Sam threw his hands in the air. "Great. Playing pretty fast and loose with my life here, don't you think, Dean?"
Dean was starting to get angry. Both at Sam, who was objecting so hard to this, and at Bobby and Piper, who were just standing there, watching them argue. "I'm trying to save your life!"
"Exactly, Dean! It's my life! My life, my soul. And it sure as hell ain't your head that's gonna explode when this whole 'scheme' of yours goes sideways!"
"Just curious," Bobby said softly. "I presume Death's not doing this out of the goodness of his heart. So what's your half of the deal?"
Wincing, Dean looked up at the ceiling, unsure if he wanted to see the emotions in Bobby or Piper's eyes.
"I'm sorry," Bobby said scathingly. "I didn't get that."
Dean sighed. "He, uh, he wants me to wear the ring for a day."
"Why would he want you to do that?" Piper's voice was surprisingly soft, reserved.
It made Dean nervous as hell. "I don't know. Get his rocks off? But I'm doing it." The sound of movement had his head turning to see Sam walking out. "Where are you going?"
Sam sighed, but didn't turn around. "Look, I hear you, all right? I get it. I just need a minute to wrap my head around it, all right?" He walked out.
Dean looked over at Bobby, whose expression was unreadable as he started to leave into the living room. "You're a moron," the older man said thoughtfully as he walked by.
Finally, Dean looked at Piper. Her head was tilted, and he couldn't figure out what emotion was shining in her pretty eyes as she stared at him.
"So," she said gently, "You spoke with Death."
Dean knew where this was going. "Uh, yeah."
"Face-to-face."
"Yeah." He took a step back.
"You know, usually, to speak with Death, you have to die."
Dean swallowed hard, a little thrill of apprehension making his stomach twist. "Uh, yeah."
"God dammit, Dean!" The swirling anger and fear in her voice made him want to approach her, to sweep her in his arms. He suspected that that was not a wise course of action, however, so he stayed where he was.
"Piper, come-"
She held her hand up. "No, no, no. You are not 'Piper, come on' or 'Piper, baby'ing your way out of this, Dean Winchester." There were tears in her eyes, and her chest was heaving. "I'm so fucking mad at you, I could spit," she snarled, turning her face away to look out the back door.
He winced and took a step forward. Something in him froze when she stepped back and crossed her arms, still not looking at him. "Piper-"
"Shut up, Dean," she said softly. "Tell me what you did." She wouldn't meet his eyes. "Tell me who you got to kill you."
"Pipes…"
"Tell me." There was no give in her voice, no room for argument.
Hesitantly, he told her about Dr. Robert, about having his heart stopped. He told her about summoning Tessa, which somehow caught Death's interest, and about the conversation he'd had with the horseman.
When he was done, he had taken another step toward her. She was within arm's reach now, and it took everything Dean had not to touch her, but he knew it wouldn't be welcome. He could count on one hand how many times Piper had been well and truly mad at him, and this was taking the top of the list.
"I don't even know what to say," she whispered, a tear finally falling down her cheek. His heart ached when she wiped it away angrily. "Why wouldn't you… Why wouldn't you tell me?"
Because you would have stopped me. "Because I didn't want you to get hurt, kitten."
She stiffened at his use of the pet name and finally turned to meet his eyes. "No. No, I think you didn't tell me because I would have stopped you." She let out a choked, harsh laugh. "Or, at least, I would have tried."
He frowned. "Piper-"
She took a deep, shaky breath, clearly struggling to keep it together. "No, no, stop. I just… You lied to me."
"What?!"
Her hazel eyes were snapping fire at him. "A lie of omission is still a lie, Dean. You knew you were going to do this, you left me that half-assed, ridiculous note, and then you went to go literally get yourself killed."
"Piper-"
"What would have happened if they couldn't revive you?" She snapped, her voice raising again. "What am I supposed to do when you go off on these kamikaze missions, Dean?" She took a step forward, and while part of him was grateful she was near him, the rest of Dean was distinctly nervous that she was about to hit him. "How many times are we going to do this? Where you just decide that you're willing to die for something, and I have to sit back and watch it happen?"
Another harsh laugh escaped her lips, and it felt like Dean had been punched in the gut. "You go on and on, telling me that Sam's not your only priority, that you don't have tunnel vision, but Jesus fucking Christ, Dean, what is this? If this wasn't tunnel vision, then what the hell was it?"
She finally moved, but not to swing. She just took that last step forward, wrapped her arms around his waist, and buried her face in his chest. Dean immediately put his arms around her to keep her close, pressing his nose into her hair and breathing in deeply. "I'm sorry, Pipes," he said roughly.
"Liar," she murmured into his chest, but there was little heat in the word. She leaned back to look up at him. "No more lies. No more lies of omission, no more deliberate lies, nothing. I can't do this if you aren't honest with me, Dean."
Dean's chest felt tight again as he looked at her, as she forced him to look at the situation from a perspective that was not his own. What would have happened if they hadn't been able to revive him? Piper would have been left there, with just his stupid note and no him. If she had pulled something like this, he'd be tempted to lock her in the panic room and never let her go.
And it was entirely possible that she had a distinct point about Sam. Dean felt like he was always fighting to keep Sam safe, or keep Sam sane, or just keep Sam with him. It was instinct, too deep for him to fight, and usually too deep for him to even question.
But damn if I ever give a second thought to how it's going to hurt Piper, he thought mournfully.
He put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her close to kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry, kitten," he whispered against her skin, hoping she could sense how much he meant it. "I'll be better, I'm sorry."
Apparently, she could, because she melted against him. "I know," she said softly. "Apology accepted."
They stayed like that for a long while before Dean tensed. "Shit, Sam's gonna go get that ring."
She chuckled and put her hand in her back pocket, pulling out Death's ring. "Please, like I wasn't prepared for that."
xxxxx
The angel Balthazar was going through an array of emotions, which bothered him. Which was another emotion.
He hated Earth.
First, there was irritation when he was summoned. It was like standing on what one assumed was firm ground, then having the floor yanked out from under one's feet. It was gut-wrenching, and it always made his skin feel too tight and jumpy.
Second, there was fury. Fury that Sam Winchester, of all things, had the audacity to be the one who summoned him. Stupid little human twerp.
Third, confusion and horror when Sam revealed that Dean meant to put that mangled, barely-there, whimpering soul back into Sam's body.
"'Cause Michael and Luci are hate-banging it as we speak."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Can you help me?"
"Oh, yes. The question is, will I?"
"Name your terms."
Balthazar thought for a moment, then nodded. "I'll do it for free."
Sam frowned. "Free? Why?"
Balthazar shrugged. "Well, you seem like a capable young man. I'd love to have you in my debt. And I have to say, I'm not a fan of your brother, so screwing him would delight me." He clapped his hands. "Anyway, to business. The spell. Finding the ingredients are easy enough, but, uh, there's one tricky part."
Sam nodded, his face expressionless. Which made sense, since he didn't have a soul. "Okay."
Balthazar took a deep breath. "You need to scar your vessel."
Sam frowned. "What?"
"Meaning something that so pollutes it, it renders it uninhabitable. Calls for something very specific."
"Great. What?"
A beat of silence. "Fratricide."
"… Dean's busy, and he's going to be done with the ritual by the time I'm close enough to kill him."
Balthazar sighed. "To be clear, um, you need the blood of a sibling, but your sibling needn't be blood. Comprende?"
Sam nodded slowly, and Balthazar felt a fourth emotion for the day.
A pang of regret hit his chest, just a little, when he thought of Piper Winchester's wide, hazel eyes fading into cloudiness as she died.
xxxxx
Piper watched carefully as Sam walked back in. He smelled like smoke, like a summoning spell, and her suspicions were immediately aroused.
"You were gone when I woke up," she said softly, watching impassively as he started. "Where did you go?"
He shrugged. "Just driving around. No biggie."
The problem with someone who didn't care was that they didn't care if they got caught. She couldn't tell if Sam was lying, so she just stared at him hard for a moment before forcing a smile onto her lips. "Breakfast?"
xxxxx
Sam was going to try to kill her.
Piper didn't know how she knew, but some deep intuition was telling her to get the hell out of there. That part of her didn't want to know why, or how, or what the fuck was going on. That part of her just wanted her to run.
Unfortunately for that part of her, the rest of her was burning with anger. She didn't know what was going on, or why this soulless counterpart to her sweet brother-in-law wanted to harm her, but she was determined to find out and put a stop to it.
Piper did not intend to be easy to kill.
They were playing poker, and she let a little smile linger as she stood. "Do you want another one?" she asked softly, pointing at the empty beer bottle in front of Sam.
He shrugged. "Sure."
This was it. She turned easily, tossed the empty into the recycling (which she had insisted Bobby get, she remembered a little hysterically) and walked toward the refrigerator.
Sam was good. Only because she knew he would try something did she sense him moving behind her at all. She lunged to the side, spinning to see him wielding a wrench. He stared her down, then took a step toward her.
"I'm real sorry about this, Pipe. This is just something I gotta do."
Piper retreated, moving them slowly out of the kitchen. "According to who?"
He took another step forward, and she took a corresponding step back. "It's a spell to keep Dean from getting that soul back into me. Just think how bad it could be if his plan goes sideways, Piper."
Just a little more. "Dean says it'll be safe."
Sam shook his head and took the final step she needed him to. "Dean's flying blind, you know that. He doesn't care about the consequences, he just cares about getting that other guy back, no matter what it'll do to damage me or him."
Piper just hit the lever that Bobby had built into the staircase and watched dispassionately as Sam fell through the trapdoor into the panic room. He landed with a grunt, and she leaned over to look in. "Sorry, Sammy," she said gently. "I'm really, really unwilling to just lie down and let you kill me. So get comfy, you'll be there for a minute."
He didn't respond, so she stepped back and let the trap door slide shut. She flipped her phone open to call Bobby as she made her way down the stairs to keep an eye on Sam. Bobby had been called away for an emergency, and for the first time ever, Piper didn't feel safe being alone with Sam.
In all fairness to me, he's huge, and freakishly strong, and determined to murder me.
When she got to the basement, she listened as the phone went to voicemail. When she got to the door of the panic room, she opened the little window to look at Sam, hoping he wouldn't make so much noise that it would be difficult to leave a message.
It was a moot point. Sam was gone.
She barely had time to mutter, "Fuck!" before she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head and darkness flooded her vision.
xxxxx
Dean was standing in the room of the teenager he'd refused to kill. The girl's spirit was staring at her father, who was starting to scream. "I can't just leave him," she insisted. "It's not fair."
Guilt lanced through Dean again. "I know."
She turned to him and huffed. "Then why?"
Dean struggled for words to comfort her, and came up with nothing. "There's sort of a… A natural order to things."
"Natural order is stupid," she said firmly.
"Dean."
Dean spun, eyes wide as he took in Death standing behind him. He noticed Tessa tense next to him, too. "Wha-"
"We have to go. Now."
Before Dean could ask what was happening, they were in the basement of Bobby's house.
"Take the ring off and handle this situation," Death said dryly. "If I do it, Sam will die, and you will no doubt come crawling back to me to fix it."
Dean didn't have time to be indignant (Dean Winchester had never gone crawling to anyone in his life) before he took in the scene in front of him.
Sam standing, knife in his hand, beginning to chant.
Bobby nowhere to be found.
Most importantly (always most important) was his wife, lying on the ground. Her face was turned away from him and her body was twisted a little, but he saw blood pooling from a wound to the back of her head.
"Piper!"
xxxxx
Hi, beautiful readers! Here are my notes:
I own only Piper Finley, the original character. I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters. (heartbroken).
Reviews, comments, and kudos give me life and keep me going.
And, as always, thank you for reading, you beautiful, beautiful people.
**I don't even have a good excuse, but I thought I was coming out of my depression, and then I tailspun into one of what was probably the worst low point I've ever gone through. One of my fosters (a 3 week old kitten, abandoned by mama) died, work got really, really stressful, and I just in general entered a grey mindset where nothing mattered to me. BUT! I made some changes, pretty significant ones, and I'm okay now. I wrote for the first time in three weeks today, which is pretty big progress. I usually like to have at least one chapter written ahead of the one I'm posting, but I feel so good today and I feel so bad for holding out on you guys that I couldn't put it off anymore.
**I love you guys. Thanks for sticking with me.
