Good afternoon! :) Here I'm again. I'm really sorry about the delay… I've been a disconnected from the Internet for a while. I needed some rest. xD I guess you've already forgotten about this story, but I hope you're still a little bit interested, because I've written this chapter with all my love :D
I hope you like it and I'd love to hear from you, just say anything you want, I'm all ears. ;) Have a nice week you all! ;)
PD: I didn't have time to proofread. Sorry, guys. ;)
PD2: No time for reviews either. I love them, though! ;)
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
: Chapter 38 – New Chapter:
I'm a mess, I admit that. I can't stop thinking about her. I knew this could happen if she came back. Time didn't change anything about my feelings for her and it hurts like hell. I was a moron five years ago and I keep doing the same stupid things. I know that I'm dating Alison now, but I can't help but being jealous every time I've seen her with that other girl. I love Alison, and I thought I could be happy with her. However, now that Em is back I don't see a future with her anymore. And all this mess happened because I was a fucking coward five years ago. I feel like I'm screwing my life and Alison's and Em's at the same time because a mistake I made five years ago.
"What is going on with you? You seem absent. Aren't you happy that you're seeing your niece?" Hanna smirks at me and my mind stops rambling. She's right, I'm holding the baby but I'm not enjoying this moment because I'm still thinking about her.
"It's not that," I briefly add. Hanna sighs.
"I hope your sad face has nothing to do with my daughter," she jokes, making me smile. I raise my eyebrow and I see she's staring at me. I know that look, she wants me to open up. I've known her for a long time and that's her real intention.
"You know what this is about, Hanna. You're not dumb." She smirks at me.
"I know who you're thinking about, but I don't know what is going through that stubborn mind of yours. I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything. Even if she's my friend, you're my sister-in-law. I know how to keep a secret." I start laughing loudly, making the baby open her eyes widely. "I can do that, silly," she insists, making me laugh again. "I promise," she adds, putting a serious face this time.
"I can't stop thinking about her." I avert my gaze shyly. I finally said it, loud and clear. It's been difficult to admit it to another person, but I needed to take this pressure off myself.
"I don't get it. I mean, what is wrong with you two? You are meant to be together." The blonde shakes her head.
I look into her eyes and I blush. She's right, but it's not as simple as she thinks it is.
"It's complicated."
"You're making it difficult. I mean, I don't know what happened five years ago and why Emily suddenly left. I can see you're both suffering but you keep dating Ali and now that Em is hanging out with that girl you are acting like a teenager." She takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry about my harshness, but I need to be honest, Paige." I nod at her.
"You're totally right."
"I guess you don't want to talk about it and it's really okay. I won't push you. That's your decision and I will respect it. But you're making your life more difficult and even if I know the real reason of your breakup, you're suffering and it's painful for the people that surround you too. I know it looks simple from the outside because I don't know the whole story, but you need to do something. You must take that band- aid off, even if that talk means that you two are going to be apart. I wouldn't like that, but you need to make up your mind and make a decision already." I love that she's always so honest. I sometimes need her to push me because she has that effect on me. When I'm being a coward about something that's bothering me, I know I can talk to her and she always gives me the strength I need to be braver. That's why I came here today, besides seeing my nephew I needed her frankness to know what to do about the Emily matter.
"You didn't talk to Emily?" She smiles at me.
"You two are exactly the same, in case you didn't notice. She's all secretive about the whole matter. I know something happened and that she left, but she didn't say a word. That's why we're going crazy. It's not just you." I smile. I didn't expect this. So they don't know anything at all.
"I was a fucking moron five years ago. That's the short version."
Hanna starts laughing. "You could maybe be more specific. I already knew that," she teases me.
I start from the beginning and Hanna pays close attention to the story I tell her. Emily wanted to leave the job because she didn't want people to think she had that job only because she was the boss' daughter's girlfriend. I didn't support her, I didn't want our relationship to be public because I was terrified by it and I feel like shit now that I think about my actions, but that's what really happened. Besides, I was starting to feel anxious about my feelings for her. I was - and I still am - in love with her, and that feeling made me feel really nervous, like I was not in control of my own life. I know it's stupid, but I've always been a free spirit and I suddenly started feeling anxious because my past life without attachments was vanishing. I was so overwhelmed that I started to push her away. She realized I was doing that and when she told me she was leaving I thought she had found another job, but in the same city, not at the ends of the Earth. When she told me she was leaving to Africa I felt my life was coming apart. Now that I think about it, I really deserved it for being an asshole and not behaving like an adult. I still remember the night she told me about it, how she couldn't stop crying and the way she told me that I had changed and realized I wasn't interested in her anymore. It was just the opposite, I was so crazy in love with her, but I was such a coward and I didn't have the guts to tell her how I was really feeling. The sad part of the story is that she thought she was the only one that had feelings and that she must felt like she was a hobby for me and that I got bored. Since she already had taken the decision, I just nodded and left. I was so stupid and I've been thinking about that moment every day for the last five years. I guess she still thinks I wasn't in love with her and that our relationship is over, but I have stronger feelings for her than I had five years ago, even if I was madly in love with her. That night was the poorest decision I've taken in my whole life and I still regret it. When I finish telling my version of the story, Hanna looks at me with her eyes wide open. I can see she can't believe what I just told her, and I don't blame her, it was really stupid.
"Wow! I didn't see this coming. I thought you dumped her. Emily didn't want to talk about it, so we never knew what really happened. I even thought it ended by mutual agreement. Then you let the relationship die." She sighs.
"Emily didn't say anything?" I ask, opening my eyes widely.
"Not a word. She was secretive about it. That's why I even thought there was another person involved. She was so hurt." She gives me that look and I realize what she's implying.
"If you're implying that…" I take a deep breath and continue talking. "It wasn't like that, I promise. That happened one month later. I would never do that and you know it. Alison happened later, you could say it was a band-aid for the scar I had." She shakes her head. "I know it's difficult to understand my reasons to screw my life. You can tell me whatever you want, I totally deserve it." I smile and she smiles back, but I know she must think I'm stupid.
"You must be the stupidest person in Earth, Paige. I'm sorry you had to hear it from me, but you were lucky enough to find your soul mate and you screwed it." I nod at her and then cover my eyes with both hands.
"You're right, I was a fucking moron. I want to make things right, though." She gives me a surprise look.
"What do you mean?" She's eager to know which are my plans.
"What do you think?" I grin at her.
"Just fucking say it!" she exclaims, making me laugh.
"I want to get her back. But I need to be cautious."
"Does that mean that you're going to break up with Ali?"
"Yes, I need to do it. I love her, but I'm not in love with her. She deserves someone that loves her the way I love Emily. It will be complicated and hurtful but I guess I should have done this a long time ago." Hanna raises her eyebrows, trying to make it obvious she knew it.
"You're losing sight of a detail ", she adds.
"I know she's dating someone. I just need to amend my mistakes and then I will try to win her back. One step at a time."
"It's not just that. I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but you're assuming she feels the same way, Paige." Those words feel like a stab wound, but I know she's saying it for my best. There's another person involved in this matter… Emily.
"Did she tell you something about it?" My question seems desperate.
"No, she didn't. But I don't want you to raise your hopes and keep suffering".
"I know. Even if she doesn't want to be with me, I owe it to Alison. She deserves better. Besides, I spend all day thinking about her, even when I'm with Alison. It's not fair for her or me. I need to change that. And if I don't get what I want, then I will be single again but at least I won't be cheating anyone. It's worth to try."
"I guess you're right. I'm glad you finally are opening up. You are my sister-in-law and it was disappointing that you didn't want to talk to me," she teases me.
"It's not like that. You know me very well. I'm shy and talking about this is really hard for me."
"I know that. I was just joking, Paigey!" she elbows me jokingly. "I thought you came to babysit," she teases me. I smile and then go get my niece. "Thank you for this. I really appreciate it. I can bring her with me, you don't really need to do this."
"It's okay, you need to rest a little bit," I insist. "And you know how much I love spending alone time with her. Go before I change my mind," I joke.
I am excited that I finally got an interesting job offer. I've been applying for a lot of jobs and only a few of them called me, but this is the first interview I'm attending and I got a good feeling about it. It's nice to know someone is interested in what I can professionally offer. I'm a little bit nervous, but I know I'm ready for it. I want to give them a good impression and I really need a job. The first person I called when I received the good news was my mom. She was even more excited than I am although I didn't get the job yet. I guess it had something to do with the fact that the job is in the city and not in a country she didn't even hear of. I know she missed me the time I was in Africa. I enter the café and take a seat at one of the empty tables. Only a few seconds later Hanna and Spencer enter the establishment and I wave at them.
"Are you already so tired of your daughter that you left her with Caleb?" Spencer jokes after they take a seat right in front of me.
"She's not with her dad, she's with her aunt." The moment she says those words I feel both of my friends' eyes on me.
"That's perfect. If she's busy with the baby she won't bother Emily," Spencer says sarcastically. I sigh. I am in a good mood because of the job interview and I don't need this to spoil my brief happy moment.
"Don't say that, Spence," Hanna scolds the brunette. Spencer gives her that look that I always find terrifying.
"Why? She's being an asshole. You have to admit that even if she's family, Hanna." Hanna nods at my other friend.
"You don't know half of the story, Spence," I look surprised at her. I don't know what she's talking about.
"What do you mean? I think I know what happened, you're talking about my life, Hanna." I reacted harshly, but it was hurtful that my friend defended her like that even if she doesn't know what happened.
"I'm sorry, I didn't say you did anything bad, but there are things that you don't know and I think..." She stops talking when it was getting interesting. We both look at her, but she just looks at the floor in silence. She stopped for a reason and I think I know who she talked to.
"Hanna... what is going on? Is there anything I should know?" I ask, eager to know what the hell she was implying.
"Forget about it, it's nothing. I am only saying that sometimes things are not what they look like and there's a background story that changes everything. That's all. Anyway, let's talk about you, Em. Are you nervous about this job interview?" I sigh. I'm curious about my friend's words about my ex, but she decided to move on so I won't push her. I nod at her, I'm pretty nervous about it actually.
The moment I step on the offices my body starts trembling. I know I'm totally trained for this job offer, but trying to convince them that I'm the best choice is not as easy as it sounds. After being abroad for five years it's like starting fresh and it's kind of overwhelming.
The moment I take a seat and a tall and well dressed man enters the room I take a deep breath. I smile at him and he smiles back at me. My nervousness rises unexpectedly.
"So... Emily Fields..." he says as he looks at some papers that I assume contain my résumé. "I am Mike. It's so nice to meet you." He stretches his long arm and I shake his hand. "We were expecting you," he adds giggling at me. I frown at him. I don't know why he's being so nice and that makes me even more nervous.
"I didn't know I was famous," I joke.
"We liked your résumé, that's all. Are you interested in the job offer?" Another strange question that leaves me astonished.
"That's why I'm here," I joke again.
"We are really interested in hiring you. I think you are the perfect choice for this position. Actually, we didn't call anyone else hoping that you'd accept. Your trajectory is extraordinary."
I don't even have words to express my surprise. I don't know why this is happening. It seems like a dream. The man laughs when he realizes I can't believe what is going on.
"I'm sorry I'm overwhelming you." He laughs. "I don't intend to pressure you. These are the terms. You can study them." He hands me a few of papers and I start reading them. I take a quick look and it seems that it's a better offer than I had expected. I know I will have responsibilities, but I was counting on that. The salary, the general terms, holidays, health insurance coverage... everything is just perfect. I don't have any doubts about it. I should accept the job right away.
"So..."
"I love it," I say.
"You can read that calmly or you can accept the terms right now," he adds with a huge smile on his face. "I don't want to pressure you. You should probably sleep on it." That huge grin attacks again.
"No, I am pretty sure about my decision," I reply happily. There's no need to think more about it. I am willing to work and I don't think a better contract will be offered to me.
"That's perfect for us. That way, you could start as soon as possible. We have a huge international project that it fits perfectly for you. You will be working in collaboration with another firm and other professionals due to the size and importance of the project we have in our hands." I open my eyes widely. I already know I will love this job with the limited information he gave me. "Your workplace will be in the city, in these offices, but you will have to travel a few times to China to make sure everything is going as planned and to supervise the project. I hope that's okay for you. I mean, traveling for short stays."
I nod at him. If I have to travel a few times is not a problem. I will have my residence here and my mom will be happier, her fear of me going abroad won't be happening after all. A few minutes later I'm following Mike to another office where he leaves me alone so I can calmly read the whole contract before signing it and making it official. One everything is settled, he shakes my hand and smiles at me.
"Then we will see you on Monday, Emily. We're really happy to have you here," he adds.
I walk towards the elevator to exit the premises with a feeling of satisfaction, but right before the door opens I hear him yelling at me.
"Emily!" I turn around to look at him. "I was just told that the professionals of the firm we're going to work with want to meet you. They just got here and I was wondering if..." He makes a pause and then changes his mind. "Or maybe we could just leave that for Monday," he finally adds.
I turn around and walk towards him. I want to make a good impression, this seems like a formality. I will meet them and then leave I guess. It's not a great deal and I guess it sends a good message.
"Okay, let's go then," I respond.
I follow him to a meeting room that's located at the end of the long corridor. He opens the door and we get into the big meeting room. My face semblance suddenly changes.
"Emily?" I hear her saying. This must be a nightmare.
"Is it you who we're going to be working with?" the man adds with a big smile. "That's really good news." His happiness is right the opposite of what I'm feeling right now. I don't even have the guts to look at them. I just stay in silence for a few seconds and Mike breaks the silence.
"Is everything okay? Do you know each other?" He looks surprised by my reaction.
"Everything is just perfect, Mike. We know her really well and I can assure you we will make a great team. I know him both professionally and pers..." I interrupt her before she finishes that sentence.
"It's okay, Mike. Everything will be just fine," I add, even though I will need some time to assimilate this.
To be continued…
Stay tuned! ;)
