"... and then I just had to get out of there, so I came here."

Katie knew how absolutely insane she probably looked, and sounded, sitting on the ground between her mother's and grandmother's graves, and talking to them. But she hadn't known where else to go.

She and Zaeed had finally arrived in Solana Beach and immediately gone to the Argo. During happy hour. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid to think she'd be able to handle that kind of crowd when she'd barely survived Ryan's wedding. Eventually, she was just going to have to realize that she would never feel comfortable in the Argo ever again.

And there was no way she was going back tonight anyway, not after the way she'd run out of there like she was being chased by a demon, which she was, really.

Stupid fucking bastard still –

Katie shook her head. She would not give Him the satisfaction of controlling her anymore. He'd been burning in hell for eight years and somehow had dragged her along with him. But no more. Enough was enough. Sure, she'd said the same thing on her sixteenth birthday, again on her eighteenth, and at Ryan's wedding, and countless other times in between; it hadn't yet actually stuck, but she figured if she made the decision often enough, one of these times, it was going to fucking work.

A twig snapped a few feet to her right, but she ignored whoever had come along to disturb her; she knew either her father or Zaeed would eventually find her, but that didn't mean she had to acknowledge that they were there. Yet.

"Lieutenant Shepard?"

Her head fell back against the tree she'd been using to prop herself up. Another goddamn reporter. When are they ever going to fucking leave me alone?

She ignored them still until she heard them move closer, until she could feel them standing right beside her, inside her personal bubble.

"Lt. Shepard, I know that's you, and I know you can hear me."

So fucking what if I can? she thought bitterly, still not giving the reporter an ounce of attention. Maybe if she stayed still long enough, the woman would think she was asleep, or dead. Not that that would make her go away.

"Lt. Shepard, why do you refuse to talk about what happened on Akuze? You have nothing to say to the families of the rest of your unit? Have you no respect for the dead?"

Katie finally snapped. She shot up from her spot on the ground and faced the reporter and her goddamn camera.

"First of all, anything I have to say to those families is between me and them, not the vultures of the media," Katie snarled. "And secondly, I find it really fucking ironic that you are preaching to me about respect for the dead when you ambushed me in a cemetery and are quite literally standing on my mother's grave. Now fuck off."

Before the reporter could say another word, Katie pushed past her, knocking her clear of Lara Shepard's grave, and stalked out of the cemetery.

With her luck, the report had been live, and everyone in the bar had seen it. Which meant she was probably in for a lecture. Or a group hug.

Neither sounded appealing in the least, so Katie headed in the opposite direction of the Argo, determined to get lost just enough to spend a few peaceful hours alone.

Of course, it didn't last. She'd been wandering the streets close to the beach for about twenty minutes when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Lady, just what part of fuck off did you not understand?" she growled as she spun around, only to find herself face to face with Zaeed. "Shit."

He smirked. "Nice to see you too, kitten."

"Sorry. Thought you were –"

"Oh, I know. We all saw your 'interview' earlier."

"Fuck me." Katie groaned. "I was afraid of that."

"If it helps, Jason and I thought your response was brilliant."

"Thanks." She sighed. "And Dad?"

"He's bloody furious, but not with you."

"That's something at least." She hooked her arm through Zaeed's as they started walking in the general direction of the Argo. "So, how'd you find me? You just out for an evening stroll? Or are you following orders again?"

"A little of both, really. I absolutely refuse to stay in the same room with Steven when he's angry. He gets bloody overbearing, which I'm sure you've noticed…"

She nodded. "Many times."

"So, I decided I'd had enough of the Argo for tonight and left. Before I did, he asked if I'd keep a look out for you, since he knew you weren't likely to come back on your own."

Katie snorted. "So he does learn, eventually. Took him long enough."

"Don't be too hard on him, kitten. He's just worried about you."

"I know, I know." She stopped and leaned against a nearby building, ignoring the urge to use it to scratch her back. "It's just… frustrating. I know he means well, you all do. And I know he wants to help, but there's nothing he can do to help me right now except leave me to work things out on my own."

"You can't keep keeping bottling this up, Katie."

She glanced over at Zaeed as he lit a cigar, surprised he'd used her name; he rarely called her anything but kitten lately. Not that she minded in the least.

"I know that too," she said quietly. She heaved a deep sigh and finally admitted, "I'm scared, Z. I'm terrified, really, that I'm just so screwed up with Akuze piled on top of every other fucked up part of my life, that the next therapist I go to is gonna take one look at me and stamp Cat-6 right on my forehead."

"I think I can help with that."

"How? You have some magic cure to make it all go away?"

He shook his head. "There's no magic cure," he muttered, his teeth clenched tight around his cigar. "Believe me, I've looked, for more than a goddamn decade."

In the few years they'd known each other, they'd never talked about his past; granted, they'd never talked about hers either til the last couple of days, but that's because he'd been involved, to an extent. He'd already known all about it. All she knew of his past was what he'd told her the day they'd met, that he'd been in the Alliance and turned mercenary not long after the war. But there was… something else there, something that still haunted his dreams as much as The Bastard and Akuze haunted hers.

After awhile, they started walking again, a slower pace than before as Zaeed told her about the years after the war, when he'd founded the Blue Suns with a supposed friend, who had later betrayed him and left him for dead. He'd spent a long time recovering, most of it spent drinking at the Argo; he'd even stayed with Jason and Ryan in the beginning.

"I knew I couldn't just sit and drink for the rest of my life; might as well have let Vido kill me outright if I'd done that," Zaeed said bitterly. "But, like you and the pain pills, drinking was all that let me sleep at night, and even then it was iffy. Eventually, Jason told me about a PTSD therapy group up in San Diego, started after the war; it's changed hands a couple of times since then but it's still going, meets every Tuesday and Thursday."

Katie frowned. "And you think they can help me?"

"Worth a shot at least."

"But –"

"They won't judge you." Zaeed put a hand on her arm, apparently afraid she was going to run off again. "Most everyone who goes is Alliance or former Alliance. A lot of 'em are in the same goddamn boat you are, kitten. Lost a lot all at once, or saw horrors no one would believe unless they were there."

It sounded promising, more so than one on one with a shrink would be anyway. And she knew she had to do something, or she was going to fail her psych evaluation the next time she went up to Vancouver.

Still she hesitated. "Did it help you?"

"Wouldn't have suggested it otherwise." He shook his head with a small smile. "Like I said, there's no magic cure that'll just make it all go away, but this is something."

She sighed. "Yeah, suppose you're right."

He glanced at his omni-tool. "If you're up for it, I think there's a meeting tonight."

She snorted. "After the shit I've done in the last couple of hours? No thanks. I think I'll just go dig a hole on the beach and bury myself in it 'til the next one, or the one after that."

"You can't hide forever, kitten. Besides, everyone in the group has done shit like that too."

"On TV?"

He shrugged. "Some of them. I'd be surprised if there weren't Marines there who'd been groundside on Elysium or Mindoir. Reporters hounded the hell out of them too."

"True." She knew it was better to get the first time over with sooner rather than later; even if she made a fool of herself, at least she'd tried. "Fine, I'll go. But only if you go in with me."

Zaeed nodded. "Of course. Wouldn't miss it."

As they walked to the nearest cab stand, Katie sent a vid chat hail to her father. She hoped he wouldn't make a huge thing out of it all, that she'd barely just arrived before she'd run off again and now she was leaving altogether, at least overnight.

"Where have you been?" he asked by way of greeting when he finally answered her hail. "We've been worried sick."

She sighed and made a conscious effort not to roll her eyes. "I'm fine, Dad. Just went for a walk around town. And then I ran into Zaeed."

"Oh, good. So you're on your way back now?"

"No, not tonight."

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm… we're going to a group meeting."

Her father raised an eyebrow. "You, voluntarily going to therapy?"

She couldn't stop the eyeroll then. "Yes, Dad. Me, voluntarily going to therapy."

"Wait, why did you say you wouldn't be back tonight?"

"It's in San Diego, a group Zaeed knows."

"Hmm."

"What, Dad? Now you have a problem with this too?"

He shook his head. "No, not… no, I don't. If this is what it takes to get you to finally go to a therapy session, then so be it."

She scowled. "Only you could make this into a bad thing."

"It's not a bad thing, Katie," he insisted. "I suppose I just wish you'd listened to me half as much when you were a teenager as you listen to Zaeed now."

"Did you ever suggest, or even consider, group therapy?"

"Well, no."

"There ya go then. And I did argue a bit first; it's not like he said 'let's go' and I immediately jumped at the chance."

Her father chuckled. "Of course not. I would have checked to see if hell had frozen over if you had, sweetheart. Even Zaeed Massani can't overcome your stubborn streak that easily."

Katie rolled her eyes again. "'Night, Dad. We'll be back in the morning, I promise."

"Good night, sweetheart. I love you, and I'm proud of you. You know that, right?"

She smiled. "I know, Dad. Love you, too."