Good afternoon! The angst is coming back, but I promise you it's not going to last. :D
Thank you so much for taking your time to read this. ;)
siophiefandom: Alison had to disappear from the story and I guess that's the best way Paige had to show Emily she is serious about them. She obviously didn't put the pictures on purpose because she didn't know Emily would be in her apartment, but that's another sign that Emily has to take into account. Thank you!
Guest: The company will help the healing, that's for sure. :D Thank you for your review. ;)
MJ: I know I'm playing with your feelings, but that way the happy ending will be much rewarding. :D Everybody hates Alison, but I tried to make her nicer in the story. However, she had to go. xD Thank you! I hope you're nice to me after reading this chapter. LOL Have a nice week!
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
: Chapter 43 – Sober:
I spend almost all day looking at my watch, waiting for the time to leave the office finally arrive. And whenever Emily is focused on her work, I can't help but staring at her beautiful face. This is becoming an obsession and I know it's probable I will get hurt, but I don't know how to avoid these feelings that are becoming stronger as days go by. I am still physically exhausted from the surgery although I spent all weekend resting at home, but with the awareness that I will be spending time with her after work gave the energy boost I needed to come to work full of strength.
We barely speak all day at the office, a few work related conversations are the only thing that she seems comfortable to deal with, so I respect her decision. Besides, we will have time later and that helps me deal with this shyness she's showing me. The moment I approach her desk to explain her a few details and I'm at a touching distance, I realize she avoids my gaze and any physical contact. Even if I would like to touch her arm to see her reaction, I decide to maintain a distance. I remember how she cupped my cheek when she visited me at the hospital and I know she wants to touch me too, but I will give her time. I don't want to rush things and fuck up everything that I've trying to fix.
The nervousness I'm feeling gets to the maximum level when I open the diner door and she enters right before me. This is like old times and it feels fantastic. The diner where Hanna works, even though she is in maternity leave right now, brings me really good memories. I feel even happier when she walks towards the table that we used to sit whenever it was not occupied.
"Two cappuccinos?" I ask Emily when the bartender approaches us showing her dimpled smile.
She smiles at me while she nods at our favorite choice. We always used to order that and she didn't change her taste. I hope she didn't change her taste in other matters that include me. The bartender leaves and a sepulchral silence envelopes us. It's going to be difficult to break the ice, but I'm putting all my effort on that matter although I'm supposed to be shiest one from the two of us. "Are you okay?" She raises her eyebrows and I find her reaction really cute.
"I'm perfect. How are you? You must be tired." She worries about me and that strangely feels good.
"I am, but this is helping." She grins at me.
"Are you going to act like this the rest of the afternoon?" I laugh.
"I'm just being honest. This is really nice. I mean it. I'm really happy we are at least trying to be nice to each other." Her face turns serious. "Calm down. I won't do anything you don't want to. I want you to be comfortable, okay?" I would love to hold her hand, but I resist the urge to do that.
"Thank you." Her shy answer makes me want to hug her.
"So... how was the last five years? You haven't told me about Africa." A neutral conversation is the best way to break the ice. Well done, Paige! I tell to myself.
From the first minute she starts to talk about her experience I realize she's loosening up. I've always thought being away must be a hell of an experience, but when she tells about all other difficulties they had due to the lack of resources and how they handled the tough bureaucracy in order to make the project work, I feel so proud of her. It's not only that she helped people in need, that alone is totally admirable, but she speaks about it with so much passion that it makes my heart melt. I've always known she is a really generous person, but doing what she did is just another level of generosity. That's another factor that makes her irresistible.
"Wow! I'm so proud of you!" I exclaim, making her cheeks blush. "Are you planning on going back?"
"Well... that's a difficult question. I mean, I would love to, but I have a life here and my mom would kill me." I laugh remembering how worrying her mom can be.
"She's capable of doing that, I can assure you," I add, teasing her. She stares at me and the laugh disappears. I shouldn't have said that, even though it was a joke, she knows her mom confronted me when she came back from Africa, blaming me for distancing her from her daughter. Now that I think of it, that conversation happened in this same place, just a few tables from where we're sitting. Her mom was angry and she was right about blaming me, I deserved it, so I don't hate her for that. In fact, I respect her even more because she was protecting her daughter. In any parent's mind a son or daughter will always be their little boy or girl, and that won't change ever, even in Emily's case she is a grown-up woman.
"I'm sorry about what happened. I mean, my mom..." I interrupt her when she starts explaining that incident.
"Your mom was right and I deserved that scolding from her. She was protecting her daughter and I was guilty of what happened to you, so I admire her. I didn't say that to attack her, just the opposite. It was a joke. I'm sorry if you took it the other way."
"Can I tell you something?" Her lips turn into a smile and I feel better, I thought I had spoiled this meeting because of that joke. I nod at her and she looks down before speaking again. "You've changed."
I open my eyes widely. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but I'm curious. "What do you mean?" I raise my eyebrows and she smiles again.
"You know what? The cappuccino was good, but I finished it a long ago. What do you say if we go to that pub that you love so much and have a beer instead?" I smile at her and she suddenly realizes I can't have alcohol after the surgery. "I'm sorry. I need a beer. You could have a soda," she teases me. The pub she's talking about is the one I used to go to before she left. We spent a lot of time in there and when she went to Africa I stopped going because it reminded me of her. Going back there and with her makes me want to hug her. Besides, it's a little bit dark, with a dim lighting and I guess that atmosphere helps for a more intimate conversation.
"I'd love to," I confirm. "I will, but only on one condition." I pause and she looks at me. "You just have to tell me why you said that." She nods at me and laughs.
The moment we take a seat on the stools that are at the back of the pub, it feels like the missing puzzle piece is finally on its place. I couldn't be happier. The company, the place, the music, the intimate lighting, everything is perfect. I would prefer to have a beer, it would totally be worth it, but the soda will work and will be the best thing for my health. She is the only thing that I need right now. This is like a dream come true, something that has been going through my mind for the last five years and didn't think it would eventually happen. The sad thing is that I had given up.
I take a sip of the soda and she drinks from the beer bottle. "So, answer that question right now," I tease her. She laughs and I realize I hadn't seen laugh like that for a long time, as if time had not passed.
"I feel you have changed. I sensed it since the first day I saw you," she clarifies.
I frown at her. "You mean phisically? Are you calling me old?" Her laugh turns louder and it feels great.
"No, dumbass. I meant you seem more mature."
"And I thought I was keeping the sex appeal and you tell me I am mature woman. Damn!" She grins at me.
"You are okay on that matter," she shyly adds.
"Just okay?" I joke. "Then I've been jogging for nothing."
"You can't be serious for a brief moment?" she elbows me and then smiles at me. I know she loves this kind of humor, I'm finally getting her to be more comfortable with me, and that was my first goal.
"So I am more mature. I hope that's good," I add.
"You seem more calm and mature about everything. I like that." I grin at her.
She takes another gulp of beer and I realize that she already finished the content of it. I have half of my drink inside the glass. She must be nervous or really thirsty. She orders another beer and another one after that. I sense that she is loosening up and I like that, but I don't want her to get drunk.
"Slow down, cowgirl!" I exclaim when the bartender places another bottle of beer in front of her.
Her laugh makes me realize she is way more relaxed.
"See? The mature you is trying to be a partypooper." I grin at her and she makes a sudden move to hold my hand. This is totally unexpected, but I don't let her go, her touch makes me feel better than ever.
"I'm trying to take care of you." I look at the bartender, raise my hand and ask for a bottle of water. I seize that act to let her hand go. I know she's doing that because she's tipsy and I don't want to look like I'm taking advantage of that weakness, although it feels great. "You're going to drink some water too, okay? I don't want to be guilty of your drunkenness." She shakes her hand jokingly. Alcohol is obviously kicking in. "You don't want anyone to think that you got me drunk so you could make a move?" I know she is teasing me, but my face turns redder than a tomato.
"I am so mature that I wouldn't do that. It goes against my principles," I tease her. She's slowly leaning towards my stool, making the distance between us smaller. I start getting nervous and I interrupt that moment. "I need to go to the restroom." She doesn't say a word but her grin reveals that she's enjoying making me feel uncomfortable after I was the one making her feel like that. It's like she is in control right now. Although I'm happy she's making a slight move, I don't like the fact that she is tipsy and maybe alcohol is pushing her to do that. I walk towards the restroom with those thoughts invading my head. I need to be calm, I shouldn't act on impulses despite my body craves for her touch after so many years dreaming about being touched by her again. I need to be patient and make a move when she's sober.
I take a deep breath and enter the cubicle. When I finish, I open the door and before getting to the sink to clean my hands, I see Emily standing right in front of me. She has that look that I know very well, her eyes are glowing. She approaches me and I freeze. She pushes me inside the cubicle and closes the door. She gives me another light push and I'm suddenly against the wall. I can see lust in her eyes and her breath is getting quicker as she closes the distance between us. My legs start trembling, craving for her touch. She eagerly kisses me, her hungry lips making me moan. I instinctively open my mouth and she seizes that move to use her tongue and make me moan harder. She grabs my ass and I feel lost. It feels like I've never been touched, I am out of control. I've been waiting for this to happen for a long time, but I know she is doing this because she is drunk. She stops for a moment, giving me that sexy look that I love so much. I'm panting, she provokes me that kind of reaction. I put my hands on her shoulders when she is about to attack again.
"Hey hey, hey! Wait a minute, Em." I'm practically breathless. She frowns at me, her brown eyes staring with anger. I know she is not going to take it well. Making her stop was a really hard decision to take, but I don't want this to happen like this. "You need to stop." Her angry eyes gaze at me like I said something offensive.
"What?" she yells at me. I'm still trying to regain my breath. I'm eager to kiss her now that she is so close to me, but I need to control myself.
"I... ummm." She shakes her head, the anger kicking in.
"What is wrong with you? You've been flirting with me since the first day I saw you and now you reject me? I'm fucking fed of you!"
"Hey!" I cup her cheeks with both my hands trying to calm her down. She bends her head to the opposite side, avoiding my contact. "You are obviously intoxicated. I don't want this to happen when you are in this condition," I clarify, trying to make her come into her senses. But the anger in her eyes won't go away. She is not thinking clearly and I look like the bad in this whole mess.
"I'm fine, I'm not drunk. So your plan was warm me up and then reject me? Fuck!" She leaves the cubicle and slams the door. I follow her. "I'm sick of you. I don't know why I keep trusting you if you always end up hurting me? I'm sick of this!" Her yelling is getting louder. This is not going to be easy. I don't want to keep having this conversation because I know it's not going to end well.
I hold her hand, trying to be affectionate. "You just need to sober up. I will walk you home and we will continue this conversation tomorrow when you're sober, okay?"
She takes a deep breath, gives me an angry look and leaves the restroom as fast as she can considering that she has difficulty with her balance and coordination. I hurry my pace and I reach her right outside the pub. I hold her waist so she doesn't fall. She's way drunker than I had thought. She can't even walk in a straight line. At first she pushes me when I hold her waist tightly and walk right next to her, giving her the balance she clearly needs. But I hold her again and this time she doesn't do anything, but she keeps muttering. We walk in silence, and I keep holding her until we get to her apartment door. She gets the keys and tries to introduce them in the lock, but fails miserably. I take the keys and hold her hand for a few seconds. She stares at me and I suddenly see tears rolling down her cheeks. I feel like shit.
I wipe her tears delicately and stare at her. "Hey. Don't cry, please." She looks away, still angry at me. Suddenly, the door opens and I see Spencer standing in front of us with a surprised look. I guess she heard the noise of the keys.
She gives me a hateful look before Emily enters the apartment. "You know what? Fuck you!" Emily yells at me. Then she walks away hastily, entering her bedroom and leaving me alone with Spencer. Spencer look at me in amazement.
I sigh and look at Spencer while I roll my eyes in desperation.
"What the hell happened?" She seems angry at me. I understand her tone given what her friend just yelled me while she was crying.
"It's complicated." She gazes at me expecting a more elaborated explanation.
"She was crying. What the hell did you do to her?" Her bad temper is exponentially increasing.
"She had too much to drink, she kissed me and I told her she should stop. Is making things right a sin?" I ask, a little bit annoyed. I am devastated and I don't need Spencer scowling me because I did what a coherent person is supposed to do.
"Okay." Her change of attitude makes me feel a little bit better.
"I fucked it again." I huff. "She took me by surprise. She's been acting very distant and when she kissed me it felt so good." I sigh. "But she was drunk and I didn't want to look like I was seizing her weakness, and I want her so badly. I mean, I wanted to keep kissing her, but I stopped and..." I wander all over the living room while I explain Spencer what happened.
"Stop it, Paige." She holds my arm and I stop walking aimlessly. "I understand your reaction. I would have done the same. You want to make things right and making up when the other person is not thinking clearly because has had too much alcohol is not the best way to fix whatever is going between the two of you."
A slight smile makes an appearance on the doctor's face. "Thanks. But I feel like shit," I admit, as I massage my temples trying to get to a relaxation point.
"She feels rejected. That's understandable. But you took the right decision, Paige. Once she is sober she will understand the reason why you did that."
"I don't want to go home without talking to her." I approach her bedroom but Spencer holds my arm, making me stop.
"I know how you feel, but that is going to make things worse. Go home, rest, and you can talk tomorrow, when things are calmer. Okay?" She gives me a kind smile. She is right, but I won't be able to sleep knowing that I made her cry again. I nod at her and walk towards the door.
"I'm sorry. Good night, Spencer."
She smiles at me. "Night, Paige. Thank you for not leaving her alone and bringing her home."
The moment I enter my apartment I feel like crying. The day started really well, ended so badly and I feel responsible for it. Before getting into bed, I grab my phone and text her.
"I'm sorry." I hope that helps to make this situation a little bit smoother. There is not a response in the next few minutes. I close my eyes and I finally fall sleep.
To be continued…
Stay tuned! ;)
