Chapter 20
Capitol Plaza Apartments
Unit #25
Washington DC
Spencer had Penelope drop him off at home, and settled in to think.
Apparently he was a freak.
Okay, he was an alien. Although given that he was talking about himself perhaps he shouldn't say alien. Non-human. Not the same species as the dominant culture. So he was bound to be different, this was understandable now. But he was even different from his own species. Profoundly different.
He was a freak.
Ten minutes into lying on the couch contemplating just how alone he felt there was a knock on the door. He opened it to a bag with pints of ice cream being thrust into his hand. "So, why the panic back there?" Penelope asked as she pushed her way inside.
"Because I'm a freak." He replied. She'd brought a ton of ice cream. Including cinnamon bun ice cream, his favorite. He passed her the Phish Food and took the rest to the freezer.
"You're an alien, Spency, not a freak." Penelope wrote her initials on the side of the carton and dug in.
"Even for an alien I'm a freak. Apparently Quadraninans have such strong sex drives that they find it impossible to even practice monogamy. To be complete honest the thought of doing that with anyone, ever, is…stomach turning. I'm completely the opposite of what they are."
Penelope thought about this for a spoonful. "Okay, I have an answer that I would use for anyone but you. Although even for you it might be a good idea."
"What's that?"
"See a therapist. You sound like you've been through some kind of trauma." No, Spencer thought, well… "But given that it's you there's something else we might consider."
"What's that?"
"How do aliens make babies?"
Spencer looked at her a moment. "Well, given that I pass for human I would assume…"
"Ah! You have a stomach that passes for human, that we assumed worked the same way as a humans, and it doe not. So are you completely sure every bit of everything works the same way a human's does?"
Well, when she put it that way. "N…no."
"So before we go coming up with ideas and things we need more intel. Either from your mom or your doctor."
"I cannot discuss sex with my mother."
"In that case." She pulled out her phone and started texting.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm seeing if your doctor makes house calls."
Twenty minutes later Essa, now in civilian Earth dress but still in gloves, was standing in Spencer's living room. "Yes, please." Said to the offer of tea. "So you have a question you're not comfortable discussing with a houseful of people."
"Yes." Spencer went to put the kettle on. "I'm just not sure…I don't know how to…"
"How do aliens make babies?" Penelope asked. "I mean, is it different from how we make babies? Or, you know, the sort of activities that lead to babies?"
"Oh. That's actually a really common question." Essa smiled. "When a woman is ready to have a child she goes to her local genetics clinic and the staff there help her select the optimal sample."
"Sample?"
"Yeah. Men go to the clinic and leave samples. They used to say eight times in your lifetime but we're really underpopulated right now so as many times as you can is what the crown is asking."
"You mean like…sperm samples?"
"Yeah."
"And then she goes and gets…implanted?"
"Yeah."
"That sounds remarkably efficient." Spencer said.
"It is." Essa replied. "We've done it this way for three thousand Terran years more or less. Done wonders for the species. Every child healthy and strong and planned for."
"But then if Lira has a baby it wouldn't be…yours?" Penelope asked.
"Of course it would be. We've agreed to raise children together. Does't matter if it carries my genetics or not. It'll have the best ones for it. The best start we can give it. So how do Terrans go about it?"
"Ummm…I'm not exactly certain how to explain." Spencer said.
"Rule 34." Penelope replied as she picked up her tablet.
"What?"
"Rule 34. If it exists there is porn of it."
Five minutes later, as Spencer was bringing in the tea Essa looked over at him. "Bathroom?"
"Through that door and to the left." Spencer replied. A moment later they heard the other man being noisily sick. Spencer looked to Penelope. "You broke my doctor."
"Ir's boring!" She replied. "It's the most bland, vanilla porn I could find! It's even Missionary! I did that with my boyfriend the other night!"
"Do you require medical assistance?" Essa asked as he returned.
Penelope laughed until she turned around. "Oh, You're serious."
"Yes. That was horrifically violent. I can't imagine they didn't both end up injured. I'm sorry, do you have anything to eat?" He asked Spencer.
"Ice cream." Spencer went to grab a pint, a spoon and a permanent marker. "Just put your initial on the carton. You actually considered that violent, how do you define rape by comparison?"
Essa put his initial on the carton in script. "I'm sorry, something in there didn't translate."
"What?"
"My English isn't that great, and since you're both wearing translators I've been speaking Q. I have a small database on my comtab. You spoke a word that didn't translate."
Spencer reviewed his last few sentences. No way. "Rape?"
"That one, yes."
Their language didn't have a word for rape. Their people didn't have the concept of rape. Could that even be possible? "Okay, what do you call it when someone forces someone else to do something like that?" He pointed to Penelope's tablet, which was paused.
"A war crime. We didn't even know that was possible until the Keresdal Alliance started taking prisoners. That's why we developed an orbital rail gun. Do they do that here?"
Spencer winced. Orbital rail guns could, in theory, hit the megaton range. "It's one of the crimes we investigate. So what does it mean to be a natural child of someone?"
"Your parents did something like that. Although not nearly that roughly. That takes a lot of love and trust on the part of the female partner. It's mostly pretty rare. This is really good by the way." Essa said
"It's called Oat of this Swirled." Penelope said. "Mostly?"
"Well, there are a couple of times when we will do something like that. The first two are deeply personal, almost spiritual type rituals. Um, please do not take offense at this but not something we usually talk about with members of other species…"
"Oh, no, I get it." Penelope said. "It's all good."
"And the other is, um, its not spoken of in polite company…"
"We won't share."
"When the Keresdal Alliance attacked they went after the genetic centers first. They destroyed thousands of years of genetic diversity. And then they started deliberately singling out Noblemen for execution. Most people don't know this but Noblewomen and Companions can choose when they ovulate, so they, um, saved as much genetic diversity as they could. Resulted in quite a baby boom."
"They had to break three thousand years of culture to do it." Spencer said. "I'm sorry."
"I have to respect them for doing that. And be very grateful. I mean, my family is here."
"Ah. Of course." Sometimes it was hard to remember that behind every briefing was a person. "So if it's not like that, what is it? I've only ever learned about…Terran sexuality."
"I was going to ask you about that…."
