Chapter eleven - The lollipop and the lecture of doom

"You did good, kid," says his father, who pats his shoulder encouragingly and his soft words and accompanying touch, draw Ben rudely from his morbid thoughts.

What...?

"You were so brave little Ben..." growls Chewie and ruffles his hair, like he did to him when he was a child, putting static electricity into it, before diving into his pouch to look for something to give him. "You need a reward..."

They...they are joking...right? And aren't they still mad with me...? Why are they acting like I just fell out of tree, scratched my knee or something? Do they have short term memory? Hello, what about everything I did to the galaxy? And to them...?

KR: Haha, brave...if they only knew about the torture you had to endure for the darkside...this was nothing...and well...I've no idea why they are acting like everything is back to normal...that's really weird...

Well, I'm never telling them about the torture...they might freak out...just look how they overreacted over that small scratch...and really aren't they mad at me any more? What happened? This can't be it...right?

KR: This could be psychological warfare...they might be testing you...waiting for you to confess your crimes...

I doubt that's the reason...

To object somewhat to the childish treatment, Ben pulls up his hood so Chewie or no one else can pat him ever again or at least not today, but to Ben's annoyance, his father pulls down the hood, frowns at him and scolds him: "No more hiding from us."

Okay, he's still mad at me...it would be weird if he had forgiven me already...

KR: You haven't even said you're sorry...

I've have.

KR: It wasn't a real sorry...

Maybe...

Ben is very tempted to pull the hood back up, just to show his father, he can't control everything, but as he has no longing to get into stupid tug and a war over it, as it could rip it, he allows his father to win this battle.

"Chewie, has a surprise for you," his father accepts something from Chewie's seemly bottomless pouch and he hands it over to Ben, whose eyes go wide in horror, when he sees that it's a yellow lollipop like you get when you go to the dentist.


"No way! Just how old do you think I am?!" Ben backs away in disgust and everyone in his gang looks speechless over his father's actions.

KR: He gave you candy...? Is he now rewarding you for your bad behavior...? And Chewie, I expected more sense from him...! At least your mom would not like this...

This feels like a punishment...

KR: Lollipop is never a punishment...not even for darkside users...

I hate lollipops...there is nothing, but sugar in them...

KR: I didn't know you were a health freak...

I'm not a health freak! I haven't' even slept in ages, eaten anything or drunk...if anything I am the opposite of one...but I hate, really hate lollipops...

"Just take it, Ben," commands his father, who has had enough of his stubbornness, puts it forcibly his hands and takes the plaster of it. "Eat it."

Ben grumbles, sticks it into his mouth with a frown and crosses his arms.

"And lose that attitude, mister...this minute," barks his father at him and as Ben has no longing to get back to the corner, he apologizes to him by bowing his head: "Sorry, sir...and thanks Chewie..." He fakes a smile and Chewie smiles back.

"Where is your helmet?" asks his father out of the blue, while looking around the room and Ben nearly chokes on the lollipop.


"My helmet...?" Ben coughs and takes out the lollipop of doom.

KR: What's he going to do with it?!

Well, he's not getting it...I can still use it...and he can't know I was hiding it from him earlier...he will be so mad at me...for all the lies...

His father stares at him, as if he's trying to see through him and Ben quickly puts the lollipop back into his mouth, as if that would milds his unforgiving stare somewhat.

"I don't know...I lost it somewhere..." Ben looks innocently to his side, but meets Rey's furious gaze, who knows he's lying and turns back to his father instead.

"You better not be lying to me," barks his father at him and Ben lifts both of his palms up in a surrendering gesture and replies: "I'm not...I swear..."

"Stop lying!" Rey uses the force easily to make the helmet fly from his pouch to her and everyone gawks at her raw display of power, even BB-8, who chirps amazed.

But no one is as stunned as Rey herself, who looks shocked at the helmet in her grasp and looks to Ben for help. "Wha...what just happened?"

"You used the force..." replies Ben, who never in million years expected to say these words while sucking on a lollipop, as it isn't cool to do it that way.

"No I didn't, I just looked intently at your pouch and wanted to get the helmet from it..." says Rey, who still looks surprised over what she had done and everyone else stare at her in wonder.
"That...was using the force..." replies Ben tiredly over having to explain the same thing over and over again.

"Oh...cool...I guess...It's easier than I thought...to be honest..." Rey shrugs and hands the helmet over to his father, who stares between the helmet and his son and does not look happy.

But, Ben is too busy thinking about Rey's power to worry about that now.

KR: She must be using cheat mode or something...

No, she must be the chosen one...there can't be any other explanation...

KR: Next thing you know, she will defeat you in a lightsaber duel...

That's not going to happen...not without training at least...

KR: A newborn could defeat you in a fight...

Hey! That was uncalled for!

KR: Just telling the truth...

Uncle Luke won't even have to teach her a thing. She will teach him, if anything...


"But, didn't it take you like twenty years to learn this stuff?" Rey says a bit snidely which makes Poe, Finn and BB-8 chuckle, but his father looks guilty for some reason and Chewie looks sorry for Ben's humiliation.

KR: Ouch...she certainly burned you there...

"Don't underestimate the power of the lollipop...I mean the force," rebukes Ben her and wishes he could use the said force to make the kriffing lollipop in his mouth disappear, as she or anyone can hardly take him seriously this way and it's distracting him.

KR: No one took you seriously before either...

"I'm terrible sorry...hang on! Why am I saying sorry?! You should be the one saying sorry...you should be ashamed of yourself for continue lying to your dad!" Rey glares at him and wiggles a finger in his direction. "You, naughty, naughty boy." She frowns at him with her hands on her hips.

Ben blushes and enjoys her scolding way too much and desperately wishes, they were somewhere alone together, instead stuck in his father's ships, with his father, two guys he hope will just end up together so Finn will stop pestering his Rey, plus a wookie and a droid watching everything...and some monsters...

"Oh...he's in trouble alright. So...you were hiding it from me..." says his father seething and interrupts Ben's dirty thoughts about Rey before it even begins and jolts him hard to the harsh reality again.

Gleep...

"Sorry...sir..." Ben sucks innocently on the lollipop and evades his father's furious gaze.

KR: Don't throw it into the wall! It will get a scratch!

"Chewie, get rid of it," says father and his command shocks Ben to the core.

KR: Noooo!

Ben takes the lollipop out of his mouth to shout and reach after it. "No! I need it!"

"Why do you need it...? Doesn't matter, you are never getting it back." His father lifts the helmet away from him, but Ben still tries to get it from him.

"No, I need it! I need it!" Ben flaps his arms like a man possessed after his helmet.

"Stop this tantrum!" scolds his father him and Chewie, Poe and Finn look ready to hold Ben down if need to and Rey and BB-8 looks worried over his desperate behavior.

All of a sudden the lollipop goes flying in all that struggle, but before it dramatically hits the ground, Rey captures it in mid air with her force reflexes and hands it over to Ben.

"Here."

"No...you can keep it..." says Ben flustered and Rey looks surprised by that gesture.

"Sure?" She looks between the lollipop and Ben and when he nods, she puts it in her mouth and smiles. "Thanks."

An indirect kiss!

KR: Bet, you want that lollipop back now...

Finn, Poe and BB-8 can't believe what she did and stare at her in great disbelief while Chewie grins and chuckles.

"What...I never waste food." Rey shrugs. "I'm still mad at you." She frowns at Ben, so he won't get any funny ideas and yet he can't take the eyes of how she sucks on the lollipop and imagines that they are kissing instead.

"Do you all want one? You must be hungry," asks his father, who doesn't seem to notice the strange mood at all and Chewie digs into his pouch and fishes up two lollipops and gives one to Poe and one to Ben.

"I don't need a another one!" shouts Ben as if Chewie had just put a needle in him.

"You will take it and like it, you need sugar in your system. Bet you haven't eaten anything in awhile," says his father sternly, puts the dreaded lollipop into his hand and Poe, always so helpful says: "He's right. You nearly passed out a couple of times, probably hasn't slept either..."

"Poe!" snaps Ben at Poe and his father looks at him and frowns in worry along with Chewie and Rey.

Don't tell him! He will force me to take a nap!

"That's not good..." Before Ben knows it, his father has put his hand on his forehead. "You're a bit warm," he remarks and Ben jumps away from his touch as if it burned him.

"Of course I'm warm! My face was under a gas mask for a very long time!" he snaps at him, startling his whole gang and enraging his father with his tone.

Stop treating me like a child!

His father, who has had enough of his attitude, pulls his ear and says sternly: "Do you want to go back to the corner?" He points at the corner Ben did not too long ago vacate.

Not my ear again! And not the kriffing corner!

"No...sir..." Ben grimaces in pain.

Of course not! And please let go of my ear!

"Then don't use that tone on me," his father frowns at him before letting go of him.

"Sorry...sir.." Ben rubs his sore ear while Rey and Chewie frown sternly at him, Poe of course seems to enjoys this along with BB-8 and even Finn has started to see the entertainment in former Kylo Ren getting scolded by his father, as he smirks.

Traitor...

Chewie growls pitifully as he tries to search for something in his pouch and came up empty.

"Oh, sorry, We don't seem to have enough," apologizes his father to his gang, though mostly to Finn as he's left behind.

KR: What is this a children's birthday party?

If it is...it sucks.


"It's okay, we can share. You can start," says Poe to Finn and Finn shrugs a bit disappointed and it about to take it, when Ben gives him his instead and says: "No, you can just have mine..."

"I told you to eat it!" snaps his father at him, angry that he can't even obey him in simplest tasks.

"I'm not hungry." Ben shrugs and his father pokes him sternly in the chest and growls:"Isn't that another one of your...lies...?"

Rey and Chewie give him a stern look as well, while Finn and Poe eat their lollipops in peace and BB-8 looks bored.

What' up with his obsession with giving me a lollipop?

KR: I think he's just trying to be nice...in his own...strange way...

I loved them as a child...I hate them today...they remind me too much of my...lost childhood...

KR: Ah...now I understand the hatred of them...I didn't know you were this deep...

Shut up, Kylo...I don't want to deal with you on top of everything...

KR: Well, I'm not going anywhere...

That is what I was afraid of...

"I don't need one...why are you even carrying lollipops? Were you expecting to meet children...?" asks Ben and hopes that will end his father pitiful attempts once and for all, to give him candy twenty years too late.

KR: That came out wrong...well, he met you...

Shut up! I'm not a child!

KR: What...you are his child...?

Damn, you're right...sorry for shouting at you...

KR: Eh...um...okay...apology accepted...?

And that's the only apology you are ever going to get from me...

KR: Hey, you don't know that...

"No and you shouldn't give children too much candy...the umm...monster that we are transporting happens to like them...beside human meat," his father's clears his throat with a guilty look and Finn squeaks in horror and moves closer to Poe to protection and BB-8 does the same.

Only my dad could find monsters like that, that like strange things...on top of human meat...so typical dad...

"What monster is that?" asks Poe curiously.

"Is there a lollipop monster?" asks Rey intrigued and is probably imagining something from a children's book or a play.

Chewie growls something carelessly.

"Is it a Rancar? No, I don't think they eat lollipops," says Rey, deep in thought.

"Trust me, you don't want to know..." replies his father, who suddenly sees and remembers, he's still holding the helmet of his son dark past, in his hands or thinks it's the perfect distraction from the topic about man eating monsters...but not darkside ones.

He stares fuming between the darkside helmet and his son, as if he just remembering everything bad his son had done these past years and why he was mad at him in the first place.

Oh...no

KR: You should've been thankful for the candy...and leave it at that...

"You are never, ever using this mask ever again. Get rid of it for me." His father hands it over to Chewie this time with success, as Ben doesn't try to get it again and Chewie gives him a salute before heading off with it. "Yes, sir."

"But...we can still use it...in emergencies...I mean..." says Ben pleadingly, who hopes Chewie is not planning on throwing it out with the trash and just hiding it in some storage, so Ben can try to find it later.

"No!" His father turns sharply to him with an uncompromising gaze and pokes him hard in the chest after each word. "You will stop this pretend game at once! Do you hear me?!"

KR: Pretend game?!

And now...the lecture of all lectures begins...


"I said...do you understand me?" asks his father sternly and crosses his arms.

"Yes sir..." replies Ben defeated...for now.

"And you will call me father," says his father in his no nonsense voice and waves a finger at him.

"Yes...father..." Ben had a bit of trouble saying that word after so many years.

KR: He's going to confiscate your saber next...

His father notices how Ben tries in vain to shield his saber and he sighs. "You can keep your saber...for now, as long as you don't harm anyone or...anything with it."

KR: What does he think the saber is...a decoration?!

"Yes..." replies Ben and sighs relieved, that he's allowed to keep something from his past.

KR: You think so too?!

No, you idiot...I'm just playing the part...of an obedient son...

KR: Oh...hope you are good actor then...

"What did I say?" His father frowns at him.

KR: Apparently not...

I'm done acting...

"Yes...father..." replies Ben as sincerely as he can.

"So you have really defected from the First Order?" asks his father.

"Yes...father"

"And you have...finally...come back to light-side?"

"Yes...father..."

"Even though you tried to kill me...us?" Han's gaze grows even sterner.

Chewie who has returned from doing something awful to his helmet, growls. "That wasn't nice little Ben!"

"It was a...eh...mistake. Sorry...father..." replies Ben and blushes over being reminded of his stupidity.

"Why?" asks his father.

"Why...did I try to kill you...?"

Please don't let me answer that...!

Han's glare intensifies, something Ben didn't think was even possible."Why come back now?"

"I want to come home...I'm on my way to mom...she knows I'm coming...we have the map to uncle Luke and are on our way to the resistance."

Not you! So can you just drop it! I don't need your help...It's too late...and I already told you all this stuff!

KR: Yeah, as Ken Rolo, not as Ben Solo...

His father half-smiles and seems to be very pleased with that answer. "That's good kid. That's really good..." He circles around him till he stands in front of him once more.

Maybe he will let me off the hook with that? Perhaps he will send me and the others off in a escape pod to the nearest planet, to find another ship. That would be for the best...

KR: Haha, in your dreams.

His father taps his foot with a folded arms and glowers at Ben, whole suddenly feels so physically small in his presence, like a little kid again.

Oh...no now comes the lecture of a lifetime! Ben braces himself by shutting his eyes, in the vain attempt that would lower the volume of the yelling he was about to be subjected to, rightfully so, though he thinks Kylo Ren deserves it more. But he had hidden himself deep inside his subconsciousness, far from the wrath of Han Solo.

That cowardly traitor...


"You know how much pain you've caused your mother...no us...not to mention your poor uncle!"

Since it was a rhetorical question, Ben decides he's didn't have to answer it. Despite that fact Han Solo is still looking for an answer.

"Well, do you?"

"No..I mean yes, sir..."

I don't want to be reminded of that...can't we just begin anew...? Pretend my fall never happened?

KR: If you hadn't played that stupid survival game, he might have...

"Look at me, when I'm speaking to you."

Ben forces himself to open his eyes, meeting his father furious gaze. He doesn't understand why he can't just face him head on. It is ridiculous, he is a grown man, a former dark lord. And yet his father scolding make him feel ten all over again. It was oddly reminiscent of the time he tried to steal the Millennium falcon to make sure his father would never leave him or his mother again. That his father was angry at that time when he caught him in the act, was an understatement.

Oh, no! I'm not going to think about what he did to me then...!

"I see that actions speak louder than words with you, son." His father walks dangerously over to him, but Ben backs away in fright.

"What are you planning on doing?" He looks desperately at Rey, Finn, Poe, BB-8 and Chewie, who are all witnesses to his scolding.

Poe snickers with a happy grin on his face despite his apology from earlier, Fin looks a bit dumbstruck over witnessing former Kylo Ren get a harsh scolding from his father, Rey looks a tiny bit sympathetic, but mostly angry along with Chewie, though Chewie also gives him a very stern look and BB-8 chirps something evilly.

Why do I always have audience for everything I do now? I don't even like crowds...in fact I hate them!

"You know what. You've had it coming in a long time," says his father in stern voice as he keeps lessen the distance between them.

KR: True..

Ben backs away as he whips his head between his father and the audience. "What here..now...I mean you can't!"

I'm an adult!

KR: Not true...

"And why is that? You think you don't deserve it for your past behavior?" His father asks mockingly as they both know that is not true and all the others shake their head sternly.

"At least not in front of them..." Ben says pleadingly, hoping for some appeal and his father turns to the others, who shrugs and he turns back to him and says matter-of-factly:"I don't think they mind."

"Well, I will!" shouts Ben, furious that no one seems to care what he wants anymore, as his father at last closes the gap between them.

"Stop whining." His father wraps his arms tightly around him and pulls him close and a warmth spreads into Ben's chest, he hasn't felt in years.

KR: Did he just...?!

Hug me...?!


Next up: Father's embrace...