Dating Bella was eye-opening for Chrys, especially as they approached the holidays.

The first thing she did, after their second date, was tell Bella the truth about almost everything. She told her about meeting Sam, about Lucifer, and Dean, and the apocalypse. Bella took it mostly in stride, and while Chrys wasn't absolutely positive that Bella believed her, she didn't worry overmuch about it. She had been mostly honest, that was what was important.

She did not, however, tell Bella that Sam was her soulmate, or about the baby. Those things were Chrys's pain alone, and she wouldn't share them with anyone.

But being in a relationship with someone you didn't have to be around twenty-four-seven was a new experience for Chrys. It taught her that she was not always confrontational and bitchy, just mostly. And, since Bella was too sweet-natured for her own good, that tended to balance out nicely.

For her part, Bella was sweet, patient, and lovely. She pretended to ignore when Chrys had moments of pure panic, guilt, or sadness, and was just there for her. She was a constant comforting presence, and while Chrys wasn't sure how to handle that, she did her damnedest.

"You'll just come with me to my family's Thanksgiving."

Chrys blinked, then felt herself blush a little. "Will that be okay?"

Bella laughed from the little table in Chrys's kitchen. "Of course it will be, C. They'll love you."

Chrys stirred the noodles, thinking. "And they won't mind the whole girl-on-girl thing?"

Bella chuckled. "No, they won't. They've never cared."

Chrys finally smiled. "Okay, that sounds great, then."


For the first time in her life, Chrys had somewhere to go on Thanksgiving. In an absolutely unforeseeable turn of events, she had three places to go on Thanksgiving.

In the morning, they went to Bella's family.

"Bella! And this must be Chrys!" Bella's mother said excitedly, pulling the front door open and beaming. "Come in, come in! Let's have a look at you!"

Chrys smiled nervously and stepped in behind Bella, essentially using her girlfriend as a shield against her nerves. Oh, Jesus, I've never met parents. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

"Mom, chill," Bella said with a chuckle. "You're going to scare her away."

Chrys felt herself blush furiously, and wished she was almost literally anywhere else.

But Cheryl Pangborn just smiled and patted Chrys on the arm on the way back to the kitchen. "Oh, she doesn't look like she's going anywhere, and I'm not that scary."

Bella followed her mother, and Chrys stuck to her like glue. Cheryl bustled around the big, airy kitchen, making pies and starting to prepare the turkey. "So, how did you girls meet?" she asked happily.

Bella opened her mouth, but Cheryl interrupted. "Chrys, I want to hear Chrys's side of the story."

Chrys almost groaned out loud, but managed to contain herself. She smiled nervously again. "I, uh, I visited Bella's bar, and it kind of went south from there."

Cheryl smiled. "Was it love at first sight? Did you see her across the bar and just have to have her?" Her voice was soft and romantic, her eyes sparkling.

Unable to contain herself, Chrys snorted. "I saw her being harassed from across the bar and took it upon myself to handle it. So, in a sense…"

Bella laughed and wrapped an arm around Chrys's waist. Chrys's arm automatically draped across Bella's shoulders, pulling her close. "She's my knight in shining armor," the shorter woman said, beaming up at Chrys.

Chrys couldn't help leaning down and pressing her lips against Bella's. Bella sighed and kissed back, and Chrys lost herself in it for a moment.

"Aw, that's so sweet!" Cheryl crowed.

Bella pulled away, and Chrys was amused to see her blushing furiously. "Hush, Mom," her girlfriend said softly. Chrys laughed.


Next, they saw Kevin, Serene, and Jesse.

Just like the first time she'd come, Jesse ran out the door to greet them. "Chrys!"

This time, Chrys was able to swing him around in the air with actual enthusiasm. "Jesse!" She pressed a kiss onto the top of his head. "How's it hangin', babe?"

He grinned and pressed his face into her stomach, his arms firmly around her waist. "I missed you."

She smiled and ran her hand through his hair. "Missed you, too." She turned and smiled at Bella. "Jesse, I want you to meet someone. This is Bella, she's my girlfriend."

Jesse nodded. "It's nice to meet you," he said politely.

Bella smiled and held out her hand. "It's an honor, Jesse. I've heard a lot about you."

He nodded, then looked up at Chrys and grinned again. "Kev will give us some cookies when Serene isn't watching if we hurry."

"I heard that!"


Bella was a hit with Kevin, Serene, and Jesse, just like Chrys knew she would be. Her sweet demeanor would make anyone love her. Chrys pushed the thought away and enjoyed the afternoon, trying not to think about loving Bella.

Chrys knew she loved Bella already. She was patient and warm, it was easy to love her. Chrys just didn't think she'd ever be in love with her. Chrys didn't have it in her to be in love with someone anymore. She'd told Bella she was empty, and she had meant it. Sam had taken that part of her with him into the cage.

She forcefully pushed those thoughts away again, unwilling to think about how unfair it was to Bella.


Bella watched Chrys when they ended the day at Dean and Lisa's. Everyone was sleepy and full of food, so they sat in the living room and just talked while Ben and Jesse (who they had borrowed for the evening) bonded and played.

Chrys had been mostly okay all day, but here with Dean, Bella could see her defenses start to fall. She was both more of herself and less, and Bella thought there was really no better way to describe Chrys than that. She was all of herself and none of herself all at once, as nonsensical as that was.

Bella's family adored Chrys. Her unwillingness to take crap from Bella's brothers, and her automatic offer to help with cleanup, had her family eating out of the palm of Chrys's hand in just a few hours. Bella knew it would be that way, and nothing made her happier.

Kevin and Serene had been lovely, warm people, who had accepted her presence without a word. They had invited her into their home, made her feel welcome, and Bella already liked them immensely.

But Dean and Lisa were a little different.

Dean more so than Lisa. Lisa was happy and polite and clearly head over heels for Dean, which was a lovely sight to see. Dean, however, had the same shadows in his eyes that Chrys did. Bella watched them hug fiercely, clutching at each other before they released. It made Bella's heart ache, but she didn't say a word about it.

For someone who was dead, Sam was a pretty big presence in the Winchester-Braeden home that night. Far from resenting it, Bella wished there was anything she could do to help. She wished that she could erase the pain there.

She was still reflecting on it as they drove back to Kevin and Serene's home to drop Jesse off. He was in Chrys's lap in the passenger seat, deeply asleep while Chrys ran her fingers through his hair.

Bella met Chrys's eyes briefly. "Good day?" The question had become kind of a code, a way to check on Chrys to make sure her emotional state had been all right.

Chrys smiled sadly. "Good day."


When they made the same rounds a month later for Christmas, they had been dating for a few months, and Bella was able to admit to herself that she was in love with Chrys. Not out loud, and not to Chrys, just to herself. She didn't want to spook the poor thing, and Chrys was remarkably easy to spook.

Bella also knew, deep down where a person always knows, that Chrys was not in love with her.

And she was okay with that. She knew Chrys had lied about a few things, or at least omitted a few things, when she told Bella about her life. Bella suspected that those few things were what made it hard for Chrys to sleep at night, and what made her aggressive and bitchy on occasion. Bella didn't mind the bitchiness, she actually kind of liked it.

So Bella just loved Chrys the best she could, and didn't mind the parts of her girlfriend that weren't hers and never would be.


On Christmas night, when they got back to her apartment, Chrys lay awake, spooned against Bella's back as she slept soundly. She stroked Bella's leg softly, and her mind came ruthlessly back to whether or not she loved Bella.

She knew she did. She knew it in the way she sought Bella's hand when they were standing next to one another. She knew it because she savored the way Bella's head tucked neatly beneath her chin when Chrys was standing behind her, so she could wrap her arms around her and rest her head on top of her girlfriend's. She knew it in the way that waking up next to Bella had become a relief instead of a hardship during those first several months.

But she also knew she'd never be in love with Bella. And it broke her heart a little, because she suspected Bella had fallen in love with her.

Chrys drifted to sleep that night with tears in her eyes.


Weeks later, Chrys rang Dean and Lisa's doorbell. Lisa answered with a grin. "You're here!"

Chrys smiled and hugged her before going inside. Bella followed, chatting easily and cheerfully with Lisa. They were there to celebrate Ben's birthday, though Lisa claimed they were there to keep her sane more than anything else.

Dean came into the living room from the kitchen and grinned. "My two favorite lesbians," he said easily, kissing Chrys on the cheek.

She rolled her eyes and smacked him on the arm, even as she kissed his cheek back. "Shut up, asshole," she muttered.

He chuckled and ducked her second hit to hug Bella. She smiled and let him, winking at Chrys over his shoulder. "You're incorrigible, Dean," she said softly.

"Chrys!"

Chrys turned and laughed when Ben ran into her, flinging his arms around her waist. "Hey, birthday boy, how we doing?"

He gave her a toothy smile. "What did you get me?"

"Ben," Lisa said severely.

"Manners first, dude," Dean said just as severely.

Chrys smiled at the parent in Dean's voice, even though it pinged her heart. He would have been a good uncle.

She ignored the thought to look back down at Ben, who was looking up at her. "Hi, Chrys, how are you?" he asked politely.

She laughed a little and hugged him close. "I'm doing great, especially since your present is out in the car."

"Yeah!"


Dean watched Chrys lean down and whisper something in Bella's ear. The shorter woman laughed and went up on tiptoe to kiss Chrys.

"They look happy," Lisa said, leaning into him.

Dean automatically wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "They look happy," he agreed softly, raising his beer to take a long pull.

She looked up at him. "What does that mean?"

He shrugged. Dean had gotten good at reading people's emotions. He had done it as a child with his father, as a younger adult with Sam, and now with Chrys.

She smiled a lot, and laughed, too. She was extremely affectionate with Bella, always pulling her close to wrap her arms around the redhead and rest her chin on top of her head. She seemed warm and relaxed and happy.

But Dean saw the shadows in Chrys's eyes. She saw the way her gaze lingered on Lisa and Ben, then pulled away to try to focus on anything else. He saw the nanosecond of hesitation before she touched Bella. And the way that, if something upset her, her eyes sought out his, seeking reassurance, reaffirmation. We're here. We're normal. It's okay.

"Just a feeling."


As winter died down and temperatures got warmer, Chrys was starting to find it more and more inconvenient to go back and forth from Bella's apartment to her own. She found that, no matter what she wanted to wear, it was always at the other location.

So when Bella suggested they move in together, she didn't hesitate to say yes.

They decided to move into Bella's place, since it was bigger. It didn't take very long until the only things to move were the sofa (Bella's was bigger, so they would send that back to the thrift store) and Chrys's bed (which they were keeping, because it was bigger and nicer). Chrys was fine until her apartment was empty.

Then, of course, she wasn't.


She was sitting in the middle of what used to be her bedroom, tears streaming down her face, the rest of her body still. She heard Bella come in, but just stayed staring at the wall, silently weeping.

"All righty, we're almost-" Bella's sweet voice cut off. "C? Sweetheart, what's wrong?" She entered Chrys's field of vision, kneeling in front of her, concern written across her pretty face. "Chrys, what happened?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

Bella studied her for a long time, then, "Is it because you're leaving here, or because you're moving in with me?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know," she whispered brokenly.

Bella rolled to her knees and cupped Chrys's face. Despite herself, Chrys tilted into the touch. "Chrys, sweetheart, he would want you to be happy." They both knew Sam's name would make the situation exponentially worse.

Chrys nodded. "I know," she whispered. "I just…"

Bella leaned forward and pressed her lips to Chrys's. "Shh, it's okay, C, I understand."

That pinged at Chrys's heart, and she whimpered. "Bells, it's not-"

Bella interrupted her with a forceful kiss. She slowly, gently guided Chrys back until she was hovering over her. Chrys reached up and looped her arms around Bella's neck, kissing her back hesitantly. When Bella's tongue ran along her bottom lip, she gave up and opened for her.

Bella's soft, warm hand landed at Chrys's waist, then slid beneath her shirt and moved up to cup her breast gently, thumbing her nipple. Chrys whimpered and arched her back, feeling Bella smile against her mouth. "Let me make it better," Bella whispered, "Let me take your mind off of it."

Chrys nodded, and Bella peppered kisses down her jawline and neck, until she was at the collar of Chrys's shirt. She leaned back and sat up, and Chrys shivered at the hunger in Bella's green eyes. Chrys sat up, stripped her shirt off, and tossed it into the corner.

When she lay back again, Bella's mouth was on her in an instant, taking a nipple and rolling it gently in that wet heat, nipping just enough to make Chrys moan. Her hand travelled down to Chrys's hip, massaging gentle, comforting circles there. "You're so pretty, Chrys," Bella murmured against her skin. "So pretty, all the time."

Chrys whimpered again as Bella kissed her way down her flat stomach, pausing to lave at her navel, then down to her waist. She ran her tongue along the waistband of the leggings blocking her way, then looked up to meet Chrys's gaze. The heat there made Chrys shudder again.

Bella smiled and slipped her fingers under the leggings, then slowly, gently, lovingly, pulled them off. Chrys couldn't stop the whimpers in the back of her throat as she tugged them off completely. Bella took Chrys's ankles in her hands and tenderly spread her legs, settling between them with a loving smile. "You're so responsive, C," she husked, leaning down to press kisses in a line from her knee up to her inner thigh. "It's amazing, it's so fucking hot."

She sank her tongue into Chrys without warning, making her cry out and shudder at Bella's heat on her. She reached down to thread her fingers through Bella's red hair and resisted the urge to buck into her mouth. "Fuck!"

Bella took Chrys's clit into her mouth, running her tongue against the sensitive nub, making heat coil tightly in her at an incredibly fast rate. "Oh, God, Bella!" She cried out as Bella sank one, then two fingers into her, curling to hit her g-spot.

Bella hummed into her, the vibration making her toes curl. "Hmm, say my name, C, let's hear it, lover." Then she sucked hard, making Chrys see stars.

"Bella!" she screamed her name over and over as she came, and Bella didn't let up, eating her through her first orgasm and sending her hurtling to her second one. Chrys whimpered and tried to scoot away, but Bella's soft, gentle, authoritative hand on her leg had her stopping and taking whatever her woman gave her.

Bella smiled into her. "Good, good, just stay still, sweetheart," she murmured, then went back to work.

Chrys was moaning, her long legs trembling, her hips bucking helplessly up into Bella's mouth. This was so out of the ordinary for them. Chrys was more dominant, Bella softer and sweeter and naturally submissive. This was… A switch. It was an incredible turn on.

"Oh, fuck, Bella, please, baby, I can't- Fuck!" She screamed as she came again, writhing beneath her redheaded goddess.

Bella licked her gently through the aftershocks, then sat up and wiped her mouth with a grin. "Feel better?"

Chrys, lying in a stupor, grunted.

Bella laughed. "Good. Then get dressed and let's get out of here."

Chrys frowned and sat up on her elbows. "But, Bells, what about you?"

The gentle smile on Bella's face made tears prick at Chrys's eyes again. "Come on, C, let's go home."

As she got dressed again, Chrys wondered how she'd gotten so lucky.


**This chapter was so fucking hard to write. I have no idea why, but I fought with this one. So if you think it's subpar, I agree.
**Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.