AN: Thank you as always for the support! You guys rock!
So sorry for the delay. I thought I would never finish this chapter and as it kept getting longer, I had to divide it in four parts...but that means that the next chapter shouldn't be too far behind...
More of some weird Kylo dream-memory therapy (he of course has a hidden agenda)...
Chapter nineteen - Dark dreams and lies
KR: Your minute is up.
Just a few more...
KR: NO! We don't have time to wait forever for you to get ready...and ready for what! What are you so afraid of?
I think I know...what happened next...
KR: So do I! But you can't escape this memory...dream...whatever. We have to see this through!
You are right...let's go...
KR: Finally! No...wait...I just got a brilliant idea! Wait...here...
I don't like the sound of that. Wait for what? Did you run away? Can you do that? What are these rustling sounds? Are you rummaging inside my head?! HEY! You are violating my privacy!
KR: You dumbass, you can't hide anything from me...and you will like this. Trust me...
And now I got even more worried...what are you looking for...anyway? Why does it sound you are moving cds around? Are you looking for...sad background music? Such a jerk...
KR: No, you idiot. No patience..finally, found it. Here it comes...and I will just add a little...
Don't add anything! Just play it! Show it...whatever!
KR: You will change your attitude after you have seen this...trust me...
I seriously doubt that...
KR: I find your lack of faith disturbing...
You are disturbing...
KR: Such a child, just watch...
I'm watching...
KR: Closely...
"Ben, come out and say goodbye."
His uncle called this so sweetly that Little Ben was tricked into getting out of the Falcon, though he most wanted to hide in there until they had left the academy...for good.
Ben had hoped he could have Chewie as his backup, but as the Wookie wanted to take a power nap before they left, his backup plan was shouting goodbye from the safety of the lounge. He had even taken off his father's jacket, so he could move more easily and jump straight back inside if his uncle showed any intention of snatching him away, though of course, his father would never allow his uncle to do that, so why was he so worried? Why did he still have this...horrible bad feeling?
"Can we go home now?" Ben peered outside and was shocked to see his father's horrified expression. "Dad! What's wrong?!"
His father looked ashen, frozen like after he had been scolded harshly by Ben's mother and the sight scared him, since Ben didn't know anyone could make his father look like that except her.
A protective instinct rose up in him, so despite his better judgement to not leave the safety of the Falcon, he ran outside, shook his little fist at his uncle and shouted at him from the ramp. "What did you do to him! I am warning you I will burn this place to the ground if you won't let me leave!" He stamped his little feet on the ramp in pure rage.
"BEN!" His father's angry shout startled Ben to the core, though at the same time he was relieved that his father showed some life...too bad he did that to berate him.
"Apologize now. You never say...or do things like that...no matter how angry...you are," reprimanded his father him and looked shocked to see that amount of anger in him.
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean that...I'm sorry..." Ben backtracked, hung his head in shame, but his uncle sighed and said: "I know, child. But you must control your feelings..."
He then turned to his father with a knowing look. "See, I told you that there was still way too much darkness in him."
"I know..." His father looked crestfallen, as if Ben has just ruined every chance of him ever getting away from there.
Ben felt cold when he saw the hopelessness in his eyes. "No, I didn't mean that! It was Kylo. It wasn't me!"
"Son..." his father looked torn and checked to see if his uncle had changed his mind.
"Please..." begged Ben, both his father and uncle.
"I'm sorry. It is for his future...and the galaxy. You understand what you must do," said his uncle sadly as his father strode toward Ben, who didn't know whether to run or stay.
"I do." Ben's father picked him up from the ramp and put him back inside of the Falcon.
"Han...what are you doing?" yelled his uncle, like his father had just put a thermal detonator in the ship, instead of a precious package.
"The right thing." His father picked up Ben's duffle bag from the wet ground and threw it to Ben who also was shocked over this development, yet still managed to catch it thanks to his force reflexes and put it safely away.
Huh, what's happening?
KR: It's a surprise, just wait.
What are you...?
KR: You will see!
"Are you serious? After everything we talked about? You know what you are risking," said his uncle desperately, as he stalked after his father into the Falcon, who picked Ben up on his way and held him protectively, as he carried him to the sofa in the lounge, as if Luke planned on snatching him away.
"I will take that risk. I am not leaving him here," replied his father in his no argument voice.
Seriously, what is happening?
KR: Kid, wait.
Kid? You don't get to call me a kid!
KR: Just wait.
If this is some kind of joke...I will kick your...
KR: Be quiet.
"Don't be so dramatic, what do you think Leia will say?" Luke regarded Ben's father with worry as he tried one last time to reason with him, however, his father answered confidently, as he put Ben to lie down on the sofa beside the hole chess. "She will be happy. Now, go to sleep, kid."
He ruffled Ben's hair and tucked him under a blanket, Ben had been napping under while he waited for his father to return, but as Ben couldn't fall asleep until he knew what was going on, he stubbornly stayed awake, despite his father's command.
His uncle's shoulders slumped down when he at last admitted defeat. "Of course you are right...I guess it's worth a shot...but please don't come running to me, if all this fails." He scowled at Ben's father as if he was planning on dumping all the responsibility on him if Ben went dark, but Han only smiled and patted his shoulder.
"We won't, he is our responsibility...you will visit right?" He asked as normally as if was inviting Luke to a family barbeque, since he was so tired of all this light and dark force none sense.
"Whenever I can...give my sister, my best regards...and say that I am sorry that I couldn't help. Tell Chewie, I said hi."
"Will do," his father nodded. "Bye Luke."
"Bye, Han, Ben." His uncle waved to Ben as he exited the Falcon, who gave him a weak wave back.
"Bye...uncle..." Ben still couldn't believe what was happening, was this all one dream? Was he really going home?
Kylo...?
KR: Just wait until you see the end...
The end...?
As soon as the ship door closed behind his uncle, his father went straight to the cockpit.
Ben followed fast on his heels, despite the fact he was supposed be sleeping, but there was no way he could do that with all these questions swirling in his head. "Dad...what's happening?"
"We are going home." His father sat down in the cockpit and switched the controls on.
"Really...no strings attached?" Ben sat down in the co-pilot seat as the Falcon came to life with its sounds and lights, but stiffened when he saw that his uncle still hadn't left the premise and was, in fact, watching him below with his most teacher strict expression, which made him gulp as he was supposed to be sleeping not wide awake in the cockpit.
He sank down in his seat to hide from him, even though his uncle wasn't his master anymore.
"No strings. Where is Chewie?" asked his father who didn't seem to care in the least, that Ben was disobeying him or hadn't noticed and he had barely finished his query, when loud snoring came from the crew chambers.
"Do you want me to go and wake him?" Ben stood up, but his father stopped him by shaking his head and smiled smugly as if he was getting the best idea of the century. "No, no, let him sleep. You will take over his duties, I will guide you through it."
"Me...?" Ben's jaw dropped and he blinked in confusion.
What? Since when?
KR: Just listen to your father, then you will understand...
"You will be the pilot of the Falcon one day, so you better start learning the basics. Don't worry, you will do fine," said his father and smiled, but Ben frowned because he felt as he was about to be a victim of the biggest and meanest prank ever and his worries did not dissipate when he checked out the view shield and saw that his uncle was still down there watching...and grinning.
When his uncle noticed his gaze, he spoke to him through a mindlink. "Good luck..."
I hate it when he does that...
KR: You got rid of that mind connection when you turned to the darkside...not that he has tried to contact you after you returned to the...blegh...lightside...
Thank the maker...I have nothing to say to him...
KR: Likewise he has nothing to say to you...except shouting...
I will shout at you...what in Sith is this?!
KR: So impatient...
"Are you being sarcastic?" replied Ben through the mindlink.
"No, I mean it. Maybe this is for the best, you have a long bloodline of pilots in your family. Perhaps being a Jedi was the wrong career choice for you. You will be fine," said his uncle in his best uncle voice.
KR: The only right career path is being a Sith.
Of course it is...except the Sith don't exist anymore...
KR: I will revive them! And will revive grandfather!
Please don't turn grandpa into a zombie...
KR: I'm never allowed to do anything fun...
"You really mean it?" asked Ben surprised over his uncle's sudden change of heart.
"Yes, now listen to your father before he changes his mind..." said his uncle now in a fatherly voice.
"About leaving me here?" Ben grew scared when he was certain this was in fact the final test he had to overcome to be able to leave this awful place and he looked at his father, who had no idea he was having a conversation with his uncle in his mind and was therefore clueless to his worried gaze.
"No, my silly child. About allowing you to fly...this time, he will put you back to bed if you can't stay awake for this." His uncle pointed at his father who had at last had noticed Luke below, looked between him and his son and frowned at Luke for staying and confusing his son.
"Oh...you're right." Ben exhaled relieved that this was not some test.
"Take care kid," said his uncle as he waved physically goodbye to him and his father, who waved a little annoyed back, that Luke was still watching them even though they had long since said there farewells.
"Erm...you too...bye," said Ben like he was buzzing into a comlink and hoped that would close their connection.
"Farewell," said his uncle, who of course had to have the last word as he slowly walked towards the academy.
"Are you okay?" asked his father when his uncle had at last left, both his mind and the ground.
KR: You never are...always with your head in the clouds...a true Skywalker...
Stop interrupting...whatever this is...and I am Solo...as well...
KR: That's what you think...
What?
KR: You will find out...
Which means, you don't know anything...
KR: Hey! I know a lot of stuff! It's just more fun having to discover them, instead of me, you know just telling you...you know what they say, show don't tell...
You make no sense...
"Maybe you should just go to sleep..." began his father when Ben still just stared into space, but Ben cut him off by saying: "What made you change your mind?"
"About what? Piloting? This is nothing dangerous. Trust me." His father smirked, even though he was the one who had told Ben it was too dangerous for him to learn to fly yet.
"No..you were going to leave me behind...weren't you?" Ben frowned at him accusingly.
His father exhaled tiredly, picked him up from the co-pilot seat, and had him sit down on his lap, facing him. "Nothing changed my mind, in fact, I decided to act on that instead of a coldhearted logic." He flicked his forehead teasingly despite the serious topic.
"That doesn't make any sense, "said Ben as he rubbed the sore spot and his father kissed that same spot and said solemnly. "What I mean is that I followed my heart..."
"Heart?" Ben gawked at him, as if his father had learned a new word. "You?"
Heart? Really? He said that...?
KR: I have a heart...
No one asked you.
KR: Always so mean to me...
"I have a heart, thank you very much," his father frowned at him insulted and pinched his ear once lightly.
"I know, but you said it like this was some sappy story...that's not like you," corrected Ben quickly, before his father's mood worsened and his father's frown disappeared and he nodded.
"True, but to tell you the truth kid, it really broke me to see you break down like that...I decide that nothing that made my son feel that way, could be good for him...I'm not making that mistake again. Now listen, the first thing you do is..." he turned him towards the controls and pointed at them as he began teaching him how each and every one worked.
Is he really teaching me how to fly? For real? I don't remember that...
KR: This did not happen...
Then why do I have a memory of this...seriously, what is going on?
KR: Just watch.
At last they were in space and as the planet with the Academy went further away, so did Ben's worries. He sank down into the co-seat, as if it had taken every energy in his body to make the ship take off, even though he did the smallest of task and didn't really do anything except listen to his father's instructions to the latter, which had surprisingly only been delivered in a calm and collected manner, instead of in his normal panicky way, like they were about to crash any minute even though they weren't even airborne.
"You did good, kid." His father smiled proudly at him and petted his head as a reward, while Ben watched as the planet became a small dot in the background.
Finally, he was leaving his past behind, but what did that mean for his future?
"Will I go back to school?" Ben turned to his father and tried not let his disgust show over the possibility of returning there.
"Would you hate that?" asked his father softly, who knew how he felt about the place.
"Kind of...but that beats the academy...or I am not sure..." Ben shrugged, when in truth he would hate having to return to that old life, where he was bullied for being different and where his parents were always away.
"Well, you are not going back to school, kid," said his father firmly.
"I'm not?" asked Ben baffled and tried to come up with another kind of life in head.
"You are dropping out, you will stay with me," said his father as if that was his only real choice.
Huh?
KR: Sigh...it's your dream life.
A dream...?
"What does that mean?" asked Ben, both excited and fearful over how his life was about to change drastically and then a horrible thought popped into his head. What if his mom and dad had gotten divorced and he was in the middle of a custody battle with them? That would explain why he was going behind his mother's back to get him.
"Will I see mom?" asked Ben in a small voice.
His father just stared at him and then he scoffed. "Don't be silly, of course you will, I would never dream of keeping you away from her. Your head sometimes...what I mean is that you get to see the world, this is the best way to learn anyway...instead of in some stuffy classroom," His father said the last part scornfully, like school was just waste of time and credits and Ben's eyes lit up with enthusiasm when he heard that.
"Really...I get to do that...?" He grinned at his father as if this would be the best life in the whole galaxy and he jumped up and down in his seat.
"But, there will some rules kid..." His father gestured him to sit down and continued when Ben had obediently sat down again. "You can't just do whatever you want...and I will teach you some stuff..." His father went into his pocket and picked up Ben's wooden toy falcon he had confiscated earlier. "Like flying...for real this time." He handed Ben the toy Falcon, who accepted it gratefully that he got his birthday present back, but then he got a sinking feeling and dropped it into his lap with a dramatic thud.
Like mom would ever agree to this...
KR: What part of a DREAM life, don't you understand?
"How does that sound, kid...? You don't like it?" asked his father worried when he saw how Ben suddenly stared ahead with a doomed look on his face.
"Of course...I love...all this...but will mom agree? Won't she want to send me in some prestigious school?" muttered Ben into his chest, annoyed that he got his hopes up and wanted to cry in frustration. "Or worse send me straight back here...?"
KR: Even your young self is a pessimist...
I'm used to my dreams being crushed...
KR: So dark...but not this time! Trust me!
His father lifted his chin up. "That's never going to happen. Don't worry. I will convince her this is the best way...speaking of..." He let go of him as large footsteps approached them and for a moment, Ben expected to see his mother appear in the doorway through hyperspace to yell at his father for suggesting something so preposterous, but instead Chewie appeared normally and he looked very troubled for a different reason.
"Han, why didn't you wake me...?" He stopped when he saw who was in his usual seat. "Did he fly?" Chewie gaped and pointed at Ben as if he was a bird without wings who had suddenly taken flight.
"Yeah..." Ben ran his hand through his hair in a timid manner as he felt a little bad for taking Chewie's spot.
"Of course," said his father matter-of-factly, as if this was far from an unusual sight.
Chewie looked between, father and son, out the view shield and when he saw nothing abnormal and there were in fact airborne, he smiled pleased.
"Well done." He attacked Ben's hair playfully and since his big hairy paws, put static electricity into it and ruined it, Ben exclaimed in horror:"Chewie!"
He pouted and smoothed his hair, however, he also smiled over the uncommon praise.
"But it's way past his bedtime..." began his father and as if on cue Chewie went to fetch the blanket from the sofa in the lounge and returned shortly and draped it over Ben's shoulders, who looked up at him and sulked when he got the message clear.
"Get some sleep kid...your mom will be very unhappy if you arrive to her sleep deprived...you know that," said his father sternly, when Ben still didn't move.
"I thought I was your co-pilot...or an extra...one..." Ben crossed his arms defiantly as he was tired of being treated like a small child and annoyed that he only got one small chance to prove them wrong.
"You are...my precious little co-pilot, he's my big one," His father picked him up and handed over to Chewie. "However sleep is also important. You have to take care of your health...as well as the ship."
"Your father is right," replied Chewie, while Ben was still mulling over his father's words and put him down on the floor as he took the co-pilot seat in his place.
"I told you there would be rules, that means bedtime," said his father sternly when Ben still hadn't left the cockpit and shook a finger at him, as if that gesture would help to make him listen and Ben at last admitted defeat.
"Okay, I see your point...but can I sleep in here? I don't want to be alone...I am so afraid to wake up and nothing of this happened..." He looked pleadingly at his father, as if he was afraid that by stepping over the threshold into the lounge that Falcon would disappear and he would be once more back in the Academy.
See...so used to...having my dreams crushed...
KR: You...poor...poor thing...
His father and Chewie exchanged sad looks as they finally understood his worries.
"I don't see why not," growled Chewie and his father nodded in agreement.
"Of course kid...as long as you are comfortable..." His father frowned after a quick inspection around the small cockpit when he realized there were only two uncomfortable seats in the back and no place to lay down.
Chewie saw the same problem and he looked down at the floor, as if he was trying to see if he could fit a small divan in there.
"I am always comfortable with you," said Ben in his sweetest voice to his father, who looked stunned by his proclamation and Chewie looked equally as surprised by it.
"Aww...kid, come here..." His father, who was easily won over by his charms, opened his arms up for him and Ben climbed onto his lap and snuggled into his chest like he was a pillow. "There is a long way home." His father wrapped the blanket around him. "Get some sleep...you're safe now...my son..." He kissed him on top of his head, as Ben drifted to sleep as he finally felt at peace...
KR: So cute...
What in the...?
KR: You don't think this is cute?
Of course! I am not heartless...you are!
KR: I told you I am not heartless...I even made this for you...
Made...? I didn't know you could make stuff...I mean what was that?!
KR: For the record, I'm very creative. I can even bake.
Bake...? How can you even see through the helmet?
KR: Idiot, I don't use the helmet when I do that.
But...?
KR: No more questions. Just be patient. It's not over yet. The best part is still to come...you are about to meet your mom again!
Mom...? But she didn't want to see me...right...? I mean she forbid dad to go and get me...from my training against the darkside...and she send me away...
KR: Well...it doesn't matter here! Just watch!
Mom...I'm coming...home...?
Next up: The dreamlike family reunion...
