Chrys was trying to research the "Eve-Mother-of-All-Evil" thing while lounging on the couch when Sam walked in. She looked up and smiled as he lifted her legs, quickly sat beneath them, and let them fall over his lap again. "Where's Bobby?" he asked, stroking her knee.

"In town," Dean said without looking up. "Supply run."

Sam frowned. "In this?" It was storming like crazy. The rain hitting the window behind the couch was almost too loud to be heard over.

Dean looked up and grinned. "Yeah, man's a hero. We were officially out of hunter's helper." He gestured to the empty whiskey bottle.

Chrys rolled her eyes. "Like you needed more booze."

Before Dean could retort, someone appeared in the middle of the room with a fluttering of wings.

Chrys jumped and swore, glaring at the lanky blonde man. He just smiled at her. "Hello darlings." He began to move towards Bobby's desk. "You've seen 'The Godfather,' right?"

"Balthazar," Dean snarled.

The man ignored him. "You know, the end, where Michael Corleone sends his men to kill his enemies in one big, bloody swoop?" He pulled a container of salt and a bowl out of one of Bobby's desk drawers.

"Hey!" Dean snapped as Balthazar began pouring the salt into the bowl.

Balthazar looked closely at the salt. "'Dead Sea Brine.' Good, good, good." He looked up at Dean. "You know, Moe Greene gets it in the eye, and Don Cuneo gets it in the revolving door?"

"What's going on here?" Chrys asked casually, expecting to be ignored.

She was. "I said hey!" Dean insisted.

Balthazar nodded. "You did. Twice, Good for you." He looked around. "Blood of lamb. Blood of lamb." He flitted over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "Let's see. Beer, cold pizza. Blood of lamb. Yes! Blood of lamb!"

Chrys stood and watched the man come back into the living room. "Any reason you're talking about 'The Godfather?'"

He looked up at her. "Because we're in it. Right now. Tonight. And in the role of Michael Corleone, the archangel Raphael."

Chrys's eyebrows shot up. "You're an angel."

Dean was scowling. "You mind telling us what you mean?"

Balthazar, however, ignored both of them again. "No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no!" He opened another desk drawer and sagged with relief. "Yes. Bone of a lesser saint. This vertebra will do very nicely." He looked up at them. "Your Mr. Singer does keep a beautiful pantry."

"Wait," Sam said, "Raphael is after you?"

Balthazar scoffed. "Raphael is after us all. You see, he's consolidated his strength. And now he's on the move."

Chrys frowned. "And where's Cass?"

"Cassie? He's deep, deep underground. So good old Raffy put out a hit on every last Samaritan who helped our dear Cass, including the three of you. And, so much more importantly, me. You see, he wants to draw Cass out into the open."

Sam crossed his arms and came to stand next to Chrys. "And you expect us to just believe you?"

The angel shrugged. "Or don't. You'll go where I throw you either way."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean snapped. Chrys was angry, too, but fear was also making her belly tight. Fucking angels.

"That's all the time we have, darlings," Balthazar said instead of answering. He walked to the window, opened his jacket, and stuck his finger in the blood spreading from his side.

"Jesus," Chrys breathed. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Oh, garish, I know." He spoke casually, like he wasn't bleeding out, or like he wasn't drawing a symbol on the window in said blood. "You see, uncle Raffy sent one of his nastiest to handle me. I'm flattered, actually. And down a lung at the moment, but that's all right."

He turned, dug into his jacket pocket, and handed Sam a key. "Here's for you."

Sam looked down at it and frowned. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Run with it."

Before anyone could respond, Balthazar was thrown across the room. Another angel had appeared. Balthazar stood and transported himself to stand between the angel and the humans. "Virgil," he said, nodding respectfully. He turned to look at Sam, Chrys, and Dean. "I said run!" He shoved them through the window.

Chrys closed her eyes and cursed herself for wearing a tank top, just knowing that she was about to be cut to ribbons. So she was surprised when they landed on a mattress.

"Cut!"

She blinked and started to get to her feet. Sam put his arm around her to help, and she looked around wide-eyed at what looked like… A television crew?

One of the people pointed at Dean. "Real good, solid fall. Way to go."

The man who'd yelled cut was giving them a thumbs-up. "Jared, Jensen! Outstanding! That was just great! And, uh… You, too!" He said to Chrys.

She was scowling. "What?"

Someone came and bustled them away from the window. Sam was scanning the crowd, as was Dean. "So… No angels?"

"No angels… I think."

"Should we be killing anybody?" Chrys asked.

"I don't think so," Dean said, looking around with a frown.

Sam put a hand on the small of Chrys's back, but a crewmember side-eyed them. "Guys, no getting handsy with the extras," she said out of the side of her mouth, then walked away.

Sam frowned, but let his hand drop. "What?"

"Extra?" Chrys asked. "I'm an extra? What the hell is going on here?"


Sam was watching Chrys lean against the wall of "Jensen's" trailer and laugh uncontrollably. She was finding the whole "Jensen and Jared" thing very amusing.

He couldn't help the way he was smiling at the sight of her. She'd been kind of quiet since her mother had passed, so he was grateful to see her smiling again. "Well, who puts a three hundred gallon aquarium in their trailer, anyway?"

Dean shrugged. "Apparently, Jensen Ackles. And stuff it, Summers."

She laughed again, and despite the weirdness of their situation, Sam's heart felt lighter for it. He looked around and spotted a laptop. "Ah, all right. Let's see who this guy is."

Chrys came to sit next to him, still chuckling as he pulled up a search for Jensen Ackles. Dean was on the other side of the room, looking at "his" trailer. "Well, he's not a hunter, but he plays one on TV. Oh!" Sam looked up to see Dean holding a magazine, featuring the two of them on the cover. "Look at these male-modelin' sons of bitches. Nice 'blue steel,' Sam."

Chrys tossed her head back and laughed again. "Apparently, it's our job," Sam said defensively, looking warily at the magazine cover. He looked back down at the computer screen. "Okay, here goes. It says you're from Texas."

Dean straightened. "Really?"

"Oh. My. God," Chrys gasped, her delighted blue eyes on the screen. "It says you were in a soap opera!"

"What?" Dean snapped as Chrys collapsed in another fit of laughter.

Sam grinned down at her and hit "play" on the video.

"If I didn't have cancer, and I wasn't married, and I had plenty of money… Would you, would you want to run away with me?"

"Money?" Dean, or rather "Jensen," snapped on the screen. "What, you think I really care about money, Nicole? I care that you're healthy."

"Well, I'm no quitter, Eric. I, I-"

Dean slammed the laptop shut and glared at the two of them. Sam managed to keep his composure, but Chrys was close to falling off of the couch she was laughing so hard.

Dean pointed at her. "I'm not afraid to hit a woman, Summers, so tighten up," he threatened harmlessly. More gales of laughter from Chrys, so Dean looked at Sam. "I don't like this universe, Sammy. We need to get out of here."

Sobering a little, Sam nodded. "No argument here. But I don't think our prayers are reaching Cass. The real Cass."

Dean nodded. "I agree, I think we're out of soul-phone range. But if we can reverse Balthazar's spell…" He moved over to the coffee table and flipped a sheet of paper over to begin sketching. "I watched every move. We just, uh, get the ingredients, right, get back to that same window and… There's no place like home."


Sam was wide-eyed as they got dropped off at the "Padalecki" mansion. "Holy shit."

Chrys and Dean snorted simultaneously, and he shot her a wink. "Nice modest digs, Jay-Z."

Sam shrugged. "I guess I'm the star."

As they walked inside, Dean pointed to a tanning bed in the house. "Yeah, right. Check it out."

Chrys was chuckling again. "What are you, Dracula?"

"George Hamilton Dracula," Dean snarked, and the two of them fist-bumped.

Sam gave the two of them the stink-eye and looked around. Dean went to the liquor cabinet. "Oh, now we're talking."

Chrys was looking out the window. "Sam, you have a camel in your backyard."

"It's an alpaca," a cold, familiar voice said. "And who the hell are you?"

Sam turned, his eyes wide again, as Ruby walked down the stairs. She was glaring daggers at Chrys, whose face had become impassive.

"Ruby?" Dean asked, horrified.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "'Ruby.' Right. That one never gets old." She walked up to Sam and smiled warmly, which was an expression he'd never actually seen on her face. "How was work today, hon?"

She came up on tiptoe and kissed him hard, and he responded, but his eyes shot to Chrys. Her face could have been carved from stone, but she cocked an eyebrow at the display. Sam felt himself blush, and he pulled away from the woman in front of him just a little.

She didn't seem to notice. Even if she did, Dean spoke before she could.

"Wait. You and Ruby?"

She turned to glare at him. "Do you honestly think that's funny, Jensen?"

"Of course he doesn't, Genevieve." Chrys said with a smile. "I mean, of course it's not. You're Jared's wife."

Dean swiveled to glare at Sam. "You married fake Ruby?"

Chrys punched him on the arm, hard enough that Sam winced from just hearing it. "The guys just wanted to run lines, Gen. Jensen actually insisted on it being here."

Gen gave Dean a deadpan stare. "You've never even been to our house."

Dean gave her a winning smile. "Well, now that I know that there's an alpaca here, I'm definitely coming back."

"Well, alpacas are the greenest animal."


Chrys was watching Sam and Dean incredulously as they tried to act. They're hopeless. They're morons. They're going to blow our damn cover.

They were absolutely dreadful. They were stiff, they were speaking strangely, and what the fuck was Sam doing with his arms? "Jesus Christ," she muttered.

"What happened?" she turned to see a man in a headset standing next to her, looking distressed. "What happened to them?"

"Probably just a long night," she lied smoothly. "You know, at least they're talking again."

Lying in this world was too easy. People weren't suspicious, didn't ask for credentials. As far as Chrys could tell, there was no counterpart for her in this universe. But she'd just walked on set and people had assumed she'd belonged there.

If you were willing to look past the morality of it, you could make a killing by being a criminal in this world.

"We need to get all three of that crap."

Chrys actually, physically winced as Dean delivered the line. Hopeless, both of them.

"Cut!" The director shouted. "Cut! Cut! Cut!"

Chrys strode up to him, put a kind smile on her face, put a hand on his arm, and relied on what over twenty-five years of smiling at older men had taught her.

True to form, he relaxed. "Bob," she said soothingly, "Let me talk to the guys. Between you and I, I think something shady's going on." the last part she whispered and leaned in for, and he mirrored her unconsciously.

"It's like they've lost any shred of talent they ever had," he said desperately.

She nodded sympathetically. "I know, I know. Give me five minutes, okay?"

He sighed. "All right." He looked at the crowd. "Take five, everyone!"

Chrys walked over to Sam and Dean, where they were assembling the pieces of the spell they'd gathered the night before. "Winchesters," she snapped. "This way."

Sam frowned. "What? Chrys, we don't-"

"Come on, Sam," Dean said, grabbing Sam's arm and dragging him along as they followed Chrys. She shot him a grateful smile and they walked out of the building.

"What's up, Summers?" Dean asked when they were there.

"Look, the spell isn't going to work."

Sam frowned. "What?"

"I was up all night last night at that motel, looking online. There's no sign that the apocalypse happened here. Ever. As far as I can tell, monsters, ghosts, demons, they're all pretend."

Dean was staring at her. "So no one's hunting them?"

"No one has to. Look, I think there's no supernatural here. No magic."

"No demons, no hell, no heaven, no, no God?" Dean was struggling.

Sam, however, had realization dawning on his face. "Even better. No angels."


"You know that if we drop Virgil, get the key, this might be it. We might be stuck here."

Chrys shuddered at the thought. As it turned out, Virgil had made it to this reality. He was just as powerless as they were, but he had made it. He had killed Misha, the actor who played Cass. Chrys didn't care overmuch about the guy, but she was irritated that Virgil seemed to have a damn plan, and they were clueless.

Sam was shaking his head. "No. We'll figure out a way back."

"You don't wanna stay here?" Chrys asked softly, tilting her head to look at her lover. "I mean, you're a bazillionaire, you're married to that hottie Ruby, it's the whole package."

He shook his head and looped an arm around her waist. "No way, Chrys. Dean was right, we don't mean the same thing here. He and I aren't brothers, and you don't even exist." He shook his head. "No, we're going."


Virgil had come, shot several crew members, and had been pushed aside as the three of them had jumped into the portal that Raphael had opened.

Chrys's eyes were wide as she stared at the archangel, and she struggled to keep her cool. He was the first one she'd encountered since the apocalypse, and the power coming off of him was overwhelming.

Well, coming off of her, as his current vessel was a woman.

"Raphael?" Dean asked. "Nice meatsuit. Dude looks like a lady."

Raphael squeezed her fist, and vicious pain bloomed in Chrys's stomach. She gasped and doubled over, struggling to breathe around it. She felt Sam's hand blindly groping for hers, and she took it, holding him hard.

She heard Raphael speaking, and Balthazar was there, too. but the pain was still in her belly, and she couldn't focus on anything but that.

Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the agony vanished, and Cass was speaking as Chrys, Sam, and Dean were able to stand.

"Step away from him, Raphael." When she looked up, her eyes widened at the sight of Castiel. He was standing tall, proud, every inch a commander of heaven. "I have the weapons now. Their power is with me."

"Castiel," Raphael snarled.

Cass didn't back down. "If you don't want to die tonight, back off."

Raphael stared at him hard for a moment, then disappeared.

"Well, Cass," Balthazar said airily, "Now that you have your sword, try not to die by it." He disappeared, too.


Castiel brought them back to Bobby's house. Chrys bit her tongue, trying not to let her ire at the angel take her mouth over.

She was still irritated at Castiel. More accurately, she was furious with him for suggesting that she and Dean had wanted Sam dead, that it was a fair price to pay for what they'd gotten. What Chrys had gotten had been a year and a half of hardship, and a year of taking advantage of a kind, loving woman who deserved better. Castiel could go fuck himself, as far as Chrys was concerned.

Sam, apparently, was irritated, too. "What the hell, Cass? You were using us as a diversion?"

"It was Balthazar's plan. I would have done the same thing."

"Well, that's less than comforting," Chrys said thoughtfully.

"When will I be able to make you people understand?" Cass snapped. "If I lose against Raphael, we all lose. Everything."

"Yeah, Cass. We know the stakes. That's about all you've told us!" Dean exclaimed.

"I'm sorry about all this," Castiel said softly. He sounded sincere enough. "I'll explain when I can." He disappeared.

"Fucking angels," Chrys said venomously.


**I am SO sorry this update took so long. This was a busy week for me. I don't know if anyone cares about the particulars, but I got my first tattoo last week (yay! and ow!), and also last week, a two week old puppy came into my care. She's very healthy and doing well, but her sister came to me a few days later, and she's extremely small and sick. They require round-the-clock care, so I've been pretty out of it. But they're doing a lot better! I've got some experienced in neonatal care for pets, so I think they're gonna be fine. :) Thanks for sticking with me, beautiful readers!
**I'm sorry if it didn't seem like my heart was in this chapter. I don't love S6 and S7, so it's hard for me to get into it.
**Feedback gives me the warm fuzzies and keeps me going.