AN: Thanks as always for the support! You guys rock! A real special shoutout to UnknownSeven7! Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean the world to me! They really keep me going. Same here, all my support to you! I hope you are doing well and if not, at least this update might brighten your day somewhat. :)
So sorry for the delay, I decided to take a little break since I felt a little burned out and to recharge I watched the world cup since my country was participating for the first time (Iceland). I also worked on other Star Wars stories as well as rewrote this one. I plan on updating at least once a month, but I will try to update as often as I can. At least another chapter will come out before the end of this month...
I hope you all enjoy one of the longest (kind of like double chapter) and craziest chapters! (but with some plot...and real setup for stuff - I promise!) Poor mini Ben...still stuck with his grouchy uncle (who means well, but is doing it so, so wrong!) And Big Ben is stuck with Big Kylo..there will be a mini Kylo in later chapters. ;)
Reference from the Solo movie and there will be more in later chapters (loved that movie!)
Chapter twenty nine - Dreams of another different life
"VADER?" sputtered Luke out as he got back on his feet after falling over in surprise after Ben's declaration.
His nephew didn't have any time to answer him nor did he have any interest to do so, as he continued happily doodling his Darth Vader Rey and because out of seemly nowhere, the little knights of Ren showed up outside the office window with expression like Life Day had arrived early.
"Vader...where?" They looked expectantly at Luke, their current master and peered into the office as they were expecting to see Vader there, assuming his post as their new headmaster.
KR: That would've been awesome!
Well, he didn't...
KR: I know...it sucks! I would've loved the Jedi academy if that would've been the case...wait why would Vader being teaching in a Jedi academy! Doesn't make any sense. It would be the Sith academy! Why is there no Sith academy! So unfair! We should create one!
You are not starting a Sith academy.
KR: Spoilsport...
"There is no Vader. Go back to lightsaber training...and stop thinking about Vader. You are lightside." Luke shooed the the knights away like they were pesky little mynocks on a starship.
Lightsaber training? Why was I not part of that...?
KR: Why do you think?
It doesn't matter I was too focused on Rey anyway...
KR: That hasn't changed a bit...
And you are always focused on Vader.
KR: Well, yeah...Rey is Vader.
SHE'S NOT!
KR: Oh, you of little faith...
It has nothing to do with faith, but keeping your head on straight!
KR: Which you don't do...
Erm...well...I...
"Yeah, yeah..." murmured the knights as they scurried away.
"So boring..." said one of them under his breath.
"What about him?" said Ren Ren, the bane of Ben's existence, who decided to stick around to torment Ben, just by being close to him. Which made the others knights stop as well, as they didn't think independently and where always looking for a leader.
Luke spared Ben a little glance, where he sat innocently on the sofa and drew pictures of his Darth Vader Rey, before turning back to Ren Ren and the little knights, outside the window. "He's in detention. Now go...or you will join him..."
All of little knights scattered away in fright as detention was at that time, their worst nightmare.
"I'm in detention...and grounded for life?" Ben looked up from his Rey drawings and at his uncle in disbelief when the knights were gone. That statement had managed to rip his attention away from his dream girl for a second, which was a great feat in itself, as he hadn't even looked up when a lightsaber training was mentioned or hardly noticed when the little knights had arrived or left.
"Of course," replied his uncle like it had been a rhetorical question.
Wait a minute, how come we saw the knights so clearly, if I didn't notice them until later? Isn't this my memory?
KR: I may sometimes add in things to fill in the blanks in your memory...like my future knights...look how cute they are. Idiots but cute...
Then how can I trust you to not add things just to serve your purpose...?
KR: I can only add things that already exist in your subconscious.
Hmm...sounds fishy...
KR: You will get something fishy later.
What...?
KR: You will see.
Oh, no...not!
KR: Yes...
"Why, I nearly died...?" Ben pouted over the injustice of even being punished for nearly dying.
Luke just frowned at him, like it was perfectly justified to punish him despite that. "That doesn't excuse your behaviour in any way."
Prick.
KR: That's an understatement!
True...
Ben sees that he can't defeat his uncle's logic even though it doesn't make any sense. "Can I join their lightsaber training...after detention, I mean? Please..." He pointed out the window where the little knights were dueling each other in the distance and terrorising the other students who were trying to flee from them.
Luke shook his head. "No, you are getting an early bedtime because you stayed up so late and were naughty. Just focus on your essay." He pointed at the open notebook in Ben's hands.
"I can never do anything fun...but at least I have my Darth Vader Rey..." Ben drew another picture of little Rey, this time with the ancient red saber from the wall, while he hummed the imperial march happily.
KR: My favourite song!
Of course it is...
"Don't sing that song!" shouted his uncle hysterically as if he expected stormtroopers to start marching in.
"Why?" asked Ben innocently.
"You know full well why! And what do you mean by Darth Vader? Why are you calling her...that? Did you hit your head after the accident? Did you swallow some detergent? Is it messing with your brain?" Luke put his hand on Ben's forehand. "You are too warm. Maybe I should get the med kit...and poison control..." His uncle bit his lower lip and opened up a cupboard to get the medical bag.
KR: Vader is not poison!
Why didn't uncle check on me the moment he rescued me from drowning? Such a bad guardian...
KR: Maybe he wanted you to die...
What?
KR: Just saying...I want him to die...
That doesn't equivalent each other...does it...?
KR: Of course it does!
His uncle picked up a thermometer from the bag and went over to Ben, who kept fawning over Rey. "It just her darkside name, I can also call her Darth...Rey Vader. There is great darkness, but also there is so much light in her..."
Ben was cut off, as Luke stuck the thermometer into the mouth of his lovesick and obsessed nephew to shut him up. "Keep your mouth closed while I take your temperature...or I will take out the rectal one."
Ben shut up instantly and waited patiently until his uncle could take out the thermometer.
Luke frowned as he read of it. "You are too cold...that can't be right. Oh, I forgot you swallowed some cold water before hand...maybe I should get the rectal one after all." He dove into the bag again.
"Please don't..." pleaded Ben.
Luke rummaged through the bag. "I don't have anything better than this and...come to think of it, why don't I? I need to put it on the list. A better thermometer...or a med droid, but those are so expensive." He sighed.
"You also need a bed." pointed Ben out, as he squirmed on the hard sofa, which his uncle slept on during the nights.
"The school comes first," said Luke without looking up from the bag.
"It must wreck havoc on your back..." said Ben who rubbed his back, which was getting sore from sitting on the sofa.
"It does, but it's a good training in endurance. Here drink this." His uncle picked up a glass vial and handed it over to Ben.
"What's that?" Ben inspected the blue vial in his hand.
"Medicine."
Ben glared at him. "I know that. What for?"
"It will clear...if there is any...poison out of your system. You can't drink anything else for a minute after taking it." Luke took out a milk bottle from a mini fridge under his desk and put it on top of it, as well as taking out glasses from a cupboard close by.
"Rey's not a poison," said Ben dangerously, like he wanted to throw the vial in Luke's face for even suggesting that.
"I didn't say she was...take the medicine, now." Luke pointed at the vial with his stern expression, "or else."
Ben obliged and made a face over the nasty taste.
"You have to wait to drink something else." Luke smiled smugly as he poured a milk into a glass and drank it himself.
"You did this on purpose." Ben threw the vial, but Luke saw his intention and caught it with the force before it shattered on the floor.
His uncle put the vial safely away on his desk. "I warned you. You really should take a nap, to get your fever down..."
"I'm not taking a nap and going to bed early," snapped Ben at him, but the sour taste in his mouth had only made his bad mood even worse.
"You are right, that's a bit too much...your bedtime is now. Go get ready for bed," said his uncle in the "I'm adult, you are the child" voice and "thus you must do everything I say."
"What about the essay?" asked Ben, who rarely listened to that "I'm the adult, you are the child" voice, unless his mother used it.
"It can wait," said Luke firmly and he took the notebook away from him with force and put it on the desk.
"I want to finish it." Ben made the notebook float back to him with the force, as he opened it up again to start work, without having gotten a permission to continue.
Luke huffed. "Fine, I will give you an hour...not more. And if it's not done by then, it's better to leave it for tomorrow," said his uncle sternly, even though Ben could hardly hear him as he was back in his Rey-world.
"I can feel her...sense her...even though it's just fiction...but still real...very real..." muttered Ben like he was chanting a love spell, as he kept drawing pictures of Rey.
"So now she is fiction...?" Luke smirked at his own joke, but Ben, who did not find it funny in the least, looked up at him with his most fearsome expression.
"NO! She's hundred percent real!" he thundered and the whole room started to tremble from his anger. The book shelves staggered and were close to falling down, the desk looked to be about to break under it's own weight and even the floor got cracked.
His uncle looked at the tremors a little fearfully, but managed to beat the fright down and gave Ben's his fiercest scowl as he declared. "I will call your mother."
Ben stopped shaking the place at once. He looked anxiously at the damage he had caused with his outburst and gulped. "Sorry...please don't tell her about this..." Ben looked down shamefully and bit his lip.
"I won't, but you have to control your temper. You have to face it that Rey's not real, you are making her up as we speak..."
Ben looked up at that and was about to release his powers again, despite his uncle's earlier threat and so Luke back-pedalled and did quick some damage control.
"But, do what you want...it's your essay, your story...except follow the rules I told you...and please don't call her Vader...not even as a darkside name. That's too scary...and your mom wouldn't like it...or your father..." reminded Luke him.
"I'm doing the kriff I want! I'm stuck here because of you, so for now on she will be called Darth Vader Rey. It's my story. I already drew her with the Vader helmet...look how cute she is..." Ben turned the book over to show him the drawing in question.
KR: She's cute.
She not cute!
KR: You don't think she is cute...?
Of course she cute, but not with that helmet!
KR: Why not...?
Okay fine, she's always cute...but I prefer her losing the helmet...
KR: No taste...the helmet fits her perfectly!
Does not!
KR: DOES TOO!
Luke gasped in outrage when he saw his work, despite how beautiful it was. "Ben! This is not optional. No Vader. I'm warning you..." He looked down into the medical bag, like he was looking for a even nastier medicine than before to cure him of his Darth Vader Rey obsession.
"Try to stop me. I already wrote it down...see...Darth Vader Rey." Ben tapped on each names under the drawing, like that would make it the truth.
"Ben, don't you want to get rid of the medicine taste and the soap taste from your...bath...you can do that now," said Luke conversationally as he picked up a bottle with golden liquid in it.
Ben shook his head. "No, the soap comes from Rey."
"Huh?" His uncle stared stunned at him, like he was having a conversation with the melted Darth Vader helmet.
"I saw her down there...in the washbasin and tried to reach her...so it's the taste of her." Ben smiled dreamily.
KR: I doubt she even knows what soap is...dirty scavenger...desert rat...
Hey! Don't call ther that! I thought you liked Vader.
KR: I love Vader! But, if she is Vader then she is...only a part of him...and the poor thing is probably trapped inside of her. Like I'm trapped inside of you. So technically she is not him...
Oh...that's a relief...still weird...trapped inside me...?
KR: She is mostly stupid Anakin.
WHAT! I will pretend I did not ever hear that...besides that doesn't make an inkling of sense...
KR: What I mean is...what if she is reincarnated Anakin?
That would be so weird! I would be wanting to screw...erm marry my grandpa!
KR:...
No!
KR: Just messing with ya...come on even I'm not that...strange...wait, I'm not strange...you are!
But, that's not her fault! I mean the soap thing, I don't really believe this Vader...or grandfather Anakin thing. That's just you confusing me...and making me sick!
KR: Is it...?
Shut up. Don't you dare tarnish my pure and perfect Rey.
KR: Pure...and perfect...she beat you over the head! And she bit you! And slapped you upside the head!
I deserved it.
KR:. True, I have wanted to beat you, bite and slap...for the longest of time...
Same here...but Rey has a bit of a wild side...nothing wrong with that. We will work with that and I will teach her how to use soap...I can wash her and we can bathe together...
KR: I thought you were a virgin.
I do have my fantasies!
KR: Nice.
Besides it's only bath.
KR: Only...? Oh, you are so so innocent...aren't you both..naked...?
No, we will wear swimsuits.
KR: Swim...are you...kidding me...?
Shut up, don't ruin my pure fantasy with her...we could bathe and swim in the Lake country or on Chandrila...yeah, I should take her there for our honeymoon...wait, does she know how to swim...? I mean, she lived on a desert planet her whole life. Does she need a teacher...? I can teach her...
KR: DUDE! Date her first! Don't think about future kid names and a wedding! Or swimming lessons!
What wrong with dreaming about the future...? Or giving swimming lessons...?
KR: Stay in the present...take one step at a time and see what happens.
That's kind of a good advice..coming from you...who likes to stay in...the past...
KR: Hrmph...someone has to keep a cool head around here...Rey-aholic.
Vader aholic...
KR: Nothing to deny there.
Same here!
"Taste? You want to eat her?" His uncle opened the bottle and the ghastly smell that emitted from it, made Ben so nauseated, that he had to cover his face to protect it from the chemical attack.
"What, no! Dad said something similar to mom...or was it something about her smell...? Eat her out...or up. Both, I think. Uncle Lando said something like that too...to another woman I mean...or was it a droid?" mumbled Ben through his hands and he tried to breathe in the fumes from the open bottle.
Luke, who for some reason wasn't affected by the smell in the slightest, probably a Jedi thing or he had stuffed nose, poured the golden liquid into a spoon. "Droid? I doubt that. Thankfully you have no idea why they used that expression. You will know when you are older. Here take this, to get rid of the medicine taste." He pointed the spoon at him. "Say ah."
"I'm not a baby, but I do know how babies are made," said Ben through clenched teeth, as he didn't trust anything his uncle pointed at him, plus the smell alone was worse than inside of a dead bantha, or he was sure of that. It had to be.
"What, how do you know that? Open up, Ben." Luke jammed the spoon at him.
"Mom taught me." mumbled Ben without opening his mouth and nearly gagged at the smell from the medicine, so close to his nose, but still managed to keep his lips sealed.
KR: And we might have done it in past life.
Huh?
KR: Just saying.
Shut up and please don't say anything more, big you...and mini me...
"I bet she only taught you about the birds and the bees. So innocent." Luke shook his head with a smile and offered him the spoon again, like it did not contain anything nasty.
"No, mom told me when a man loves a woman, he lies on top of her and..." mumbled Ben through his teeth.
His uncle nearly dropped the spoon in shock.
AAAAA!
KR: Wow, your kid-self is not as innocent as you. What happened...?
Jedi academy.
KR: Oh. Right...stupid academy...
"But it can also be the other way around...and it doesn't even have to be man and woman...it can be a droid...but you can't make babies with a droid...I think...so it's only for pleasure..."
His uncle stopped Ben's sex education lecture by pinching his lips together. "I know, I know! Again with the droid...? Who taught you that...no I don't want to know. Okay, let's change the subject like yesterday." He let go of Ben and put the spoon away on his desk. "So you fell in...because of your...dream girl. That's really troubling, plus you want to call her Vader. I don't like this at all..."
Ben breathed out a sigh of relief when his uncle put the horrible spoon away. "Relax. That's just her darkside name. She is the sweetest being in existence." He hugged the book, kissed it and hugged it again.
"Then why are you calling her...Vader...? And drawing her like that?"
"There is something Vader about her...I can't put my finger on it." Ben put his finger on of the Rey drawings, which made it look like they were holding hands. He smiled.
"You never knew Vader..." Luke got a dark look in his eyes.
"But, I can still feel some connection...like we knew each other in past life or something...weird huh...?" said Ben and his uncle looked taken aback by his confession.
"Very...and I don't want you to have any connection to Vader. It's forbidden."
"But...Rey is somehow connected to him...though I don't understand how...and I want her...ah, what a dilemma...forbidden love...how romantic..." Ben leaned on the picture with sigh.
KR: I know all about forbidden loves...they can end tragically...
What do you know...?
KR: Trust me...I know...but I don't know, how I know...
That's helpful...
"Stop romanticising Vader. I really think you should take this cold medicine. It will help you clear your head." His uncle looked at the disregarded spoon on his desk.
"Cold medicine...?" Ben looked up apprehensively, as Luke picked up the smelly spoon and made it fly towards his mouth.
"Yes. It will also ward it off."
"Okay..." Ben opened up his mouth and closed his eyes like it would make the smell go away.
KR: Don't, it's a trap!
A trap...? Oh yeah! Kriff! KRIFF!
KR: Fishy!
Ben coughed and coughed. His eyes were watery. Never in his short life, had he tasted anything so vile. It's taste was way worse than the smell.
"The kriff is this! It's way worse than what you gave me earlier!" He stared hatefully at his uncle. He had a trouble deciding which hated it more, his uncle or that medicine. Or both. Most likely both.
"This is Stink fish oil. Each time you mention, write, draw or even think about Vader...in any manner, you will take this." Luke grabbed the bottle in firm grip and showed it inches away from his face.
KR: That's censorship! And brainwashing!
I don't want to call her Vader, either...well at least today, not sure what mini me was thinking!
KR: Well, your taste today sucks! But, I want to be called Vader!
Of course you do...but Luke really is prick for having done this to us!
KR: Of course he is!
"Ugh, no! Please. You can't do this!" Ben's eyes looked desperately at the ancient saber that hung on the wall behind his uncle's desk. He wanted nothing more than to cut down the bottle and his uncle in process and flee far away from there. Preferably hide on some island forever where there were no fish oils or stupid uncles to torment him. He just had to find Rey and then it would a paradise.
"Your mom told me to do this if your Vader obsession ever got out of hand."
"Mom...?" asked Ben in a doomed voice and forgot all about cutting down his uncle, as there would no place safe in the whole galaxy from her wrath if he did that. Especially not for something she had authorised, even though it was borderline torture...according to him.
"Yes and for having your dream girl named after him and be connected to him in any way, is a step too far. You know your mom would be most displeased to hear that..." said Luke and watched how the full meaning of it sank into Ben, who lost all colour in his face and got even sicker then when he tasted the fish oil.
KR: Heh, if she ever found out that you spoke to his cool helmet...
I really, really hope she will never ever find out about that...
KR: And dresses..similar to him...
Kriff, she knows all about that! I'm doomed!
KR: So...
I'm still going back.
KR: You are braver than I thought...
Mostly because of Rey though...
KR: Of course because of her...and Vader...
Not Vader.
"What about dad though...?" asked Ben who hoped for some lifeline to get out of this torture, since he couldn't count on his mom to save him.
"If you think your father will protect you from this, you have another thing coming," replied his uncle darkly.
"Kriff..." muttered Ben, who knew his uncle was right. His father hated Vader with passion and most likely would agree with this rehab.
"No swearing. So do we have a deal?"
"But Kylo Ren is the one who has the Vader obsession, not me," argued Ben.
"Then you will both take this," said Luke merciless. "Meaning two spoons."
Ben paled in horror.
KR: Hey! You will never take Vader from me! Stupid Luke! I thought I couldn't possibly hate you more! What do you think you are?!
Erm...Vader-hater...?
KR: How dare he? Vader saved his kriffing life!
True...
KR: Stupid anti-Vader! If any one should be angry at Vader, it should be me!
You? I thought you loved him...
KR: Yeah...but he kind of killed me...and died from me...
What...that makes no sense! If you were dead how could he have died from you...? And what do you mean killed you...? What the kriff?!
KR: You are right...it doesn't! What's wrong with me...thinking ill of grandfather!
That wasn't the part I was worried about...
"Okay, okay. I solemnly swear...and promise no more Vader...ever..." pleaded Ben.
"Good." Luke put away the bottle into the medical bag.
KR: Liar.
Yebb.
KR: Plus there is no way, we can stop think about Vader...
We...?
KR: Umh, Rey is Vader...you, know the girl you think endlessly about...
I know who she is...and she is not Vader.
KR: Was...then...and if not, then who is she...?
Rey.
KR: What a dull answer...
The best answer there is!
"But...I will still think about Rey..." mumbled Ben under his breath and froze when his uncle poured a blue liquid into a glass from the bottle on his desk.
"No! No more...and you can't make me stop thinking about Rey! NEVER!" Ben waved his hands in desperation, when his uncle handed the glass over to him.
"Calm down. I'm not trying to. She's part of your essay, just not as Vader. Don't worry, it just blue milk. See." Luke first drank a glass to show it was alright and then he poured another for Ben, who chugged it down like a thirsty man in the Jakku desert.
"Better?"
Ben nodded and pushed the glass over to him."Please, can I have some more?"
His uncle got another bottle and poured more for him and Ben gulped it down in one sip and pushed the glass toward him again.
"More. MORE!" He kept asking for more and had at least drunken ten glasses of it, when Luke pulled the empty bottle away and got another one from the mini fridge under the desk.
"Do you think you got it...?" Luke smirked. "I mean the taste away."
Ben gave him an evil eye and didn't answer him and just ripped the new bottle from him, opened it and drank from that.
"Have you come up with another darkside name...?" asked Luke to test him and see if Ben had learned anything from this, when he had finished the bottle.
"Yeah...what about Kylo Rey?" replied Ben who wiped his lips of the milk. He knew better then to object to the name changing, despite how much he wanted to keep it that way.
KR: If Rey is getting half my name, I want to be Vader 2.
Vader 2?
KR: Yes, there is a Vader, the original one and Vader one...that's the Vader part of Rey...so could I be Vader two...?
I'm not calling you Vader two...and Rey does not have a single midichlorian of her that is Vader...or Anakin for that matter!
KR: Lame...you are still scared of that fish oil therapy...
Am not! Though when I meet mom again, she might make me drink the whole bottle for everything Vader related I did...two even...brr...
KR: That's your problem. What about Kylo Vader?
Absolutely not.
KR: You suck...Ben colo!
Is that the best you could come up with?
KR: Ben holo? Ben swolo!
That doesn't sound so bad...Kyle Ron...
KR: Don't you dare!
What so bad about that?
KR: Kyle is a girl's name!
And...?
KR: I don't know...
I think it's a unisex name.
KR: Oh...
I think it means handsome...and hardworking...
KR: Oh...that's not bad at all...
So you want to change your name?
KR: No, I like it just the way it is...but it certainly has given me something to think about...
Glad we got that one straightened out...
KR: What does my name stand for?
What, how should I know...Snoke gave it to you...us...or the Knights of Ren did...?
KR: Are you sure about that? Remember you used that name when your father came to pick you up...
I thought that was just a dream?
KR: Oh..right...so confusing! What is real...?
To be fair, I'm not sure about anything now!
"Erm...sure...you can call her that. Everything but Vader and that name is kind of cute. You are sharing your dark side name with her...like you are married..." said his uncle and smiled, like he kind of liked that idea.
"Married...?" A smile grew over Ben's face, but Luke corrected himself quickly, when he realised what he had said.
"Erm I mean family. Do you remember the rules I told you...?"
Ben face fell. "Yeah, fighting in a safe place and not to the death. We are family...who are helping each other...get back to the light."
"Good boy. You do listen sometimes...oh...no..." Luke looked out the window when he heard shouting and crying outside.
"I told you the knights were evil," said Ben, as his uncle threw on a outdoor robe and strode over to the door with the medical bag in hand.
"No, no just a tiny bit misguided like you. Stay right here. Work on your essay. I will be right back." His uncle closed the door behind him.
"How did it go?" asked Ben when his uncle finally returned after what looked like a little fight. He looked exhausted and dirty, like he had climbed from under a collapsed hut.
"I put them in detention...in another room," said Luke grimly and hung up his outdoor robe in a closet. "And I gave them fish oil."
Ben smiled widely when he heard that and pictured their anguished faces.
"Wouldn't it have been easier to watch them if you put them here? Not that I want them here..." Ben tried to put on his most innocent look, when he wanted nothing more than to see them get into trouble and be punished that way.
"No, they will not come near you. They are bad news, stay away from them," lectured his uncle.
"Okay..." Ben huffed and tried to hide his disappointment as he went back to his essay.
That went well...
KR: It sure did! It was so much fun destroying the academy together! Maybe we can check that memory later...
NO!
KR: I can never do anything fun...everything is ruined for me...no Vader...
No Rey...
"How is the essay coming along...? Let me see?" His uncle asked for the book with hand, but Ben held the book to his chest, as he didn't want to let go of Rey.
"Ben, I need to see...do you need more fish oil?"
His uncle had barely finished his sentence when Ben handed the book over to him.
Luke's eyes widened when he saw the content and he turned to his nephew with a scowl. "Have you been drawing this whole time?! And are all these pictures of...Rey? As...darkside...?" He flipped furiously through the pages and back at his naughty nephew, who didn't look remorseful at all, in fact he looked happy with his work.
"I really like the scavenger girl...the chosen one, the one who has the name Rey...what if I want to marry her after she turns me...or if I turn her back...? I really feel like I know her. Does she really have to be family...?"
"Your choice," said Luke absentmindedly as he shook his head as he scanned over the countless drawings.
Thank you Luke!
KR: Shut up Luke! Don't give him hope! What about the Jedi code!
But, I thought you wanted to marry...the Vader part in Rey...not that there is any...
KR: Marry...? I never said that!
At least you two need a room together...you and Vader I mean, not Rey. She is mine.
KR: We had a room with helmet!
And you don't see anything wrong with that...?
KR: I want to rule with him! Not...sleep with him...though I did sleep in the same room as the helmet...
Stop talking! The images are making me sick!
KR: You put them there! You idiot!
"Then she isn't," said Ben firmly.
"But I thought you didn't like the idea of love...oh wait a minute...the code...not this again..." Luke stopped short and ripped a page out.
"Hey!" Ben reached out for it, but Luke kept it away from him.
"What the...?" Luke stared between him and the page he held aloft which contained the family tree. "Is this...? You have even made up children...? Kylo...Padmé...? Your grandmother's name, that's sweet...but why Kylo? Your darkside name...?"
"Skywalker plus Solo. I just took Ky and Lo from my surnames," said Ben as if that was self explanatory.
"Oh...that's cool I guess." Luke peered closely at the drawing of the family tree as if was trying to find some secret hidden inside of it.
KR: Please don't tell me that is the reason for my cool name...
This...I didn't name you...Snoke did...or the knights...
KR: Still in great denial...you have said Kylo several times in your memories...
You just inserted yourself into my memories to confuse me.
KR: I would never go that far...
Or I named him after a different Kylo entirely.
KR: Hey! I'm the only Kylo, there are multiple Rens but I'm the one and only...and mighty Kylo Ren!
Yeah...yeah...
"But isn't Kylo your darkside name? The one you blame for everything you naughty you do?" pointed Luke out.
KR: Hah! Told you it was me! And you do always blame me!
Somehow I feel like those are just false editing on your part. Fake news.
KR: Is not! It's the truth...like everything I tell you...
Yeah right.
"I told you what Kylo stands for, besides my son's full name will be Kylo Han Solo, not Kylo Ren," said Ben proudly.
Well, that was unexpected!
KR: You...ruined my name...I'm not some stupid scoundrel!
It's my cute future son, not you!
KR: Cute...?
Of course he will be cute, both of my children.
KR: That's all you think about...? But, I thought you were mad that your father never came to bring you home. That it was all just a dream...and you want to name your future kid after him? What the...
I don't look that mad at him in this memory. I'm just happy doodling my future family with Rey...I'm not sure if I would name my kid after him today though...or you for that matter...
KR: Then why are you so angry with him?
I...don't know...I don't remember...
KR: And that's why we are here...or well partly...
It is? I have really bad feeling about this...
"And my daughter's full name would be Rey Padmé Solo or Padmé Rey Solo..." added Ben with full conviction.
His uncle looked disappointed. "Oh, why your grandmother's name for your daughter...it's really pretty, but why not..."
Ben's eyes suddenly glazed over. "Luke...Leia..."
I would never name my kid after Luke!
KR: You named your kid Luke.
Huh?
KR: I said nothing...
Stop confusing me or I will start to call you...the Last Jedi.
KR: You will do no such thing!
That would mean you would have to destroy yourself!
KR: You and me are the same...you would have to kill yourself!
Last Jedi...
KR: ARG! DON'T!
Luke nodded. "Yeah, why don't you name your twins that...though your poor father would probably feel slighted..." His uncle cleared his throat. "Erm...you are not having any babies...Jedi code..." He handed him back the page with the family tree.
"Ani Kylo and Padmé Rey...or Padmé Kylo and Ani Rey...?" asked Ben, who was still only thinking of baby names and didn't care about the Jedi code in the least. He wrote those suggestions down on the page.
Luke furrowed his brows. "Why would you mix up the genders? Oh...wait is Kylo even a guy's name...? Maybe it works for both...? Why not just Ben Kylo? Or Kylo Ben? Or just Ani Ben? Padmé Ben...? No...that definitely doesn't work...err, forget it, you are not supposed to have any children anyway..." He shook his head over having been dragged along like that, while Ben kept furiously scribbling away.
KR: Why not just Vader Kylo?!
You know why...but I really should consult Rey about the names...if we have children...erm...if she wants me!
KR: Oh, she wants you...
She does?!
KR: As a..brother...
NOOO!
KR: Or as her kid...make your choice...or maybe as a cousin...or well technically you could be her grandchild...
LAST JEDI! LAST JEDI!
KR: Revenge of the Sith, Revenge of the Sith.
What the...?
KR: That's my new nickname name from now on...or maybe rise of the Sith...the Phantom Menace...or the coolest Phantom Menace...the coolest revenge of the Sith Phantom Menace...
Erg...I give up...
KR: At last! Now...
Kyle...that will be my daughter's name...or my son's...
KR: Ugh...that...do what you want, I don't care about some children, you will never even have!
You don't know that!
KR: How are you going to have children if you will never get out of here?
I'm getting out of here, one way another! There must be an exit here somewhere...
KR: So stupid...
"Ben...? Anybody home? Did you hear a word I just said?" said his uncle when there was no answer from Ben, who kept writing away.
"At least I will use the name Rey for my dream girl, I really like the name Rey, it makes me feel so warm inside...like an old...boyfriend...Ani..." said Ben without looking up from his writing.
"Boyfriend...? Ani...?" His uncle gaped at him.
What in the...? NOOOO!
KR: That's some very weird...
I was just too tired...I hope! Or I got drunk by a blue milk!
KR: You can do that...? I mean...that's what you think...
Huh...?
KR: Nothing...
Who is Ani...? Please not...?
KR: Anakin?
Why...granddad? Why?! You are the one who is obsessed with him. Not me!
KR: I'm obsessed with Vader! Not stupid Anakin. I told you that!
It's the same guy.
KR: IS NOT! Just like how we are not the same guy.
We are the same guy...you even said so before...
KR:...there is no talking to you...
I don't want to talk to you! I want out of here! This is getting worse with the minute. I'm thinking my beautiful Rey is a boy! My grandfather?! What the kriff is wrong with me?! And you even called her Vader! But, I thought that was just a bad joke!
KR: Interesting...
NO!
"Wha...no I mean girlfriend...Rey was my husband...I mean is my future wife. Padmé...?" Ben grabbed his head in agony.
What now...Padmé...? What's going on here!? Husband...?
KR: So either you have a thing for your grandad...or grandmother...?
SHUT UP! Rey is just Rey!
KR: Just a nobody then...?
SHUT UP!
"Are you okay...?" Luke put a hand on his shoulder with a worried look in his eyes.
"I don't know..." replied Ben and looked scared. "Please help me."
His uncle poured him another glass. "Have some more milk." And as Ben drunk it, he lectured him:"You are barely eleven, so there is no way you had an old girl...or boyfriend and not to mention...husband...wife. How many times do I have to remind you of the Jedi code..."
"I know all about the stupid, stupid code...but...see I drew the best picture of her." Ben showed him a blank page.
"I see nothing."
"No, she's not nothing! She is everything to me! Oh, sorry I haven't drawn her yet on this page..." Ben gave him a nervous smile. "She still just in my heart...but it won't take a sec." He fetched his calligraphy set from his bag at the foot of the sofa.
"Ben, really, you are supposed to work on your important essay."
"Rey is the most important!" shouted Ben at him as dipped his pencils into a ink and onto the paper at the speed of light.
"You should only use the set for writing letters, not drawing! It will ruin your pencils. What did I tell you about mindfulness?" rebuked his uncle him.
"Shut up you are ruining my focus!"
Luke sighed in defeat. "Fine, fine. You will get one...minute..."
"Done." said Ben with a pride. He blew on the ink picture to make it dry faster and very carefully ripped it out of the book and handed it to his uncle, who blinked in surprise as he accepted it.
"That was...fast...maybe you could do that for a living. Be a sketch artist." remarked Luke half jokingly without looking at the picture.
"So I can leave to pursue that dream? I don't have to be a Jedi?"
"Let's take a look at the picture first."
Holy Sith, that look exactly like Rey when she was a child! Like how she was in her memory when she screamed after the shuttle! In fact she is holding someone's hand and looks to be in great distress! What the...!
KR: Coincidence...I think not...
I must have dreamt this about her...there is no other way! No other way! She wasn't even born yet! Wait...could it be that her destiny..really...is my fault...?! Since I drew this...? Made this up...? And even gave her...her name...?
KR: Of course it is...
I heard someone gasp! It must be her! I knew it, she's in here!
KR: Nope, just your imagination...like she is...nothing...
She's not nothing and she is not my imagination!
Luke's blue eyes widened as he took in the very detailed picture. "Wow, very...cute picture of her...extremely detailed considering the time limit you were given...well done, but it's also very sad...will this sad scene be in your essay? Poor thing..." His uncle shook his head with a sad expression as he handed the page back over to Ben.
"So can I leave to become an artist...?" said Ben as he put the picture safely away on the sofa.
Luke shook his head. "Not yet. In fact you should spend your free time sketching instead of troublemaking...but not use those pencils...I will get you some new ones just for painting."
"Thanks...here is picture of her when she's older...like I imagine her when we would be...forced to fight..." Ben ripped out another page and handed to his uncle.
Holy! That is Rey like she looks like today! To the smallest detail! She even has her quarterstaff! No wonder she looked so familiar to me! I had drawn her, years ago!
KR: That can't be coincidence.
Did I really...make her up...? How...? And why do I call her...Vader...? Ani...Padmé...?
KR: Look, she has some kind of mask under her arm. We never saw her with that.
You are right...that's something new...
KR: That mask...is very similar to the Vader one...or well the goggles...
What how? Nah, all scavenger masks look the same...I think...I hope! Now you are just reaching!
KR: Am I...?
YES!
"Another great picture." complimented his uncle him. " Very formidable. She looks like a girl."
"Well, yeah..." said Ben surprised by that remark.
"Why did you think she was boy?" His uncle looked curiously at him over the drawing.
"I didn't think that," said Ben confused.
"Of course, she could be a boy who looks like a girl..." started Luke, but Ben cut him off.
"Rey is a boy! I mean a girl! A boy...girl?" He stared in daze ahead.
"Are you sure you are okay?" asked his uncle worried.
Ben didn't answer. He started to breathe heavily and stared at his hands like they were not his own.
"She looks kind of like your grandmother." commented his uncle, which managed to snap Ben out of his trance-like state.
"What, no she is...well at least now...Rey." Ben looked unsure.
KR: Told ya, you had a thing for your grandmother...
Do not!
KR: Either it is your grandad or grandma. But that's just because you missed them so much since you never got to know them, that you projected them on her...and your future children...
The kriff?! How can I miss someone I never knew...?
KR: You miss Rey there...and you don't seem to know her...
And you miss Vader.
KR: I know him!
And I know Rey!
KR: You do not know her! What is her favourite food?
Erm...
KR: Favourite color...?
Well...sand coloured...?
KR: Sand?! Are you kriffing kidding me, she lives in a kriffing desert! I'm pretty sure she hates sand...with passion...
Well, then I will just find out those things...by asking her...
KR: That works too...
Luke, who had no idea his little nephew was having serious identity crisis, picked up the book and flipped through it once more. "Please tell me you have done more than just doodled a family three and drawing your dream girl this entire time...I told you have only one hour and then it's bedtime..." He stopped at page. "Oh, great here is something more. A text instead of a drawing...wait, is that...a love poem...?"
"Erm..." Ben looked away and blushed.
His uncle read the poem out loud.
"Ani...Rey...Padmé...
you are my golden ray of sunshine
who shines through the darkest darkness in my pitch black soul
with colorful rainbows.
I will safe you, my dearest hot and adorable love in the whole galaxy
on the brightest white fathier
riding through sunset with you by my side on my side
while wearing one of my grandmother's gown.
She was queen you know.
Oh my Rey of light...my king and queen of my darkness.
I love you...most ardently.
Let's rule the...galaxy together...Vader."
BS.11
KR: Well that poem sucks...except the last part...and what's up with that signature?!
Hey! I was a kid! It stands for Ben Solo, age eleven. The kriff why do I call her Ani...Padmé...or worse Vader?! Or this is part of my strange signature...? So confusing...but maybe this is some kind of a code...
KR: Code? You think you were that deep...was a child...?
You are right, note to myself, never write love poems after taking a dive and swallow soap water or drinking tons of blue milk...it messes with your brain...
KR: Indeed it does. If Rey could see this...she would die laughing...
I don't want her to die!
KR: It's only figure of speech...sheesh...overprotective much...? I was wondering, do you mean that Rey or you would wear your grandmother's gowns?
Rey of course, stupid...if she wants to wear dresses that is...
KR: I'm just saying...it could be taking the other way around...even though you also called her Padmé...
You are the one who is wearing a dress...not me.
KR: I told you this is not a dress! It's a tunic! And I remember certain someone crossdressing in his grandmother's gowns when he was a small child...
That...that's just something all little boys go through, pretend play. Mom loved to dress me in girlish clothes...and I found them when searching through mom's closet for something to play with...something new...
KR: Your father flipped when he saw you.
Of course he did...but mom was so happy...
KR: Of course she was...she even braided your hair...
Don't remind me.
KR: You looked fabulous.
Shut up.
KR: I'm always fabulous.
Of course you are...
"It's a work in progress..." said Ben embarrassed, when Luke looked up from the poem.
His uncle snapped the book shut with a grim expression. "How long have you been dreaming about...her?"
"She has a name now, Ani Rey Padmé...I mean Ani Rey...Rey and I had one dream...erm two...maybe three..."said Ben, as he broke under his uncle's intense staring as he kept leaning over him.
Luke rose up again. "Hmm...I guess as long as you keep your little love story purely fictional since it's against the Jedi code, everything is okay."
Ben didn't dare say anything in objection.
Fictional? Hey! Rey exists! She's my life!
KR: Are you sure any of this is real...?
Did I really make her up...? Just because...I never knew grandad...or grandma...? I thought they would be a...better family...be there for me? Or because they were part of my family...but I never knew them...yet I feel like I do...strange...must have dreamt about them...but how are they connected to my Rey...? And why...Vader...?
KR: Think about it, have you seen anyone interact with her...beside yourself?
Yes, I have...many times in fact.
KR: But, you could be making that up...to make her look more real...
Rey's not my imagination. You are!
KR: Hey! I exist! I had cool wardrobe, ships, a steady and thrilling job and knights! And the coolest grandfather! What does she have? Nothing! Just a nobody!
Hey, that's not nice to say...
KR: I'm only speaking the truth...unless she was Vader...then of course she was the most awesome person in the whole galaxy!
I'm not playing this game...
"And no ruling the galaxy...and what did I tell you about Vader..? Didn't you promise...?" His uncle picked up the hated bottle from the medical bag.
"Erm...sorry...I slipped up..." Ben stiffened when Luke poured the fish oil into a spoon.
"Open up..." He pointed the spoon at him.
Ben shook his head.
"Ben. It's for your own good."
When Ben still didn't open his mouth, he added. "I can call your mother and tell her all about your Vader obsession and the fact you want to rule the galaxy with him."
Ben gulped, but even that didn't make him open his mouth, so his uncle changed his tatic.
"It's also very healthy for you, it will keep your cold at bay. Trust me. I would never harm you...on purpose, " said Luke gently.
KR: What a liar...
Yebb.
"So this is not a punishment...?" asked Ben.
"It's a punishment with benefits," replied his uncle.
"Huh...?"
"Just take it. Get it over with."
Ben opened his mouth and swallowed the nasty liquid. He made a grab for the blue milk bottle, but his uncle took it away, which made Ben whine in protest.
"Now, stop calling her Vader. It's distasteful like the vile taste of this fish oil you will be forced to drink each time you refer to Vader in any way...shape or form. Do you understand me?" Luke held the delicious milk bottle far away from him and even though Ben could've gotten it with the force, he didn't dare in case his uncle would find something even worse to punish him with.
KR: You and Leia are so distasteful! He was your father you ungrateful, disrespectful little...
I would punish me as well for calling Rey...Vader...or have her punish me...
KR: Don't go any far in that thinking...
But never with fish oil! That's super disgusting!
"I will try," said Ben honestly and hoped that would be enough to get a least get a little taste of the blue milk.
"Do or do not, there is no try. Only fish oil," said his uncle sternly, without lowering the bottle in the slightest.
"Okay, okay! I promise!"
Luke smiled and handed him the bottle. "Good boy."
Ben chugged down the bottle to get rid of the aftertaste and gasped in relief, when he got his taste buds again. "But, I want her for...real."
"So this...Rey is your dream girl? Someone you knew from a past life?"
KR: I knew grandpa in past life? That's so sweet!
Who said anything about her being grandpa? Ani...and...erm Vader...could be something else...I mean I also called her Padmé, she can't be three people...I mean two people...right?
KR: I wish I could go back in time to meet him...again...
There really is no talking to you!
Next up: The dream girl, boy or Vader?
