AN: Another quick update! Woohoo! I'm on a roll! Hopefully I can keep this speed up...
Chapter thirty one - Confusing parental messages
"He said that...?" Luke looked appalled, as if he wanted to shout at Han from across the galaxy for being a bad dad.
"Yeah..." Ben sobbed and leaned into his chest for comfort.
"When?" His uncle embraced him tightly.
"When he caught me...red handed taking the Falcon..." said Ben through sobs.
"Oh..." Luke's blue eyes widened in realization. "I see..."
Ah...under those circumstances...I can imagine him saying something stupid like that...
KR: Really?
Just in pure rage...but now I understand better why I nearly went to the darkside back then..stupid dad I was just a child! What was he thinking? Saying things like that and sending me away! He really should stop reading those child advice on the holonet, they suck...especially twenty years ago...when children barely had any rights...just look what happened to my poor Rey!
KR: But, you made her...
I certainly did not make her and If I ever find her flesh and blood parents that just left her there, I'm suing them for child abuse..and neglect! And then I will kill them!
KR: I doubt Rey wants that...and what if it was Luke or...even your own parents?
Look, even though my parents can be bad...they are not that bad...and Luke well...
KR: Oh yeah, I wouldn't exactly call your father the parent of the year, sending you away and saying something like that...or maybe he found out that you really are Luke's son...
You are so stupid...No, I think he was he talking about you...
KR: Me?
Yeah...you are not his son.
KR: I think you are really grasping at straws here...
No, I'm not...this is the truth...I know it...
KR: Oh really...I thought I didn't exist when you were a child...that's what you have been saying...
Oh...then what...
"What did dad mean...?" asked Ben in the hope of getting his world back and the darkness out of his soul.
"Are you sure he wasn't talking about Kylo," asked Luke sternly and wiped his nephew's eyes, with the hem of his robe.
"Kylo?" Ben looked startled up. The sky stared to clear up and moon had replaced the sun.
"Yes, as you pinned the blame on him and your father of course had nothing to say to him...so I guess he was trying to get you to come back, his real son...except it backfired...horribly," said his uncle gently and stroked his hair to console him and to restore Han's image, even though he messed up a big time.
Told ya...wait...you did exist back then...? Wait...? What...!
KR: See, even stupid Luke thinks you uses me way too much as a scapegoat! If you would just take responsibility of your actions this wouldn't have happened!
I hope not...that would be embarrassing...
KR: You're embarrassing...if it was so obvious, why didn't you know that was what your father really meant back then...?
I was a kid...
KR: That's your excuse for everything..?
If it happened when I was a kid...yeah...
KR: You're still a kid at heart...
Perhaps...
KR: I think you are stuck in time and still waiting for your father to bring you home from the academy. You never got over that...that it was just a dream...and the fact is that he didn't really care...and abandoned you...forever...and you made Rey to mirror that feeling of being abandoned and to make her more real she was inspired by your grandparents...especially cool Vader. She is nothing more than allegory that stands for your abandonment issues.
What are you my physiatrist? What do you think you know about what I think? And Rey is real! She is flesh and blood! And she is not Vader!
KR: Have you touched her...?
Yes, we touched hands...when we ran from the bombing Tie-fighters ..she touched my forehead...to check my temperature...she even hit me with her staff and she bit me...she slapped him upside the head...
KR: What a lovely girl...
Shut up! She is awesome! She just as a bit of a...temper...
KR: Like Vader.
Sigh...drop that already!
KR: Though Vader never hit me...he just forcechoked me...
What...the...yet another one of your strange...fantasies...! You need help, man!
KR: Oh...like you wouldn't want Rey to choke you...? With the force...?
Erm..that's different...though I would prefer her physical contact...not the force...and not choking me!
This was no fantasy. I still remember how I struggled to breathe until I fell unconscious...and think Obi Finn carried me away into a shuttle after he had chomped my darling Vader in half and then I...my last word were...there is still good in him...I know it...but what I really should I have said is...I wanted to join him! Stupid me! I'm dead because of my stupid mistake! I hope I come back to rectify that! End of scene...
Your roleplaying is really getting about of hand! This must be some shit you did with Hux...wait...did Finn participate...? Back when he as a trooper?
KR: Of course not...he so tiny he could never carry me...such a puny guy...
True...but that's not the part I was really worried about...
KR: As I live in your brain...nothing gets past me... plus I have excellent deduction skills. Thus she is...
Right...only in your dreams...
KR. Like Rey is.
SHUT UP!
KR: Or Vader...
Where is the mute button on you?!
KR: There isn't one...and hey! When I shut up, you begged me to come back! You said you were so lonely!
Right...I'm sorry. You can talk, just stop confusing me. You can be such a blabbermouth...
KR: I'm not a blabbermouth! I telling you the truth, you stupid boy! Open your eyes! Or perk your ears!
Please shut up or we will never finish this...
KR: You shut up!
Ben looked up at his uncle, as the realisation hit him and he bit his lower lip in shame. "Oh...I never thought about it that way...but why didn't dad say that then? It was really confusing...I thought he really hated me..."
"Not again." His uncle shook his head tired, as if he was teaching the same lesson over and over without any result.
"Again?" Ben gave him a confused look, as he didn't remember a single lesson where this was the topic.
"We have been through this already," said his uncle firmly. "Of course he doesn't. He probably thought he didn't need any explaining...or he was just too angry...and afraid to think clearly. People often say all the wrong stuff in anger...and fear...you of all people should know that."
"Will he ever forgive me...?" asked Ben in his smallest voice possible, as the darkness begun to engulf his heart once again.
KR: He never forgave you for it...and he will never forgive you turning to the darkside...
That can't be. He has been surprisingly lenient with me, he hasn't even grounded me for it...not that he's going to! Even though he send me away as a child...for stealing the Falcon and resembling Vader...if uncle was telling the truth...about that...in fact he's been way too nice to me...
KR: Oh, that's just a trap...
A trap?
KR: Yes, to make you think you are safe. You are a still a criminal in his eyes...
Dad is a criminal...why would he care?
KR: Not that kind of a criminal! You are way too dangerous to be kept alive...
Dad would never kill me...literally...
KR: How can you be so blind? Your father just got the news that you still have darkside, even though you turned to the light, that you tried to kill people...with your darkside. If he didn't think you were dangerous, he certainly think so now! You can't be trusted!
Oh, no you are right!
KR: Of course I am...
He knows now that I never..truly got rid of the darkside...I still haven't gotten ridden of it. Now, dad will think of me as something dangerous again...he will get rid of me again...I knew it...he never meant to come back for me...he never came back for me...I should never have come back...it was all a mistake...
KR: Told ya.
He's sees now that I'm truly just a mini Vader...
KR: A mini Vader..so cool...so cool...
What about Rey then...?
KR: She is...the real one...kind of...
Real...? So she is real...?
KR: What is better than one Vader...two Vaders!
Erm...okay...so...stupid...stop lumping Rey with Vader! I just want to get out of here...and yet I want the truth...for her...
KR. You can't do both. So how about...that offer? You can still take it...have you made your decision...you know if you continue this...you will only get more pain.
I told you I want to see this through...and leave...to get Rey...
KR: So stupid. The only way to get out, is to finish this memory trip or take my offer.
Then I want to finish this...
KR: Fine, it shouldn't be that long. All aboard the pain train!
"Of course he already forgave you..." answered Luke through his darkness.
He forgave me...? That's not the pain I was expecting...
KR: Oh, no shut up stupid Luke! I was on my way to bring him straight back to the darkside and you ruined it. Why didn't I stop the memory?! I was so close to winning!
No you weren't. Come on, it's not that easy...
KR: Oh, yes it is...he could be lying...remember...I still have time...
Time? Speaking of, I thought you were going to make this quick! Like really quick!
KR: I never said how quick! Unless, have you made your decision?
No.
I should have I known, you also asked for the truth-truth.
I'm done with that. This is enough. So...please stop this. I need to get back to...help Rey.
KR: Can't. Sorry, you must see this through...and witness the pain...a lot and lost of pain...
You're lying...there is no pain...
KR: Why would I lie? Just listen to mini you...
Mini me?
"If he already forgave me...then why am I still here...? Why did he leave me here?" Ben glanced around the cramped small office with distaste, since at the moment for him, it was the worst place in the galaxy. Except Jakku. Jakku was probably way worse. Poor Rey.
Luke stroked his hair. "To protect you of course. He loves you...more than anything in the whole galaxy..along with your mom...Chewie..." His mouth twitched before the list got any longer and he sighed. "Anyways, he just had to make a very difficult decision...we all had to...so you have to make one too. That is, to stay here and finish your important training. You are the chosen one."
KR: No Rey is...
Most likely...
KR: Very likely...if there is a chosen one than it must be her...that cheatmode...or Vader...
Stop calling her that! Cheatmode and Vader! I had forgotten how uncle was always hammering about, how I was the chosen one...
KR: You were really good at shutting out his teachings...
They were so boring...I wanted to fly instead of being stuck on some rocks, mediating forever and maybe use my lightsaber a little bit. He hardly allowed me to use it! He was always protecting me...but from what...?
KR: Darkside...meaning Rey...that's why he didn't allow you to go and get her...
Rey is not darkside. If Luke thought that, then he is even more of an idiot that I thought. She is even named after a ray of light. Come on, she can't be darkside! Besides, this was not the right way. He shouldn't have forced me...it had the opposite effect...
KR: It sure was the right way...for me...
Stupid uncle...why didn't he just allow me to go home...? Or pick up Rey? Why did he and my parents have to make everything so difficult?!
KR: Are you sure you can blame it all on them?
What do you mean?
KR: You forgot all about her.
I still don't understand...how that was possible...?
KR: And you...or well I, still haven't wrecked your uncle's office...for real...
Oh no, you really meant that?! You...?
KR: Yebb. The most fun part is still left...aaah that's why I didn't just stop the memory! I wanted to see that again! It was fun! Always fun to break things!
What, you can stop the memory...for good?
KR: Not until I get what I want.
So evil...
KR: We are going to have so much fun...destroying Jedi things! Say goodbye to all the precious Jedi artifacts!
I've a bad feeling about this...
KR: As you should...
"But I am just a kid...kids make mistakes...right? Am I not allowed to make mistakes...?" asked Ben desperately, as he had no idea how to go through life without making some.
Luke groaned when he heard the real cause of Ben's misery. "Is that one of the reason you went to the darkside...your father's words...?"
Ben nodded and sniffled. "Yeah...they really...really hurt. I wish he could've have just worded it better."
"Of course, I wish I could say that I would never do such a mistake with my child." Luke sighed. "But of course all parents make mistakes. I even make mistakes with you..."
"Like trying to kill me."
Luke stiffened. "Yes, that was horrible...but I still love you and your father does as well. He was not angry at you for taking the Falcon, you know."
"He wasn't...?" asked Ben surprised.
"No, he was afraid of losing you. You were running away...that's what made him angry," said his uncle in his most softest voice possible.
"It was...? That's the same thing he said in my dream...are you sure...it's the same thing in reality...?" Ben didn't dare to hope, as he was so used to have his hope crushed, despite his mom being the most optimistic person he knew. Or well, at least on the outside. Inside, she was probably crying or screaming in frustration over the stupidity of other people, who couldn't just do as they were told. Namely, him..or well also his father and uncle. But mostly him.
Luke nodded. "Of course I am, but do you want to call him and ask...oh wait...we can't..." He bit his lip, as if he said too much.
"Because, don't have his number," finished Ben for him.
Luke nodded, happy that his nephew finally listened to him. "Exactly...but we could of course call your mother and ask her about it..." He went over to his desk and retrieved the com-link.
"And have her yelling at me for everything I have done? No, thanks." Ben shivered in dread, as he imagined her scoldings that would sure to come, sooner or later. He preferred later or never at all. He stared scared at the com-link in Luke's hand, as if he was expecting it turn into his mom to yell at him for everything.
"If she hears how badly you are feeling, she probably will not be that mad to know what you did...or at me," said Luke, but it didn't sound like he believed his own words and he too, looked afraid of the equipment in his outstretched hand.
"You sure?" asked Ben hopeful and took the com-link from his open palm.
Luke sighed. "I can't guarantee it of course..." He knew better. There was no way to escape from her scoldings, not even by going into hyperspace. She would just find a way to scold them through a mind-link.
Did she ever scold you?
KR: Me? No...she's not my mother! But oh, boy is she going to scold you!
She already did.
KR: You call that scolding...?
No.
KR: I thought not.
Gulp...
"So, can I ask her to call dad to take me home...now?" asked Ben, who was braver than his uncle and was ready to risk a scolding. Also because, technically Luke was in way worse trouble than him, for nearly ending his life, even if it was by an accident. His mom would not look too fondly on that, near nepoticide.
"No, not yet...and you know why," said Luke sternly as he had no longing to go back to that endless debate of why Ben can't go home yet. He looked anxiously at the com-link, like he wanted to take it back, but allowed Ben to keep it for now.
"Oh...how about picking up Rey then?" said Ben expectantly, as he finally found a sure way to help her. At least it beat him trying to reach her across the galaxy and help her that way.
Luke sighed. "I meant to chat to her or your father...about his words...or that dream with the lost toy falcon and lollipop. Maybe they can help you decipher the dream, if it worries you so much...and about this Rey..." Luke voice trailed at the last part, as he wasn't sure it was so wise to encourage more Rey-talk.
Ben pouted and gave him the com-link back, to Luke's relief. "They have never been a chatter and they are both far too busy...for me...especially for something stupid like words...or dreamology...or my...love...girl...they probably won't even believe me..."
"A parent is never too busy for their child..." said Luke solemnly, as he put the com-link back.
"Why do you talk like you are a parent? Do you have a child?" said Ben as Luke drew his chair and put it in front of the sofa and sat down into it.
"Yes and no," said his uncle in a mystified voice and stared deep into his eyes, as if he was seeing someone else there.
Ben stared back at him without blinking, like they were in a staring contest. Of course he lost and he blinked furiously after his eyes stared to burn. "I don't follow...did you lose a child in birth, like uncle Lando...?"
KR: Lando had a child..?
Yes, it was very tragic, it died in birth, I was six or seven years old...I never met my cousin...
KR: What happened to the birth mother...did she die a well...? Like me...erm Padmé?
You..? The kriff? More games? We really need to get out here and fast!
KR: Yeah...
No, uncle Lando and aunt Kesha got seperated. He threw himself into work and she did too...I think...
KR: But he didn't turn dark...? Or she...?
Lando isn't force sensitive...and if he was, he would probably be more on the grey side...and Kesha as well.
KR: Bah! Grey...
"No...I have my Academy and you." Luke reached out to put his hand on Ben's head.
"Me...?"
His uncle nodded and petted his head. "You are my surrogate son while under my care."
"I only have one father," said Ben slowly, as if Luke had forgotten how biology works.
"Of course," Luke nodded in agreeance, but still didn't stop petting him.
"Or well...two, since unca Wanwo is my second father," corrected Ben and smiled as he thought of his cool, honorary uncle.
Luke withdrew his hand sharply, like he had burned himself. "What, how can he be your second father...? I'm here watching out for you...while he is off somewhere, this is not fair..." He pointed out the window in the dark, as if he was seeing Lando out there having fun with some lady, droid or even man.
"But he lost a child...so he is a father, unlike you," said Ben slowly, like he was reading the description of the word father from a dictionary.
Could Rey be Lando's? Then she would be my cousin, but not my blood cousin. No big deal! Haha, in your face! And it doesn't matter if we are family in past life...since that would just be soul not blood!
KR: Huh, how to you figure...? I thought we were done with Rey's parentage and origin theories...? And are you saying Lando is that horrible father, that he would leave his child behind...
No! Unca Wanwo...I mean uncle Lando is too awesome for that! I mean what if the truth is...his baby was swapped at birth, with a dead one and his alive one, was kidnapped...for...erm...ransom...?
KR: What for...? And why haven't Lando payed that ransom yet then...? And isn't Rey way too young...for that timeline to work? How old is she again...? You said Lando lost his child, when you were what, six or seven years old?
She is nineteen. Sigh...you are right. Rey wasn't born yet. But, maybe I'm misremembering and it happened when I was ten...! Ah that's why I had these dreams about her! I got it, she was kidnapped by the First Order to be made into a trooper, but the shuttle crashed and landed on Jakku. And that's why poor Rey has been waiting all these years, but her parents don't know that she survived so...
KR: Hmm...you mean to tell me she had to survive on Jakku, since she was a baby..?
Well...if she was the chosen one in other life...
KR: Now, you believe in that theory...but what about the shuttle she was screaming after when she was what...five...eight...?
Oh...right...but that could be a false memory...
KR: She doesn't even look like him...
She could take up after her mother!
KR: She doesn't look like Kesha either...admit it, she takes most after...your family...
We are not related! At least...not in this life...and I did not create her! I'm sticking to my Lando theory! That's the best one!
KR: No, your Lando theory has way too many holes in it!
Shut up, then you come up with a better one!
KR: Oh, I will...first of all, we don't know if Lando's baby is really alive...
Oh...right...
KR: But, if that would be the case, it could well be you know...the traitor...just saying...at least he looks like him...somewhat...
Finn? Hmm...but I was really asking about Rey...
KR: There are other origin stories beside hers!
I don't care about anyone, but hers!
KR: So pathetic...
"I...kind of did...lose a child...I mean..." Luke bit his lip, like he was in great pain and his eyes had the most sorrowful look in them that Ben had ever seen from him.
"But you said you didn't."
"From a certain point of view...it's complicated...son..." Luke smiled like someone who had once had held something good, but lost it and now only had memories to go by his day with.
KR: Sounds to me like...incest...since he had to give his child...away...blood shame...he had Rey with your mother...
Urgh...will you drop that already! It's gross! I don't want incest origin theories!
KR: You have no choice. I just meant that either you...or Rey could be...born that way...maybe that's why poor Rey was left on some desert planet.
Erm...how about no! My mother would never do that!
KR: What about Luke...?
Well...yeah I could see him doing something so stupid...like leaving his child unattended somewhere...adopted one I mean...
KR: I feel a tiny bit sorry for Luke, that you can think something so awful about him...
Maybe, we should just wait to jump to conclusion, until we get more information...
KR: Yeah.
I'm still rooting for her to be Lando's that would be so cool! :D
KR: Wait...is that a smiley face...?
I'm really losing it in here...but my point still stands!
"Are you talking about your son in the dream...?" asked Ben, as he tried to fit everything together that his uncle had said.
"Why...yes..." Luke nodded, surprised that Ben caught on so quickly.
"That's not the same as losing someone in real life..." Ben narrowed his eyes at him, for making up some imaginary sob story to get easy sympathy from him.
Luke huffed in annoyance. "Oh...isn't Rey real for you...even though you two have only met in a dream. In fact you can't stop thinking about her," he shook a finger at him sternly.
Ben gulped, as he couldn't really fight the Rey argument and he agreed with him. "You make a strong point...you can be my...third father." He smiled wickedly, like someone who had lot to give, but only gave one credit to the poor.
"How can I get up in rank?" pleaded Luke with him.
"By letting me leave...and get my Rey." Ben grinned, but Luke frowned at him, for even trying that blackmail and shook his head.
"Nice try. Go to sleep." He stood up from the sofa, drew the curtains and turned off the light. "Now, Ben."
"Technically, Lando is my number one dad now...so you can be number two," said Ben, as Luke got himself ready for bed.
"Did you just...demote your own father?" Luke looked outrageous.
"He left me here," spat Ben.
"Yes...but...he had no choice...he did it protect you. Trust me," pleaded his uncle, like he had done some irrevocable damage to the father-son relationship.
"I won't believe that, until he tells me that himself," said Ben merciless. "He has lot to answer for...like telling me that I'm not his son and not clarifying what he meant...stupid dad..."
"Oh...okay...I can understand that you are mad at him for it. Then where does he rank now...?" asked Luke and feared the answer.
"I'm not sure. At least he will have to do a lot to get back to being my number one dad," Ben crossed his arms with a hateful glare.
"I doubt he will be happy to hear that..." Luke was shocked to see, that gone were the days that Ben idolised Han.
"I don't care. Say, if you had a child...for real..." inquired Ben like he was interviewing Luke for the open available dad positions, as his uncle rummaged through the dark with a flashlight.
"I have you and the academy," replied his uncle without missing a beat, as he put away his things for the night.
"Of your own...what would you do?" asked Ben curiously.
Luke surprised by the question. "Do...? Send it to bed obviously. So go to bed now...wait are you hungry?"
"No."
"Are you sure...have you eaten anything today?"
"I thought I was supposed to call mom?" said Ben, since his uncle's fussing reminded him of her.
"You are too scared to let her know what you did last night," said Luke matter-of-factly.
"I'm not scared!" shouted Ben indignantly, thought it was the truth and nothing but the truth.
"Yes, you are. You know she will lecture you for it and...me, so...you better sleep in here tonight. I changed my mind, I'm not going to move you to your room." He put away the chair that was in front of the sofa and put it back under his desk.
"You are not...?" Ben gazed at him in surprise.
"No. I do not want to wake up to you sneak up on me again...nearly being impaled my lightsaber. One time was enough! To make absolutely sure that is doesn't happen again, I will lock it up." Luke picked up his saber and put in a safe. Ben could hear the lock click close.
"What about the saber on the wall...?" Ben pointed at the red saber that hung behind the desk, the one he really wanted to have.
Luke glanced at it and back at him. "That just some ancient..." He shook his head. "I doubt it even works. It's only for decoration. No touchy or there will be trouble." He shook a finger at him. "And go to sleep this minute. You need all the sleep you can get, after your stupid night adventure that nearly got you killed." He opened up a closet and took out a thick mattress. He breathed heavily as he fought to get it lose from the little closet.
"Where will you sleep?" Ben glanced around the office, which despite it small size had lot of secrets, but having a bedroom was not one of them.
Luke dragged the mattress until it landed beside the sofa with plop. He wiped the sweat of his brow. "I will sleep here on the floor and watch over you...and make sure you won't sneak away or do something stupid."
"You don't have a bed," said Ben, as if his uncle didn't already know that and had already fixed that, kind of.
"No, no budget." Luke picked up a thin blanket and pillow from the upper shelve in the closet and threw them on the mattress.
"We could go and bring one of the unused beds over here..." suggested Ben and was about to do that, when his uncle stopped him, by saying: "I'm way too sleepy to move big things around..." Then he flopped onto the mattress and curled under the blanket with a content smile.
"Shouldn't I sleep there...? It can't be good for your back. I can also go back to..." said Ben, but his uncle cuff him off and barked at him: "No, you need all the rest you can get. Don't worry about me. I'm used to sleeping in strange places. Now go to sleep."
"I can go back to my room..." said Ben, who among countless other things, hated to feel like a burden.
KR: Weren't you trying all this time to stay? Because you were too afraid to be alone?
No, I just wanted dad's number...and Rey.
KR: But now?
I don't know...at least I still want Rey.
KR: This is your memory and you don't know anything?
Only bits and pieces..
KR: But, no spoilers...nothing of value...
You could say that...but at least I have always wanted Rey.
KR: And I always Vader...
I guess, it's good that some things...never change...
KR: But they did change, you forgot about Rey...while I never forgot about Vader...so I win!
I don't know why I forgot about her! But at least I remembered her...in the end! That must count for something, right?
KR: I doubt she will look at it that way...
I hope she will understand!
Luke sat up and gave him a sad smile. "I'm not leaving you alone kid...not when you are feeling unwell and if I send you back, you would probably stay up all night and think about all this stuff. While in here, I can make sure you go to straight to sleep...or well at least I can try..." He looked doubtfully at him. "Are you sure, you are not hungry?"
"I'm sure."
"Okay, then go to sleep." Luke yawned and lay back down. "Nighty, night."
"Would your real child be a student in your academy? Or be living with its mother?" continued Ben, despite the fact his uncle was trying his hardest to fall asleep.
His uncle shot back up. "Are you still thinking about that...and what kind of a question is that anyway? Of course here, I would prefer to keep my child as close to me as possible...so sleep son." He gazed longingly at the ear plugs on the nightstand, but decided against using them, since it had nearly ended horribly last time. He groaned and put a pillow over his head, to muffle out the sound of Ben's ramblings.
Hmm...then there is no way Rey can be his...not even in the future...
KR: Are you sure...? He could be lying...or he changed his mind...
Rey is my dream girl.
KR: And your creation...
I seriously doubt that...I couldn't create something so...beautiful...clever and powerful...and just so plain awesome!
KR Sigh...
"Then you would not need me," whispered Ben into the dark, a bit sadly.
Luke took the pillow of his head and stared bewildered at him. "Need you?"
"Yeah, you would have your own child." Ben put on his victory smile, as he believed he had found the solutions to both of their problems. Or at least a way to get away from this place and maybe even save Rey.
His uncle shook his head tiredly. "You don't think I have room for both of you...? I have a whole school to take care of. But, of course my...own child would come first..." He smiled proudly at him.
"I understand." Ben nodded and felt a tiny bang of jealousy, despite wanting above all to leave. But, as he was so used to being second place or even lower for his family and other people, he kind of wished someone for once, would put him in first place.
KR: Snoke put us in first place...
Yes and he tortured us!
KR. You can't have everything...
I wonder if Rey will put me in first place?
KR: Why would she do that...?
She is in first place with me.
KR: Yeah...but you don't really have a lot to choose from...
HEY! Not true! I have my family.
KR: That hates you now...
Sigh...I'm afraid you are right...
KR: And Rey will hate you as well...
I hope not! That would suck!
"But, I'm not going to break the Jedi code, so you don't have to worry about that happening." Luke gave him, what he thought was his most comforting smile, but Ben frowned in distaste.
"You don't look too happy about that," said his uncle confused.
"Well, the Jedi code sucks." Ben snorted.
"It's there for a reason." Luke looked at him warningly, like he wanted to give him fish oil to make him appreciate the code again.
"And I was really hoping you could just take another kid and make him or her your chosen one. Then I could go home. Can't we find Rey and make her the chosen one? She seems to need it way more than I do. You can adopt her if you like."
KR: So you were really going to pin poor Rey on him? How selfish can you be?
But, I am right, she needs family! While I have a family, parents.
KR: That were never there for you...
Oh right...
KR: And still are.
Oh yeah, then how come dad has been...taking care of me all day?
KR: He just happened to pick you up along with the Falcon, he would never have gone out of his way to get you, even though your mother would have let him know you had returned...
So...he's just dropping me off to her, since I happened to be on his way...? Like I am some...extra delivery...? Some package to get rid off...?
KR: Yes...he is really just happy to get the Falcon back and he can't wait to get rid of you...he doesn't want you back in his life, you have done nothing except make everything more complicated...he likes freedom...you are stealing it away from him...he doesn't like having to take care of you...all the time...just like in the past...
I...believe...you are right...
"You think I'm doing this for myself?" Luke gaped and gazed at him incredulously.
Ben shrugged. "I didn't ask to be the chosen one."
"You really believe that your parents wanted this...or I..? Not, that I don't like to have you. You're my family." He smiled, like the word family gave him happiness.
"Well, I don't want to be here. I have nothing against you personally, I just don't like it here." Ben pouted.
KR: Hah, nothing against you personally...what a liar...
I didn't hate him back then...I think...
KR: You hate him now?
Kind of...especially if he did something to my Rey...I mean he didn't allow me to get her! It's his fault she has been waiting all these years...alone!
KR: So why can't I kill him?
Mom and dad wouldn't like that...I mean I don't like that! I don't think Rey would like that...
KR: What if...he tried to kill you...?
He did try that...couple of times...but that was an accident...
KR: I mean...for real...
For real...? Why would he do that? I wasn't a threat at that time. Well, then I would just get the...away and tell on him to mom and dad. They would deal with him...I hope...
KR: That's no fun...
"Oh...then you are just going to leave me alone with Rey...? I thought you loved her..." Luke smirked and crossed his arms, as he had already defeated him in mental battle.
Ben stiffened. "Erm..."
KR: Wow, he really trapped you there...
Shit!
"I can come for visits...and we have some connection where I don't even have to be in the same place to see her," said Ben quickly and looked far ahead, as if he was expecting to see Rey appear in the room. A small part of the moonlight peered through the curtains.
Oooh, that would be cool!
KR: Yeah. Very convenient. I would like that.
"And we can touch through it." Ben smiled and reached out with his hand as if Rey was there, to reach out to him. He met the light.
NICE!
KR: I wonder if that is possible...I have to check the old texts...
"What...that some fantasy you have there." His uncle glanced at where Ben was staring, as if he was expecting to see her, but when he saw there was nothing except his hand that was bathed in moonlight, he just shook his head and pulled the curtain close.
The light vanished, leaving Ben in complete darkness. He frowned in anger, that his uncle shattered his illusion of Rey like that. "No it's not. It's real. Forcebond," he said forcefully, as if by speaking out loud about it, it would make it become real.
He pulled the curtain open with the force and reached out again, but his uncle's stern voice broke his concentration once more. "They don't work like that...I think...stop talking and go to sleep." Luke closed the curtain again.
"I think I read about it in some ancient book," mumbled Ben, as he tried to recall it and tried to open the curtain again, but Luke grabbed his hand.
"Where on Tatooine did you get an ancient book? Please stop blabbering and go to sleep. Why are you always so stubborn...? Sigh, I guess it's in your genes. I was wondering...have you ever wanted to have golden locks?" He touched his black hair.
"What no...why?" Ben jolted from his touch as if electricity had shot through him.
"It's more fitting for Ben Skywalker." Luke continued petting his head.
"I'm Solo-Organa..." Ben glared at him and bat his hand away.
"Of course I know that. I'm sorry, my bad...just have a lot on my mind...and so exhausted...you hair looked so bright in the moonlight earlier...so exhausted...my dream kid had a blond hair..." said Luke sadly and gazed far away.
"Anything I can do to help? I can put on a wig..."
KR: You want to be his son?
No...but maybe he would treat me better if I pretended to be...
KR: Pretended...right.
What's that supposed to mean?
KR: You will see. Besides I already wore a blond wig, when I was Matt the Radar technician.
I had forgotten about that!
KR: Fun times...maybe I should do that again...
His uncle shook his own head and patted Ben's head. "Nah, just be yourself."
Ben pursued his lips. "Okay...I can do that." He was annoyed by the petting, but didn't object to it, as his uncle seemed to need it.
"And stop destroying stuff." Luke frowned at him sternly and patted him a bit harder.
Ben nodded, as he took that in. "I can also do that...can you stop petting me?" He pleaded.
"And obey me always." His uncle pinched his ear tightly for emphasis.
"I can try that..." Ben grimaced, rubbed his ear and pouted.
Luke frowned at him and shook a finger at him. "No try, just do. Do you want me to call your mother...so you can talk about what's bothering you, while I rest my weary head?" He looked at the desk, which contained the com-link.
"No," said Ben, despite all his earlier troubles of trying to get one and the fact he really needed to speak to someone, who wasn't trying to sleep. But he doubted there was anyone, that had any time for him. Except Rey, but she was most likely an infant, so she didn't count as someone he could talk to. Unless, he could keep dreaming about her. They were always talking in his dreams, but for most part he was the one comforting her. She was so lonely.
Luke was surprised by his rejection of the offer to speak to his mother, but didn't press. "Okay, fine then just go to sleep. I will watch over you. I will protect you...always. Get some sleep my little padawan. Love you, Ben Skywalker." He gave him a forehead kiss.
"Uncle, you are freaking me out a bit.." Ben wiped the kiss away.
"Oh sorry son..." Luke grinned and petted him.
"Stop calling me son. It's super annoying," said Ben through clenched teeth and swatted his hand away.
"I was just kidding, you looked so serious...I was just trying to lighten the mood. It was getting way too dark in here...and I'm tired...you are tired...hehe Ben Skywalker...my child..." He blinked him teasingly.
"Not funny and you really need to get your own kid," shot Ben back, as his mood darkened again.
"Maybe, but I will not break the Jedi code, not while I have you...son." He smiled at him.
"Uncle!" shouted Ben in warning and the room started to shake again in protest over his uncle's unfunny jokes.
KR: What a creep.
Hey, that's not nice to say. Luke was just fooling around...or did uncle really own some kid that he lost and I didn't know about...? Not just in some dream? Why is he acting like this...? Well stranger than normal...
KR: Did he really break the Jedi code...? Interesting...
Then Rey can hardly be his...not even adopted. He would be pouring all his attention over her instead of me...right...? He said he would...or well both of us...or at least her and his stupid school...
KR: Maybe he had to leave her for some reason...like your parents had to do...with you...
So what you are saying is that he and my parents let someone else raise their kids...?
KR: Yeah.
So stupid...if that were the case, then Luke would've have let mom and dad raise Rey, not some stupid scavenger.
KR: Hmm...or maybe you are really his...he did have a thing for your mother...he keeps calling you Ben Skywalker...
Please not this again...it's not, it just because of his dream and could it be, that he doesn't even know of Rey's existence...? That she is in fact real? That he could just go and adopt her...?
KR: Well...you might get some answers later...
I might...?
Next up: A little darkside meltdown...
