One month later...

Two robbers were in an alley in the run-down part of Gotham across from a jewelry store.

"You sure about this?"

"Joker ain't around no more, so we're on our own now."

"No, I mean are you sure Batman ain't gonna show up?"

"You kiddn' me?" The thug pulled out his phone to show his partner the live news of Batman, Red Hood, Nightwing, and Red Robin fighting a super-charged Bane on the other side of the city. "He's on the other side of town! Besides, who's gonna care about a few missing rocks when Bane is wreckin' the city?" He smiled, and his partner smiled back.

"Okay! Let's go nab some bling!"

Little did they realize that on the rooftops just above them, a figure was chuckling as it watched them break into the store.


"Thanks again Batman." Said commissioner Gordon as he shook Batman's hand.

"Just another night in Gotham, Jim." Said Red Hood. "With Bane back in Arkham, that just leaves the Riddler, Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy on the loose."

"Commissioner! Batman!" Harvey Bullock got off the radio and ran over to the bat-family and Gordon. "That was the GCPD, we gotta get down there ASAP."


In front of the GCPD was a giant purple box tied up with a green bow and a note reading "HA HA HA!" and two Joker cards. as soon as the Bat-family exited the batmobile, a female officer gave them all the details.

"X-ray shows there are two people in there as well as a leaking gas canister, possibly Joker gas. Our bomb sniffing hounds haven't found anything, but we think it might be a trick. This is clearly the work of the Joker, that lunatic. He should never have been let out in the first place."

Batman held up a hand. "Not so fast officer, look at the cards." He pointed at the two playing cards on the box.

"We have. Both jokers. It's literally his calling card."

Red Hood spoke up. "Why don't you take a moment to think about what it means, lady? When has Joker ever left more than one card? It's never happened before! I think he's trying to tell us something."

"Like what?" asked Nightwing. "What could you possibly get from two cards?"

"OH! OH! I KNOW!" Red Robin exclaimed as he raised his hand. "He's saying that, uh, he's playing with a full deck!"

"Exactly." Batman said. He walked up to the box and activated his scanners. "What's more, if the canister did contain Joker gas, these people in the box as well as everyone around it would be suffocating from laughter. This gas appears to be an incapacitating agent sending the exposed into the REM stage. Analysis suggests it also triggers the body's ventromedial prefrontal cortex." He turned off his scanner and took off the lid of the box.

Red Robin blinked a few times. "What does that mean?"

As soon as batman put the lid on the ground, an adorable (and surprisingly not creepy) toy Joker head with a smile-shaped speaker in its mouth popped up along with some confetti. A music box started playing pop goes the weasel and the Joker toy began to sing in Joker's own voice.

"I call this stuff my 'Joker dream',

It's my latest in-ven-tion,

The bad guys have a silly dream,

While they go to de-ten-tion!

Hahaha!"

"Oh! So it's like knockout gas mixed with the opposite of Scarecrow's fear gas?" Red Robin finally asked, feeling like he understood.

"It's exactly like that." Batman noticed a remote with a single button on it. Scanners showed that it was a remote for the Joker toy to play an audio file, perfectly safe. He pressed the button.

"You know what they say! If ya can't beat em, join em! You've met my top thugs Punch and Judy, but they're just the first present I have for the GCPD! There's a compartment in the hair of this toy that can be opened by pressing it's nose. Go ahead." Batman pressed the nose. "Boop! Ha ha!" The hair opened to reveal a flash drive in the compartment, which Batman immediately pulled out. "On that flash drive are detailed instructions regarding the locations, locks, security, and booby traps of all my Joker gas hiding places! There's also information on how to make the neutralizing agent. You can do so much with this information! Paint a picture of it, take it to see a movie, teach it capitalism! You could even do something weird like going to all those locations knowing about all of the traps and obstacles so you can avoid them and neutralize the joker gas so it never gets into the wrong hands. You can even do that! It's okay, I don't judge. This message will self-destruct."

"GET DOWN!" Yelled Gordon. Everyone immediately got down on the ground, all except for Batman.

"FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! BOOM! HA hahahhahahahhah! Oh my god! Ahahahha! I. I. I c-can't breathe! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I had my fun. Bye-bye!" The Joker head blew up with a loud SNAP but no explosion.

Several boxes of doughnuts were suddenly parachuted from the top of the GCPD. Everyone looked up to see Joker throw the last box of doughnuts down to them. "Sorry about that! In heinsight, it may have been a bad time to make a bomb joke since this is supposed to be my debut as a hero!"

Gordon yelled back up to Joker. "How long have you been up there?!"

"Well, today's Tuesday-"

"It's Friday!"

"..."

"..."

"I dunno, an hour?"

Gordon turned to Batman "Do we really have to work with him?"