new year's eve, Gotham Concert Hall, 11:50

Joker is backstage, unbeknownst to the crowd of people attending the charity event. After all, the only way people would willingly see him on stage is if they didn't know he was going to be there. Right now, he's putting on makeup to make himself look more like a fun-loving clown and less like a sociopath circus freak while Harley is putting the finishing touches on his now neon-green hair. Suddenly, Red Robin peeks his head in the door. "Five minutes to showtime."

"cancel the show." Joker said shakily.

"What?"

"I SAID CANCEL THE SHOW! I can't do this man! They're still gonna hate me!"

"Uh, Joker?"

"They're gonna boo me off the stage, or worse, throw tomatoes and eggs at me! I can't have that, I'm tomato intolerant!"

"Ahem. Joker?

"They're never gonna believe me, they'll just think it's another act, a mask of comedy! IF ONLY THEY COULD SEE MY TRAGEDY!"

SLAP!*

"SNAP OUT OF IT JACK!" Harley said as she put her glove back on.

"B-b-b-but I'm not Jack, I'm Joker." he rubbed his cheek where his ex had slapped him.

"Ha! That's soooo funny. You may not be The Joker I knew, but you sure ain't the Joker I know now!"

Joker got back up on his feet "W-what are you-"

"My Joker that I know would never be worried about whether or not people believe him. You're a clown! You're not supposed to be taken seriously!"

"Well-"

"You've gotten this far, and now you're gonna go out there and show the world that Joker is a changed man!"

"No way! I don't wanna go out there!"

Robin finally spoke up "He doesn't wanna go."

"But he does!"

"I don't!

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"I don't!"

"You... don't!"

"I do!"

"You don't!"

"I do!"

"You don't!"

Joker leaps onto the coffee table next to him and points at Harley with a triumphant smile "Listen here, QUINN! Nobody tells Joker what he can and can't do! Cause when I say I do it means I do!" He leaps off the table and tosses the swivel chair in front of the mirror to the side "YEET!" as he puts on his bright red lipstick over his blood crimson scar. "So I'm gonna go out there," He pulls open his lavender tux with the long entrails and rips off his black tie, replacing it with a large, wide, green tie with the words 'Ha' all over it that covers the front of his orange vest. ", And show the whole world that Joker is a hero! And there's nothing you can... do to... stop... me... I fell for the Rodger Rabbit trick, didn't I?"

"Yep."

"Not the first time?"

"Nnnnope!"

"Not the last?"

"Hahaha! That's for sure!"

"Okay! Now that I'm more confident, let's make em' laugh!"


"Ladies and Gentlemen." Commissioner Gordon spoke into the mike while the previous band was removing everything off the stage. "It is nearly five 'till midnight, and in a few minutes our special guest performer will come out and help us welcome the new year. But first, I need to do something about a few rumors that I have heard roaming around the theater during intermission. Apparently, some of you think Joker is in the building with the intent to crash the party. Let me put those rumors to rest..." Comm. Gordon pulls out his walkie-talkie. "He's our guest performer. GO GO GO!" He exclaimed into the radio.

Immediately, several police snipers burst through the doors and took aim at the stage. "Now, before you panic, he insisted that we have our best snipers trained on his position at all times during his performance. He claims he works better under pressure, just ask Atlantis on open mic-night." the audience chuckled at that. "He begged me to say that. As for what his performance is, we have another special guest tonight, Batman!" He gestured to the open skylight on the roof of the building as Batman leaped down from the batwing and into a reserved seat in the front row. He was met with a solid ten seconds of thunderous applause "Way to make an entrance buddy. Now currently, Joker is running a prank shop in old-town Gotham. His challenge is this; If he can make Batman laugh, chuckle, or even smile before midnight, he will donate 90% of all his profits in 2019 to the 'Make-A-Wish' Foundation. So without further adeu, Joker." He walked off stage to the sound of absolutely nothing.

Then, the instruments started to kick in as Joker rolled on-stage on a segway and started to sing and dance.

I've got to look my best tonight,

To show all of these Gothamites,

That I'm an okay person underneath all that paint.

And though my jolly scars will say

That I should just be locked away.

Before you charge the chair let me show you I can change!

We'll try a tie, of orange, green, or yellow

Or a rose for show, that squirts a funny fellow

With some streaks of pink, upon my lavender tuxedo.

Come on, Batman, let's see a smile!

I know you just can't wait to stare

At all my wild, lime green hair.

But listen to the thing I have to say!

I'm a clown and I'm a debtor,

But I'm getting so much better

Laughing every day.

My crimes included homicide.

I've stolen, cheated, killed and lied

And how could I forget the time I blew up that school?

Or when I murdered on TV,

This really isn't helping me.

The point is that I am no longer that fatal fool.

A squirt, a spurt

To show I'm not the villain

You'll give thanks, for pranks

That aren't literally killin'

And so from, now on

The only blood that I'll be spillin'

Will be from when you split your sides

My sanity's been certified

By quacks and shrinks from far and wide,

They've tested me in every single way,

Laughter's the best medicine

I should know, because I've been

Laughing every day.

I realize I'm the Joker.

The ex clown prince of crime.

There's not a single sin that I can hide.

But you stood right beside me,

When I started acting nicely,

Since you bopped me in the chin

Putting all my screws back in,

Now I'm finally gonna win

Because I'm on your side!

During the tap-dancing segment, Harley Quinn, Red Robin, Nightwing, and Red Hood came out in their full costumes and top hats and began dancing a very well-choreographed tap with Joker. This was leaving the audience in stitches and even Batman was struggling to not smile.

I swear that I'll make Gotham's Knight,

Chuckle, grin, or laugh tonight!

Before the stroke of twelve, I'll find a way!

But thanks to you, I'm feeling better,

Out of that restraining sweater.

Most of you may think I'm lying,

If I were, you'd all be dying.

I just want Gotham to smile,

Even killer crocodile.

Villain joker's gone away,

Hero joker's here to stay,

I am running out of time,

and I'm all out of silly rhymes,

La la la la, la la la la

I regret skipping rehearsal,

I've gone from insane to daffy,

All of this, BECAUSE I'M LAUGHIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

1 minute later

-IIIIIIIIIIIING..

EVERY DING-DONG DAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

The Audience stood up and gave Joker a standing ovation, at least those who could stand up without hurting their bellies after laughing so hard. Joker looked around the theater and, for the first time in a long time, took a bow to a non-captive audience. He quickly turned to Batman but frowned when he saw that he still wasn't smiling.

"OH COME ON!" He exclaimed. causing the audience to abruptly stop. "You seriously didn't find that funny?! You really are hopeless! I give up! What do you want me to do? Drop a piano on my head?"

Then a piano dropped on Joker.

*DUNNNN*

"Hehe." Batman laughed before immediately covering his mouth.

Joker popped up from the piano wreckage all dazed and bruised, but managed to scream out "IF ALL ELSE FAILS, RESORT TO SLAPSTICK! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!" Before passing out.


Gotham hospital, 2 days later

"Ugh... my head... ow." Joker sat up on the hospital bed. "That was not a pleasant experience." He looked around and saw a little boy next to him. "Uh... Am I dead? Is this heaven? Why am I here? Did I kill you at one point? I think I did, I don't forget a face. By the way, who's the ugly dude in the other bed." He said, pointing towards a mirror.

"I'm Mike. I wanted to say thanks for saving me and my mommy a long time ago."

Joker rubbed his head for a moment as he recalled. "Ohhh... Now I remember you! You're the first person I saved!"

"I drew a picture about it! I made it for you!" He handed Joker a drawing of him punching a mugger while Mike was with his mother behind him. It was all in crayon, and there were a few scribbles outside the lines, but it was really good for a little kid's drawing.

"Wow. This is actually really good. Your mom and dad must be so proud!"

"Oh..." Mike looked down at his feet "I don't have a dad."

"Huh?"

"I never knew him."

"Aw... Well he's missing out on his son's artistic childhood." He ruffled the little kid's hair. Mike laughed a bit. "What did you say your name was?"

"Mike. Mike Napier."

"Well mike, your dad may not be here, but someday, you're gonna be big and famous and he'll see you on TV and say- Wait, DID YOU SAY NAPIER?!"


Joker kicked open the door and saw a woman sitting on the chairs in front of them "JEANNIE?!"

The woman stood up. "Jack?!"

"I thought you were dead!"

"I thought you were too!"

"So that's my son?!"

"Yes! Yes! That's our son Jack!"

"I'M A FATHER!"

"Oh Jack!" Jeannie ran up to her husband and gave him a big hug as his laugh of joy turned to tears.

"I'm a father! I'm a... I'm a father! Ahahahahah... I'm... and I... I wasn't there."

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay. What matters is that you're here for him now."

"Mike... I like that name." Joker ended the hug and looked at his wife. She looked really different from when he last saw her (Probably from plastic surgery to protect her from the mafia), but he looked into her emerald eyes and knew that this was the woman he loved all those years ago. Then he noticed that she was holding back a laugh. He couldn't help but chuckle at that. "What? What's so funny?"

"Are yo- are you wearing mascara?" She stifled a laugh as she pulled out a mirror from her purse.

Joker couldn't help but laugh at the sight if neon green mascara running down his cheeks. "HAHAHA! I forgot I had that! Wait, i think you forgot to put on lipstick."

Jeannie put her hands to her lips. "Oh, OH. You'r right. I forgot."

"I can fix that." Joker kissed his wife straight on the lips. "MWAH! That's better! Hey, Candy apple looks good on you."

"Oh stop. You're such a Joker."

"Gasp! (Yes he said gasp) Doth my ears deceive me? Was that a joke?"

"I dunno. What do you think?" She said with a smirk.

"You wanna know what I think?" Joker put his arm around her. "I think that from this point on, things are going to go right." He kissed his wife once more.

Normally, when someone says that, things go horribly wrong. But in this case he was right, things were only going to get better from there.